by Merv Lambert
“Ow! Ow! Ow!” wailed the guard.
“Do have a piece of this delicious orange,” said Colin, popping a segment of it into the guard’s open mouth. “Oh dear! Now you are as guilty as me!”
The guard gulped in dismay and so swallowed whole the piece of orange. He coughed and spluttered.
“No one need ever know,” continued Colin in his fluent Chinese.
“I will!” laughed a girl’s voice behind him. The guard, who had just disentangled himself from the bush, looked in horror at the speaker.
“Forgive me, oh Most High Princess!” he pleaded and he flung himself flat on the ground in front of her.
“Oh, don’t be so silly! Stand up at once!” she commanded. Then, turning to Colin, she asked, “And who are you? I haven’t seen you before.”
Colin didn’t know exactly what to do, so he gave a little bow and said, “Most High Princess, I am Koh-Lin. I was helping Glo-Bagg in the garden, but he did not tell me it is forbidden to eat the fruit.”
The princess laughed again. “Well, Koh-Lin, I like you. Is this your little dog?” Sammy was gazing up at her unsurely.
“Yes,” said Colin.
“Then make sure my father does not see him. He likes dogs, but in pies! This one would only make a very little pie though.”
Twirling her parasol, the princess smiled at Colin and the guard. “Meet me at the small summer-house at sundown on the island reached by the blue bridge. I believe I will have a job for you. Oh, and don’t any of you tell anyone I was walking out here on my own without any of my guardian ladies. I hate them. They are so nosy and never let me do anything that is fun.” She skipped quickly towards the large building, which Colin realised was the Emperor’s palace.
Well,” he said to the guards, who had now recovered from their rash attempt to seize him, “I’m sure you know that it would be unwise to attack me again. Can we be friends instead?”
The smallest of the three stammered, “Are…Are…Are you a wizard?”
“Oh, no,” replied Colin. I feel I am here for a purpose, but I am not sure what it is yet.”
Just then Glo-Bagg appeared and snapped at Colin, “What? Lazing about? I told you to work on that vegetable patch!”
“It’s finished,” said Colin. “By the way, are you always so bad-tempered and rude even to people, who are willing to help you?”
“Yes!” snapped Glo-Bagg. “I’m afraid I am! Get back to work! Plant all those vegetable-seeds out of those boxes over there!”
“No,” said Colin. “Plant them yourself, Grumpy.”
“What’s that?” asked the second guard. “Glum-Pi?”
“It means bad-tempered where I come from,” said Colin, smiling.
The three big men were now grinning. “Koh-Lin, you are very funny,” said the leader. “We are glad to be your friends.” Then turning to Glo-Bagg, who was staring at them all with his mouth wide open, he said, “Buzz off, Glum-Pi, or I’ll arrest you for not warning Koh-Lin not to eat the Emperor’s fruit!”
Glo-Bagg, now also known as Glum-Pi, scuttled away without saying another word. Sammy chased his tail happily.
“Koh-Lin, I am Fah-Flung, and these are my brothers Aih-Dun-Pong and Hoo-Flung-Dung. Call us Fah, Pong and Dung for short.”
“And this is Sammy,” said Colin.
“Sam-Mi. Good. Well, I am hungry. Come with us to our guardhouse. We will eat there. You too Sam-Mi.”
The little dog wagged his tail.
Colin was soon tucking into a bowl of noodles, chicken and rice. All four of them ate with their fingers. Sammy wolfed down the pieces of meat he was given. Like everyone he met, Sammy had charmed the three brothers.
“Look. The sun is going down. It’s time to meet Princess Orange Blossom,” said Fah.
They made their way down to the blue bridge and onto the little island in the middle of a lake strewn with colourful waterlilies. They waited outside the summerhouse that was the same deep red shade as the palace.
“Good.” It was the voice of the princess. “Come inside quickly. I have given my lady guardians the slip, but it will only be for a few minutes. They are already looking for me.”
As Colin and the three guards stepped inside the small summerhouse, they noticed a tall young man standing in the shadows. He was wearing a long white robe, not a peasant’s smock. Orange Blossom put her hand on his arm and drew him forward. This is Si-Thru. I wish to marry him, but my father does not like my choice of husband. He says I should not marry a window salesman. He wants me to marry one of the horrible, ugly, mean, old generals, who are always quarrelling over me. They are all unbelievably rich. That is the real reason he wants me to marry one of them. My father, you see, is very, very, very rich, but he always wants more. He thinks that, if I marry an old man, that husband will soon die and so he will get much more money by marrying me again to another rich old man, and so on.”
