‘Good,’ she said. ‘Really good.’
He rose and sat down beside her. ‘I made it.’ His voice was smug.
Her eyes widened in disbelief. ‘You? But how? I don’t understand. You’re not going to tell me you know how to cook?’
He laughed. ‘No. I don’t think I ever spent more than ten minutes in a kitchen, until this morning. We had a cook all the years I was growing up—Mrs Rothschild. And she didn’t like anyone to intrude on her turf—especially small boys.’ His smile faded a little. ‘And my wife had no interest in cooking. In fact, it amazed me how quickly she was able to find and hire a woman who was a virtual Rothschild clone.’
‘Then how…?’
‘The doctor told me the kinds of things he wanted you to eat. And you have three shelves of cookbooks in that kitchen.’ He frowned. ‘Of course, there wasn’t a hell of a lot of food in the cupboards or the fridge. But the market up the road—’
Talia stared at him. ‘You mean—you mean you shopped for all this stuff and then you cooked it?’
‘Yeah.’ He grinned. ‘And from the looks of how quickly you’re demolishing my efforts, I did a pretty good job.’
She was too stunned to do anything more than nod. He had done a fine job, she thought. The soup was good, the pudding delicious.
‘Listen, I know you women tend to make food preparation sound like a cross between mysticism and quantum physics, but the simple truth is that anybody can manage—not creatively, maybe, but competently—if he or she can read and follow directions.’ Logan smiled. ‘True?’
She nodded. ‘Yes,’ she finally answered, ‘true.’
True as far as it went, she thought. But what he’d left out of that easy equation was the most important part, and that was Logan Miller himself. This man, who’d shopped in the old-fashioned market up the road, who’d pored through her cookbooks and taken out her pots and pans, who’d painstakingly prepared the first meal he’d ever made in his life, was someone who had hardly ever gone into the kitchen of his apartment in Sao Paulo. For that matter, he’d never let her go into it, either, except to boil water for tea or coffee. What had possessed him to do all this?
‘Logan.’ Talia took a deep breath and put down her custard cup. ‘I don’t understand what’s going on.’
Something flickered in his eyes. He rose to his feet, stuck his hands into the back pockets of his jeans, and looked away from her into the fire. ‘Yes. You’re right. Let’s get to it.’
His voice had lost all tone. She felt a sudden chill. Shivering, she pulled the blankets more closely around her.
‘Did I…?’ She paused, then began again. ‘I guess I passed out last evening.’
He nodded. ‘Yes. I carried you to the couch, then called for a doctor.’
‘And?’
‘And he said you have a bug—a flu that’s been making the rounds. Nothing serious.’ He swung around and gave her an accusing stare. ‘He also said you need to put some meat on your bones. I told him I’d never seen you this thin.’
A flush rose to her cheeks, but she forced her eyes to remain on his face. ‘I wouldn’t call it “thin”,’ she said stiffly. ‘I’m slender, that’s all. I always have been.’
‘You’re skin and bones,’ Logan said flatly. ‘You haven’t been eating properly.’ His mouth narrowed. ‘I don’t think you’ve been sleeping well, either. There are shadows under your eyes.’
She drew a deep breath. ‘I appreciate your concern. And I’m grateful for everything you’ve done. But that doesn’t give you the right to criticise me.’
A smile flickered across his face. ‘Is that what you think I’m doing, Talia?’
The question, and the way he looked at her, sent a flutter along her skin. ‘You—you still haven’t told me how you found me,’ she said.
He shrugged his shoulders. ‘I told Diamond I had to get in touch with you. He gave me your address.’
Something seemed to die within her. So, she’d been right. Logan was here to try and convince her to work for him again. She’d known that all along, but hearing him admit it so readily was painful.
You’re a fool, Talia. Did you really think that all this meant anything? He wants you to accept his job offer, that’s all.
As for the shopping and the cooking, well, Logan wasn’t the sort of man who could sit on his hands. He must have been bored to death, waiting for her to recover enough so that he could talk to her.
‘Yes,’ she said quietly. ‘I spoke with John yesterday. He told me about your proposition.’
