And that had been the crushing blow. The end of my career as a star football player. Because let’s face it, once you’re released from your contract, it’s damn hard getting back on a team. I’d be lucky to play flag football in a year at this rate. And with that thought, I sank even deeper into depression. I wish I had just died in that accident.
13
Alexis
I had no idea what to do with myself when I left the hospital that afternoon. But as I was leaving, I ran into Ryder’s dad. “Mr. Russ!”
“Oh, Alexis, how are you? Are you all right?” Mr. Russ asked as I approached.
“I’m doing better, Mr. Russ, thank you.”
“I know Ryder has been rather surly, so I am sure he did not apologize, so let me do that for him.”
“You don’t have to—”
“I do. Especially since I’d like to ask a favor.” He looked at me as we walked toward the parking lot.
“Of course, anything I can do,” I agreed, hoping to assuage my guilt.
“I’m bringing Ryder home tomorrow and he’s going to need care, do you think… I’d pay you of course,” he started.
I took only a moment to consider it. “I’d be happy to, Mr. Russ. And it just so happens I was about to look for a new positon, so your timing is fortuitous.” I smiled.
“Thank goodness, and thank you. Just come on by tomorrow morning and we’ll get it all worked out,” he said and shook my hand before turning toward his car.
As I made my way home, I thought about it. If I took care of Ryder and maybe changed his life around, maybe that was all I needed to stay in the profession that I had always dreamed about. Maybe all I needed was to move away from hospitals. There were too many maybes and not enough certainty, but something had to work.
The next morning I nervously approached Ryder’s bed, but he was sleeping. I shouldn’t have given a shit about him, not after the way he’d spoken to me the other day, but I was soft hearted, and still felt guilty for not talking him out of getting into his car and driving. So I did what I was meant to do, checked his vitals and cleaned him up and then left him to sleep. It was probably the best thing for him, at least for now.
The next time I entered his room, I wanted Ryder to know I was there, so I whispered as I got close to him, “Ryder.”
His lips were so close. His breathing was light, and then he surprised me as it changed and he opened his eyes.
Had he been pretending to sleep?
“Where’s Dad?” he mumbled as I was taken aback.
After the last time we’d spoken I had expected something, anything, but not: ‘Where’s Dad?’
“Downstairs.” I cleared my throat. “Did you want something?”
He shook his head. “No, just wondered if he was about. Are you okay?”
I smiled. He was on a bed monitors strapped to him, and he was asking if I was okay. “Fine.” I didn’t mean to be so short, but I wasn’t sure what to say. “Can I get you anything?’’
He shook his head. I started to wonder if he felt as uncomfortable as I did. He seemed nervous. His heart rate picked up and then his hands started moving as if he wanted water or something.
“Do you need a drink? Or the TV or something? Your hands are moving.” My smile fell as he seemed to stare at them, concentrating and they stopped moving.
“Damn,” he whispered and then looked back up at me. “No, I am just tired.”
I took the hint and walked away. As I did, I heard the heart rate monitor’s beeping slow down. I made him feel nervous. I didn’t mean to. His reaction toward me was not what I’d expected. I didn’t expect him to care, let alone ask how I was doing after our last conversation. I certainly didn’t think he would want to see me or even act nervous in my presence.
I’d expected him to start cussing or something. I nodded my head as I took one last look at him and closed the door. Ryder had just confirmed what I was thinking and debating about all along. He wasn’t damaged, he was simply broken. I was going to fix him if it was the last thing I did in this field. I went to bed knowing that tomorrow was going to be a better day. A much brighter one.
14
Ryder
I couldn’t fucking believe it. My ears were still ringing from what Dad had just told me.
“You are going to listen, and you are going to listen good,” Dad said as he came closer to the bed.
All I could do was nod, it wasn’t like I could get up and leave. I was trapped, in this bed, in this house, in this fucking town.
“After all you’ve fucking done to that girl, Alexis has been kind enough to agree to take care of you while you recover. So you will fucking listen to her and do as she says. Do you hear me, Ryder?”
Just the thought of her being the one to turn me over, stick a tube on my cock or even in my butt cause I couldn’t fucking move, had me pissed off. I hated not having control. I couldn’t do anything but talk and move my head. That was the only movement I could make. My body just would not cooperate. “But, Dad, couldn’t you have found someone—”
“No. Now shut up and listen.”
I closed my mouth for once in my life, and I listened.
“You fucking owe that woman. Don’t think I didn’t know she was in that accident with you,” he rasped as he got closer. “And how you managed to get her in that car with you is beyond me! So stupid, Ryder! You’ve been damn lucky that your coach took care of that last matter for you. You do realize she could fucking sue you, right?”
I held my breath, as I knew he had more to say on the subject.
“Alexis’s a fucking angel even considering doing this. She was an angel back in high school and still is, you never should have let her go. Probably would have kept you from half the shit trouble you’ve gotten into over the last few years. And yeah, I am aware of the lawsuit, non-disclosure or not. Your coach came by and told me what was what. You’re damn lucky they aren’t suing you either for breach of contract! And don’t even get me started on the fucking drug use and the fact that you’d only been out of rehab a few months when you pull this shit!”
