by Kiki Swinson
“I got six grand in my savings.”
“That’s it?”
“Yes. But I can get a loan from my bank for another ten grand, if I need to.”
“That’s cool and all, but what kind of nigga am I to let my woman put up all the dough for a business, when I can come up with my own?”
“Well, if you can come up with your part of the money, then how come you haven’t gotten it yet?”
“Because you won’t let me go out and do what I need to do.”
“I know you are not talking about going back into the streets!”
“I’m sorry, Ma, but that’s all a nigga like me know.”
“Look, I can’t talk about this right now.” My blood was boiling. “Stay at the house, I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”
MAXINE
Love Conquers All
Seth was in the kitchen, sipping on a can of energy drink when I walked through the front door of my place. Before I could open my mouth, he rushed over to me and said, “What the hell happened to you?”
“This stupid-ass fool I used to have on my caseload ran up and headbutted me,” I replied while Seth examined my forehead.
“What, y’all had some words or something?”
“No, we didn’t.”
“So, what happened?”
“Well, when I was walking down the hallway, he was standing by the elevator in handcuffs with one of the U.S. Marshals. So, as I walked by them, I spoke to the marshal and then—out of nowhere—this guy leaps right at me and headbutts me.”
“What did the marshal do?”
“He grabbed the guy by the neck and slammed him down to the ground.”
“So, what’s going to happen now?”
“I filed assault charges against the asshole, so he’ll be thrown back in prison for about five more years.”
“Come sit down,” Seth urged me as he led me toward the kitchen table. “Did you put some ice on it already?”
“Yeah, my boss gave me an ice pack earlier.”
“Well, I think you might need some more because that thing is big,” he insisted, going to the refrigerator. He placed a couple of ice chips in a Ziploc bag, handed it to me, and sat down at the table next to me. “You know I’m mad about this shit, right?”
“Trust me. You’re not the only one, because I am furious right now.”
“What’s that nigga’s name? Because I am going to kill him!” Seth roared.
“Look, don’t get yourself all upset because there’s nothing you can do about it. He’s in federal custody, and he’s going to be there for at least five years.”
“You think I care about him being in their custody? Shit, I can get that nigga done at the drop of a hat if I want to.”
“Please stop talking like that,” I begged him. “I’m gonna handle it.”
“On some real shit, I ain’t trying to hear that! I want something done to that nigga.”
“Shit, I want something done to him myself. But, since I’m a federal probation officer and an officer of the court, I can’t do anything. We’re gonna have to let it go and let the system handle it. Anyway, we need to continue where we left off from our telephone conversation earlier.”
“It ain’t shit to really talk about, unless you gon’ let a nigga go back to the streets.”
Frustrated by his irrational thinking, I said, “I don’t know why you even went there. I am your probation officer.”
“Yeah, but you’re my woman first.”
“True. But how will I look letting you go back and hustle drugs?”
“What? Your conscience is going to have you feeling all fucked up inside because you supposed to be upholding the law?”
I was getting irritated. “Don’t go there, Seth.”
“It’s too late for that. That law shit went out the door when we started fucking with each other, so you can go ahead on with that bullshit.”
“It’s not the same.”
“How is it different?” He pressed the issue. “What’s the difference between fucking me and letting me go out into the streets to grind for a couple of weeks so I can scrap up some dough? You can get in trouble for both of them. And at this point in the game, you shouldn’t even want to be there after how they played you with that promotion by giving it to that other chick.”
“Oh trust me, I’m not gonna be there much longer.”
“Well, there you go. Now, we ain’t gon’ have nothing to worry about.”
“Seth, I’m sorry, but I can’t do it. That shit is illegal, and I’m not going to be involved in it.”
“But you’re not. I wouldn’t even bring the shit around you.”
“That’s not the point, Seth. Just knowing about it makes me responsible and I could lose my job. Better yet, I could get locked up right with you.”
