by Sara Marion
***
Paxton was startled awake. She was in the middle of the strangest dream about Jack. She couldn’t remember all of it just that she was running towards him reaching out, trying to save him. He was alone and broken in a dark corner of the woods. Paxton rubbed her eyes trying to dispel the look on Jack’s face. She turned on the light that was on the night stand. She noticed that it was only three in the morning. She yawned and laid back down, although she couldn’t fall asleep. Jack was haunting her.
Paxton grabbed her phone and checked her messages. She couldn’t remember when she fell asleep just sometime after Ryan left. She had two texts messages. Both from Duke, one that he missed her and the other said goodnight, the last one being about an hour ago. She noticed herself smiling at the phone and his little picture that popped up beside his message.
She didn’t know when it happened but Duke was managing to steal little pieces of her heart. She just couldn’t figure out why Jack still invaded her dreams and every once in a while her waking thoughts. She never wanted to be the girl that loved two men, the heartbreaker who shatters a man to pieces, the woman who couldn’t make up her mind. She always hated women who did that but now she understood how it felt. She remembered that when her friends used to tell her their dilemmas, she always mentally screamed at them telling her the choice was obvious and they were just too scared and selfish to make the decision, now who was she to talk?
She finally gave up on sleep and decided to turn on the television. There was nothing on but infomercials and mediocre movies. She settled on an older batman movie. Paxton watched it but didn’t really pay attention, hoping it would put her to sleep again.
Paxton awoke again thanks to her racing heart. She didn’t realize that she had fallen asleep again. She shut the television off and glanced at her clock once more. It was about eight in the morning now. She groaned and rolled over, but couldn’t fall back asleep. When she closed her eyes again, she saw Jack. He was scared and desperately grasping for her to hold on to. Paxton kept reaching out for him but she just couldn’t reach him. Her failed attempts ending up in her grasping the thin air, each time she missed, Jack slipped further away. She felt the panic rise within her and that’s when Paxton woke up. She didn’t know what the cause of these dreams were but she knew that she wasn’t going back to sleep now.
Deciding to get out of bed, she went to the bathroom and started filling the Jacuzzi-sized tub. The hotel had some bath oils for it and she poured some in. A lilac scent filled the air. She took a deep breath. She felt herself relax some as she stuck her feet in the hot water. It stung her skin but within a few minutes of sitting down, she felt the heat sink into her muscles relaxing them. She leaned her head back and just enjoyed the feeling concentrating on it.
She heard a knock at the door and she opened her eyes. She must have fallen asleep again. The only person who would be at her door is Ryan. She pulled herself up, realizing the coolness of the water. She quickly towel dried herself and wrapped the oversized, soft robe around her. She looked back at the bathtub wishing she was still in the nice hot water, but she felt refreshed.
Looking through the peephole, she confirmed that it was indeed Ryan. She opened the door and let him in.
“Hey, thought we may be able to go to lunch or something,” he said as he came in and waited in the doorway.
“Yeah sure, um I still need to get ready obviously, but wanna meet in about forty-five minutes?”
“Sounds good. I guess I should have just called you.”
“No it’s fine. I was just relaxing in the tub, no big deal.”
“Great, see you in a bit,” Ryan let himself out.
Paxton latched the door behind him. She scurried around knowing that she still needed to actually bathe herself since she unexpectedly fell asleep for two hours in tub. She amazed herself that she didn’t drown, but at least it was a dreamless sleep.
She met Ryan with record timing of getting ready. It wasn’t her best look but she figured, less makeup and hair fussing now and she could concentrate on it later when she was getting ready for the charity event.
They found a little place to eat a few blocks down. They settled into light conversation about the event they were going too. Each donated piece was going to be introduced by the person or gallery that was donating it. Paxton felt like Ryan should take this opportunity to speak about her best friend and his niece. They were both so proud of her but the gallery probably wouldn’t be open without Ryan coming up with the idea. After much debate, Paxton finally talked Ryan into giving the speech.
As they concentrated on their meals and conversation died down, she distracted herself wondering where she would be if Ella were still around. It was a Friday evening. She wondered if she would be working. If not, would she be spending it with Jack and the Avery family? By now Ella and Duke would have had toddler on their hands. She looked down as tears threatened her eyes.
“Pax, what do you think?”
She was pulled back to the present by Ryan’s voice. She had no idea what he just said. The confused look on her face must have tipped him off.
“Where did you go on me, Pax?”
“Sorry, I was just thinking about Ella.” Paxton looked away unable to stare at him. She was willing the tears to disappear. She took a deep breath and turned back to him. “What was the question?”
He studied her for a few seconds before responding. She was grateful he wasn’t going to push her on the subject. She was able to reign in her emotions. “I was thinking that maybe at the event we should both be up at the podium introducing Ella’s piece.”
“Oh no, I don’t want to be up there, this is your moment. I thought we already finished the discussion on this?”
Ryan laughed and it caused her to smile. “Okay,” he said still laughing. “Have you seen the piece Duke donated?”
“No,” she said taking a sip of her drink. “Is it one I have seen?”
