by Olivia Arran
“Not just Eric,” my words were muffled against his broad chest. “Lots of the men. They told all the women, and we believed them,” I gasped out, close to crying.
“Did the Alpha tell you these lies? The older men? The older women?” James questioned, cursing under his breath. “Your old pack is diseased, rotten from the core.”
“No, not the Alpha. But he barely speaks anymore, and no one sees him — except Eric. The Alpha has turned into a recluse since his mate died, so Eric, his son, acts as proxy and leads the pack in his name. There are no elders, apart from the Alpha. I think…I think Eric and his friends killed them, but I didn’t know what to do or who to tell,” I whispered, sobbing into his shirt.
Guilt wracked me as I remembered the kindly faces from my youth. The women who had fed me, clothed me, and held me when I woke from terrible nightmares. The men who had taught me not to be afraid, how to look after myself, and how to hunt. All gone. And no questions. Everyone was too afraid, too worried about becoming a target. By the time I was a teenager, Eric and his crew ruled the pack, and the Alpha had withdrawn.
I looked up at James. How could I tell him what it had been like? Living with the promise of violence, scared to sleep, scared each time I eventually fell asleep that I wouldn’t wake up in time to run and hide. Eric liked his games. James would see me as the coward I really was. I shoved all my memories back into their box, and swiping at my eyes, quickly jumped to my feet.
“Come on then, I thought this was a party?” Hearing the desperation in my voice, I mentally begged James to understand.
“Ah—” James blinked, confused by my sudden about turn. “Well…sure! Let’s introduce you to some of the pack. They are all dying to meet you, and since this is going to be your new home—”
“James—”
“—if you decide to stay here. Whatever happens, it would be nice if you knew your way around,” he continued, rising from the couch to tower over me. “We can continue our talk later,” he added. His tone was light, but his eyes promised to make good on the threat. “Anyway, you are the guest of honor, we don’t want people complaining that I am monopolizing your time,” he said with a wink.
Placing his hand on the small of my back, he guided me around the room, stopping to make small talk and introduce me to people. Everyone smiled, welcoming me heartily, their expressions ranging from that of genuine interest to expressions of relief. The last puzzled me. Whispering sprung up in our wake, a buzzing sound mixing with the incessant throb of the music.
I turned to James while we were, for this second, alone. “They do know I am a shifter, don’t they?”
“Of course they do, they can scent you,” James replied, a confused look on his face.
“Well, why are they whispering, then? When I can hear them?”
“They don’t mean to, they’re just all excited and happy for me…for us.”
“Well, they are all being very complimentary, but they don’t like Amanda very much. They called her a few choice names.” I couldn’t help myself. I had to ask, “Were — are — you and Amanda very close?”
James thrust his hands into his pockets and rocked back on his heels. He cocked his head, a look of intense focus in his eyes.
“Amanda and I were just—” he shook his head in self-disgust. “—I didn’t know you were out there, I had lost hope and Amanda offered comfort and companionship, even though we knew we weren’t true mates—”
“How noble of her,” I interjected sarcastically. I could guess why Amanda had offered. James was not only an Alpha, he was also devastatingly handsome and strong. Quick witted, yet overwhelmingly kind. The perfect mate material.
“I don’t know why she gave up on finding her true mate. I never asked.”
“What about your mom? Claire? What did she think?”
“She thought I was a fool to give up on love. She had the perfect mating with my father, a true match. She lost him to hunters, who had thought he was a real wolf.”
Love? Who had mentioned love? He had given up? He had lost a parent, too?
I must have revealed my shock because he cupped my face, tenderly smoothing his thumbs across my cheeks.
“True mates are in love, they are bound heart and soul. I am sorry I didn’t wait for you, that I had given up, but I will make it up to you, I promise,” he murmured, leaning down and kissing the side of my mouth, feather light whispers of promise.
Despite the crowd surrounding us, the kiss ignited sparks that shot through my limbs, leaving me shaking as he pulled away.
