Funerals weren’t for the dead; they were for the living, a means to say goodbye, or maybe it was more apt to say that they were a reality check to make you aware that everyone’s clock was ticking, that every day that you were fortunate enough to wake up and see the sun rise, you were also one day closer to death.
Funerals were a stark reminder to stop putting off the things you wanted to do and to handle everyone you loved with care, because death spared no one—it was the one thing that all humans had in common, Jake mused as he stood in sober contemplation and looked around.
The turnout at Bob Gibson’s service was overwhelming. Standing room only.
Jake’s plane had been delayed. By the time he’d arrived in the church and squeezed in among the latecomers standing along the back wall, one of Bob’s sons, who looked to be about Jake’s age, was already giving the eulogy.
“There are so many things in life that are uncertain, but love—unconditional love—is one of the few things you can invest in and get a return that far exceeds the outlay. My parents’ marriage—the example they set—always had a profound effect on my life.”
Lucky guy.
“Love isn’t easy. In fact, by nature, it’s complicated and messy, but without it, what do we have? A career? A fancy car? A big house? But what does it all mean without someone to share it?”
Jake’s shirt collar was beginning to feel a little tight. He reached up and loosened his tie. The sun was streaming in through the stained-glass windows and the effect gave the sanctuary an otherworldly feel. A large portrait of Bob sat on an easel in front of the podium from which his son spoke. The way one shard of light hit the frame, it seemed to cast a halo over Bob’s image.
Jake shifted his weight from one foot to the other, alternately looking at Bob’s son, who looked a lot like him, and his friend’s photo.
“I’m sure Mom won’t mind me sharing that there were times in their marriage when the obstacles seemed nearly insurmountable, when both of them, in turn, had to sacrifice what each wanted for the other. But they always put each other’s wants and needs ahead of their own. My parents rode out the storm when it got tough. My dad always told me you don’t give up on the people who matter.”
During Jake’s internship, Bob had been more of a father figure to him than his own dad. Jake recalled a couple of times when Bob had to exercise some tough love, calling him on his own BS and giving him a reality check when he got too full of himself. Even though Jake didn’t believe it at the time, it was now clear that his mentor’s high expectations were one of the driving forces that saw him through the challenging years of becoming a doctor.
You don’t give up on the people who matter.
How many times had Bob said that to him? More important, how many times had he demonstrated it?
The last time he saw Bob, they’d talked about marriage and family. Bob had seemed perplexed when Jake had told him he had no plans to get married. In fact, he’d urged him not to close his mind. And much like what his son was saying today, he’d warned Jake of the shallow trappings of succees. And also, he’d advised him to not let his career consume him because the body aged and success was a fickle mistress who didn’t offer a whole lot of warmth in your golden years.
What does it all mean without someone to share it?
As the choir began singing “Amazing Grace,” Bob’s son returned to the church pew. He sat between his mother and a younger woman, who Jake guessed was his wife. He put an arm around each of them. Something in that protective gesture—or maybe it was the picture of his mentor bathed in that holy light—evoked a feeling that was strange and foreign.
Just last week Bob had been so alive. And now he was gone.
Something shifted inside Jake.
Feeling a little light-headed, he tugged at his collar again. It was just the heat—and possibly the prospect of ending up alone...or even worse, dying without allowing himself to love.
* * *
The rest of the week went by in a blur. Even though he’d only taken off one day, Thursday, flying to New Orleans and back on the same day, he just couldn’t seem to get everything back in sync when he got to work on Friday.
To compound matters, he also realized on Friday morning he hadn’t called Cassie to ask her to the wedding. He only remembered when she said hello to him as he passed the second-floor nurses’ station.
He was surprised that Anna hadn’t been on his case about it. But what was almost more disconcerting was when he realized how little he’d seen of her this week.
He paused in front of Cassie, not quite sure what to say, uncertain if it would be insulting to ask her to a big event the day before it happened or—“Hi, Cassie.”
It was one of those rare moments when they were the only two at what was usually a hub of activity.
He figured he might as well ask. She could always say no and call him a cad for waiting until the last minute. If he ended up going to the wedding stag, at least he could tell Anna that he’d tried.
Cassie was cute, he supposed. Auburn hair—similar to Anna’s—with large, sparkling blue eyes that seemed to light up when he stopped in front of her. He hated to admit it, but even though they worked on the same floor, he’d never really noticed her unless she spoke first. Not that he meant to be rude or disrespectful, but he was usually so focused on patients and their charts that sometimes he navigated the hospital on autopilot.
“Hey, so,” he said, stumbling over his words, “I’m sorry this is such late notice. I meant to ask you earlier. Actually, I meant to call you, but I— Anna gave me your number. You know Anna Adams, right?”
Cassie smiled at him enthusiastically as she bobbed her head. “Right, she mentioned that she would like to give you my number.”
Wait. Should he be doing this here? The hospital didn’t have a no-fraternizing policy. So officially, he wasn’t breaking a rule. But something just didn’t feel right.
“I’d love to get together sometime,” Cassie offered, seeming to sense his hesitation.
