“Just get in here,” I said, sighing, standing aside as they scrambled inside. “I was wondering why I didn’t see you two yesterday.”
“Oh, Alexis, you look fucking horrible,” Agnes stated, ignoring me.
Caroline threw her a dark look, then turned back to me. “We heard about Ryder getting into an accident, and after digging—”
“She means, we called your mom,” Agnes cut in.
Caroline threw her another dark look. “Anyway, that was how we heard you were there, too, and you got hurt. You’d left the hospital by the time we found out about everything.”
I sighed again, moving to the couch, and they both followed me. Agnes was chewing on her bottom lip, and Caroline’s hands were playing with the straps of her purse.
“I can tell the two of you are anxious,” I said, placing a hand on one of theirs, looking first at one, then the other. “I swear, that I’m doing just fine.”
“How can you be fine?” Agnes complained, moving to sit on the coffee table so I could see the both of them easier. “You were in a car accident! And you got admitted, even though it was only for a short while.”
“And more than that,” Caroline continued. “You were in an accident with Ryder, of all people. How did that happen?”
I grimaced. Even after what happened, I didn’t want to tell them about Ryder. A part of me didn’t want to think about him at all because I felt fucking guilty. There was no way I couldn’t feel responsible for what happened. When she brought me home and left me to rest alone, my mom had told me to forget blaming myself, but how could I? I didn’t have any updates on Ryder’s condition, but ‘spinal cord injury’ was enough to let me know that the situation was bad.
“I don’t know, Caroline,” I said, only half lying. “I just arrived, and he was there. Then he was trying to drag me outside, but I wouldn’t go because I could see he was drunk. But then he was going on his own, and I followed because I didn’t want him to be by himself. Somehow, I ended up in the car, and I was trying to get him to pull over when we crashed…”
My body shuddered just thinking about it. I remembered the moment I realized we were going to crash, and the fear I felt at that moment.
“Weren’t his friends with him?” Agnes asked, scowling. “They were there drinking with him. If they were going to help him get wasted, shouldn’t at least one of them have looked after him?”
“You can't just blame them,” I chided gently. “They were at a party! I’m sure they were all shocked when they got the news, too.” Then I frowned. “Wait, were they even told?”
It wasn’t easy for me and my mom to get information, and the bit we did get was from listening in on conversations. And I did see him for a moment. They called my mom for me, but who did they call for Ryder? His parents? His team? His coach?
Agnes was shaking her head. “I don’t know if anyone called them from the hospital, but at this point, they know. Ryder Russ isn’t just anyone, you know? It’s been all over the news since last night.”
“Ah,” I muttered, wincing. “I haven’t looked at the TV, so…”
“The hospital hasn’t given any statements yet,” Caroline explained. “They wouldn’t even confirm he was there, but there were eyewitnesses, so it couldn’t exactly stay hidden. They’ll probably say something soon.”
I sighed. “I doubt they’d announce his state, though.”
I frowned to myself. There was no way they would just tell me if I turned up at the hospital. Saying I was a former girlfriend wouldn’t be enough to sway them. How many women could show up at the hospital and say they were Ryder Russ’s girlfriend?
Do I have to, though? I do work there… I could just…
The thought was one I’d had since I left the hospital, and I was still a bit undecided.
Technically, his accident might not have even happened, if I had just never turned up at that party. Idiot me, I let my friends talk me into going. Hell, if I’d turned up earlier, it might have been better, anyway, because I might have met him before he got so drunk. And, if he’d been insistent on talking them, he might not have tried to drag me to his car with a clearer frame of mind.
I can't keep thinking about the what ifs, though. I should have stuck to my promise to leave him alone.
“We’re getting off topic, here,” Agnes said, suddenly. “Alexis, we didn’t come here to talk about Ryder, we came to talk about you. You were hurt, weren’t you?”
I shrugged. “Not too terribly. I mean, I passed out, but I don’t have a concussion, or if I do, it’s not much of one because I was prescribed some pain meds. I have some cuts here and there from the glass, but not anything too bad. I have a few aches, here and there, but they’ll be gone in days.”
“How long do you think you’ll be off work?” she continued.
I went still and blinked.
“Well, fuck,” I muttered, slapping a hand gently on my forehead. “I forgot all about asking about work. I can't believe I fucking forgot.”
“I’m sure they’d understand,” Caroline comforted, patting the back of my hand. “You were in an accident, after all. Just put in a call and explain everything.”
I nodded slowly as she spoke. “Do you think Noir would be lenient?” I murmured.
I had other important things to think about. I didn’t think I could get over the accident in a day, but I couldn’t let it rule me, either. I had work, my family, my friends, and other important shit to think about. I wouldn’t be able to stop worrying about Ryder, either, but there was nothing I could do about it.
My life would go on, and so would Ryder’s. Instead of stressing myself about what would happen, I could plan. And if I ever did get to see Ryder… I had to give him an apology. I turned to my friends.
“Do you guys mind spending the day with me? If I can get Noir to allow me time off? Not the whole day, just a few hours.”