God, what was I meant to say to that? He had me so confused, not knowing which way to go, what I wanted.
Without thinking, I blurted out the first thing I could think of that might shatter his certainty and test his resolve. “I don’t have a family, a real one that is. I don’t know where I come from, and I might not be good mate material, a good breeder.”
Looking into his eyes, I saw I had shocked him.
“What happened to you, Kara? To make you believe you aren’t good enough?”
Ignoring the question and compassion I saw in his expressive face, I grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the next group of people, hoping to block any more questions.
I didn’t have any answers.
The group parted to let us join, revealing Amanda holding court in the center. My heart sank.
“James! We were just talking about you,” cooed Amanda while she swirled her drink with her straw, coyly looking at James from under her lashes. Glancing at me she added, as if an afterthought, “Oh, we were talking about you, too. Kiera, isn’t it?” she smirked, tossing her mane of golden-blonde hair back over her shoulder with a perfectly manicured hand.
Irritated, I opened my mouth to shoot back a pithy retort, but James beat me to it.
“Her name is Kara, as you very well know.” His voice was hard as he glared at her. Turning to include the whole group, he pulled me forward. “Everyone, this is Kara. She is joining the pack, as you may have heard.” He shot a glare at Amanda, who just raised a perfectly plucked brow in return.
“Now, James,” Amanda continued, as if she hadn’t just been shot down in front of everyone, “We were just discussing family. You know, who’s had pups, who’s related to who…bloodlines, y’know? And that got us to wondering about Kiera, sorry, Kara’s family, and whether any of us know them? Or are related at all? Family is sooo important and we just wondered if Kara had any here.” Amanda’s voice dripped with barely veiled sarcasm.
Looking around at the sea of bobbing heads I wondered if I was the only one hearing how insincere she actually was. What was she up to? I knew I didn’t have any family but she didn’t, did she?
“Of course family and pack ties are important, Amanda, but Kara has only just arrived, and I’m sure we’ll figure it all out in time. There’s no rush,” James replied, covering for me, I realized.
“Unless, of course…she has no family? No bloodlines to speak of?” The small crowd gasped at Amanda’s jab. This was hardly a conversation to have in public, yet airily without a care for propriety, she continued, “Bloodlines are very important when breeding.” She finished with a triumphant smirk.
She thought she was revealing a big secret. She didn’t know that James knew already. How did she know so much about me? The pot-stirring bitch! I opened my mouth to tell her off, but James beat me to it.
“Bloodlines are irrelevant for true mates. The Mother of All knows what she is doing, and should be trusted in these matters. Do you not agree with the Mother, Amanda?” James’s voice was a warning growl, full of steel.
“But…but…you don’t know who she is! Not for sure, anyway. You are the Alpha, you need to mate well,” Amanda stuttered. “You don’t know anything about her!” she wailed, the wind shot from her sails.
The crowd gasped, watching the back and forth and waiting for James’s reaction.
I stood, watching the exchange, a deep frost settling in my chest. Her words hit home.
I didn’t know who I was, didn’t know where I came from. And it hurt.
“Excuse me,” I muttered, needing to get away from all these people, stumbling backwards and blindly pushing through the crowd. I needed to breathe. I had to get some air. How could she be so vicious? How did she know? Was she right? Was I not good enough for James? Is that what everyone would think, now that they knew?
I mumbled apologies as I banged into people, blindly seeking the doors leading to outside. My face burned with the humiliation of being discussed like a brood mare. James had defended me, though. But what if we weren’t really true mates? Did I believe? It went against everything I had ever known. It could just be a ruse to add me to his pack, lock me in, catch me like Eric wanted. Nothing made sense, and I didn’t know what to believe — or who to trust. Pain locked around my heart, squeezing.
Breaking through the last of the crowd, I pushed through the double doors and stepped out onto the wraparound porch.
