by Merv Lambert
It was growing lighter and the storm seemed to be calming. The bosun still lay prone, unmoving, unconscious on the deck.
“What ship is this?” asked Colin.
“‘Tis the Black Gull. I warn you, sir, ‘tis a pirate ship”
“If this is a pirate ship, why do I see no skull and cross-bones flag?”
“Oh, we only fly that at the last moment, when we attack.”
“Anyway you don’t look like a pirate. You’re far too young.”
“Well, sir, none of us is really pirates except Bosun Buller and the captain, Cap’n Twitch. All the rest of us were press-ganged, brought on board and forced to work for them.”
“You mean kidnapped and forced to work against your will?”
“Aye. I’m the cook, so I don’t get treated as bad as some of the rest, but nobody dares complain. The cap’n and the bosun, well, they’ll beat anyone who doesn’t obey and no one can stand up to them. They’re too strong.”
“I see,” murmured Colin.
“Come on. You can’t stay here. I’ll find you and Sammy something to eat in the galley,” offered Jakie. Quickly Colin followed him and they soon arrived in the darkness of the gloomy galley.
“There’s not much room in here, but you can sit over there,” said Jakie, pointing to some sacks in the corner.
Soon Colin discovered that Jakie was a very good cook. His apple pies were marvellous. Sammy was happily gnawing the meat off a bone he had been given.
Suddenly Jakie looked up from chopping some carrots. “I nearly forgot. It’s the captain’s birthday today. He’ll expect something special from me.”
“Why don’t you bake him a cake?” asked Colin.
“Good idea,” said Jakie, and he immediately set about finding the ingredients and stoking the stove. Colin took off his coat, rolled up his sleeves and helped him. He still had the bookmark in his shirt pocket. He also helped the boy to prepare the captain’s breakfast. Jakie went nimbly up the steps to serve it in the big cabin. When he came back, he said, “The cap’n’s in a bad mood. The crew haven’t remembered to give him any presents. His daughter is even worse.”
“His daughter?” Colin was surprised. “His daughter is with him on board?”
“Aye. She’s a nasty piece of work. Very greedy. She always expects presents for herself even when it’s her father’s birthday. In fact she and the cap’n and Bosun Buller always keep for themselves all the money and treasure we take. They never share it with the crew. We work for nothing.”
“What’s her name?”
“Electra, but behind her back she is called Hellectra. Very cruel she is, and she winds the cap’n round her little finger. He’ll do anything for her, and so will Buller. The bosun wants to marry her but she’s not interested.”
Despite the warmth of the bookmark Colin felt a cold thrill of expectation. He knew he was soon to meet the terrible Twitches. He felt very curious about them.
“Why are they called Twitch?” he asked.
“You’ll see,” replied Jakie. “Clumsy devil he is. Blames everyone else, even Buller. And I heard the bosun is in a foul mood too. He can’t remember how he came to be laid out on the deck. Everyone is trying more than usual to keep out of his way.”
At that moment they heard Buller’s voice shouting above. “All hands on deck! All hands! Come on, ye scurvy dogs! The last one here will be flogged!” They heard running footsteps and lots of curses, as the crew rushed to assemble on deck.
“I must go,” said Jakie. “You wait here. No one else knows about you.” He hurried up the steps, but a few moments later Colin was horrified to hear Buller shout, “You there! You! Aye, young Jakie. You’re the last one here. I’ll flog you for keeping the cap’n and Miss Electra waiting.”
Colin could hear Jakie pleading. “No, no! I was busy in the kitchen with something special for the cap’n.”
“Oh, aye. What is it?”
“I…I can’t tell you. It’s a surprise for him.”
“You’ll not escape that easily,” hollered Buller gleefully. “Men, gather round. Young Jakie’s going to be flogged!”
Buller was just reaching out his left hand to grab the boy’s arm whilst brandishing a large whip in the other, when Colin suddenly appeared on deck with Sammy.
“No. He isn’t going to be flogged,” said Colin. “I’m the last one on deck.”
All around the ship the calm sea sparkled in the sunlight, but the mood on the Black Gull was grim.