They both nodded immediately.
“Of course!”
“Why else did you think we came here?”
I smiled gratefully at them, pushing my worries to the back of my mind as I picked up the phone, though I couldn’t help a final thought.
Please be okay, Ryder.
9
Alexis
The first day I arrived back at the hospital after being gone for two weeks was a bit crazy. Nothing new. I called Mom and Grandma to tell them that I arrived safely. I had promised to spend every other weekend off with them. They couldn’t keep me from them if they tried.
After I’d been on shift for a while, I ran into Gigi. She was one of the nurses I worked with on the ward. We never socialized outside of the hospital. It wasn’t that I disliked her, we were just indifferent.
“Alexis,” she acknowledged quietly.
“Oh hi, Gigi,” I replied.
Gigi looked around, hesitating, and then said, “When you finish up with your patient, come and meet me in the cafeteria for your break. You are due one in about five anyway. My shift just ended, so I’ll wait for you.”
I nodded.
We had worked side by side for about five years and not once had she ever asked me to coffee or vice-versa. It was weird, but my curiosity got the better of me, and I went to meet her. As I stood in the cafeteria like a lost sheep, she waved to me. She was seated with two cups of coffee. She had milk and sugar ready. I suppose I should have thanked her.
“You’re curious, right?’’
I nodded. Of course, I was, we had kept our conversations to simply talking about patient care or handing over notes as she started her shift and I ended mine for years. Now she was asking me to meet her for coffee. Of course, I was curious.
“Okay, I will cut to the chase. Noir is not happy with you. Have you seen her since you came back?”
I shook my head. “No, I haven’t seen Noir since I came on shift. I haven’t seen hardly anyone.”
My friends were usually my co-workers on the day shift, but they weren’t on my rotation today, so I thought it was odd.
I suspected that Gigi knew the answer to my unspoken question when she had asked if I had seen Noir.
“I hate that bitch. We all do. Anyway she made some changes.”
“Sure, I figured she would have to, because of the accident, but—”
She waved her hand in the air, and her big brown eyes shone as she leaned over the table. I pulled my chair closer. “Look, I have two kids at home waiting for me. I can’t afford to make this a long conversation. I didn’t want to make it obvious, so I bought the coffee.”
Shit, I never even knew she had kids.
“I appreciate that.” I was going to keep my responses short. She had something to say, and it was for my benefit, so I needed to listen and thank her for being kind enough to share it with me. I’d looked at the schedule and noticed that my normal co-workers were all assigned to the night shift, which I found strange, but I’d been too busy to send them a message to find out if they’d switched or if Noir changed them. She was notorious for doing that. As Gigi rightly said, Noir was a bitch. However, what that had to do with me, I had to wonder.
“Noir went through your file. I caught her doing it. That could only mean one thing. She is looking for shit on you. I don’t know why you taking time off to recover pissed her off, but it did. So I’m warning you, because I know you’ve been in and out of court a few times for those malpractice suits—”
“But those were dismissed.” I frowned.
“I know, but it only takes a word. Now, you get what I am saying, right? So, you do what you need to, to protect yourself. She pulled the same crap on Hayley, remember?’’
I nodded, my thoughts flying to Hayley. She had asked for some compassionate leave once her dad died. Noir refused, stating that it affected the rounds and then she went through her file. A hearing was called and before we knew it, not only was Hayley sacked, but she couldn’t work as a nurse again. That was the one thing about my field. It was not like being an accountant where you could get a job at a different firm.
Once a hospital sacked you for negligence, no one wanted that shit on their hands. Working at a hospital was so political, and it was all about the money. If a nurse had that on their file and there was a family suing them, most likely the family would win, and the hospital would be left with a big dent in their pocket.
They don’t come out directly and state that you cannot work in another hospital, but Hayley had more experience than I did, yet she couldn’t find work. You always need a reference, and when there was one saying fired due to negligence—well that was like putting a nail in your coffin. You were out of a job, a career, and everything else that you had worked so hard for.
Why is Noir allowed to do this?
Oh, it was all about politics. The woman could get away with murder, just because she went to the right medical functions and all that. She may not have gotten the grades to be a doctor, but she used other means to get what she wanted, and being married to one of the senior physicians helped her a long way too.
Why did I not apply to another hospital a long time ago?
Why did I stay here so damn long? Now, look at my fate.
I could have pinched or even slapped myself for being so naive. I knew how the industry worked. The politics, the money and all that, yet I turned a blind eye and made sure I turned up at my shifts and thought that was enough to stay ahead in the game.
“Look, I’ve got to go, but if I don’t see you tomorrow”— she looked sad as if she knew the answer to her statement—“which I don’t think I will, then good luck. It ain’t over till the fat lady sings. Remember that.”
Again I nodded.
She got up to go. She didn’t have to tell me. But she did, and I appreciated it. We had worked together for years, and I hugged her.
I said, “Thanks, and good luck to you too.”