Late evening had arrived, and the sky had darkened to a violet-black hue, dotted with hundreds of shining stars. The moon had risen, nearly full, a pearly orb hanging just above the tallest trees in the forest. The air felt fresh and crisp in my lungs, the mugginess of the day burned away with the sleeping sun. Insects called to each other across the sleepy meadow, their sounds sharp in contrast with the muffled buzz of the party.
Walking around the porch, I gulped the night air deep into my lungs, shaking my hands to try and relax. I willed myself not to care…not to care about any of it. I just had to focus on my freedom, nothing else. That’s all I had ever wanted — until I had met James.
I grasped the railing, leaning to look out at the wilderness. Calm seeped into me as I rasped my fingers back and forth over the smooth wood. Closing my eyes, I listened to the sounds of the night, allowing them to soothe me.
A door opened and the noise from the house spilled out for a moment. Slow footsteps echoed on the old creaky wood until they stopped behind me.
I squeezed my eyes tighter, desperately trying to hold onto that feeling of peace.
Chapter Six
James
My future mate caressed the railing gently with her long, shapely fingers, a movement at odds with the stiffness infusing her spine. A gentle breeze blew across the meadow, bringing with it the scent of the wild – crisp and green, infused with an earthy undertone.
Drawing the air deep into my lungs, I searched for patience and tact. Please, Mother of All, lend me the words to woo my mate! The old porch, built by a great-great-grandfather long gone, creaked under my feet, the sound loud in the stillness of the night. Kara flinched, almost imperceptibly, her fingers halting mid-motion. It stung to see such a strong woman devastated like this. And she was strong, to have survived her life so far. She will never be scared again, I vowed silently to the Mother. I will protect her.
“It’s just me, Kara,” my voice echoed, sounding loud in my ears. “Why did you run?” Immediately I cursed myself silently for asking such a direct question, one that challenged her rather than protected her.
“Because…,” her voice drifted to me, quiet on the cool air. “Because, you really don’t know who I am, you don’t know anything about me, yet you believe I am your mate. It’s hard for me to believe…” She spun to face me, her hands clenched in little fists at her hips. The moonlight lit her face, highlighting her wide green eyes and plump, luscious lips, lips that I desperately wanted to taste again.
My feet took an involuntary lurch forward, my arm lifting from my side, seeking to smooth her hair that was scattering in the wind, drifting around her face.
“Kara, I know who you are,” I stopped in front of her, managing to resist the urge to touch and stroke. “You are my true mate. My beast knows this, I know this, now you need to know this.”
“I’m an orphan—” the words tumbled out of her.
“I know.”
“I don’t know who I am—”
“I know.”
“I don’t know who my family was,” she rushed on. “I don’t know what my heritage is. It turns out I have been fed lies since I was young — manipulated and forced into being someone who I am not. Told that I had to behave in a certain way. That things are expected of me…things that I find out now — I do not have to do. I have a choice for the first time in my life! A choice! To be me!” Her voice rose in a crescendo, the words tumbling over each other.
“Kara—”
“I may not be your true mate—”
“You are—”
“—but I may not be! You can’t be 100% sure,” she pressed her hand against my chest, her nails digging into my shirt, “you can’t. But…even if you were, and I was, why? Why would you want me? You can have anyone.” She shook her head, her long hair flying with the movement. “And why should I want this? I have a chance to escape Eric, to find out who I really am, to do whatever I want to do. To live life however I want!” Her lips twisted in a grimace. “I don’t know you, not really. I would want to know my mate.”
Pain clawed inside my chest, her words cutting and tearing through me. She didn’t want me. And why would she? Anger burned inside my chest, at Eric for the twisted abuse he had subjected her to, and at her old pack for not protecting her. She would have been just a cub when they found her. She should have been loved, protected, and cared for. Sharp pain flared as my nails shifted to claws, digging into my palms. A growl of frustration welled in my throat. She didn’t know about the fledgling bond between us. She didn’t know enough to recognize it for what it was. I could tell her, make her see that we are destined to be together, but part of me, the stubborn, fool part, I admitted, wanted her to want me, to trust me — to recognize the bond for what it is by herself, and choose me.