“No, they are from Duke’s personal collection he kept for himself. I think I will leave you in the dark and you can see it revealed at the show.”
“Ha, ha, sounds good. Now I am really looking forward to the auction. Speaking of which, if I am going to make it on time I better get back and start getting ready.”
“Yeah, me too, my hair takes forever!” Ryan’s sarcastic tone and gestures made Paxton laugh as they left and headed back to the hotel.
THIRTEEN
Silence filled the house where Jack grew up. Jack looked around his father’s office. He couldn’t believe that they will be burying the invincible Jacob Mercier tomorrow. When he was growing up they did not have the best relationship but the past few months had been great. Jack realized how much time he wasted on hating his father. He would give anything to bring him back, even if it were for a day. Jack wanted to tell him everything he hadn’t been able to before he passed away.
“Mr. Mercier?” a voice filled the silent room. Jack looked up and saw the doctor he called for his mother.
“She should be resting comfortably now. I have given her a powerful sedative.”
“Thanks,” Jack’s voice cracked.
“I left my number and a few more sedative pills to let her sleep for the next several nights. Call me if you need anything.”
Jack nodded and watched the doctor let himself out. He went up to check on his mother who wasn’t coping very well. She barely said a word and refused to sleep. They had a viewing tonight for friends and coworkers. His father already had his funeral pre-planned so there wasn’t much left to decide except the date and time. They wanted a private funeral and gravesite ceremony so they picked the closest possible as it was the holidays.
The grief he saw from his mother reminded him a lot of Paxton when Ella passed away. Jack hope his mother will make it through the funeral in the morning. He knew the sedatives will help her rest. His thoughts turned back to Paxton.
Jack remembered how Paxton fell apart at the funeral in the middle of her eulogy. He and Duk
e went up to get her before she collapsed. The tears were never ending during the funeral or at the cemetery. By the time they got home, Paxton was cried out. He remembered those days right after the funeral, she didn’t leave the room much. Jack worried about her but Paxton never responded to his pleas to take care of herself. To eat, sleep, shower. She was an empty shell and he hated seeing her deteriorate right in front of him.
When Jack had enough, he started pushing her to get out and go back to work, to which she responded negatively. He didn’t want to see her waste her life away so he did anything he could to prevent from seeing her go in a downward spiral. He stayed at school, locked himself in the office. He drove aimlessly around town, anything to stay out of the depressing house. The next thing he knew something changed in his wife. She went out and he would stay up wondering where she went. She still didn’t interact with him but at least she was getting out, he was thankful for that. Paxton occasionally stayed out all night but Jack figured she was staying with Susie or one of her girlfriends. Jack didn’t realize that she was sleeping with other men. His fist clenched at the thought of every asshole that took advantage of Paxton. Jack then thought of Duke and how he found him in bed with Paxton. The images of Duke’s arm wrapped around Paxton, the content look on her face. It was enough to enrage any spouse. Duke was lucky Jack didn’t kill him.
Jack exhaled and looked up. Going down memory lane right now was not going to do him any good. He just focused on another dark time in his life instead of the one he was in now. Over on his father’s desk, he saw a picture of himself, Paxton and Duke. He grabbed it and stared at it closer. It was another one that Ella took. They all looked happy, full of life. He wished for a moment he could get that life back. Jack set the picture back down.
He picked up another picture of him and Kenleigh. They looked happy as well. It was one taken over Thanksgiving a few weeks ago. A smile came to his face. He had a wonderful few weeks with Kenleigh. The look on her face in the picture was priceless. She was gazing up at him and you could see the love beaming from her. Jack set the picture down. He didn’t know why his life had to be complicated. It was like it was split into a before and after Paxton timeline and the after part was not so great. He heard a shuffling above him.
Jack went upstairs to check that his mother was really sleeping comfortable. He got to her door and saw that she was in fact sleeping. Her chest was rising and falling steadily. He quietly entered and saw that his mother seemed to have aged over the last few days. She looked delicate and weak. Nancy didn’t look like the strong-willed woman that he was accustomed to seeing. He was growing scared for his mother.
“Jack?” a quiet voice called.
Jack looked over and saw Chelsea standing in the doorway.
“I was wondering if it would be okay if I left for the night?”
Jack walked away from his mother towards Chelsea. He ushered her out into the hall and quietly closed the door behind him.
“Yes, Chelsea. If you would like you can take the next few days off. I will be staying around here to keep an eye on her.”
“I would like to keep my schedule,” she paused as she looked at the floor. “I need the money and can’t afford the days off.”
Jack barely heard the last part. He tilted her chin up to look him in the eye. “It’s paid leave. I think we just need some time, but if you really want to be here, you can come. I know my mother would like that. She loves you and you are like my little sister. My little sister who likes to clean,” Jack smiled.
They both laughed and he walked Chelsea out the door. Despite all the sadness, he was glad that someone else could laugh with him at the little things. Chelsea gave him a quick hug before she left. He couldn’t help but smile back at her.
