by April Marcom
“Of course. Exit the bathroom and turn right. Then take the first door on your left. Go through the door in front of you and take the stairway up four floors. You will enter the male Cinders’ sleeping quarters.”
“Can you also tell me where to find Luke Knight?”
“Let me see.” Neon green lines began drawing a floor plan against a black background. Hallways crossed here and there and little rooms came off of each one. One of these began blinking and Connie said, “Once you’ve entered the fourth floor, he will be the twenty-second room on your left.”
“Thanks. Kristine Con, return.”
My heart pounded as I left the bathroom and took the first door on the left. I kept thinking a Cinder would catch me sneaking around their terrain and call all the others out of bed to jump me, even though I knew no one could see me.
On the other side of the door, I was relieved to find myself standing alone in a long hallway. The only doors were the one behind me and the one at the very end. So I followed Connie’s directions and exited through the other door.
I entered the base of a winding stairway lit by torches rising along the wall and I began to climb. As I stepped onto a small second floor landing, I wondered if the North Haven girls were sleeping right on the other side of it. Curiously, I inched the door open outwardly, only to be met by a solid wall. When I reached out to touch it, it shifted with the pressure of my hand. It was only fabric. I managed to pull it to the side enough to see the very dark girls’ living quarters on the other side. A dresser was pressed against the bottom of a tapestry, so that meant this secret door was right beside a girl named Liz’s bed, since the only tapestry I’d ever seen in there was behind her dresser. As I let it go and closed the door, I realized knowing about this could prove useful one day.
“This is it,” I said when I reached the fourth door. I took a deep breath before opening it just enough to get through, because this time I knew there was a very real possibility I would find someone on the other side. But the dim hallway, stretching farther than I could see, was empty.
After walking past three doors, the fourth one opened and I found myself face-to-face with a bulky guy about my height. Petrified, it took me a minute to remember he couldn’t see me. I moved out of the way a split second before he would have walked into me. He yawned and let out a great belch. Then we went in opposite directions.
I tried really hard to calm down. No one can see me...No one can see me... But it was hard.
When I reached the twenty-second door and opened it very slowly, praying I’d counted correctly, I realized it was too dark to see anything inside. My breath became short as I pulled my con out with shaky fingers. “Kristine Con, silent,” I whispered as it began to open. Its light revealed a tiny room with bunk beds against one side of the wall.
Shadows hid the identity of the guy lying in the one underneath, but the above bed was empty, so I spun around—terrified—looking for the missing Cinder. The fact that I couldn’t find him only scared me more, because it felt like he was always standing right behind me.
I licked my dry lips as I moved closer to the bed. If that was Luke, he would protect me. “Turn around,” I told my con. A big shirtless guy was lying on his stomach with his head facing away, so I couldn’t be sure it was him.
Then I saw the two posters on the wall beside the end of the beds. The picture of Luke with purple flames burning at the bottom hung under a poster of Titus. This had to be the right room. And if the empty bed belonged to Titus, then he wouldn’t be returning to it anytime soon.
As I gently sat down beside Luke, my eyes were drawn to something pink. One of his arms hung over the bed’s edge beside me, and the other was clutching a wad of something—a piece of pink clothing, it looked like. Instead of waking him up and talking to him about what weighed so heavy on my heart, I leaned over and reached for his far hand to take what was inside and have a better look. All of a sudden, I felt the rising fear—greater than the one I’d felt all the way to his room or the one of having to go home early—that it belonged to another girl.
As I tried to pull it out from under his hand, he let go of it and grabbed my arm, shoving it against my chest as he rolled over and grabbed my throat, pinning me against the end of his mattress. I struggled and failed to draw breath. I could feel myself crying, but it felt like someone else was doing it, like I was hardly alive.
Luke’s eyes mirrored the horror he saw in mine as he recognized me. He let go to pull me into his lap. “You should never sneak up on a Cinder,” he said.
“How can you sleep when we might never see each other again after tomorrow?” was all I could think to say, tears falling against my chest as I turned to stare at the pink thing lying on his bed...dancer’s leggings, perhaps...
“Because of this.” He leaned over to pick up the bit of pink and hand it to me.
In spite of how faded it was, I recognized my old v-neck shirt as I held it up in front of me. The white number seventeen on the front was cracked and the whole thing was probably way too small for me now, but there it was—the shirt I remembered going missing not long before my mother died.
“Where’d you get this?” I asked.
“I took it from you years ago. It was on the bathroom floor when I was over one night. It always looked so good on you...I couldn’t help myself. There’ve been times when that was the only thing keeping my head straight.”
“And you sleep with it?” Picturing him sleeping with my old shirt every night kind of gave me a warm, glowy feeling.
“On the really bad nights. I always picture myself running into you and things working out like this...you loving me back...”
“Yeah—” I drew in a breath and let out a small cry. “—and now I might have to leave you. What then? What if there’s never another Winter Competition and I never see you again?”
Luke twisted my hair around his fingers and laid his hand against the back of my head. “Then I’ll take out one of our jets and come see you every weekend. You could pretend to be sick and stay here some weeks in between. No one would ever know if you wear your shadow suit.”