“Good. Are you free tomorrow night? Stan Holbrook’s daughter is getting married and I, uh, RSVP’d for a plus-one.”
Wow, that sounded enticing.
But it didn’t seem to dull Cassie’s shine. “That sounds lovely.”
She jotted something on a piece of paper and handed it to him. “This is my address. I wrote my phone number down in case you need it. What time should I be ready?”
* * *
The next day, Jake had picked Cassie up at five-thirty for the six-thirty wedding. Even though she looked lovely, he couldn’t seem to take his eyes off Anna, whom he’d picked out in the crowd in the hotel ballroom. She was with Dylan, of course. They were sitting two rows ahead of where he and Cassie were seated. Upon seeing them together, Jake instantly regretted setting them up.
What was wrong with him? He couldn’t stand the thought of being tied down, but he hated the thought of her with someone else. The thought of Dylan possibly putting his hands on her the way he had the night they were together had him fisting his hands in his lap as they waited for the bridesmaids to finish parading down the aisle.
Cassie reached out and touched his hand. “You okay?”
Jake relaxed his hands. “Yeah,” he whispered. “Fine.”
Of course, that was the moment Anna made eye contact with him and smiled.
“She looks beautiful, doesn’t she?” Cassie said.
Was he that obvious? Apparently so, since most of the guests were turned in their seats watching the bridal party parade, but Jake was facing forward, staring at Anna.
He was relieved when Stan Holbrook and his daughter finally appeared and everyone stood up and gave the bride their attention. Even Cassie stopped asking him questions and stood silently as the bride floated by.
What had happened to him over this past month since Anna had been back? She was Anna, through and through, but she was different, too. Or at least he was different.
In the good old days, th
e one thing Jake disliked almost as much as a funeral was a wedding, but tonight as he listened to this man and woman that he didn’t even know exchange their vows and promise to love and honor and cherish each other until death did them part, something similar to what he’d experienced at Bob’s funeral stirred inside him again.
What does it all mean without someone to share it?
Jake wished he knew the answer to the question, because it seemed as if it held the key to eternal happiness...or a life sentence without it.
After the ceremony was over, he lost sight of Anna as the guests filed out of the ballroom into another lavishly decorated room that was twice the size of the first.
A server with a tray of champagne stopped in front of them.
“Would you like something to drink?” Jake asked.
“Yes, thank you.”
When he only took one flute off the tray, Cassie asked, “Don’t you like champagne?”
“Oh, I forgot to mention I’m on call tonight. So I can’t drink. It’s your lucky night. I’m your designated driver.”
Cassie lifted her glass to Jake and sipped the golden liquid.
It was in that moment of brief silence that Jake spied Anna and Dylan across the room. They were just entering the ballroom. Dylan had his hand on the small of Anna’s back, causing the same possessive force that had driven Jake to fist his hands to consume him again.
“When did Anna start dating Dr. Tyler?” Cassie asked.
“They’re not dating.” Jake realized his tone might have been a little brusque.
“Well, that’s good for you. Isn’t it?”
“Why would you say that?”
Cassie cocked her head to the side and smiled up at him. “It’s pretty obvious that you have a thing for her.”
Oh, hell.
“So, is it that obvious?”
“Pretty much,” she said with a sweet smile.
Out of respect, Jake did his best to avoid looking at Anna—since he was that obvious. One of the great things about Cassie Davis was that she was exceedingly easy to talk to. She was great at making conversation. As the various courses of the dinner were served, they not only made lively conversation with the other guests at their table—some of whom they knew from the hospital—but they also talked to each other about neutral subjects, like recent happenings at the hospital and the food they were served for dinner, such as the merits of the steak versus the salmon. She was funny and quick-witted and quite enjoyable, but there was absolutely zero chemistry between them.
Cassie was the kind of woman who would be fun to hang out with, but she was definitely 100 percent in the friend zone, and he had a feeling the feeling was mutual. She shared a lot of the same qualities that he found so attractive in Anna—they were both nurses, they both had a similarly unpretentious way about them that cut through the nonsense and went straight to the heart of the matter. Cassie was also fun to dance with when the music started and an all-around nice person, but that was as far as it went.
As the night went on, it became clear that Anna was either otherwise occupied or avoiding him, too. Because other than the smile that they exchanged before the ceremony, they hadn’t had any contact.
And then the unthinkable happened. The wedding band decided to change things up. The singer said, “This one is by special request.” The band broke into the first strains of “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.”
Immediately, his gaze snagged Anna’s across the ballroom. He wasn’t so sure it was an appropriate request to make at a wedding, but he was glad Anna had done it. Of all the icebreakers—well, aside from taking Cassie to the wedding at Anna’s insistence—Jake hadn’t been able to think of any that would get them back to the other side of the line that they had crossed. It had actually started to feel like a futile battle—a one-man war with himself.
What does it all mean without someone to share it?
Don’t worry. Be happy.
