by Ann Hunter
Hillary sighed. "It matters to Carol."
Alex leveled her gaze over their heads. She was pretty sure crickets were chirping.
"Is there anything you'd like to say for yourself?" Hillary finally asked.
The silence continued a moment longer before Alex frowned. "Moo."
Hillary pinched a crease above the bridge of her nose, eyes squeezed shut. She shook her head and looked up. "I fully expect you to apologize to Carol the next time you see her. I'm going upstairs to shower. North's having his annual Kentucky Derby party this afternoon."
The look on Alex's face was enough for Hillary to add, "Yes, you have to go."
Alex groaned.
"And shower too. We love our horses, but I can smell you from across the kitchen. Also, I made breakfast smoothies. The pitcher's in the fridge."
Alex kicked forward from the door and saluted her. Hillary shook her head again and went up the stairs. Both girls watched her go.
Laura turned her head to look at Alex. "What's eating you?"
Alex crossed to the fridge to fetch the smoothie slop. She poured the purple gloop into a glass and glugged down the first little bit. Setting the glass down, she leaned against the counter, drumming her fingers along the edge of it. "Flying purple monkeys."
Laura gave her an ironic half smile. "You know what I mean. Brooke's been down, and you've been extra…."
Alex took another swallow of the smoothie, then swished the glass around. "Extra what?"
Laura pursed her lips and kind of wiggled them around, the way you might with mouth wash. "Alexy."
"Alexness. Alexy. Why am I a thing to you people?"
"Your attitude. It's getting a bit much."
Alex set her glass down and crossed her arms. You people are a bit much.
Laura rose from her chair. "Something's going on between you and Brooke. Something more than just a yearling headed toward the sales ring."
Alex had never been in Mr. North's manor before. She tried not to let her eyes go wide or jaw slack as she took it all in. The outside of the place looked like one of those houses you see in pictures about the Old South with big white columns and a porch that probably went around the house a full mile. She wondered if the KFC guy ever drank lemonade in a rocking chair on it.
Alex stood behind behind Cade, Laura, and Hillary who proffered a bowl of weird green coconut marshmallow jello fluff to Mr. North's wife, Amber. She welcomed Alex and the Showmans inside and guided them down a wooden floor so highly polished, Alex could see her reflection in it. She almost had an impulse to tiptoe across it. Almost. If not for being distracted by spotless cream walls dotted with cool old paintings of horses and jockeys.
The hall opened on to a room with comfy arm chairs, too nice to sit in, Alex noted; a dark walnut-colored coffee table that probably weighed about as much as Promenade with an arc of Bloodhorse magazines and one or two thick books on the history of racing across it, and a rustic fireplace mantled with gleaming golden trophies across the way. Above the trophies were a few winners circle photos with horses and jockeys in North Oak's colors.
But that wasn't a quarter of the house. Right turn this way, left turn that. Down a hall. Around a corner. Alex was sure this place went on forever. It just. Didn’t. End.
At last when she was sure she'd be lost in this place forever, swallowed whole along with the Showmans, they traveled down a staircase. Alex couldn’t believe it had a downstairs too. Jeez.
Not just a downstairs, but into a room that practically looked like a movie theater.
A long table covered in linen beneath piles of snacks and drinks lined both walls. Hillary set her giant jello bowl down and she and her family started loading their plates with chips and cold cuts and, well, Alex lost count of everything after the cheese.
At the far end of the table were short, wide crystal glasses, the kind with chiseled diamond shapes in the side, filled with ice a pale tan liquid, and mint leaves.
Alex reached for one and promptly found her hand swatted aside. Hillary gave her one of her best stink eyes that made it clear it was not meant for the kids.
Joe sidled up out of nowhere and took two, drowned one, and grabbed a third with a wink and scoundrelly mirth.
Alex looked at him sideways. Since when did that old man ever smile? She quickly found Brooke glowering at him from the corner of the room.
Hillary and Cade took their plates and settled in to chat with a couple of the grooms, while Laura took off once a tall young man with sandy blonde hair entered. Alex found herself alone.
