She’d expected to fall into her own bed, comforted by the familiarity of her home in the city. But the city provided no relief. Noises from the street carried into her apartment through the thin walls. Traffic passed by at all hours of the day and night. She hadn’t noticed how loud everything was until she’d been away. Oak Grove was quiet, peaceful. Not at all like the city. The sounds she thought she loved now just exacerbated the persistent pain in her head.
After her first restless night, she’d headed down the street to the nearby coffee shop. But it was no Mug ’n Muffin. There were people everywhere. Rude, crass people, who cared about no one but themselves. Certainly not a woman swiping at tears under her eyes as she struggled to yell her order over the crush of people around her. Men who leered at her and threw vulgar comments her way. The young professional type she’d thought she found attractive now just seemed wimpy. She couldn’t even find peace in her local coffee shop, with others staring at her as she sat alone.
She’d looked up at the buildings that had excited and intrigued her when she’d first moved to the city—now they just blocked her view of the bright blue sky. There were no stars at night here, the city lights made it impossible to see any. And the smell. Garbage and exhaust and sweat. Relaxing outside on a patio was out of the question. It was nothing like the fresh scent of the river she and Joey had floated down that first day or the smell of the burgers grilling out behind J.J.’s.
At some point, the city had become foreign to her. As soon as she asked herself when, she knew the answer. It hadn’t been one single event, but a string of them. Every quiet moment looking up at the stars, every smile she’d shared with Joey doing things she thought she’d left behind. But she knew for certain that the moment she’d fallen into the creek and Joey had come after her, his fear for her more important than his own safety, had been the start of her transformation.
All of these things ran through her mind as she stared at the stark walls of her apartment on Sunday morning.
Her phone jingled—the happy ringtone Karen had installed for herself. Brittany lifted the phone to her ear. She’d barely clicked connect when Karen’s voice rang through the earpiece.
“Hey, chickie. What time are you heading back to New York?”
Brittany drew in a deep breath, steeling herself against the conversation she’d avoided since she’d returned to the city early.
“Brittany?”
“I’m already here.”
“You are?”
Brittany held the phone away from her head, Karen’s screech grating against her already-frazzled nerves. Returning the phone to her ear, she heard Karen’s incessant chattering.
“Karen… Karen… hold on a minute.”
Laughter rang through the phone. Karen’s excitement often bubbled over.
“I came home on Thursday afternoon.”
“What! Why?”
Again Brittany held the phone away from her head. “It’s a long story. I don’t want to talk about it.”
Her words were met with silence, and she knew what came next. She glanced around her apartment, wondering what Karen would think when she showed up. And she would show up. She’d likely clicked off as soon as Brittany had announced she had come home early, dashed down her stairs, and was running the two blocks between their homes.
She’d need coffee for this conversation. She headed to the kitchen and pulled out the filters to brew a fresh pot. She’d drunk more coffee in the past few days than she had in the past few years. As the final liquid dripped into the pot, a loud rap sounded at her door.
“Come in,” she yelled, knowing Karen didn’t need the invitation before barreling in.
Karen let the door slam behind her and scrambled into the kitchen, throwing her keys onto the counter. “What’s going on?”
“I’ve brewed some coffee. Do you want a cup?”
“Come on, Britt. What’s going on with you?”
Brittany poured two cups of coffee and sat at the table, sliding one across to Karen.
“We had a big fight and I left.”
Karen sputtered on the sip of coffee she’d just taken. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and lowered her cup to the table. “You need to warn me before you say things like that. I can’t believe you got in a fight. You two seemed so perfect together. What happened?”
Brittany scrubbed her hand over her face, knowing she needed to share more than just the fight with Karen. Brittany’d never told her friend much about her childhood, leaving the menacing parts behind with her parents. But for Karen to understand why Joey’s words had hurt Brittany so severely, she needed to understand the world Brittany had grown up in.
“I think I better start at the beginning. Back at home in Whitefish, Montana.”
Brittany proceeded to describe her childhood to Karen, the abuse her mother endured and the times her father had turned his anger toward Brittany and her sister. Once in a while, Karen swiped the tears that formed at the corners of her eyes, and other times, her hand stretched out to cover Brittany’s on the kitchen table. But Karen didn’t speak, which Brittany appreciated, because she wasn’t sure she could share the entire story if she’d been interrupted.
“Rachel is in a really bad place, Karen. My heart broke for her. Shane has shattered her spirit. I tried to help her. And Joey.”
“What did he say?”
“He stormed out of Rachel’s trailer and screeched out of the yard. I followed him to his cabin.”
“His cabin?”
“I’ll tell you more about that later. But I knew when he left her, that was where he was headed. I followed him there and… and… he was so ugly to me. I thought he would listen to me at first, but then he accused me of wanting him for sex.”
“What?” Karen’s screeching voice was no more sedate in person than over the phone.
“He was so angry. And mean. Even after everything I told him. I turned around and left.”
“Of course you did. Has he tried to contact you?”