Cassie must’ve noticed, because she said, “Go ask her to dance. You can’t ignore her all night. Good grief, I think I need to be your romance coach. And I mean that in the most platonic way possible, just in case there was any question. But somehow I don’t think so. Go dance with her and then I need to think about leaving. I have to be at work early tomorrow.”
* * *
“I can’t believe you requested this song,” Anna said once she was on the dance floor with Jake.
“Don’t Worry, Be Happy” was one of those songs that was too slow to fast-dance to, but too fast to slow-dance to. So they did a modified version of the swing dance where Jake alternately sent her spinning out in turns and pulling her back in close.
“I didn’t request it,” he said as he reeled her back in and held her for a moment. “I thought you did.”
Anna pulled back and looked at him. “Are you kidding? The guy in the band said someone requested it.”
“I wish I had,” Jake said. “Looks like fate intervened and requested for us.”
“I guess so. How was New Orleans? I haven’t had a chance to talk to you since you got back.”
He looked so handsome in his suit and tie. The deep charcoal of the merino wool fabric echoed his dark hair and offset his blue eyes in a way that made her a little breathless. Good thing she could blame it on the dancing.
“It was a quick trip, and you know how I feel about funerals—”
“Yeah, the same way you feel about weddings.”
He arched a brow and nodded solemnly. He really was taking Bob’s death harder than she’d realized. She had the urge to pull him in close and hug him until all the anguish melted away.
But she knew better than that.
“Looks like you and Cassie are getting along well,” Anna said.
This time when he reeled her in, he pulled her in close, slipped his right arm around her waist and held her left hand, guiding her to a slow sway. Her curves molded to the contours of his lean body, making her recall what had happened a week ago tonight.
“Cassie’s a lot of fun,” he said.
If Anna didn’t know better, she might’ve thought the muddy feeling that washed over her was her heart sinking. But she was happy for her friend; really, she was. She wanted Jake to meet someone who could take his mind off all the ick that had happened lately. Someone who was just in it for the fun. He really was due for an upswing, and Cassie sounded perfect.
“Does that mean there’s going to be a second date?”
He stared down into her eyes and she felt the connection all the way down to her soul.
“No, I don’t think Cassie and I are suited to date. But we should definitely put her on the list to invite her to the Fourth of July party next year.”
Oh. She knew she shouldn’t read too much into that comment. He was just making conversation, not future plans. A lot could change in a year. He could meet the woman of his dreams. She could meet...someone.
“I’ll make a point of adding her to the guest list.”
She could feel the warmth of his hand on the small of her back, and for a moment she lost herself in the feel of it. Even though other people had joined them on the dance floor, for a moment it was just them. And it was so nice.
“So, how about you and Dr. Tyler? You are looking pretty cozy over there.”
“Cozy? I wouldn’t call it that. He’s nice.”
Jake’s eyes widened. “You’re perfect for each other. He’s a great guy, Anna. Really, he is. I’m happy for you. I’m sensing that I’m getting closer to winning the bet?”
“You’re getting a little ahead of yourself there, bucko. It’s kind of hard to get to know a person at a function like this. It almost feels more like going through the motions with a rent-a-date—or maybe arrange-a-date is a better way to put it. In fact, maybe you should consider that before you write off Cassie. Keep an open mind.”
Jake had a funny look on his face. Maybe he was considering Cassie in a different light.
“What are you thinking about?” she asked.
He was gazing at her so intensely, it was obvious that he wanted to say something—
“What, Jake?”
Their song ended and the band started a set of Southern rock ’n’ roll, but Jake didn’t move his hands and Anna stayed in his semi-embrace.
“Bob’s funeral had a stronger impact on me than I realized. Life is short and there’s no time to waste. It hit me like a train.”
Wow. This was news. Where was he going with it?
She had to lean in closer because the music was so loud. She could smell his aftershave and that heady mix of sexy that was uniquely Jake. For a fleeting moment, she thought she could stay right here, breathing him in the rest of her life. But then there was a cold hand on her shoulder—a hand that wasn’t Jake’s—and it made her jump.
“Hey, guys,” said Dylan. “Mind if I cut in and dance with my date, buddy?”
No. She wanted to hear what Jake had to say. But the moment was over, ruined. It was probably way too noisy to have that conversation now anyway.
“Sure thing, buddy,” Jake said, stepping away from Anna and extending his hand for Dylan to shake. Dylan gave Jake’s hand a hearty pump.
Ahh, the international man-sign for I hear you, I see you; no harm, no foul.
“Cassie and I need to leave anyhow. She has to work early in the morning and I’m on call. You know what it’s like to be the only sober man at a rollicking party.”
He winked at Anna.
“Hey,” she said before he turned to walk away.
“But they haven’t even cut the cake yet,” she said.
“Have a piece for me, okay?”
Dylan put his hand on her shoulder, and she had to fight the urge to take a step away from him to reclaim her personal space.
“Call me later so you can finish telling me what you were saying about Bob’s funeral. It sounds important.”
There was that intense look again. It had her stomach flipping all over again.
“Okay,” he said. “Don’t you kids stay out too late. Anna, we will talk later.”
How to Marry a Doctor (Celebrations, Inc.) Page 15