“Fuck that job! I don’t want to hear nothing else about it. Those crackers don’t give a fuck about you. And yet, you’re around there hunting down motherfucker’s for them to lock up and getting your ass beat up in the process. You’re just a pawn in their eyes, and they ain’t gon’ ever give you a position over another cracker. I don’t care how smart you are. It just ain’t gon happen.”
“You’re probably right. But, I’m still not going to change my mind.”
Seth stood up from the chair and got down on his knees. “Please, baby, I know you’re against what I’m trying to do. But if you give me just a week out there on them bricks, I promise I’ll bring you all the dough I make so we can start up that business, and I won’t ever ask you to let me do it again.”
I shook my head. “I’m sorry, but—”
Before I could finish my sentence, Seth placed his finger against my lips. “Baby, all I need is one lick. That’s it! And just so you’ll feel better, the shit I’m trying to move ain’t nothing but a few pounds of weed.”
I hesitated for a bit. “And who are you supposed to be getting this weed from?”
“You don’t need to worry about all that. The less you know the better off you’ll be.”
“Well, where are you going to get the money to purchase that stuff?”
“I don’t need any money. I got a few peoples I can see.”
I sighed heavily. “Seth, I don’t know about that. You could really be getting into some major shit if you go back into those streets.”
“I got this, baby. Don’t worry about it,” he assured me as he started massaging my face.
“I still don’t know. I mean, what if those guys you’re talking about are being investigated, and you get caught right up in it?”
“Will you stop being so damn paranoid. Believe me, nobody is investigating them.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Look, let me tell you something,” he said in an aggravated way. “I could’ve gone back to the streets a long time ago. Niggas been trying to put me on since the day I came home. But I told them nah, ’cause I was trying to do shit a little different. And what’s so crazy about that is the road I’ve been trying to take ain’t been treating me right. So when those niggas approached me with the same proposition again, I’m like, ‘Damn, here’s my chance to get back on my feet.’ Plus, I figured I could help you out.”
“But I don’t need your help,” I interjected.
“I know you don’t. And you constantly throw it in my face all the time.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Listen, I ain’t trying to get into that with you. All I want to do is get back on the grind one more time. Rake in a nice chunk of dough and be done with it.”
I refused to comment. I sat there and remained silent.
“Whether you realize it or not, I could’ve got back in the game without even telling you. But that’s not how I want shit to be between me and you. I want to be honest with you about everything, especially if we’re going to be together. Now, what do you say?”
“You promise it’s going to be a one-time thing, right?”
Seth smiled. “Yes, baby! All
I need is one shot.”
Before I answered Seth, I thought about what he said and how I was treated at work today, and it became very clear that they didn’t respect my work around there. And since I was gonna be resigning soon, I smiled at him and said, “You know what? Fuck it! I don’t care! Go for what you know. But, please, be careful.”
“I will, baby! And I promise, after I make this move, I am going to take your pretty ass on a cruise,” Seth assured me as he jumped to his feet.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I said as I watched him make a call from his cellular phone. I continued to sit there while he was engaged in his conversation. I could hear the excitement in his voice. After only a few words were exchanged, he hung up.
“I just got the ball rolling,” he told me, and then turned around to leave.
“Where are you going?”
“Those niggas just told me to come and holler at ’em.”
“What are you going to do about that job?”
“What do you mean?”
“Are you going to take it?”
“Yeah, ain’t shit changed about that.”
“OK,” I said.
After Seth dashed out of the kitchen, I sat there in disbelief. I mean, I couldn’t believe that I had just given him permission to go back to the streets and hustle. What in the hell was wrong with me? Was I insane? Or was I just plain fucking stupid? I did know that I loved the hell out of him. All I could do was hope I wouldn’t have to suffer the consequences for using my heart to make decisions where they concerned him.