‘He wouldn’t tell me where you were, at first.’ He took his hands from his pockets and placed them flat on the fireplace mantel. ‘I told him he’d damned well better, or I’d cancel every last contract Diamond had signed with me.’
Talia closed her eyes. It wasn’t hard to imagine him making such a threat. He always got what he wanted—he’d told her that at the start. OK, that took care of the preliminaries, she thought, while the room filled with silence. Now he would ask her to reconsider his job offer. He would tell her she was being stupid, that they worked well together.
Her breath caught. He might even say more than that. She’d seen what was in his eyes when he’d held her, she’d heard the thickness in his voice when he’d told her she was still beautiful. He was still attracted to her. Or perhaps he’d become attracted all over again. Whichever it was, the fire that had gone out—not for her, never for her—was rekindling for him. But she would never let it flame to life. Never.
She had lost him, she had lost his child, and the pain of both losses had almost paralysed her. She could not—she would not—go through such anguish ever again. If she did, she would surely die.
Slowly, carefully, Talia pushed the blankets aside and rose to her feet. ‘Logan.’ Her voice was low. He turned slowly, his eyes narrowing when he saw her standing there.
‘What are you doing?’ he demanded. ‘You can’t—’
‘I want you to leave,’ she said quietly. ‘I’m grateful for everything you did—tending me, cooking for me, all of it—but…’
His lips drew back from his teeth. ‘Did I ask for your gratitude?’ A pulse leaped in her throat as he covered the distance between them in two strides. ‘At least the scene’s been rewritten,’ he said angrily. ‘Last time, you ran out. This time, you’re sending me away.’
Talia swallowed drily. ‘I didn’t run out. I only did what—what we both knew had to be done. And now, I’m telling you—’
His voice cut across her. ‘Why are you still wearing the amulet I bought you?’
Her hand went to the figa. ‘That has nothing to do with—’
She gasped as he reached out and caught hold of her shoulders. ‘Do you know what happened when I was undressing you last night?’ His eyes searched hers. ‘You looked at me, and you smiled and whispered my name; you put your palm against my lips, the way you used to when we made love.’
She drew in her breath, then expelled it sharply. ‘That’s a lie.’
‘Is it?’
‘Yes.’ Talia touched her tongue to her lips. ‘And even—even if it weren’t,’ she whispered, ‘even if it weren’t, you can’t hold me responsible for something I did while I was delirious.’
‘What can I hold you responsible for, then?’ Logan’s jaw set grimly. ‘How about turning my life upside-down?’
‘Me? I turned your—’ She broke off, torn between the desire to laugh and to cry.
His fingers bit into her flesh. ‘Why did you run away?’
‘I told you, I didn’t run.’ She forced herself to look into his eyes. ‘You wanted me to go, Logan. You as much as told me so.’
His mouth twisted in pain. ‘Yes,’ he said finally, ‘I suppose I did. That’s the reason I didn’t go after you—I knew what we had had to end. I figured a clean break was the best kind.’
Talia nodded. ‘And now you’ve changed your mind. You—you need me in Dallas. And you even think…’ Her voice broke. ‘You even think you m
ight—you might want to pick up where we left off—’
‘No!’ The word was torn from his throat. Logan’s eyes turned the colour of Arctic ice. ‘No,’ he repeated softly, ‘not that. Never that.’
‘I’m glad we agree,’ she whispered. ‘So you might as well leave, Logan. Because I’m not—I’m never…’ To her horror, tears rose in her eyes. She felt them hang on her lashes, then begin to slide down her cheeks.
Logan made a choked sound, then groaned her name. ‘Talia,’ he said, and his arms went around her so tightly that she felt as if the breath were being forced from her lungs. ‘Talia,’ he whispered again, and he held her to him.
She sighed as she leaned into his comforting strength. It felt so good to be in his arms, so right, as if she had returned home after a long time in a cold and distant place. His hands stroked her, soothed her, while she inhaled his familiar scent, luxuriated in the steady beat of his heart beneath her ear. Talia knew she had to push him away, she had to tell him to leave and never return. But her life stretched ahead, the years lonely and barren. Surely she was entitled to these precious moments that would be all she would have of him after today.
