She has got to be fucking kidding me, I fume. If Nancy thinks her threats will keep me away from Aislinn, she’s got another thing coming. Nothing will ever stop me from seeing her. That girl asleep on my bed is not only my best friend; she’s my reason for breathing.
“Cut the shit and spit it out,” my dad surprisingly interjects.
“I want him out of my kids’ life. For good,” she sneers.
Gripping the wood around the doorway so hard it creaks, I spit,
“Never. I’m not leaving her, so if that’s all,” I growl, gesturing to the door.
Nancy crosses her arms over her chest and smiles another one of her yellow stained teeth smiles.
“Not so fast, kid. Your dad knows as well as I do what the punishment is for sleeping with a minor, so might want to reconsider your answer before you do something you’ll regret later.”
“Jesus, can you fucking hear yourself?” I ask bitingly. “The only reason Aislinn is even here is because it’s not safe for her to be at home. Those men you bring around her all want one thing from her, and it’s not for her to cook them breakfast. It’s probably escaped your notice considering you don’t give a shit about anyone but yourself, but Aislinn is exceptionally beautiful, so it doesn’t take a genius to work out what all those assholes want.”
“Shut up,” she snarls, taking a step closer to me wagging her finger in my face. “You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. She’s just a kid.”
“Yeah, you think?” I return sarcastically. “Aislinn stopped being a kid three years ago when I had to go with her to buy tampons because she got her period for the first time and didn’t have the first fucking clue what to do.”
I probably shouldn’t be sharing this, but I can’t help myself. I’ve been silently stewing on every fuck up of Nancy’s in regards to her daughter for more than a decade, and its high time she knows just how badly she’s screwed up with her only child.
“Jesus, Dex,” Dad hisses through his teeth. “You don’t know when to keep your mouth shut, do you?”
Glaring at him, I turn my anger on Nancy where it belongs and let it have free rein.
“What about the time you were dating that scumbag, Phil and he thought it was okay to slap Aislinn around while you were out looking for your next fix, did you know about that? Then there was the time, Jimmy, the newest asshole in a long line of them, decided to feel her up. But did Aislinn tell you? No, she didn’t, but she did tell me. And do you want to know why? Because she knew you wouldn’t believe her. Aislinn knew you’d blame that shit on her, and that would only make her life harder.”
“Fucking hell,” Dad growls.
Followed by Nancy shrieking,
“Jimmy wouldn’t do that. He loves me.”
Rolling my eyes at her stupidity, I rock back on my heels.
“If he loves you, then why is he touching your fifteen-year-old daughters’ chest?” Pointing my thumb back toward my bedroom, I add, “She’s fucking terrified of him, Nancy. While you stand here and try to make Aislinn staying with me something it isn’t, your daughter is in there sleeping properly for the first time since you brought that guy into her life. It took me over three hours to get her to settle down enough to sleep for a few hours last night. That goes for the night before, the night before that, and the one before that too.”
“She’s lying,” Nancy denies, unflinching at the knowledge her boyfriend has designs on her kid. “Aislinn has always been an attention whore, and this is no different. I don’t know what she’s told you, but Jimmy barely looks at her when he’s over.”
This woman is delusional because even I’ve seen him leering at Aislinn when he thinks no one’s looking.
“She’s not, and you know it. I don’t care what you do with your life, but I won’t sit by and see Aislinn’s ruined by your fucked up choices in men.”
Stomping her way to the door and throwing it open, Nancy whirls in Dad’s direction, her eyes filled with hate, and something else I’m too afraid to say out loud.
“Talk to your, kid, and tell him what we decided on. I’ll expect an answer by this afternoon or I’ll be back with the police this time.”
After Nancy slams the door, my dad goes to the fridge, gets himself a beer and drops onto the torn, worn out couch.
“What did she mean by that last comment, dad?” I demand.
Dad swallows half his beer in one gulp, facing me with an expression filled with something I don’t see a lot from him. Remorse.
“Nancy and I have a deal,” he mutters. “I made a mistake a while back, and in return for keeping it to herself, Nancy’s asked me to do her a favor.”
“Let me guess, this favor has to do with me and Aislinn,” I state, hitting the nail on the head.
“Yeah, boy, it does.”
“You know that’s not going to happen, right? She’s my best friend, and the only woman other than mom I give a shit about. I’m not abandoning her dad, so whatever this deal is, you’re going to have to back out of it.”
“Sorry, Dex, but I just can’t do that. Not even for you,” he replies quietly. “If this gets out, it’ll ruin your mother, and I can’t do that to her.”
Clenching my jaw hard enough to chip a few of my molars, I growl,
“And what about me? What about Aislinn? Does it matter if your fucked deal ruins either of us?”
Finishing his first beer, he goes for another.
“It won’t ruin you to be separated from her, boy. You think it will now, but you’re wrong. You’ll be off to college soon, and when you’re there, you’ll meet other girls. Aislinn will be fine here, I’ll even look in on her from time to time for you if it makes you feel better.”