She smiled, and part of me wished that we’d had a conversation before and we didn’t have to have coffee like this. But that was in the past. It was obvious what was going to happen next. I could no longer work in this hospital or any for that matter. My time here was done. Noir would force me out like she did Hayley. All I knew about Hayley was she had to take up private practice afterwards as a physiotherapist, after extensive training.
As I returned to the ward, my name was called out.
“Where have you been?” Noir asked as I entered.
I glanced down at my watch. “I am just coming back from my scheduled break—”
“You should have been back early, didn’t you take enough time off?” Noir glared at me. “I had to see to one of your patients.”
“My patients—”
“Are in need of your attention, now get back to work and don’t make me tell you again,” Noir declared.
Gigi’s warning had prepared me to face the worst, and I knew she was right. Noir was looking for any little thing to hang me up on. She was going to be rid of me, one way or another, but I had already decided what I was going to do.
10
Ryder
I woke up in the hospital, surrounded by doctors and nurses. My first thought was to panic, but I was too out of it for even that. Some Doc was saying some words I couldn’t make heads or tails of, and then I fell asleep.
When I woke up the second time, I still wasn’t alone. Only, this time, it was my teammates. Danny, a quarterback, and another running back, Steve. They were sitting on hard plastic seats, pushed against the wall. The moment they noticed I was awake, they got up, but didn’t move, just looking at me with caution on their faces.
Then everything came back to me from my disastrous night out—well, not everything, but enough—and the moment the room wasn’t spinning, or blurry, I was glaring at them.
“The fuck are you guys doing here?”
Their eyebrows shot up, and they looked at each other. They were so in sync; it looked practiced. Danny was the one to break the silence first.
“We came to see how you were doing.”
I scoffed, but didn’t say anything. I wasn’t sure what my teammates were doing here in Romeoville. The one that really should have been there was Craig, the guy who got me into this mess. So why were they there?
“Did Craig come by here?” I asked.
Again, they looked at each other, and I didn’t even need them to answer.
“Craig?” they both questioned.
“Nevermind. Of course, he didn’t,” I muttered.
The only reason I’d been drinking at that party was because of Craig and the rest of the guys from high school. If I’d just gone off and waited for Alexis on my own…
Fuck, Alexis… Not only did I get into an accident, but I dragged her into it, and I might have single-handedly finally ended my fucking career.
I sighed and threw an arm over my eyes. “If you guys don’t mind, could you leave? I’d like to be alone, please.”
There was silence, but the sound of a door opening and closing behind them as they left never came. I pulled my arm away, frowning. They looked unsure of themselves, standing in place and shifting on their feet. Any other time, I might have found their squirming funny, but the last thing I could do was laugh.
“Uh,” Steve started, not sounding confident at all. “We just wanted to see how you were doing, Ryder. You don’t have to act like you don’t want to see us.”
“The others would have come, but we didn’t want to overwhelm you. They’ll probably be by later.”
I just barely held back from snapping at them.
Fuck! Of course, I didn’t want to see any of them! They should have realized I was in a bad mood, after everything, and left me alone. They weren’t even really my friends, just my teammates. None of us had ever really been that close.
Instead of saying all that, I just sighed. “How long was I out for?” I asked.
Danny shrugged. “A few days.” Then his voice brightened. “But, hey, you’re going to be fine now, according to your doctor. You had to go in for surgery, but we heard you’re eventually going to mak
e a full recovery.”
“Yeah, man,” Steve added, smiling. “You have no idea how relieved everyone was when we got the news you’d live. We were all shocked to hear you were in an accident in the first place. I mean, we thought you were…well…” he trailed off and paused for a moment, letting it die. “Everyone’s just glad you’re okay.”
“We’ve been coming to stay with you in small groups,” Danny continued, moving closer to the bed. “We try not to leave you alone, though we all get kicked out at the end of visiting hours.” He turned to Steve, snapping his fingers. “We should let the other guys know he’s awake.”
Steve nodded quickly. “I can't believe I forgot. Just give me a bit, they don’t allow phones in here,” he said before rushing out the door, leaving me alone with Danny.
I watched as he went back to the chair he’d been sitting on, and dragged it closer to the edge of the bed. All I could do was stare. I had so much I needed to ask, but I was afraid of the answers I’d get. Danny might not know much, even Steve, but they might know enough to be devastating.
What is my current condition?
I was alive, and that was good. A part of me was even happy about it, but the greater part of me was still struggling with shock and anger. I remembered waking up to a doctor talking to me before, and I wished I remembered what he’d been saying.
They said I was in surgery, but for what? Just how badly was I injured? Would I still be able to play regardless?
Those were my most pressing questions.
Because I needed to fucking play. And not because I loved the game; it was a fucking career and the only way I earned my keep. Now of all times, to lose my ‘job’ and have to start from scratch would be fucking hell for me.
Only a few people knew—not the media, and not my family of course—but I had a lot of money I needed to pay out. I’d gotten into some trouble over the last few years, it wasn’t so much anything I was currently doing, but the things I’d gotten involved in back then. I’d somehow managed to keep it all mostly in the dark, but this…
Second Chance Draft Page 4