Dad didn’t swear much. In fact, not at all. So, I knew that if I didn’t buckle down, I would be out. He’d disown me and refuse to help. A chill went down my spine at the idea that had I not gotten help before, I would have snorted most of my money up my nose. Lost my house. Lost my car, my career, everything. And then that girl… I sighed.
My house and car were the only sound investments I’d made with my money. So much money. They practically throw it at you to get you to sign on the dotted line. And for someone like me, all that money was just a temptation waiting to happen. And the temptations had been extreme.
“My whole point is, don’t be treating Alexis like shit or even behave like an asshole. She is going to be looking after you, treat her nicely.”
Easy for him to say. This whole thing was humiliating. I had wanted to get her back in my life, but this was not what I’d intended. Back in high school, Alexis had been everything that I wasn’t. Confident, and intelligent, sexy and beautiful. She’d aced exams like nothing. It had been just her and her mom and grandmother. They hadn’t had much, her mom worked all the time. Kids mocked her clothes. She ignored them. I hated that she’d been subjected to that.
But, I had done everything to be the bad kid in town, and I had a crowd following because of that. I needed the approval of others to think I was bad just to fit in. Sure I was the quarterback, but it wasn’t enough to be the star of the football team. No, I had to build this badass reputation. Drinking and smoking, hanging with Craig and the guys doing shit we shouldn’t have. When I asked her out, it was just to see if I could. Surprised the hell out of me she’d said yes. After a few dates, I stopped doing a lot of the shit stuff, I wanted to be good enough for her. Funnily enough, my game improved too. Then Prom happened and…
“Dad, I promise I will be on my best behavior,” I muttered the words because the more I was thinking about this whole situation, the
more my head hurt. At least I wouldn’t need her to get a bedpan. The bad thing was I had a fucking tube on my cock for that. She would have to change it. The thought that this was what my life had come down to, sucked.
“I need to go to Vegas for work. I am not sure how long I will be gone.”
“Didn’t you just come back?” I asked, thinking I had to get well. I had to get out of this bed and at least to a wheelchair. The best thing would be to walk again. The doctors made it clear that I could make a full recovery, but that it would take time.
“I had to cut my last trip short to be here for you. Now that Alexis is here, I have to go back.”
“When do you fly out?”
I hoped he would say next week or even next month—that would be even better. Maybe by then, I could sit up. He could help me, then I wouldn’t need Alexis for all the personal stuff.
“Tomorrow.” He sighed as he started for the door. “The sooner all of this mess is sorted the better. I am going to lie down for a while. If you need me, you know what to do.”
I was hungry, but I wasn’t going to tell him that. I had to have space. This newsflash was sending me into all sorts of panic.
My mind drifted to the accident I’d had a year ago. I’d had every intention of killing myself when I drove into that car. I’d gotten the news about that girl in the latest scandal. The lawsuit Coach was paying off with my bonus money for me. I didn’t even remember her name. Hell, I didn’t even remember meeting her! She claimed I raped her. At first, she’d only said we had sex, but then when she couldn’t blackmail me with that and the pictures she supposedly had, she started making accusations of rape. She had fucking changed her story completely, saying she was underage which made it rape and would go to the press with the pictures she had. I took it to Coach and he and the team lawyers got involved. She’d wanted money, like every bitch that I seemed to come into contact with since Alexis left me; they knew I was fucked up and took advantage. So, hence the lawsuit. The girl and I both signed nondisclosure agreements, and she got her fucking money and the lawyers got the pictures and negatives. The ‘accident’ had been ruled just that, an accident. Nobody was injured, thank goodness, just bad luck and a slick roadway from the rain.
Why does everything in my life turn to shit?
I tried to sleep, but I couldn’t—hunger was twisting my stomach into knots. I hated the idea of waking up Dad. If he were still sleeping then maybe Alexis would come in. I wasn’t ready to face her again, so I just lay there looking around.
I was in my old room. It had a bathroom en-suite and the walls that used to be covered with posters and football memorabilia were now sterile. There was no color or anything to the room. The only saving grace was it had a window, but the bed was nowhere near it. I knew that it faced the garden, if I could just look out of it, I’d see it. The furniture consisted of a closet, a wall-sized television, and all my monitors. Even the room I’d had in the hospital had pictures on the wall.
I hadn’t heard anything in this part of the house, and I was starting to wish Alexis would just show up anyway. I really was hungry.
15
Alexis
Ryder, would you please just eat?”
I was down to pleading. I sat on a chair beside Ryder’s bed, a tray of food that he was supposed to be eating on my lap, because I was afraid he might spill it. He’d done it the past few times I’d brought food for him, and I got tired of cleaning it up. For a guy who couldn’t move, he sure could bump the shit out of a tray. He never apologized either. Just stared at me defiantly as he refused to eat.
He couldn’t eat on his own, and I knew he was pissed off about it. I’d been tasked with helping him with all his basic needs, and I knew he didn’t like it, but it was fucking frustrating that he stopped eating just because of that.