SETH
Back To My Roots
As soon as Maxine gave me the go-ahead to get my grind back on, I hauled ass out the crib before she changed her mind. She was known for changing it at the drop of a hat, and I couldn’t afford to let her pull the plug on this one, because I had a lot at stake. Not only that, but I gave them niggas my word that I was coming into the fold, so I couldn’t turn back now. Once I revved up the engine on my money-green Dodge Magnum, I sped out of her neighborhood within a matter of seconds.
In the middle of my drive, I thought about what it was going to be like to be back on the grind. I knew that times had changed, so I wouldn’t be able to do the same shit I used to do back in the day. I also wondered what it was going to be like working for Mike and his right-hand man, Jay. I had only known these cats for a couple years. I met them both while we were all doing time at the federal camp in Petersburg, Virginia, and when we found out that we were from the same area, we started working out on the compound together. They got released about two years before I did, but Mike gave me his number and told me to look him up when I came home. I did. Now we were about to have a little reunion.
Before I would be able to catch up with them, I had to find out where they wanted to meet. I called Jay. “Ay yo, Jay,” I said the moment he answered. “Where you and Black want me to meet y’all?”
“Come out to Portsmouth.”
“Where at?”
“Meet us in Prentis Park.”
“Which side?”
“We gon’ be parked outside this white house on the corner of Lincoln and Richmond Avenue.”
“A’ight,” I said and hung up.
After twenty minutes of constant traffic, I finally made it to my destination. From the second I drove up and saw Mike posted up by his Hummer and Jay standing next to his 2008 Chrysler truck sitting on twenty-two inch rims, I knew shit was about to be on. Without hesitation, I got out of my car and joined them. I walked up and greeted Mike’s big, black, husky ass first. “What’s good, dawg?” I said, giving him the proper handshake.
“Just trying to make moves, son,” he told me, revealing a diamond bezel Chopard wristwatch.
The shit damn near blinded me, but I played it off like the shit didn’t faze me. I mean, how would I look, sweating that nigga’s shit? That’s some ol’ bitch move. After I let his hand go, I walked over to Jay and greeted him too.
“Ready to go to work?” Jay asked me.
Before I answered him, I looked at his tall, skinny, Puerto Rican-looking ass, dipped out in a three hundred-dollar pair of Red Monkey jeans with a brand spanking new white tee and a fresh pair of white Air Force Ones. The only piece of jewelry he had on was a gold rope with an iced-out cross dangling from the end of it. Jay wasn’t the flashy type of cat like Mike, but he wasn’t too far behind him.
“Yeah, I’m ready,” I finally said.
“A’ight. Well, follow us.”
I hit the alarm button on my key chain and followed Mike and Jay into the white house. From the outside, the shit looked run-down with the chipped paint and all. But on the inside, they had it kind of hooked up.
“Whose spot is this?” I asked.
“This is my girl Trina’s crib,” Mike said. “She don’t be here that much anymore since I got her a bigger spot out on Churchland.”
“Must be nice.”
“For her, it is. But you know I just brought my wife, Lacy, a crib out on Virginia Beach.”
“Yeah, I remember you telling me a while back. How is she?”
“She’s a’ight. Can’t wait till she drop that load. Shit, it feels like she’s been pregnant forever.”
“How many months is she?”
“Eight.”
“So, what y’all having?”
“As big as she is, she looks like she’s carrying two big-headed boys,” Jay interjected and laughed.
“Yeah, he ain’t lying. But she ain’t carrying nothing but one. When she had the ultrasound, they told her she was having a girl.”
I smiled. “That’s what’s up!”
“So, whatchu trying to get into?” Mike changed the subject while Jay disappeared into the room down the hallway.
“I was hoping you could hook me up with a couple pounds of weed.”
“Nigga, I ain’t got no weed! Shit, it’s been a drought for about four months now.”
“So, whatchu got?”
“I got whatever you can move.”
“Well, a’ight. Hit me off with a couple ounces of hard white.”
Mike laughed. “Ain’t nobody getting high off crack anymore. The fiends around here either use dope or powder.”