Logan put her from him, then cupped her face and lifted it to his. The harsh pressure of his fingers branded her. ‘Tell me something,’ he said.
There was a silken thread in his voice that made her wary. ‘What?’
‘What are you doing here?’
She looked at him blankly. ‘I don’t understand.’
‘When Diamond told me you’d quit your job, that you’d moved to a place like this, I thought he was crazy.’ Logan’s eyes were intent on hers. ‘He said he couldn’t make you change your mind, not even when he dangled a vice-presidency as bait.’
Talia’s eyes slid from his. ‘I—I wanted a change, that’s all. Everybody’s entitled to—’
‘Why did you walk away from everything you’d worked for?’
‘Because—because…’ Her words faded away. Because I love you, she thought, because nothing I’d worked for meant anything without your love. She swallowed hard and raised her eyes to his. ‘I—I know it’s hard for you to understand,’ she said carefully. ‘But—but I realised—I realised I didn’t really want the things I’d—’
Logan’s fingers curved into her flesh. ‘Weren’t you ever going to tell me about our baby?’ he said in a rough whisper.
The question staggered her. He knew! But how? How?
‘Answer me, dammit!’ His face twisted with pain. ‘Didn’t you think I had the right to know?’
Talia moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue. ‘How—how did you find out?’ she asked in a faint voice.
‘The insurance company screwed up. They sent your medical forms to Sao Paulo a couple of days ago instead of to Diamond. Now answer me, dammit! Why didn’t you send for me? Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?’
She stared at him. ‘Why would I have done that? I knew—I knew how you felt about—about having children. You didn’t even want any when you were married; why would you—?’
Logan grimaced. ‘What the hell are you talking about?’
Tears flooded her eyes again and she blinked them away. ‘Children—children are just an impediment to a man like you.’
‘God!’ The single word was a cry of anguish rather than a curse. His face was pale, his eyes dark pools. ‘We lived together for two months,’ he said softly, ‘but you never really knew a thing about me, did you?’
Talia swallowed hard. ‘I knew enough,’ she whispered brokenly. ‘You have no room in your life for anything but the empire you’ve created. That’s why your wife left you and I don’t blame her. It must have been hell to love you but to always be second to your work, hell to love you but never lay claim to your heart.’
She was crying now, saying all the things she’d sworn never to tell him, but it didn’t matter any more. Her pride was gone, lost in the pain of loving and losing him. Logan could think what he wanted of her, but he would finally hear the truth.
‘I tried,’ she sobbed. ‘I tried so hard. I knew you didn’t want me to intrude on your life—you didn’t want to talk about anything that mattered, or spend a quiet evening home, or—or play cards or Scrabble or watch a crummy old movie on television…’
‘Talia. Talia, my darling—’
‘The worst of it is that I’d never wanted those things, either.’ She rubbed her hand roughly across her eyes. ‘Not until I met you. Not until I—until I…’ Her voice broke. ‘The only place you wanted me was in your bed, Logan, and after a while that broke my heart. I know you can’t understand…’
He cursed softly, then pulled her to him. His mouth dropped to hers and he silenced her with a kiss so intense, so filled with sorrow and passion, that she moaned against his lips. But then she put her hands against his chest and pushed him away.
‘What are you trying to prove?’ she whispered. ‘That I still want you? Yes. I do. I always will. But it’s not enough. Don’t you see? I—I wanted—I want so much more, I want… I wanted—’
She broke off, sobbing, and Logan cradled her in his arms, gentling her with little kisses and whispers.
‘Talia, Talia,’ he murmured, ‘how we’ve wronged each other.’ Gently, he held her from him and his eyes fastened on hers. ‘I know what you wanted. You wanted my love.’ He smiled and stroked damp tendrils of hair from her cheeks, his thumbs easing lightly over her skin. ‘And I wanted yours, darling. I wanted it more than I’d ever imagined.’
Talia’s eyes widened. ‘You—you wanted…?’