Si-Thru had a pleasant low voice. “What is worse,” he said, “is that tomorrow the Emperor has set a test for all of Orange Blossom’s suitors. Whoever is successful will be able to claim her as his bride. I am being allowed to enter the contest, but only because the Emperor thinks I will fail. All the rich old generals and ministers think they will win. There is in fact little chance for any of us. We could all be killed and then the Emperor would claim all our wealth and possessions for himself as a forfeit for not succeeding.”
“What is the test?” asked Colin.
“There is a cave in the Black Mountain. In it lives a terrible dragon. It is thought to have set fire to many villages, just by breathing on them. None of the warriors, who have set forth to kill it have ever returned,” replied Si-Thru. “Whoever slays the dragon will win.”
“Perhaps we can help you,” said Colin. “Can’t we, my friends?” The three guards nodded eagerly. They would maybe rise to the challenge of gaining fame and fortune by helping Orange Blossom and Si-Thru.
“The contest takes place tomorrow morning. You will try to help us, won’t you?” pleaded the princess. The four friends nodded and Sammy wagged his tail.
That night Colin and Sammy ate and slept at the guard’s house next to the palace gardens.
In the morning they followed a large crowd of people from the palace. It was not often that the Emperor left his home in the Forbidden City. He walked ahead of everyone and then sat down on a heavy gold chair that some servants had carried down to the river that flowed opposite the cave in the Black Mountain. Many local people from the villages near the royal palace had also come down to the riverside to watch. The ministers and generals were arguing about who should go first.
“I should be first,” said Yoo-Noh, the Minister of Information.
“No, it should be me,” stated the Minister for Disputes Noh-Wei.
“Don’t trust them,” disagreed the Minister for Agreements Oh-Kei.
“Really I should go first,” said General Lo-Fat-Wun.
“Nonsense!” roared General Wun-Too-Wun-Too.
“I am your most useful minister, oh Great High Emperor,” urged the Minister of Taxes Noh-Chi-Ting in his smoothest, oiliest voice.
The Emperor raised his hand. “Silence!” he said. Everyone fell silent. He went on, “None of you is worthy to go first. All of you have an equal chance. You will cross the river, enter the cave and try to slay the dragon. It does not matter whether you go in on your own or not. The test begins now!” He swept his hand down to start a mad race by the contestants to cross the river.
Some of the important men of the royal court ordered their servants to wade into the water and to carry them across without getting their masters’ fine clothes wet. Others started to swim across. Some of the more intelligent ones had prepared boats. Among them was Si-Thru, who with his four friends (five, if you include Sammy) was concealed under a bush just around a bend in the river.
A
s the first men reached the far shore, there was a terrible roar and smoke and flames erupted from the cave. The dragon had seen them. Some of them faltered and stopped. Others driven on by greed and ambition, pressed on, and soon at least twenty had penetrated the dark cave. Twice a roar re-echoed from it and a few wisps of smoke appeared. It meant that the dragon had retreated further into the cave, but no men came back out.
Si-Thru in his boat was the last to cross the river. He rowed his friends across and they hauled the boat onto the shore. There was no noise from the cave. Deadly silence reigned, as they went in out of the light into the gloom. They had remembered to bring four lanterns. Their glow cast eerie, flickering shadows on the rock walls of the cave. Si-Thru led the way. The only weapon he had was a short sword. In Colin’s pocket the bookmark glowed. He grasped Sammy’s lead firmly in his left hand and with the other he held his lantern high. The little dog was unafraid. He was simply with Colin, wasn’t he?
The cave narrowed slightly and they came to a large underground pool. Littered all around it were the charred, blackened bodies of all the vain men, that is the ministers, courtiers and generals, who for their own self-interest had wished to slay the dragon. Once again the bookmark glowed and throbbed. On the other side of the pool stood the dragon! The green scales on its body shone in the dim light of the lanterns. It was looking directly at them! Then something utterly unexpected happened. Sammy woofed excitedly and pulled his lead free from Colin’s hand. He ran round the pool, sniffed one of the dragon’s feet and gazed up into its face. Then he licked the dragon’s foot. The dragon in turn lowered its head and sniffed Sammy. The two creatures, one big and one very small, were exchanging smells. The dragon gave a little sound, almost a murmur, and licked Sammy with its long black tongue. To the others watching the dragon’s face seemed to lose its fierce, threatening look. It seemed calm and happy.
“That’s the answer,” said Colin. “You don’t have to kill it, Si-Thru. All it wanted was a friend. Sammy is its friend now, and I guess all of us could be.”
Cautiously the five men walked towards the dragon, saying calming words to it to show that they meant it no harm. It was so pleased with Sammy that it allowed them to touch its scaly, warm sides.
Colin picked up Sammy’s lead and said,”Now, if we leave the cave, I think the dragon will follow Sammy.” The bookmark glowed, as if it approved.
To the amazement of the Emperor and all the other people on the far bank of the river the five men emerged unharmed from the cave, leading a little dog and followed by the dragon, which did not look at all frightening.
