It felt strange to discuss the penthouse in front of the awaiting agent. “I think you could live here.”
“With you?”
I smiled at Mr. Lemmings and then lowered my voice. “With me?”
Gabriel addressed the realtor. His smile could melt rock. “Could you give us a minute please?”
“Of course! Please take your time.” Mr. Lemmings withdrew further into the foyer, giving us a relative amount of privacy. It wasn’t enough for my love.
Gabriel bypassed the living room and instead steered us back onto the patio. “You liked it out here.”
“I did.”
“What did you see?”
“A beautiful place.”
We walked along the wall, heels hitting the concrete in unison. “I see you here.”
I eyed him with amused suspicion. “I know you. What are you really asking me, Gabriel?”
“I’m not asking anything. I’m just commenting on the fact that I imagine you being here.”
His words made me giddy with pleasure. I couldn’t stop the corners of my mouth from expressing my joy. “I imagined you living next door to me.”
“You did not! I barged right through your precious boundaries!” Gabriel spun me. With his back against the wall, he tugged me until I stood right in front of him. “How about this? We’ll split our time between the apartments and here.”
I bit my lip. I wasn’t sure what to say. Should I quibble on the details, harass him verbally just because I could? Or should I acquiesce because that’s who I should be with him?
Non-bitchy and submissive?
Gretchen’s words came back to me like spell.
“…the majority of submissives I’ve encountered are the most strong-willed, independent, stubborn people I’ve ever known.”
“Gabriel?”
“Yes, baby?”
“I like the idea of splitting time with you. I still need my own space though. Is that okay with you?” I hoped it would be because I couldn’t see myself giving up my apartment and permanently moving in with him. I’d come a long way, but I wasn’t quite there yet.
“I guess I can accept that…for now.” Gabriel graced with me a Cheshire grin. He enfolded me in his arms and squeezed. “Do you want to keep looking or is this the one?”
“I’m surprised you’d be willing to sign the papers just off one showing.”
“Sometimes one is all it takes. You’ve taught me that very well.”
I felt the happy blush slide across my face. Could my mouth permanently freeze in the shape of a goofy smile? “Oh.”
“Oh, indeed.” Gabriel brought my hands up to his mouth and kissed the knuckles. “Wait here for me.”
I nodded and watched him walk back inside. All powerful frame and sinewy grace, he was such a magnificent man that I still couldn’t believe we’d come back together. Addicted, I could only wait until the object of my growing obsession joined me again.
Minutes passed and the sky grew darker. I shivered but focused instead on the few stars shining high above. Eventually night extinguished dusk. Still I stood in place for an indeterminable time. Waiting.
Footfalls finally sounded. I didn’t turn around even when I felt him at my back. Tremors ran through me again, becoming stronger and stronger still. I stiffened, doing my best to minimize the arrhythmic twitching.
“You’re cold.”
“I’m fine.” I fixed my stare on a flashing light somewhere far across the horizon. Instinct told me to not to turn around.
The heat from Gabriel’s large hands penetrated my shoulders. He squeezed them once. “Why didn’t you come inside?”
“You asked me to wait.”
“And so you did…even though you were uncomfortable. How long would you have waited?”
I focused my gaze on the buildings below us. The importance of my answer doubled my shivering. “As long as it took.”
Gabriel hugged me to him, his breath warming the nape of my neck. “I watched you. I watched you stand here and I wondered, ‘Why is she doing this? Why would she suffer the cold, standing still as a statue, and just wait?’”
The silence spun longer. Finally I asked, “Do you want an answer?”
“I do.”
“Because you asked me to. That’s why.”
Gabriel covered my eyes with his hand. I startled. “Ssh, Emma,” he murmured in a soft, soothing tone. “It’s okay.”
Sunk in a world without light, I leaned against him, letting my relaxed posture speak for me instead. His cologne comforted me nearly as much as his touch. Blind to everything but him, it was easy to believe we were the only two people left on the planet.
How lovely.