“Do you know what would make me feel better?” I snap, towering over him. “If everyone would leave us both the fuck alone. I’ve been taking care of Aislinn for years without anyone else’s help, why so interested now? I know there’s more to this than you’re letting on, so just get on with it already.”
Without hesitation, Dad grumbles,
“I got myself into some trouble with a local bookie. Not in deep, but it’s bad Dex. We could lose everything if I don’t hold my end of this deal up. I know how you feel about her, anyone can see you love the girl, but please, Dex, I’m asking for your mom’s sake and mine, back off for a while. I’m not saying forever, just long enough that Nancy will consider my debt paid in full.”
“You’ve got to be shitting me,” I hiss. “Are you seriously asking me to stay away from her, leave Aislinn alone with her mom and the pig she’s dating because you fucked up and got yourself into debt?”
Nodding, he drops is head to study his feet.
“We need the money, Dex. If you refuse, the marker has to be paid, and Jimmy isn’t going to take it in installments.”
“Did you say, Jimmy? The bookies name is, Jimmy?” My head is pounding, and I pray I heard him wrong.
“That’s him. Nancy boyfriend, Jimmy,” Dad confirms. “So you see now why I need you to help me out, yeah?”
“Oh, I see alright,” I seethe, my voice filled with barely restrained anger. “Still, the answer is no.”
“Dex,” Dad groans. “I didn’t want to tell you this way, but you’re not leaving me with much of a choice. Your mom’s sick. Real sick.”
Furrowing my eyebrows, I tilt my head to the side and study him to see if he’s lying. Dad’s posture is rigid, but the grief and concern in his eyes warn me this isn’t a ploy. My mom is actually sick.
“You know she’s been tired for weeks, not eating much, and throwing up all the time so I took her to the doc for some tests. They came back last week. She’s got cancer, son,” he tells me.
I can’t say anything. I’m frozen to the spot, and the words are trapped in my throat. My dad doesn’t have the same problem, though, but he wouldn’t. They’ve known about this for a week, a whole seven days, and neither of them thought to tell me.
“Even if I had it, the money I owe Jimmy th
at is, we need it for your mom’s medication. It’s only stage two now, so her doc is going to try chemo pills before making her go to the hospital to get the high dose stuff through an IV. That shit doesn’t come cheap, Dex. It’ll bleed us dry as it is, and that’s without paying Jimmy back. Nancy got him to agree to forgive what I owe if you stay away from Aislinn, so I’m asking you, for your mom’s sake, do the right thing here, son.”
This is an impossible decision. I love my mom, she’s not the best mother by a long shot, but I love her in spite of that. But saving her means sacrificing Aislinn, and honestly, I don’t know if I can do that.
Thinking fast, I consider all of the alternatives, but apparently I underestimated Nancy because she thought of them too.
“No contact,” my dad mumbles. “That’s one of the conditions. No calls, letters, texts, emails, and no seeing each other. Nothing.”
“You get we go to the same school, don’t you?” I spit acidly. “It’s impossible not to see each other.”
Shaking his head sadly, dad replies,
“I called the high school over on Elm to see if we could get you transferred. They said with your grades, attendance record, and aptitude they’d take you.”
“Jesus, dad,” I groan, dropping my head into my hands. “Forget me for a second and think about Aislinn. Jimmy is a fucking pervert. He already tried and was partially successful in feeling her up, what happens to her if I up and change schools, never to see her again? Nancy’s not going to take care of her. You heard her, she doesn’t even believe it happened, meaning she won’t protect Aislinn from it happening again.”
“I thought about that when Nancy was giving me her terms,” he states thoughtfully. “That’s why I told her that I’d be checking in on Aislinn, and if I found out she was being hurt, I let her know I’d tell you, and the deal would be off.”
Ignoring that, I state the obvious.
“And where am I supposed to live? She’s right next door, dad. It’s not like I can pretend she doesn’t exist. This is going to crush, Aislinn so you better believe she’ll be around here banging on the door every five minutes demanding answers until she gets them.”
Dad has an answer for everything, volleying,
“Your Aunt Maxine knows your mom’s sick and offered to take you in. She agrees the side effects to the meds your mom is going to be taking isn’t something you should have to see.”
They really did think of everything, didn’t they?
“How am I supposed to tell her?” I whisper, fighting back the tears building behind my eyes.
“Fuck me,” dad exhales. “I’m sorry, kid, so fucking sorry but you’re not.”
My head snaps up as I say,
“Excuse me?”
“You’re not. That was the last of Nancy’s conditions. She doesn’t want Aislinn to know why you left or where you went. She thinks if Aislinn knows, she’ll hold onto the hope you’ll be back.”
As Aislinn should because I will be back. I may be considering this bullshit, but I’d never stay gone from her life forever. That is simply not an option.