“He called and sent a text the next day and apologized. But I didn’t answer, and he didn’t text again.”
“So it’s over,” Karen said with a resolved sigh.
“I guess.”
Karen’s head tilted in question. “Is that not what you want?
Brittany twisted a paper napkin in her hands, ripping small pieces off and piling them on the table. Karen’s hands covered hers. They sat like that for a moment before Brittany raised her eyes to her friend’s.
“What do you really want?” Karen asked.
“I don’t know anymore. I mean, I was happy here. I am happy here. I’ve wanted to live in New York my entire life.”
“Considering what happened to you growing up, that makes sense. But what changed?”
“I did. Joey did. I don’t know. It wasn’t one thing. It was everything. I had more fun on the work site than I’ve had in years at my job here in the city. For once, my life had purpose. And the people in town, they were so friendly. It felt, I don’t know, like I fit there.”
Karen smiled at her. “Of course you did. I’ve never thought you belonged in the city. Your eyes lit up more than once in Oak Grove, and I knew you were finding yourself after all of these years of hiding.”
“I wasn’t hiding.”
“Yes, you were. Hiding in this apartment. In your job. You spent your entire life hiding from your true self. You’ve been trying to be someone you weren’t.”
Brittany sighed, knowing Karen had touched on a truth Brittany had refused to admit to herself for so long.
“That makes sense. But honey, not all towns are like yours. Oak Grove is something special. People look out for each other. I can’t understand how people stood by and didn’t help you, but it’s not always like that. You saw that, with Joey and Lucas and Sawyer. You told me you never expected them to go to Rachel the way they did.”
“I didn’t.”
“But you should. That’s what good people do. They loo
k out for each other. Joey has a special relationship with Rachel. I’m sure it hurt him deeply to see her in a situation he couldn’t control. And he lashed out at the closest person—you.”
“Yeah, but—”
“I know he hurt you. I can see it in your eyes. People can’t hurt you if you don’t let them in. And you let him in. Which means that while he hurt you, you can also get past this. If you want to.”
“Hmm.”
“Is that what you want?”
Brittany wished she had an answer to that question. She’d been niggling over that thought since she returned home. “I don’t know what I want anymore.”
“I guess you need to figure that out.” Leave it to Karen to lay it on the table for Brittany.
After a few more minutes, Karen wrapped Brittany in a hug before leaving her alone. Alone with her thoughts and with the uncomfortable sounds of the city swirling around her.
She spent another sleepless night tossing and turning, the sheets tangled around her body. As the dark sky gave way to the early light of dawn, Brittany stared out the small window overlooking the alley of her brownstone. She pressed her head into her pillow, a deep sigh escaping her lungs. She was no closer to a decision about what she wanted than she had been when she’d climbed into the bed. And she’d gotten no sleep to boot. With a work day ahead of her, she had no choice but to climb out of the bed.
She tackled her morning routine by rote with none of the former enthusiasm she thought she’d felt. The trip to the office was short and uneventful, but she felt as out of place in the office as she did in the rest of her life. Dropping her purse into the drawer of her desk, she looked out her office window at the life of the city below her. People rushing down crowded sidewalks, cars honking as they sped through the packed streets, steam and smoke rising from the shops and buildings, and not much green space. If she closed one eye and craned her head to the side, she could barely make out the small park that had become her refuge in the city.
“Brittany?” her boss said from the doorway and she turned around to face him.
She spun her chair around, unprepared for what her boss had to say after her week away. “What can I do for you, Mr. Purdy?”
“Can we talk about the project you submitted before you left?”
She gestured to the chair opposite her desk. “Absolutely. Have a seat.”
He lowered himself into the chair, his eyes focused on his lap instead of her.
When she couldn’t stand the silence anymore, she spoke. “Is something wrong?”
He lifted his eyes then. “We spent the last week working with the client, and I have to say, he was a bit disappointed.”
“I’m sorry. What were his concerns?”
“If you remember when we first conducted our visioning meetings, he had some grand ideas for how to make these models new and different, a fusion of old style with modern conveniences. He feels none of the designs we submitted reflected his vision.”
She sighed. “I guess I had a hard time getting my creative juices flowing on this project.”
“Brittany, I see a lot of promise in you. You have a bright future ahead. And I know what kind of work you can do, which is why the client’s reaction surprised me. What’s going on?”
“I don’t know. I guess I wasn’t feeling it.”
He didn’t respond, his eyes focused on her, until she continued.
“I think I had a Pollyanna view of what I wanted out of my career when I started here, and it’s not living up to what I expected—or what I wanted.”
“What did you want?”
“I want to feel like I’m making a difference. You know, designing art galleries, or museums… or homes for underprivileged families or veterans.”
His jaw tightened. “Those are some lofty goals, to be sure. I think you can get there, given time. But right now, do you think you can take these plans and revise them based on the client’s notes?”
“I will. Thanks, Mr. Purdy.”