“I appreciate what you did for me, Emma. You suffered rather than risk going against my wishes. You were so very sweet to do that for me. I appreciate it far more than you’ll ever know.”
Gabriel’s silken voice wound me tightly to him. “I’m glad you liked it,” I murmured and then wanted to kick myself for the uninspired reply. Before I could worry about it too long, his lips found my sensitive ear lobe. I drew my breath in sharply.
“You like that, do you?” he purred and did it again.
My knees buckled, but Gabriel caught me with one arm. “What else would you do for me, Emma?”
This was it. The moment I’d been waiting for was finally upon me. “I would do a-anything.”
“Mmm…anything. That just opens up a world of possibility, doesn’t it?”
Gabriel flicked his tongue beneath my ear. I couldn’t control my arching back. Hot sensation hit my pleasure spots. I might’ve gasped his name. I wasn’t sure. All I knew was that his tongue felt divine.
“Are you sure you want this from me, Emma?”
I licked lips gone dry. “Yes, I do.”
“You realize what I’m asking from you?”
Gabriel opened the door. All I had to do was walk through. This was my moment. No turning back. Strange, but I didn’t feel fear. Anticipation, but not fear.
“Yes, I understand. I’m ready.”
“Are you truly?” He inhaled my scent. “I had the best of intentions when it came to you, Emma. I wasn’t going to be a bad boy. I was going to be so very good, but then I see you standing out here in the cold, suffering just for me. And you know what it did to me?”
Hanging upon every single, seductive syllable, I managed to answer softly. “What did it do to you?”
“It made me hard.”
Gabriel’s growl went straight to my core. I clenched, mourning the empty space and wishing he was inside me right then and there. Standing there in his embrace, I didn’t think I’d ever been this excited.
I didn’t know what Gabriel would do to me and I loved the uncertainty in this instance.
“I wasn’t sure if you could really do this, Emma, but you’ve convinced me to move things faster. Know I didn’t plan on doing things this way, baby. I was going to go so very slow, so slow that you barely knew what was happening. But I can’t.”
I licked lips gone dry. “It’s okay. I can change and learn.”
“You’ll learn, but I don’t want you to change. Not really.”
“Then what do you want?”
“I want you to bend.” Gabriel suckled the sensitive spot behind my ear before whispering, “You have to know that I can be a strict master. Sometimes that will require me to be firm with you.”
Another shiver possessed my body. Gabriel mistook it for fear.
“It’s not too late to back out now, Emma. Just say the word.”
“No, I don’t want that.” I shook my head slowly, careful not to dislodge his hand.
Gabriel’s breath exited in a soft whoosh. I echoed it. “All right then. Let me set the groundwork for you, Emma. In my spaces, I have total control. Total control. I’ll expect you to submit to my rules, my way of being. While I’ll always adore you, during those times we won’t be equal. I will tolerate more from you at the beginning, but eventually I’ll
expect you to obey my rules without pause. Can you agree to it?”
I knew if I spent too long thinking about it I’d lose courage. I’d over-think it, questioning every step of the way and defeating the whole point of this exercise.
I tried to draw a deep breath. My heart was racing so fast. “I agree to it, Gabriel.”
His arms closed around me. “We’ll start a little bit at a time, all right? I know this is all new to you. It’s all new to me too.”
“Yes, Gabriel.”
He kissed my neck before biting down. I cried out, still managing to hear him ask, “I want to play with you, Emma. Can I?”
SEVEN
My hands fluttered about, useless as they struggled to find a place to grip.
“Can I, Emma?”
Excitement threaded low in my belly. My patience was definitely about to be rewarded. Now that the moment was on me, I wondered if I had the guts to go through with whatever he wanted me to do.
It’s now or never.
I took a deep breath and murmured in a shaky, thin voice, “Yes, Gabriel. You can play with me.”
“You’re afraid, sweetheart.” He kissed the side of my neck, paying close attention to the pulsing vein.
“No! I’m not afraid of you…I’m just…nervous…that I won’t know what to do.”