“You want to be free?” I forced the gritted words out.
“Yes…no…I don’t know!” she threw her hands up in the air. “That’s just it! I don’t know what I want! I…I like you, you’ve been nothing but kind to me. But I don’t — no, I won’t — be trapped again!”
Emotions swirled in her teal-green eyes as she grabbed the front of my shirt. “How can you be so sure that this—,” she twirled a finger between us, reaching on tip-toe as she locked gazes with me, “—is real?”
“This is how I know,” I whispered, leaning forward and pressing my lips to hers.
Kara
James’s lips covered mine, firm and deliciously warm, a hard pressure, yet not insistent. My lips tingled and opened in response, and I succumbed, pressing my body closer to his. My breasts molded against his hard chest as his arms pulled me closer. Deepening the kiss, he shifted, angling even closer. I felt his cock, hard and ready, brush against my hip. From deep within my wolf stirred, rushing toward the surface, metaphorically sniffing at the air. His male muskiness enveloped me, cascading over my senses and causing my wolf to reel with pleasure. From deep within I felt her bat impishly, testing my resolve and pushing me to act, to let her play.
Gasping for breath, I pushed James away. The lure was too strong. My wolf had never reacted like this with anyone before — anyone but James. God, what if he was right? A yearning — deep within my soul that I didn’t know I had — flared to life. The need to be held, to be wanted — to be loved. Love? What was that?
“What’s going on in that head of yours?” James asked, lightly tapping his knuckles against my forehead. His breathing was ragged, the rise and fall of his chest mesmerizing me for a brief moment.
Wrenching my eyes to meet his, my own widened, shocked at the raw need reflected in his. Hands trembling, I reached up and gently brushed a lock of hair from his face.
Immediately capturing my hand with his, he threaded our fingers together to cup his cheek.
“You felt it, didn’t you?” He nuzzled his cheek into my hand, lightly abrading my fingers with his stubble. My skin tingled just from this small act of touching. The touch felt so personal, more than the kiss that we had just shared — like something a mate would do to show tha
t he cared. Then he lightly pressed a kiss into my palm, and my breath hitched as my heart fractured, just a little.
“I…I felt something,” I admitted. I couldn’t lie to him, not when everyone had lied to me. I couldn’t bring myself to stoop to their level. I wanted to live my life the best way I could, and that started with being honest. And looking after myself, first. No one else would — or had. “There are things you still don’t know about me—”
“Kara, I—”
“No. Stop, please. I can’t—” My throat felt tight, like the air was too thick, “—I just need some space, some time to think. I just don’t know what to do at the moment. You might be…we might be…but I might not be what you expected in a mate.”
Reaching out, James gently shuffled me back against the railing, caging me between his arms. “You will not run from me this time. Tell me what you felt,” he softly ordered, his tone carrying the weight of his power as Alpha.
Immediately, my wolf bristled at his dominance and bore her metaphysical teeth in a growl. Outwardly, my brows arched as my lips pursed.
“There she is,” James said, with a grin.
“What?”
“My alpha-mate,” he chuckled. “This is one of the many reasons why I am sure you are the one for me. You may feel broken, but you are not. You may believe you are worth less than other females, but your soul — both halves — does not believe this. Deep, deep inside, you know you are my equal.” He raised his hand cutting off my denial. “As you just proved. You did not cower, you did not submit and grovel.” He laughed, a deep and joyous sound, his whole face lighting up. “You told me to fuck off—”
“No, I didn’t!”
“I heard her,” he stated. “Between her growl and your face, you told me and my alpha-ness to take a running jump.” Grabbing my hips, he leaned his full weight against me. “And I liked it — a lot.”