“Who be that stranger?” barked a new voice. All heads turned towards an extravagantly dressed figure wearing a long, brown, curly wig, a red cocked hat and matching coat with lace cuffs.
“Aye, who be he?” echoed the young woman standing beside him. She wore an extravagant green dress with far too much decoration, many rings on her fingers and a jewelled tiara on her head. She obviously liked to dress for effect. Unfortunately the effect was ridiculous. Her features were spoiled by her angry, blazing eyes and the ugly downturn of her mouth.
Colin tried to explain. “I’m just a visitor and….”
“What’s that apology for a dog doing here with him?” interrupted the foul Electra. Sammy bared his teeth at her and gave a little snarl.
“Chairs!” suddenly commanded Captain Twitch. Two of the crew dashed off and returned with two chairs, one for the captain and one for his daughter. They sat down on the fore-deck overlooking everyone and clearly eager to enjoy the day’s entertainment, a flogging by the formidable Bosun Buller. Captain Twitch’s face suddenly twitched and he jerked his head to the left. Nobody laughed. No one dared. The crew were too frightened. They pretended they had not noticed.
“Well then, let the entertainment begin,” said Electra impatiently. She stamped her foot and her head twitched to the right. Again nobody laughed. “Well, get on with it! A grand flogging to celebrate the captain’s birthday, and you,” she said, pointing her finger straight at Colin, “are the chosen one! Hee hee hee!” Her laugh grated on the nerves like a fingernail scraping on a board. “The chosen one!” she repeated with glee.
“I don’t think so,” said Colin calmly and he snatched the whip from Bosun Buller’s giant hand. Buller just stood there, blinking in surprise.
Colin looked all around the assembled crew. “All those of you, who have felt the lash of this whip, raise your hand.” All the crew did so, including Jakie.
“Well, well, well,” said Colin, turning to the two Twitches. “Do you know what this tastes like? I’m sure you don’t.” Then turning to Buller, he raised an eyebrow. “And do you?”
“No!” sneered Buller. “You wouldn’t dare, you scurvy little …” He didn’t finish what he was saying, but said, “Yah! Ow! Yah!” instead, as the tip of the whiplash caught him on both hands and the tip of his bulbous nose. He stared unbelievingly at his raw fingers that stung ferociously and were now bright red.
“Like it?” asked Colin casually. The crew roared their approval. To their delight Colin said,”Men, tie him up. There are enough of you.” To Buller he said, “Don’t you dare move. Not an inch or you’ll get more of the same. You don’t like your own medicine, do you?” Buller was too busy nursing his injured hands to be aware of anything else, but he glowered balefully at Colin, as the crewmen eagerly and expertly bound him with a thick rope they had quickly found.
“Some shackles on his feet too would be a good idea,” added Colin. Two men dashed off to do Colin’s bidding.
Meanwhile the captain and his daughter looked on aghast. They twitched occasionally and quite nervously. At last Twitch found his courage to protest, and raised his voice. “I’m the captain here! Release him, ye scurvy knaves!”
“Not at all, my dear captain,” laughed Colin, and he flicked out the whip, so that it curled round the leg of the captain’s chair. He pulled sharply and Twitch found himself lying face down in a mudd
y puddle on the deck.
Electra screamed, “Papa, do something!”
Her father sat up. His fancy clothes were now wet and dirty. So was his face and his wig had slipped forward over his eyes so that he couldn’t see very well. Instinctively his hand felt for his sword, but the stinging lash of Colin’s whip, deliberately missing him but giving him due warning, made him hesitate and stop.
“Now, Miss Electra,” announced Colin, “as it’s your father’s birthday, there is something you can do for him. First of all help him up onto his chair.” Nodding to Jakie, he continued, “Go and fetch your surprise for the captain.”
“Aye, aye, sir,” said Jakie and dashed off. A minute later he returned. One of his friends was carrying a small table, which he set down in front of the Twitches. Jakie placed the birthday cake carefully on it.