I felt the tenderness in his tone like a physical caress. “Just do what you’re told and you’ll be fine. Can you do that for me, Emma?”
Dear God, I could do whatever he wanted as long as he spoke to me just so. His warm silken voice inspired dark imagination and a voracious longing for something I couldn’t yet imagine but so desperately wanted.
“Yes, Gabriel.”
“Oh, that’s so very good, dear girl. Keep your eyes closed. You’re doing so well, Emma.”
“Yes,” I moaned, shameless in my escalating anticipation.
“Okay. I’m going to take my hand away. I want you to keep your eyes closed, no matter what.”
“Yes.” It became the most important word in the world. “Yes, Gabriel.”
“So lovely,” he breathed against my neck. “You’re so sweet and lovely, did you know that?”
I sighed again, thoroughly enjoying Gabriel’s praise. “Thank you.”
His smile imprinted on me through a simple movement of lips and tongue. Gabriel released me. I missed his touch already. “Turn around, Emma, and remember to keep your eyes closed.”
My feet obeyed him slow and steady. With hands held out along my side, I felt better prepared for my voluntary blindness. Gabriel swiftly stripped that away from me.
“Put your arms down. I see your frown, baby. That is not becoming of my sweet girl. You did say you’d do anything for me, didn’t you?”
Nervousness made my voice thinner. I couldn’t let my stupid fear ruin this. “I did, Gabriel. I’m sorry…it’s just that…I’m…”
“Put. Your. Arms. Down. Now.”
The aggressive bite in his tone had me obeying immediately. Gabriel was all honey and silk again. “Good girl. Now listen for my voice and walk towards me.”
The hundreds of square feet of concrete surrounding us made me leery of taking even one step forward. I didn’t relish the idea of having scraped knees and palms because I tripped.
“What are you waiting for, Emma?”
I bit my lip. We’d just started and already I balked. I could do this. With furrowed brow, I carefully shuffled one foot forward.
“That’s good,” he encouraged warmly. “Now take a real step, my dear.”
I flexed my wrists, fighting the desire to use them for balance.
“Are you afraid you’ll fall, Emma?”
Nodding, I stood in place. Surely he’d laugh and tell me my test was over. I was wrong.
“We haven’t gone over any rules—yet—but it’s never too early to start. I expect a verbal answer when I ask you a question, Emma. It’s a sign of discourtesy when you don’t.”
“I’m sorry.” My throat prickled with disappointment. He didn’t raise his voice or berate me, but the fact that he had to say anything meant I did something wrong. Type A personality to the core, I hated doing anything incorrectly. It shamed me, made me feel incompetent and the lowest of the low. I recognize it was an extreme reaction to the circumstances, but I despised it! I clenched my lids tight and took a shallow breath.
“You’re not going to cry so soon, my love, are you?” His question didn’t intend to mock me, but it had the same effect. I loathed having my weaknesses pointed out. Did it mean I was arrogant? Probably. Over the years I grew to think that if I could control everything around me, I’d never make a mistake.
“What do you think? Of course I’m not going to cry!” My snapping answer didn’t please Gabriel as I was soon to learn. I resisted the urge to peek when I heard his deliberate footfalls come my way.
“Emma, my love, rule number two—you are not to speak to me in such a nasty tone when you are under my control. I won’t tolerate it. Disobey and you will suffer the consequences for displeasing me. Do I make myself clear?”
“Yes, Sir. I’m sorry, Sir.” I flamed scarlet when the reverent title popped out of my mouth. I hoped it mollified Gabriel, especially because I was starting off as a rotten play companion.
“Very good. Now walk.”
Frustration rose high. I really didn’t like this despite my desire to please him. Gabriel knew I was scared of falling. He knew it enough to ask and he knew it was a valid fear. He insisted on taking away my sight and then my only defense against falling.
Against failure.
The cold finally had a visual effect on me. A violent shudder possessed my frame, ripping through me and setting my teeth to chatter.
“Why aren’t you doing what I told you to do, Emma?”