She watched Laura flip her hair and bat her eyes at the young man, playfully touching his arm from time to time, and throwing back her head to laugh giddily at something he said. Alex grimaced. Gross.
A voice said quietly to her, "Johnathan Jonas North."
Alex turned her head to see Brooke beside her. "Still not talking to you, Stick."
Brooke smirked. "Pretending not to hear you, Fun-Sized."
Alex stuck her fist into whatever food was to her right and pulled back a load of potato chips. She plucked one and shoved it into her mouth. She and Brooke both trained their eyes on Laura and Johnathan.
"She's had her eye on him for two years," Brooke mumbled over the edge of her soda can. "Now she's sixteen and fair game."
Alex squinted at Brooke, wondering if she was jealous at all.
Brooke leaned back against the wall at the end of the table. "Speaking of which…" She took another sip of her soda like it was no big deal. "Want to come to my birthday party in two weeks? Pop said I can have a few friends over. I figured Laura and I would order a pizza and watch a movie, but you're part of the gang too, and— "
"No," Alex cut her off.
Brooke leaned her head against the wall. "Kay."
"I…" Alex started to say. She glanced at Brooke, but looked forward quickly just when Brooke started to return her gaze. "I don't like parties." Alex stared at the chips in her hand. "Or people." She closed her hand around them, crumbling some of the bigger ones.
Brooke nodded mutely, picking at the tab on her can of soda.
Crickets, Alex thought when no words passed between them. She cleared her throat. "So, uh… what's your gramps so happy about?" She watched him standing near the other table as if guarding the glasses of tea-color minty liquid. He chuckled with Mr. North.
"He loves racing." Brooke rattled the metal soda tab around the inside of her empty can. "And Mint Juleps."
Alex caught her glancing at her from the corner of her eye.
"Won't make em for him," Brooke admitted. "Doc wants him to lay off the booze, but he won't listen."
Alex was about to say something when Mr. North crossed to the front of the movie screen and tapped a fork on the side of his julep glass. He cleared his throat and everyone looked at him expectantly.
"I want to thank you all for coming out again this year. You know most people, well… they love the Super Bowl. It's their church, with shrines to the god of barbeque, tailgaiting, and beer. But us? Well." He raised his glass with that sly grin oozing with whatever quality he oozed with that made people pretend to like him.
"There are only a few days a year we really get to let our hair down. And aside from the Breeders Cup, this…" He slid a remote from the pocket of his pleated, ironed khakis and pointed it at a projector Alex hadn't noticed earlier. It glowed with a blue light and the screen behind him jumped to life with the sight of Churchill Downs swelling with people and horses.
"This." North motioned to the screen. "Is our Super Bowl."
Those in the room who were able to clapped. Others hollered and whistled. Alex looked on.
Mr. North had turned it on just in time. The camera filming the spectacle that was the Derby panned across the sweeping far turn of the track and focused in on a man on the infield.
"Please rise as we sing 'My Old Kentucky Home'," said the announcer.
Along with the voices of fifty-thousand others at Churchill Downs, everyone in the room with Alex
began singing their state anthem, and sleek Thoroughbreds strolled out from a tunnel beneath the grandstands on the screen. Their muscled hides gleamed in the sunlight beneath a perfect, cloudless sky.
Alex mentally traveled far away to October when she stood by the very rail they were passing, as she watched Venus Galaxies go to post in the Breeders Cup Distaff.
For a brief moment, her imagination ran away on the back of Promenade decked out in North Oak's silks, and a future she'd never have with him. The roar of the crowd on the screen seeped into her vision.
Her hands tightened. Her heart raced. Too many people. Too many people!
Alex bolted from the room.
SOME PEOPLE
Alex stumbled up the stairs and caught herself at the top by the archway. The room spun in a blur of subtle color. Gentle afternoon light streamed in through high windows.
Out. I have to get out.