“Gather round, everyone,” cried Colin. “Now the real birthday celebrations can begin. We are going to have a party. Miss Electra, there are thirty of us on board, thirty-one if you count Sammy here.” The little dog yapped on hearing his name. “Jakie will hand you that spatula there. We wouldn’t trust you with a knife of course. You will divide that very large cake neatly into equal portions, perhaps thirty-two, making one extra. Jakie will help you.”
Glaring unhappily, Electra did as she was told. This was a new experience for her. She did not particularly like it. Then Jakie and his friend took the cake round so that each crew member (and Sammy) received a piece. It was soon eaten. Even the Twitches had to agree that it was very good. Everyone except Buller had been given a small can and Jakie went round again, this time to pour a tot of rum into each one.
“Now, everyone,” called Colin, “a toast to the captain on his birthday. Happy birthday, Captain Twitch!” The crew laughed, raised their cans and echoed the toast. “Happy birthday, Cap’n Twitch!” They gulped down the rum and cheered. Captain Twitch was stunned. No one had ever been nice to him before, not even his daughter. He twitched uneasily on his chair, unsure what to do or what was going to happen, and he had already knocked over two rum bottles with his twitches. Electra just glowered silently.
“Gather round again”, called Colin. “As this is the captain’s birthday, we are going to have a real celebration, a proper party, and we are going to play a game. It’s called Little Mary. First we need to divide you into two teams.”
All the crew were chattering in amazement. They had never played a game on board ship before.
“Listen carefully,” shouted Colin, as Sammy woofed happily. “Quickly line up in twos. That’s right. Two lines equal in number.”
The crew shuffled into two lines. They waited expectantly.
Colin continued, “As there is not a lot of room on the deck and there are too many things lying about that you could stumble over…”
“Aye. Bosun Buller,” yelled someone, and everyone laughed, except the Twitches of course.
“So…,” Colin paused. “The race will be up and down the rigging. All of you sit down on the deck now please. Good. Thank you. Now each of you look at the person sitting next to you. In the game the two at the front will be Little Mary. These two tough-looking men were somewhat taken aback. One of them blushed bright red above his black beard, but his friend laughed and said, “It’s only a game.”
Colin went on. “The next two people in the line are Mummy and Daddy. All the other people in the line are the animals.” Colin walked along the deck, telling each pair of crewmen which animal they were in the game. “Now, I’m going to tell you a story,” he said. “If you hear yourself mentioned, you stand up, race up the rigging, touch the yardarm and return to sit in your place. On getting back to your places Mary must say, ‘Thank you, Mummy and Daddy’, Mummy must say to Daddy, ‘You scurvy knave!’, Daddy must say to Mummy, ‘Yes, dear,’ and the rest of you, the animals, must make the correct noise of your animal. If you forget to touch the yardarm, if you forget what to say or if you cheat, a point is given to the other team. You must make the right noise for your animal. For example cows don’t say, ‘Cluck! Cluck!’ Jakie will keep the score. Ready? Then let’s play. One day Little Mary…,” At this point one of the men at the front stood up and started climbing fast up the rigging. Suddenly the other Little Mary realised that he had been slow and raced to do the same, but he could not catch up and sat down in his place well after Big Lennie, alias the first Little Mary, had shouted, “Thank you, Mummy and Daddy!”
Colin continued his story. “Yes, one day she asked Mummy and Daddy, if she could go to the farm.” Before he had finished the sentence all four of the right crewmen leapt to their feet and raced up the rigging. All of them jumped nimbly down on the deck, sat down and in chorus shouted, “You scurvy knave!” and “Yes, dear!”
“Two points each,” announced Colin. Jakie was busily keeping the score. Sammy was yapping excitedly. Captain Twitch, still sitting on his chair, could not take his eyes off what was happening. Even his evil daughter was smiling and once was seen to clap her hands. The bookmark continued to glow in Colin’s pocket.
As Colin told the story of Little Mary’s visit to the farm to see the animals there, all the crew except Bosun Buller thoroughly enjoyed themselves and tried to outdo each other with their moos, oinks and other animal noises. It was a very silly game, but it was a lot of fun.
At last Colin came to the end of the story, saying, “And so Little Mary, Mummy and Daddy said goodbye to all the animals.” At that moment everyone except Colin, Sammy, Jakie, the Twitches and of course Bosun Buller clambered one last time up and down the rigging and collapsed laughing on the wooden deck.