After he shut the door, he felt the emptiness and loneliness again. Upstairs his mother was resting comfortably but now he was left by himself. He felt isolated and the house felt very dark. He wondered if this is what Paxton was feeling right after Ella. He understood the pull grief had now. He understood that it was hard to focus on anything but the loss. How it felt when you lost someone you were close to. He decided to try to find something to do. He needed a distraction.
***
Paxton walked into the large banquet hall where the charity event was being held. Ryan kept his hand in the small of her back to usher her through the room. Apparently there were designated seating arrangements and they were at the table in the middle of room.
“This place looks magnificent!” Paxton said looking up at Ryan.
“Yeah, didn’t expect all this.”
Paxton looked around. The room had crème and red color fabric hung loosely around the beams and along the wall. Some areas had accents of gold. There were flowers in tall floor vases. The flowers themselves were varying in reds and whites. Vases were varying aged golden colors. Everything was warm and inviting.
In one area of the room were easels set up with various art pieces for a silent auction. Next to it was a stage that commanded the room. There were two easels on either side of the podium. Paxton figured it would be to showcase off the pieces donated by the galleries for the live auction.
“I think we are over here,” Ryan said ushering here into the table-filled area.
Paxton figured there must be about 200 or so guests based on the number of tables. Each table was decorated in crème table cloths, red napkins and bronze chargers. In the center of each table were bowls of water and three floating candles.
“I think they have really outdone themselves,” Paxton said as Ryan pulled out her chair for her.
“I’d say so.” Ryan took his seat. “You look amazing too.”
Paxton blushed. She wasn’t sure what to wear to a charity event but it said formal. She went out and bought a long, black strapless evening gown. It pooled around her feet and show off all of her curves. Unless she were walking, you didn’t see her silver, 5-inch heels she had on underneath. She pinned her hair to one side, letting it fall into loose curls over one of her shoulders. A small, white flower pinned in her hair.
“Thanks, you look quite dashing in your suit.”
“What? This old thing?” Ryan teased.
Paxton laughed. She loved that Ryan always made her smile. He sometimes made her forget all her problems.
“So you think we should try to get some pieces for the gallery?”
“Yeah, it might be nice,” Paxton replied. She took another look around the room as several people were starting to find their seats.
“Okay, what’s our budget?”
Paxton thought about it. She knew Ryan liked to plan ahead and he always talked about a budget. “No budget. Tonight is about the gallery. Whatever we want, we’ll get.”
“Paxton, we need budget. Give me a number.”
“Ryan Jameson, this is a charity event. My pockets will go as deep as they need too,” Paxton replied.
“Touché, Ms. Andrews, touché.”
Paxton watch Ryan sit back in his seat. Although he was about fifteen years her elder, some days she felt like they were the same age.
The lights dimmed slightly and someone stepped onto the stage. Paxton looked around and in the last few minutes while bickering with Ryan, the tables had filled. The murmur that was in the room quieted and they all waited for the announcement.
“Welcome everyone welcome!” a cheery voice filled the room. “I am so grateful you all have made it to this splendid event.” The speaker continued.
Paxton looked around the room. She always detested sitting through introductory speeches. Her mind briefly wandered to the fact that she was sitting in a banquet room, in New York City without Jack. She realized this was her first visit to New York without Jack. Jack, his name echoed in her thoughts. She wondered what he was doing. She wondered if he was with Kenleigh. What did they do on a Friday night in New York, if they stayed in Bridge Heights, or if they moved into the city?
Her dream about Jack came into the forefront of her thoughts. She
wondered what the dream meant. Paxton saw the fear in Jack’s eyes, and she felt her own fear as she woke up with a racing heart and a cold sweat on her brow. She briefly thought about leaving and going to see him. She needed to make sure that it was really just a dream.
“Are you paying attention?” Ryan whispered startling Paxton.
“Not really, I’m just ready for the auction to start,” she admitted.
Ryan chucked. He looked back up to the presenter. Paxton pulled her attention back to them as well.
“Now if I could have a representative from each gallery or artist that donated to the stage area. We will begin the auction,” the presenter smiled.
Paxton saw Ryan stand and walk up to the stage. He did look dashing and she noticed a couple of older ladies taking notice. Paxton smiled thinking about Ryan back in the dating pool. He had been so obsessed with the gallery and Ella, not repairing his relationship with his brother that he let his love-life become non-existent. With the way he was going, he would be a single, grumpy old man soon. He was such a sweet guy always thinking of others before himself, which reminded her, she was supposed to get a surprise from him today. She would need to ask him about that later.
“Our first presenter, hailing from Pennsylvania, is Ruby Stanton.”
There was a round of applause as she took the stage. She presented a landscaping portrait that Paxton liked. She was ready for this part. She picked up her paddle and began the auctioning process.
Ten presenters went by and Paxton only won one piece so far. People were being very generous tonight. All the funds were going to The National Art Education Foundation. It would help art teachers across the nation. She waited for the next presenter.
“Ladies and gentlemen from one of our sponsors tonight, please give a warm welcome from Kenleigh Bailyn, of Oasis.”
Paxton froze. If Kenleigh was here, somewhere Jack would be too. She watched as Kenleigh stood up there in her red dress. Her hair pulled back, showing off her flawless features.