“Well, give me a couple ounces of powder.”
“Who do you know get high off powder?”
“Come on, man. You know I’ve been out of the loop for a while.”
“I know. That’s why I’m gon’ hit you off with a couple grams of dope. My shit is a missile, and all the fiends call it Black Label.”
“Man, you know I don’t know shit about heroin.”
“Don’t worry about all of that. Jay is in the back putting some shit together for you right now. As soon as he’s done, I want you to take it and go set up shop at my spot in Dales Homes. A chick named Melody is going to be waiting for you.”
“Who is she?”
“She’s just a Section 8 chick I fuck every now and again. I kick her a few dollars here and there, for letting me use her crib as one of my spots.”
“She got kids?”
“Yeah, she’s got a little boy, but he ain’t never there.”
“Good, ’cause I don’t like to do business around kids.” I noticed Jay walking back down the hallway. “Damn, nigga, I thought you got lost!” I commented and smiled.
He smiled back and said, “Nah, son, I was just trying to get you straight.”
“How many grams did you give him?” Mike asked.
“I broke off three from the egg,” Jay replied. He handed me a small, quart-sized Ziploc bag filled with a brown powder substance.
“What am I going to do with this? I don’t know how to bag this shit up!” I blurted out.
“Don’t worry about it. That’s Melody’s job. She’s going to put the shit in caps. When she’s done, she’s going to introduce you to my street team so they can start bringing the money to you. Believe me, when those niggas get the word out that you’ve set up shop with my dope, the fiends gon’ go crazy.”
“Just put it like this: I’m giving you this shit wholesale. So that means you gon’ make five dollars off every pill of dope you sell. So if you sell five hundred of them, I’m gonna hit you off with twenty-five hundred. It’s that simple.”
Smiling at the thought of instant success, I sighed and said, “Yo, son, give me the address to homegirl’s crib, because I’m ready to get this paper.”
Both Jay and Mike smiled back at me.
“I want you to call Jay if you happen to run out before he comes out there to check up on you,” Mike instructed me as he walked to the front door.
“A’ight,” I said as I followed him. Outside we exchanged a few more words and then parted ways.
After I pulled off, I got Maxine on the phone. “Hey baby, whatchu doing?”
“I just got out of the shower. What are you doing?”
“I’m on my way to go and take care of some business.”
Sounding a little worried, she said, “Please be careful.”
“Baby, I got this, so don’t worry about me. I’m going to be fine.”
“What time are you coming back this way?”
“I’m not sure. But I’ll let you know.”
“OK. But if I don’t hear from you soon, I’m gonna call you, all right?”
“That’s fine.”
“OK. Give me a kiss.”
She made kissing sounds into the phone. “I love you,” she told me.
“I love you too,” I replied.
I didn’t take me long to make the trip out to Dales Homes. It was only a hop, skip, and a jump from Prentis Park. When I drove past the sign that said, WELCOME TO DALES HOMES REDEVELOPING HOUSING AUTHORITY, I knew I was in ghetto heaven so I was going to have to go into street mode. Time to become the nigga I used to be before I caught my fed beef a while back. It was a known fact that you couldn’t be soft out there. You had to let those motherfucker’s know you meant business because if you didn’t, the fiends, the bitches, and the snitches would swallow your ass right on up. And I couldn’t have that. I had shit I had to do and a goal to make, so I was going to stay focused.
As I drove by the long row of one-floor apartment buildings made out of cream-colored stucco, with air conditioners posted up in one window of every house and surrounded by nothing but dirt and cement, I couldn’t imagine why those people wanted to live like that. The kids were playing outside in the dirt—I assumed they were making mud pies—while the cats made their trades a couple of feet away. The kids’ mothers were nowhere in sight. The whole scene was crazy. And I knew right then that I wasn’t going to be able to take much of it. The sooner I could get my dough up, the sooner I could kiss this place goodbye.