“Well done, everyone!” said Colin. That’s the end of the story. And so they went home.”
“Who’s won?” shouted somebody.
“All of you,” said Jakie.
“Yes,” said Colin. “All of you have won and your prize is that you get to go home.”
“What? We don’t have to be pirates any more?” asked Big Lennie.
“That’s right. You know how to sail the ship, so sail it home. You can share out among you whatever treasure or money is on board.”
“What!” roared Captain Twitch, leaping up out of his chair. It had just dawned on him how much trouble he was in.
“What!” screamed Electra even louder.
They both moved at once. Quickly drawing his sword, Twitch slashed it viciously at Colin, but at the same time his arm twitched to the right and the swordpoint stuck firmly in the wood of the cabin door. With both hands he frantically tried to pull it free, until a sharp snap of Colin’s whip made him yelp with pain. He licked his sore fingers.
“You scurvy upstart!” he howled.
Electra had also launched herself at Colin. She was brandishing a large dagger encrusted with jewels.
“How dare you attack my darling Papa!” she squealed. “Kill him! Kill him!” she shouted to no one in particular. The crew ignored her. Just as suddenly her squeals of fury turned to squeals of pain. Sammy had darted forward and bitten her ankle. She stumbled and tripped on the folds of her long dress. Like her father before her she found herself lying on the deck in a filthy puddle, but this one was a puddle of black oil. She lay there twitching and screaming with rage. Her father cowered, twitching, next to the cabin door.
“Colin called to the crew, as he picked up Sammy and patted him, “Come on, lads.” He pointed at the two Twitches. “Lock them in the cabin and take turns to guard it. Big Lennie, you are now the captain of this ship, so sail her home.”
All the crew cheered. Buller had been locked in the hold with the rats.
“I think you will find there is a reward for the capture of Captain Twitch and Bosun Buller, that is, when you hand them over to the prison authorities.”
Again the crew cheered. Jakie was jumping up and down excitedly because he was going home.
Big Lennie stepped forward. “Thank ee, thank ee,
sir, but we don’t know your name.”
“My name is Colin and I come from another place and another time.”
“Thank ee, sir,” repeated Big Lennie and shook hands with him.
“Finally it is time for me to go,” said Colin. “You enjoyed the captain’s birthday party. You have learned how to be happy again. Goodbye, my friends.”
Everyone rushed forward to shake Colin by the hand and to make a fuss of Sammy. The last was Jakie, who hugged Colin and Sammy.
“Goodbye, Colin. Goodbye, Sammy,” he said. “I know what I am going to do, when I get home. No more sailing. I’m going to organise parties with lots of games and fun, and people will pay me very well for it. Some of my friends will help. You showed us the way.”
As he raised his arm for a final wave, Colin realised that he was back in his armchair with Sammy lying on his lap.
“That was some adventure,” he said to himself. “Did I dream it?” Then he looked down at his right hand. He was still clutching the whip that he had taken from Bosun Buller. The bookmark glowed warmly in his pocket.
Colin of Sherwood
Colin had so enjoyed his adventure with the pirates that he couldn’t stop smiling.
Mr. Jellysox said, “ You are in a very good mood today.”
“Yes. It must be something I’ve read.” Colin could hardly wait to find out what would happen the next time he opened his new old book. As usual he worked cheerfully. Mrs. Biggle did not come in, and even if she had, she would no longer have been able to throw her weight about.
That evening after taking Sammy for his second walk of the day Colin settled once more in his armchair. Sammy came and sat on him, as he opened the book. The bookmark glowed red and seemed to flash with gold highlights. He opened the book at random and found that he was not reading, but walking. The shadows of evening had been replaced by a bright sunny day. He was walking round a blackthorn bush in a very large wood or forest. Sammy was trotting beside him, enjoying in his own little doggy way sniffing at everything. As they came round the bush, Colin saw that the path was blocked by a large, fast-flowing stream. A ramshackle, rickety wooden bridge spanned it. Just as he arrived at the bridge, someone appeared at the opposite side of it.