“I’m going to. I am. I just…” my voice trailed off lamely. Again, didn’t I just agree to do anything for him? Now when he’d finally asked something that was probably so little, so benign, I already balked.
It’s okay if you fall here. It’s not going to kill you. Perspective.
I swallowed a final burst of petty anger. Tipping my chin up, I inhaled and took a step forward. And then another. And another. If I fell, I fell.
But I wasn’t going to let that happen. And neither was Gabriel.
His hands quickly closed around my arms. “You did so beautifully, Emma. I couldn’t be happier.”
I didn’t open my eyes. Instead, I tilted my head to the side like an inquisitive pet and asked, “Even though I had a rough start?”
“Especially because you had a rough start.” His mouth molded to mine, tongue sliding past my lips with slow sensual flicks. I wanted to sink my fingers into his shoulders and press my body against his. Instead, I stood statue-still.
“Why aren’t you looking at me or touching me?” he asked a long minute later.
Again I felt that I misjudged the situation. My incompetence was bound to have me in tears sooner than not. I clenched my eyes shut, unable to look at the expression on his face. “I’m sorry…I thought…you told me to keep my eyes closed and my arms down and so I did. If I wasn’t supposed to do that —”
Gabriel cupped my face with both hands and kissed me savagely. I loved it. His tongue thrust into mouth aggressively, dominating me until my body’s every reaction centered on him. I wanted him. I let out muffled moans of violent pleasure as he possessed me. He cursed lewdly and then picked me up.
“Emma, I have to have you. Now.”
I balled my fists up and buried them into my lap. I couldn’t help but wonder what Mr. Lemmings thought of our lusty behavior. I didn’t have a chance to ask Gabriel if the realtor was still inside because my lover continued to kiss me senseless.
We entered the quiet space, mouths locked onto one another. Gabriel walked until my back hit a column separating the living room from the foyer. Still I kept my hands to myself and my eyes shut. Gabriel guided my thighs to open wide on either side of him. When his hand snak
ed beneath my bunched skirt, I finally pulled my mouth away to whisper, “Did Mr. Lemmings leave?”
“Ssh.”
“Gabriel—”
He cut me off with another kiss. Gabriel’s teeth sank into my bottom lip for a lusty bite. “If you’re still coherent enough to ask, then I’m not doing my job properly.”
Gabriel passionately attacked my mouth, neck, and breasts. Between the pillar and the steady arm holding me up, I was safe to go limp and experience his caresses.
It was feral, beautiful, and glorious.
I moaned shamelessly, feeling overcome by just how much Gabriel sent my nerve endings into overload. Still I didn’t open my eyes or touch him. No matter how much I panted or cried out his name, I didn’t disobey his command. The more I obeyed, the wilder Gabriel became.
A jagged tear of fabric, an impatient pause as he ripped open a foil packet, and then Gabriel filled me completely. We both groaned loudly as my body stretched to accommodate his size. I wished I could look into his eyes. Instead, I dropped my head to rest on his shoulder.
Gabriel drove into me hard. I snapped upright.
“Don’t hide your face from me, Emma. I want to see everything while I’m inside you.”
The raw words excited me. So did the command. I could feel a flood of heat and wetness between my thighs.
“Liked that, didn’t you?” he purred against my swollen lips.
Although a bit embarrassed that he noticed my physical reaction, I managed to answer him with a moan. “Yes, Gabriel.”
My lover rewarded me with several deep thrusts. I wasn’t going to last long. Remembering how Gabriel denied me the first time we made love, I tried to keep my building orgasm to myself. I was so close, just a few more strokes and I’d be in heaven.
“I should take my belt to you right here and now, Emma, you naughty girl.”
An expression of guilt surely sped across my face. “What do you mean?” Suddenly, I was very glad Gabriel couldn’t look into my eyes.
“We both know what you’re trying to do.” Gabriel’s hips moved slow and steady. I barely held back a moan when he leaned closer and whispered in my ear, “Those belong to me, Emma. I decide when and if you get to come.”
Bad for You (Mad, Bad, & Dangerous to Love) Page 8