Si-Thru called across the waters. “Oh Lord Most High Excellent Emperor, there was no need to slay the dragon. As you can see, we have tamed it instead. We will bring it to you.” Then he climbed into his boat with his four friends and they set off back across the river. The dragon swam across it with Sammy perched high upon its back, and as soon as they landed Si-Thru took Sammy’s lead from Colin and led the dragon to the Emperor, who sat stock-still, not wishing to appear afraid in front of his people. Si-Thru bowed low and then said, “Oh, Lord Most Brilliant High Emperor, allow me to present the dragon.” The Emperor said nothing, because he was so taken aback.
Orange Blossom, however, was delighted. She dashed forward and started to stroke the dragon’s scales. “Isn’t he sweet?” she cooed. “Papa, can I keep him as a pet? I’ll call him Fleddi.”
The dragon was looking quite bewildered at having so many new admirers. Sammy still sat proudly on its back and it turned its head back to look at him to make sure he was still there.
Orange Blossom ran to her father. “Oh, Daddy,” she squealed joyfully, “Si-Thru has won the contest. Now he can marry me. That is what was agreed!”
“Er, that looks like a tasty little dog,” said her father, trying to change the subject and still unwilling to accept Si-Thru as his son-in-law.
The latter threw himself flat on the ground and cried, Lord Excruciatingly High Emperor, please accept my offer of marriage to Orange Blossom and also please allow me to present my friends Fah-Flung, Ai-Dun-Pong, Hoo-Flung-Dung and Koh-Lin. And the little dog by the way is also my friend. He is Sam-Mi. “At the mention of their names each of the brothers threw themselves down in front of the Emperor. Colin merely bowed.
Then he said, “My Lord High Emperor, may I speak on behalf of my friend Si-Thru? “
The Emperor nodded slightly.
“Your daughter Orange Blossom and my friend Si-Thru love each other and therefore wish to be married to each other. This is well known by all. What you may not be aware of are the great advantages that this young man would bring to you and your great country.” The bookmark was glowing encouragingly. “You say that he is only a window salesman. I see that he is much more than that. He is honest, faithful, courageous, and he will bring you greater wealth than you have ever dreamed of. I have told him about a system of windows called double-glazing. Much money could be made by selling these windows, which keep houses warmer. Just declare that all dwellings in your land must have them. Then you could even put a tax on them. The people would be poorer but much warmer in the harsh cold winters and would probably be very grateful to you.”
The Emperor suddenly stood up. “I accept,” he said. “My daughter Orange Blossom and Lord Si-Thru will be married tomorrow. As from this very moment Si-Thru is my Minister of Double Glazing.”
Orange Blossom and Si-Thru embraced. The crowd cheered. Meanwhile Sammy and the dragon had raced off to play on the huge lawns of the royal palace gardens.
The princess ran to hug Colin and his friends. “You are of course invited to the wedding. You will all be guests of honour, and I don’t think three of you will be palace guards any longer. Si-Thru wants you to be his assistants. Oh, and could you all meet me again this afternoon at the same place and same time as yesterday?”
So it was the next morning, again a bright and sunny one, that the wedding ceremony took place. Instead of his usual frown the Emperor had a beaming smile on his face especially when he looked at Si-Thru. He was no doubt thinking of the huge profits his new son-in-law was already bringing him. The feast seemed unending to Colin, as more and more dishes of delicious food were brought to the table. Music played. Wine and laughter added to the high spirits of everyone. At the end of the meal the Emperor summoned Colin to speak to him and thanked him for what he had done. The newlyweds also came across to thank Fah, Pong, Dung and Colin, who were wearing the bright red silk outfits that Orange Blossom had given them the previous day at sundown in the summerhouse. Colin thought that they looked like expensive red pyjamas.
He still thought so, when he found himself once more in his armchair wearing them. The straw hat was still on his head. He was thinking to himself that it pays to treat people, and even dragons, fairly, even if you are the ruler of a huge country.
“Hi, Sammy,” he said, stroking the little dog. “What’s this attached to your collar?
Oh, you’ve got a souvenir as well!” It was a bright green dragon’s scale. Yes, Sammy and the dragon had been sad to part, but Orange Blossom had found another little dog to be the dragon’s friend and her father had made a solemn promise not to eat it. It was sad saying goodbye to Si-Thru and his bride and to the three brothers, but Colin had explained, “I am from another place and another time.” He did not bother to say goodbye to Glo-Bagg, also known as Glum-Pi, who anyway was probably still asleep on his kang.
“Well, well,” Colin thought. “These adventures get better and better! I wonder what’s in store for us next?” The bookmark was still there, glowing mysteriously in his pocket.
But, once again, that is another story.
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