He nodded. ‘Yes. But I was afraid to tell you. I thought it would scare you off. You’d made it clear that you wanted your career, not me. The only time you let me get close to you was when we made love. You were so giving in my arms, so loving…’
She looked at him. ‘But—but that’s how I felt about you, too. But you—you were so closed to me at other times… And we were never alone. You never wanted to be.’
‘I was sure I’d say something that would give the game away.’ He smiled crookedly. ‘After a while, I couldn’t keep up the charade, not even in bed. I wanted to tell you what you meant to me, not just show you. But I knew that, if I did, you’d run away. So I began to think up excuses to avoid making love to you.’
She was almost afraid to breathe. Was it true? Had he been hiding his feelings from her, just as she’d hid hers from him? ‘Do you love me, Logan?’ she whispered.
The look in his eyes made her heart swell with happiness.
‘Yes,’ he said, kissing her gently. ‘I love you more than I ever thought a man could love a woman. I want us to make a home together, to have children…’
Time stilled while she looked deep into his eyes. There was a vulnerability in them she had never seen before.
‘I—I can’t believe it. You never wanted those things. That’s why your wife left you—you had no time for her, you only had time for your business.’
Logan’s mouth narrowed. ‘Yes, that’s the story she told, and I let her. But the truth is that I only buried myself in my work after our marriage collapsed.’
‘Then—then why did your marriage fail?’
‘Lenore married me because I gave her an entr;aaee into a world she’d always coveted. She was fascinated with money, power, the social merry-go-round.’ A muscle knotted in his jaw. ‘I didn’t know that at first, of course. When we were dating and I talked about the things I wanted—a real home, children—she always smiled and said yes, it all sounded wonderful.’
Talia’s eyes swept over his face. ‘But she didn’t mean it?’
Logan shook his head. ‘She had no interest in that kind of life. I suppose she thought she’d bring me around after we were married. She was a beautiful, clever woman, the kind who says one thing but means another.’ He smiled. ‘You impressed me by being the opposite.’ He laughed when her brows rose enquiringly. ‘Oh, you’re beautiful,’ he said, kissing the tip of her nose. ‘Very beautiful. And bri
ght. But you were honest about your ambitions. You knew what you wanted—’
‘Until I met you,’ she said, smiling. ‘Do you remember when we met? You told me you liked the way I turned my emotions on and off. But it wasn’t like that, Logan. What I felt for you terrified me; I knew, somehow, that my life was never going to be the same again. I’d planned it all so carefully, you see, and then suddenly, there you were, ruining everything.’
Logan laughed softly. ‘You ruined everything for me, too, sweetheart. I’d sworn I’d never fall in love again—and then, there you were. My only safety lay in thinking you could control the situation.’ He smiled a little. ‘Because I sure as hell couldn’t.’
Talia leaned back in his arms and looked up at him. ‘And that day in Rio? We had such a lovely time until—’
‘I think that was the day I realised I was falling in love with you. I was afraid to face the truth, so I tried to trivialise what I felt.’ His hands cupped her shoulders. ‘It didn’t work, though,’ he said. ‘All that happened was that I fell deeper and deeper in love with you.’ His eyes grew dark. ‘I was so angry at you that last night in Sao Paulo, Talia. I knew it was foolish, but all the time I was away, I let myself play mind-games. I imagined you waiting for me at the apartment, eager for my return, as if I’d become the centre of your life, just as you’d become the centre of mine. But when I got there…’
‘I was out. And when I finally showed up, I said I’d had more important things to do than wait for you.’ She sighed. ‘How terribly we’ve misunderstood each other, Logan, how…’ She fell silent suddenly, and a terrible sadness wrenched at her heart. ‘Logan,’ she whispered, pressing her cheek to his chest. ‘Can you forgive me for losing our baby?’
‘There’s nothing to forgive, darling. I’m just sorry you went through such an awful thing alone.’
Tears slid from beneath Talia’s closed lashes. ‘I—I thought about—about getting rid of it,’ she said softly. ‘But I would never have done it. I loved our baby. I…’
Logan tilted her face up and kissed her. It was a kiss filled with promise and tenderness, forgiveness and joy. When it ended, she was smiling.
Blackmailed Into Her Boss's Bed Page 17