She sucked in a breath that stabbed her chest. A sting of a memory, of the moment she had this very thought before when she shot DeGelder, sent her heart bucking. Her eyes darted to the windows. Birds sang outside as though nothing at all was wrong with the world.
Alex took a deep breath, trying to pull herself together. The way they took to get to the theater downstairs seemed like a maze in her mind. Could she find her way out without being noticed? Or, worse, would she end up trapped in the house and forever living with Mr. North?
Brooke, who she was still not talking to, would probably joke that there were worse things than becoming a permanent fixture in the North household.
Alex staggered forward, crossing to the hall. She pressed her hand against the wall as though the cool, creamy champagne toned paint would guide her out somehow. Furniture. I'm going to become furniture.
Like before, the hall went on forever, with twists and turns that just further disoriented her. Maybe she could learn to blend in with the paintings.
"Oh," Alex said to herself, "don't mind me Mrs. North. I'm not really here. Just a random thing your husband bought that is…" Alex cringed. "Talking to herself."
She paused in the hall, wanting to bang her head against the wall.
"Looking for the door I presume?" asked a voice.
Alex stiffened then peeked around an open doorway. Mr. North leaned against a kitchen counter holding a drink in his hand. He smiled at her from across the way.
She cautiously stepped forward, tucking stray hair behind her ear. "What are you doing up here?"
North tipped his glass back, draining it of some of the golden liquid. He rattled the ice in the glass before tilting it a bit and gesturing behind him. "If you're looking for a way out, there's a door over there."
Alex's eyes narrowed.
North set his glass down and readjusted his stance against the counter. He sort of half-laughed quietly. "Don't worry. I understand. Even in a house this big, I still get a little crowded sometimes. Isn't it nice to know there's always a way out?"
He lifted his glass and polished off the remaining liquid, then nodded and rattled the glass again. Crossing to a counter top between them, he leaned down and pulled a bottle out. North popped off the top and poured more gold liquid into his glass, glancing at Alex. "Scotch. Helps my nerves."
When she said nothing, North smiled again. "I'd offer, but that wouldn't be right. Would it?" He nodded toward the door once more. "Door's over there."
Alex clenched her hands and rubbed her fingers one against another. "You're in my way."
"Ah," said North. He backed slowly toward another door leading to the hall. "I see. Don't want anyone to know you've gone. I hope this isn't another one of your masterful escape plans."
Alex grimaced, grumbling, "Cuz those worked."
"Indeed." North disappeared through the door, and after a moment Alex stepped forward. When she had taken a few more steps, North popped his head through the doorway again. "Maybe if you stopped trying to run from your problems and face them instead, you'd find yourself finally free."
They stared at one another until the corner of Mr. North's eyelid began twitching. He pulled back slowly and the door swung back and forth when he was gone.
Creepy Mr. North.
Alex darted for the door before he could come back in.
The kitchen door spit her out behind North's manor house not far from the barns. She wound her way toward the yearling barn where Promenade was stabled, and made her way to his stall.
Promenade stood with his rump toward the door, resting his weight on three legs with a drooped head. Alex listened to his breathing, deep and even. The entire barn was pretty quiet with everyone at the Derby party. Who could blame the colt for catching a cat nap?
"Psst," Alex whispered.
Promenade's ear flicked back. He shifted his weight with a sigh and swished his tail as though she were only a fly bothering him.
Alex quietly pushed open the stall door and slipped inside, crossing to him slowly. She wove her fingers with his silky white mane.
"I get it," she murmured. "A stall's probably the only place you can find any peace."
Her other hand eased down his neck to the top of his chest. She could almost feel his heart beating. "Away from people."
Alex leaned her cheek against his mane, stroking Promenade's chocolate colored shoulder. "I had to get out of there. Too many people. I couldn't breathe."
Promenade whickered softly.
"You can't trust people," Alex said. "People lie to you, hurt you, betray you. But you I can trust."
She lifted her head to gaze into his sleepy eye. Her hand eased onto the expanse of his blaze, just above the bridge of his nose. "Cuz I've noticed horses don't lie. You tell it like it is. I can believe in that." She leaned her forehead against his. "I can believe in us."