Her boss placed the plans on her desk and walked out of her office, pulling the door closed behind him. As soon as the latch snicked, she spun her chair around, again looking out the window, leaving the plans untouched on the desk. She twirled the chair back and forth, shuffling the thoughts in her mind with each spin until she focused. She knew what she wanted. She just had to reach out and grab it. If only it were that easy.
She had some research to do and some calls to make. She turned back to the laptop sitting in the middle of her desk, brought up the browser, and searched for the number she needed to call.
Chapter Twenty-Six
A CAR HORN beeped behind him, grabbing Joey’s attention from the slip of paper in his hand. He checked the numbers on the buildings. Thank God he’d found the right street. Confident he was headed in the right direction, he strode down the brick sidewalk, stepping over crooked bricks and around the historic-style light poles that stretched up toward the sky at regular intervals. To look at this street, you wouldn’t necessarily know you were in the city. But Joey knew. A steady noise rang in his ears, the exhaust stunk up the air, and sidewalks stretched for miles in all directions. But he was here, and he wasn’t leaving. This was too important… Brittany was too important.
After mulling over everything that had happened with her and spending the rest of Sunday feeling lost in his own house, he’d leapt into action. He’d let her go, no, he’d driven her away, and he had to fix that. If he’d only realized sooner that he loved her, this could have all been avoided.
He’d arranged with Carla to cover the bar for the foreseeable future. Thank God he had her on board. She’d been happy to step in, and that freed Joey up to head into New York. Karen had easily handed over Brittany’s home address, and with little hassle, he found himself on her street a few hours later.
It was exactly as she’d described it the day he met her. He could see the charm in the older building. Her street did have a small town feel in the big city, and he wasn’t surprised. For all of her big city ways, she was a small-town girl at heart.
But that didn’t matter to him. Not anymore. All that mattered was Brittany. Wherever she was, he would be. It was that simple. It took him all these years to realize that he and Shelby wouldn’t have worked—not because she wanted to live in the city, but because they weren’t meant to be.
When you fell in love with the right person—the person you were meant to be with—where you lived didn’t matter. Where you lived was just a place, and home was with the person you love. Brittany was his home. Big city, small town, it didn’t matter.
He stood outside her building for a few minutes, studying the brick front. Would she let him in? Would she give him a chance to explain? He’d do whatever he needed to do to make that happen. If he had to come back day after day, he would.
Well, here goes nothing. Finding the front door locked, he studied the panel mounted on the doorway, located Carlson, and pressed the buzzer.
He stood waiting for a long time. No answer.
He pressed the buzzer again, bouncing from foot to foot. He’d planned for every eventuality… except for her not being home.
Cars passed on the street, a dog scooted by, pulling a couple behind him. But no Brittany. He could sit on the stoop and wait, but who knew how long she would be gone? His phone beeped and he pulled it out of his pocket. Maybe she was calling him. His hopes were dashed when Karen’s number flashed on the screen.
“Did you talk to her yet?”
“She’s not home.”
“Interesting. She left the office several hours ago. She’s not here with me. I wonder where she could be? She said she had some things to think over, so I figured she’d be at home.”
She had to think? Where would she do that? Wait a minute. She’d talked about a place she went, her oasis in the city. That was it. He asked Karen for directions and rushed down the steps.
After a couple of blocks, he identified the two buildings Karen had described. He headed down the alle
y, the height of the buildings on either side of him blocking the waning beams of the sun. As he reached the back edge of the building, the black, oily asphalt gave way to plush green grass. He spied large boxwood hedges, obscuring the view of what lay beyond. Following the hedges until he found a gap in the greenery, he stepped through and found himself in a luxurious haven in the middle of the city. Just as Brittany had described.
Green grass spread out in all directions, plush and manicured. Several huge trees stretched up from the ground, their branches filled with leaves providing shade and filtering from the sun. The green hedges provided a barrier between the park and the rest of the city. This was a little bit of heaven in the middle of an urban setting. Children ran and skipped in the grass, others swinging on the playset positioned in one corner. Couples walked across the park arm-in-arm or lay together on blankets stretched out on the ground. Others sat on the wooden benches scattered throughout the park.
And that was where he found Brittany, book in her lap, hands folded on top and head tilted back. Her eyes were closed. A peaceful, gentle smile graced her lips. With her features relaxed, she looked young and innocent. But after all she had shared with him, he knew better. She’d faced the ugliness of the world during her childhood, and instead of supporting her when she’d come to help him, he’d thrown everything back in her face. He’d regretted it the minute he’d said it, but he hadn’t known how to apologize.
After talking with his family, he’d asked himself what he wanted out of life, and the answer came quickly. His bar and Oak Grove didn’t mean much to him anymore without Brittany to share it. He couldn’t believe how she’d become so important to him in such a short period of time, but she’d worked her way under his skin and into his life.
He stepped into the line of sun casting its warmth onto her face. “Is this seat taken?”
Brittany jumped and her book tumbled from her lap. He picked it up, handing it back to her as he joined her on the bench. She slid a bit away from him. He hated that he’d done that to her.
One Last Dance (Oak Grove Series Book 2) Page 22