There were people that would kill for this, I thought at him angrily. But he was my patient, and I knew better than to say it out loud. He was already difficult, and I didn’t doubt that he could be even worse.
I sighed when even my pleading got nothing out of him. “Come on, Ryder,” I coaxed. “It’s actual food, not the stuff you get at the hospital. And it’s good; I’m sure you’ll love it.”
He gave me a look of disdain. “You ate before your patient, Alexis? Isn’t that hypocritical?”
I winced, but straightened my back and frowned. “I need to eat, too. And I came here beforehand, and you refused to eat.”
“So you want to sample the food then come and advertise its greatness to me,” he muttered, sarcastic.
I rolled my eyes and decided not to reply.
The idiot wouldn’t even open his mouth, so the best I could do was smear it around his mouth, and he’d just glare at me then.
“Just fucking go away already,” he muttered. “I don’t feel like eating; I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine,” I snapped. I didn’t mean to, but I was running out of patience. I pressed my lips together as he raised his eyebrows at me.
“Well, thanks, for assuming you know my body better than I do right now, Alexis. Seriously, just fucking leave me alone, would you? It’s annoying.”
I took a deep breath and held it in, then released it slowly as I tried to keep my temper. Even with the history between us, I couldn’t let myself forget that I was working for him at the moment. I narrowed my eyes at him, but he wouldn’t budge.
He had his arms crossed over his chest and a fierce scowl aimed at me. I might have even been afraid of it if his skin wasn’t so pale and there weren’t bags under his eyes, which were red and puffy. He looked like he either hadn't slept in days or was high on some drug or booze. In other words, he looked like shit, but I doubted pointing it out would get him to do anything about it. It would probably just be one more thing for him to get mad at, and currently, being the one person that spent the most time with him, I would bear the brunt of his irritation.
There was no way I could just walk away, though, no matter how much he tried to chase me away, and he tried every time. I was his primary caretaker, and I took my job very seriously.
“You know I can't-do that, Ryder,” I said, frowning as I clenched my hands on the edges of the tray. “Do you even know the last time you ate, Ryder? You’re supposed to be recovering, you know? If you don’t let me take care of you, then that won’t be happening.”
Ryder just sneered at me, looking unconcerned. “Isn’t that your job, nurse? You’re supposed to get me back on my feet, right? So fucking do it already. I’ll tell you this for the last time, Alexis, stop trying to baby me.”
Fuck! I sighed and slumped back into the chair. How did the fucker expect me to stop treating him like a child, when all he acted like was a child?
I wasn’t sure what it was, he wouldn’t say, but Ryder had taken to being extremely difficult since my first day working with him. It was hard putting up with his stubbornness. And if he wouldn’t even let me do my job, I’d have to tell his dad and the doctor, and I had a feeling he wouldn’t appreciate it if I did that either.
Whatever I chose in the end, I lost in some way.
“Aren’t you even just a little hungry?” I asked, voice still quiet and pleading.
Maybe…maybe I’m not the right person for this job.
I winced. I finally let myself think it. When I took on this job, I’d expected challenges, and I was prepared to meet them head-on. This, though… I was starting to think it might just be out of my league. And just like with my relationship with Ryder, I had a habit of running away from things I thought were out of my league.
Who the fuck would look after him, though?
This bastard! How the fuck was I supposed to help him if he wasn’t even going to meet me half way? At this rate, he would die. Then what was the point of living through that stupid accident?
“Can you at least drink some water?” I asked. “Or some juice or something if I brought it to you?”
He arched an eyebrow. “Can you get me a beer?”
/> I scowled. “Alcohol isn’t allowed, Ryder. Haven’t you had enough of that shit already?”
He sneered. “Then, no thanks.”
My hands were clenched so tight, if the tray wasn’t made of wood, I might have broken it. I just calmly put it aside and stood up.
“If you’re not going to eat, do you want to sleep? I can help you lay back down—” my hands were already reaching for him as I spoke, but I froze when he cut me off, flailing a hand in my direction and I gasped. He’d moved his hand again, but I didn’t think calling attention to it would be appreciated at that moment.
“No!” he snapped, glaring. “I can do it just fine on my own. You can leave now, Alexis.”
I didn’t though. A part of me was understanding. Ryder wasn’t the kind of guy that would take well to lying helpless in bed, unable to do anything himself. That, however, didn’t change the fact that he still needed my help, whether he liked it or not.
Still, I stood to the side and watched him, just like he’d made me watch while he sat himself up. Though that ended up being for nothing, anyway.
Once he was lying down, he turned his head away from me, and I assumed, fell asleep. That was happening a lot, too, Ryder just slipping in and out of consciousness. He was asleep more than he was awake these days and coupled with the not eating, it was a bad sign. He couldn’t get out of bed, regardless, but that he just chose to do nothing worried me.
I picked up the tray and took it back to the kitchen. What was I supposed to tell his dad? He asked about Ryder’s progress on occasion, particularly when he couldn’t make it in to check up on him himself. What if he thought I wasn’t capable and looked for someone else?
Second Chance Draft Page 6