“But I don’t wanna do that. I want to see you every day and go to the Christmas dance with you. I liked being seen with you as your girlfriend this morning.”
“I know it sucks, but we would have had to do this in a couple of months, anyway. Were you planning to break up with me then?”
“No, I’ve been trying not to think about it.”
Luke took my face in his hands and kissed each of my eyelids lovingly. “Look at it this way. No matter how crappy being separated is, it won’t be half as bad as the past three years have been. At least we’ll each know where the other is and that we’ll be together again. Seriously, I’ll take a jet to see you every single weekend. I finally found you after years of pain and loneliness. And hearing you say you love me like I love you and getting to kiss you the way I’ve dreamed of almost every night since I met you is something I didn’t think I’d ever have. I’m not letting you go again. I survived five years without you; I can survive five measly days out of each week, as long as I know you’re mine.” He pulled my hand to his lips to kiss it and then wiped my tears away.
“Every weekend?” I asked. “You promise?”
“I promise.”
I leaned against his chest and reached around to hold him for a moment. “Can I stay long enough to watch a cartoon with you?” I knew it would help take my mind off the possible upcoming separation.
“Stay as long as you want. No one’s going to bother us with Titus in the hospital wing.” He pulled me with him as he lay down, leaning away just long enough to pull a blanket out from under the bed and pull it over us.
“Kristine Con, please play a Jimmy Neutron cartoon,” I said.
In spite of what he said, I clung to Luke as it began to play, knowing things wouldn’t be the same when I had to return to North Haven.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
~ Go or Stay ~
A few seconds later, I heard Connie’s voice say, “Good morning, North Haven High School students. The time is six a.m. Headmaster has asked that everyone meet in the dining hall in twenty minutes. Please don’t be late. Have a great day.”
“Six a.m.?” I moaned as I tried to reach up to rub my eyes. Something was wrapped around my front, holding my arms in place. I gasped as I fought to sit up, but the thing held me securely against a warm body.
“What’s the hurry?” Luke asked. He was lying on his stomach beside me, smiling as he watched me.
“I can’t believe I fell asleep. What if someone finds out I’m gone?”
“You only got here three hours ago. Everyone probably thinks you got up early.”
“Well, what if one of your people came in here and saw us together?”
“I was awake. If someone tried coming in here, I would have pulled the blanket over you and told them to get out.”
“You were awake all night?”
“Maybe.” He leaned up on his elbow and tucked my torso under him to kiss me. “I like watching you sleep.”
“Aw.” I was tempted to stay there beside him all day, but I knew Headmaster would wait for every student before he made the announcement. I leaned up to kiss him quickly before I scooted away from him and tried to climb out of bed.
Luke grabbed my arm and pulled me back down. “Stay a little longer. They won’t miss you.”
“My headmaster will—and don’t you want to know if I’m leaving today or not?”
He groaned and sat up. “I guess so...Why don’t we head downstairs together? It went well yesterday.”
“No, it didn’t. Everyone hated me.”
Luke went to turn on a lamp that sat on his dresser as I reached out to retrieve my con, still hovering in front of me.
“Bane’s on our side, and he’s one of the top six on the Cinder food chain,” he said.
“I don’t want everyone to know I have a shadow suit, though, and I need to brush my teeth and my hair and my bag’s in my room and—”
“All right, I get it. Girls have more stuff to do in the morning. I’ll just see you in there.”
I nodded and looked over at the poster of him on the wall. “Where can I get one of those?”
“You want one?”
“Yeah, it’s the best picture of you I’ve ever seen. Almost as gorgeous as the real thing.”
He smiled and came to hold me close. “You’re my fairytale come true, you know that?”
I reached up to run my fingers through his hair. It was incredibly soft when the gel wasn’t holding it all together. “This whole thing is a fairytale come true, a happily ever after.”
“I love you.”
“I lo—”
Someone knocked on the door. I drew away from Luke and turned my arms, disappearing into the shadows as someone opened the door. Spinner walked in. “Hey, Knight. Headmaster wants everyone in the dining hall.”
Luke grabbed a glass full of pens from off the dresser and threw the whole thing at him. Spinner ducked behind the door as glass shattered everywhere. “Did I tell you to come in?!” Luke shouted.
“I thought you’d be asleep. Just come downstairs when you’re dressed.” Spinner left the door open and turned to leave.
Luke shouted, “Don’t ever do that again!” before he slammed it shut.
He turned around and searched the seemingly empty room. “Kristine?” he whispered.
I opened my mouth to answer, but decided against it. I knew I should leave, but I wanted to stay and watch him. I wanted to watch him when he was completely unaware. The way he was watching me when I broke up with Roman. The way he was watching me sleep only minutes before.
Luke swore under his breath as he ripped the blanket from his bed and kicked it underneath. He went on aggressively kicking against the floor and the bed for another minute before he slumped down on the mattress. He rubbed his face and scratched the back his head before resting his mouth against his fist and staring at the ground for another minute.