“How long?” I demand brokenly.
“At least until she graduates high school.”
“Then your debt will be considered paid in full,” I confirm.
“Yeah, son,” he nods cautiously. “Then it’s done.”
With nothing more to say, I turn my back on my dad with the intention of climbing back into bed with Aislinn for what will be the last time, but when I get there, she’s gone. My bed is empty, the sheets are cold, and I just know she heard us talking. How much, I don’t know, but enough to have her risking her safety fleeing into the cold.
I didn’t see Aislinn again after that night. Not for two long, torturous years.
A lot of shit happened to me during those years I was without her, and I slowly changed into the man I am today. A man I’m not proud of – a man she would hardly recognize – but I kept my promise to myself and went back for Aislinn when my dad’s debt was repaid. However, what I found wasn’t the girl I left.
In Aislinn’s place was a walking, talking, breathing replica of the girl I’ve been in love with since I knew the meaning of the words, but at the same time, she was completely different. Gone was the funny, sweet, sarcastic teenager who was more beautiful than anyone had the right to be, and in her place I watched a withdrawn, skittish, broken woman who is still the most stunning woman I’ve ever seen.
I won’t lie, I watched her for a long time before I came to the decision not to go to her. Seeing the way Aislinn’s steps faltered as she walked past my old trailer, nearly undid me, but I held firm. For her, not for me.
Don’t ask me how I knew Aislinn wouldn’t welcome me back with open arms, I just did. The slump of her shoulders, the way her head hung limply with her hair covering most of her face was enough to know that if I approached her, it wouldn’t end well, and the last thing I wanted was to hurt her anymore so I remained hidden.
It almost killed me, and there were more times than I could count that I wanted to go to her, take her in my arms, and promise her I’d make everything better. But I didn’t, and that’s something I’ll regret for the rest of my life.
What I did do was come back. Every Friday, I drove the fifty miles from where I was living to the trailer park to watch her, and every time I did, my heart broke a little more until there was finally nothing left of it.
Aislinn never saw me, I made sure of that. Sometimes I thought I’d been caught when she would turn to look over her shoulder as I trailed her through the woods, but if she did see me, Aislinn didn’t let on.
My breaking point, the reason I finally left and never came back happened during a conversation with my mom after she was confirmed to be in remission. The cancer had kicked my mom’s ass. She was thinner than she’d ever been, her skin was still pale even twelve months after she’d finished chemo, and her hair was only just starting to grow back in properly. Regardless of how horrible it was to see her suffer like that, one good thing did come from it; both my mom and my dad stopped drinking.
The day the doctors told mom she couldn’t drink alcohol while undergoing treatment, they both got their shit together and stopped. It wasn’t easy. Dad had to be admitted to a rehab facility because of one too many times falling off the wagon, and mom’s detox was hell on her seeing as she was still going through it when the chemo medication kicked in. But they did it. Two years, three weeks, and six days they’ve been clean.
“Dex,” mom murmured, grabbing my attention.
This was one of my regular Friday afternoon visits where I’d see mom first, and then stalk – albeit I like to call it, follow to keep an eye on – Aislinn until she is safely home from school.
Squeezing both my hands in hers, mom implored,
“You have to let her go so that she can move on. Aislinn isn’t the girl you left two years ago; she hasn’t been since the night that woman came here and made her demands.”
I hadn’t known my mom knew about Nancy’s visit, and it must show on my face because mom gives me a sad smile, confirming,
“I heard it all, Dex, and so did Aislinn.” At my sharp intake of breath, she continues. “Aislinn knocked on my door while you and her mother were arguing and apologized for causing trouble. She said you would be worried that she’d left but to tell you she would be fine. It broke my heart to see her cry, but she wouldn’t let me comfort her. All she kept saying over and over again was that she would be okay. Everything would be okay.”
“Mom,” I groan, pleading for her to stop or keep going, I don’t know which.
“I hear her, Dex,” she whispers, tears of her own tracking down her cheeks. “At night, I hear her cry herself to sleep. That’s why you have to stop coming here. Aislinn knows every time you’ve been here because she comes to visit me right after you leave. I’ve taken to letting her sit in your old room when your father isn’t here because it gives her some peace for a little while, but it has to stop, Dexter. She d
oesn’t talk much, doesn’t ask questions or beg me to tell her where you are, but when I can get a word out of her, she tells me she’s glad you got out.”
It hurts knowing that Aislinn doesn’t ask about me, but some small part of me understands why she doesn’t.
“I can’t stay away, mom. I’ve tried. Every time I leave I tell myself, I won’t come back, that I’ll ask you and dad to come visit me instead. All week I keep saying, not this time, but then I make it to Thursday, and I know I won’t be able to do it.”
Vengeance MC Box Set - Volume 2: Gage ~ Cash ~ Knight (Vengeance MC series Book 8) Page 3