Promenade head butted her away as though her feelings were only one-sided. A blip of wondering if this is how Brooke felt every time Alex ignored her passed through her head. She quickly pushed the thought away with a grimace.
"At least he's honest about it," someone said.
Alex leaned around Promenade and saw Laura standing near the edge of the open stall door.
"What are you doing here?" Alex grumbled. "Johnathan get tired of you booping him on the nose?"
Laura shrugged. "Couldn't help noticing my little sister dashing away like the devil had her number."
Alex looked away as heat rose in her cheeks.
Laura slipped into the stall and leaned against the wall near the door. "Besides, you're the only one I really like to boop."
Alex raised an eyebrow. That didn't sound like it came out right.
"I'm worried about you, Alex."
"Why?"
"I'm your big sister. It's my job, right?"
Promenade barreled through Alex to get to his feed bucket. She rubbed her shoulder with a stormy look toward the colt.
"What do you say we go for a ride?" Laura suggested. "There's only a few things I know that are better for teen angst than a good long ride through the pastures."
"Let me guess what they are." Alex folded her arms. "Boys and shopping."
Laura snortled then motioned with her head for them to get out of this stall. "Come on, dingleberry."
Alex sort of swat-patted Promenade as she followed Laura from the stall. "C'ya, dumb horse."
Promenade swished his tail just as Alex passed and got her in the nose.
"Yeah. I don't need you either," Alex muttered.
Laura led them to the boarding barn where she entered the tack room and grabbed a backpack leaning against the wall. "Brooke says she's been teaching you to ride. Know how to tack up yet?"
"We've had, like, three or four lessons. I think I've got it."
"Good." Laura opened the bag and threw a few bottles of water in. "Grab your stuff and get Approved ready."
Alex sighed, but did as she was asked. He wasn't as much of a brat as Promenade was, but he still tended to be stubborn when she rode him in lessons.
“C’mon, Thorne.�
�� Laura led out a dark bay horse several stalls away and tacked up, then came to check on Alex. "Looks good."
"I gotta lead him around before I can tighten the girth all the way."
Laura nodded and returned to her mount.
Alex unclipped the cross ties and got Approved moving. He tended to hold his breath right after being tacked, so Brooke had taught Alex how to solve the problem.
When the gelding no longer looked like a blowfish, Alex tightened the girth and looked back to Laura. She didn't want to admit she needed help, but apparently Laura saw through it and came to her aid.
"Give me your leg."
Alex did so and bounced up into the saddle. She took a deep breath and tried to steady her trembling hands as she gathered the reins. She hoped Approved would behave on their first non-lesson ride together.
She circled him a few times, waiting for Laura and Thorne to catch up. The blonde rode up beside them and fastened the latch on her helmet. "Ready?"
Alex caught herself smiling as she remembered the time Brooke bonked her own helmet into place. She double checked the chin strap. Before she could answer, Laura clucked her horse into a brisk trot and headed toward the paddocks.
North Oak's umber brown fences seemed to sprawl out over rolling bluegrass forever. The May sun beat down on Alex and Laura through a sky as clear as the one on Mr. North's movie screen.
When they'd been riding for a good twenty minutes, Alex realized she'd never been this far out from the barns and housing before. She braced one hand on the cantle of her saddle and looked behind her. Lost in another maze all of its own.
Big, beautiful broodmares and their new foals dotted the fields, soaking up sun and playing in the spring warmth. Alex noted some of the broodmares still had wide bellies that twitched and jiggled at times. Whether from a fly or a rambunctious foal still inside, she didn't know. She glimpsed Venus Galaxies among them, grazing contentedly.
Even further away, a big black stallion raced and bucked up and down his fence line, occasionally bugling to the mares. Some of them would raise their heads and call back, while others flicked their tails and continued grazing.
Alex looked to Laura who had gotten quite a bit ahead of her. "Where are we going?" Alex called.