Then he leaned back to pull my shirt out from under his pillow and hold it up in front of him. “Why couldn’t he have let you finish saying you love me?” he asked. He balled it up and pressed it against his face to inhale deeply. Next he held it against his cheek. His eyes closed as he pulled it so tight between his fists I was sure the fabric would rip.
“I won’t let them take you away this time.” A tear rolled over his cheek as he stood up and went to open the bottom dresser door. He took out a small safe and began turning the knob back and forth.
Very slowly, I inched my way across the room to see what was inside. Luke opened the little door as I got just close enough to see an old picture of me, which also came up missing not long before my mother’s death, part of a picture of his mom, and stacks and stacks of hundred dollar bills.
My shirt was shoved into the safe and locked in before Luke put it back in the drawer and pulled out a pair of pants and a black wife-beater. I turned away and stared at the blank wall of stone as he changed. That wasn’t the sort of invasion of privacy I was there to make.
While I waited I thought about how he’d held onto my things all these years, obsessing over me, while I’d let him slip painfully away. If he could love me that way, when he had no reason to believe he would ever see me again, I could only imagine how he could love me now. I smiled as what he said the night before began to make sense. Here or at North Haven, he would love me the way he had for all those years, when the only part I played in his life was that of a memory. Still, I could hardly bear the thought of leaving him, but I knew he would always come for me. He would always love me, no matter what happened.
When I heard the door open I looked over as Luke walked through it, fully dressed with his hair firmly in place. I counted to twenty before I left his room, barely catching sight of him as he turned a corner in the hallway.
Then I ran back to the girls’ quarters, which was now empty. Not good. I got dressed, did my makeup and hair, and grabbed my bag before I ran for the door.
Remembering how sad Luke was that I didn’t get to finish what I was saying earlier, I decided to write him a note as I walked down the stairs and through the hallway. Taking my notebook from my bag, I scribbled down, “I love you, Luke Knight, now and forever,” before I tore the paper out and folded it twice.
Already, I had to fight back tears. I was so afraid of what Headmaster was about to say.
My cheeks burned when I walked into the dining hall. Everyone sat crammed into seats, silently staring at me. There was absolutely nowhere to sit, and I couldn’t give Luke the note with everyone watching.
But I didn’t want to wait, either. What if we were escorted right out of there to pack our bags and board the jets? Luckily, he was sitting at the edge of the second table, as usual. His black eyes flashed enticingly as he winked at me when I passed him and casually dropped the note, hoping he’d notice and catch on. I heard his heavy foot fall over it and knew it was safe with him.
Harmony scooted back in her seat and held an arm out for me when I reached her. I pressed my stomach against the table’s edge as I sat in her lap. “Where’ve you been?” she whispered.
“I got up early and went to find Luke. Connie gave me a hand.”
“Now that we’re all here,” Headmaster began from the other end of the room, confirming my fear that I was indeed the last person to get there, “my staff and I were up half the night, discussing your varied responses. We received a great many suggestions on how to best handle our current situation, many of which will be put into full force shortly. As far as the votes for whether or not we stay, it’s clear what North Haven prefers. An astounding ninety percent voted one way.” Headmaster paused to clear his throat.
I thought my heart would rip right out of my chest with how hard it was pounding. “Please,
please, please,” I whispered.
“North Haven High School will be staying.” Immediately the room thundered and echoed with excited screaming.
My vision blurred as I was unable to keep from crying any longer. We were staying. I smiled and pressed my palms against my eyes, only picking up my head to look back when I felt Harmony leaning away.
Someone standing beside her was reaching out for me. He grabbed me under my arms and lifted me right up into the air. I squeezed away the tears and saw Luke as he set me down in front of him. Then he took me in his arms and dipped me back. Kids whistled and whooped and a few guys from the Cinder end of the hall shouted, “GO, KNI-EET,” as he kissed me with all that he had.
* * * *
It was on the way out of the dining hall that Nadine began acting strange. With the uncertainties of the day, all North Haven training and physical fitness was canceled. And the Cinders were being kept after breakfast by their headmaster. As we walked through the doors, she looked back and grabbed Sassy and me by the elbows, pulling us to the right.
“Where are you going?” I asked.
“Harmony,” she hissed, and nodded for her to come that way, too.
“Do you need to go to the hospital wing?” Harmony asked her.
“Sure.”
Harmony and I raised an eyebrow at each other, but followed her through the long corridor to the stairs leading up and down. Nadine went up one flight before she turned left and pressed herself against the wall beside the stairway.
She motioned for us to do the same behind her. So we lined up and waited. Nadine stared at the landing until we saw someone—a short, freckled kid. It was Henry Lancaster, the boy we’d discovered on Harmony’s con who’d been stalking me at North Haven.
As Nadine grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, he began squirming around. He was small enough he almost looked like a little kid, except for the peach fuzz forming above his lips and his squeaky just-hit-puberty voice. “Why are you following Kristine?” Nadine demanded.
With everything that had been going on with Luke, I’d completely forgotten about him.
