by B. B. Hamel
“I keep trying to talk him out of it but he just keeps working.”
I frowned. My dad was barely ever home anymore. I was beginning to worry that he had a second family, or maybe that he was going to work himself to death. I wasn’t sure which was worse.
Cora finished the stack she was working on and plopped the three golden-brown cakes down on a plate in front of me.
“Oh no, you eat first,” I said.
“Already did. I was just finishing off the batter.”
I nodded thankfully and dug in without another word. I hadn’t realized how hungry I was until the soft, fluffy goodness hit my lips. I poured on some syrup and went to town.
Cora sat down across from me. “Hungry?”
“Starving,” I said with a mouthful of pancake.
She laughed. “I can make more if you want?”
“No, thanks. This is great.”
I continued to scarf down the cakes as Cora read the paper and drank her coffee. Finally, after every single delicious bite was gone, I leaned back in my chair. Cora grinned at me.
“Hey, how about taking a walk with me?” she asked.
“Okay, sure. Any place in mind?”
“Nope. Just a little hike around the property. I feel like I’ve barely seen you.”
“I know. Sorry I’ve been so busy at work.”
“Don’t apologize.” She stood up. “Meet me out back in ten?”
“See you there.”
The woods were cool and crisp as we crunched and squished our way along the path. We walked slowly, avoiding the puddles. We had clearly gotten a lot of rain overnight, though I hadn’t noticed at all.
Normally, my mornings would be spent curled up on the couch watching trashy TV and sipping coffee until I felt awake and human. I was admittedly a bit of a couch potato, but I loved being comfortable more than anything in the world. And I was really good at being comfortable.
But as we walked, I had to admit that the forest was beautiful early in the morning. It wasn’t too hot or humid, and the trees and leaves were sparkling slightly with the damp dew leftover from the rain.
“How is it being back?” Cora asked.
“It’s good. It feels like everything and nothing is different.”
She nodded. “This place does that to you sometimes. Feels like it never moves.”
“That can be a good thing, though, right?”
“Sure. Your father loves it.”
“You don’t?”
“I’ve grown used to it. And I love your father.”
“I can’t really say how I feel about it. I mean, I grew up here, so Ridgewood will always be special. But I’m noticing things that I never saw when I was a kid.”
“Welcome to being an adult.”
I laughed. “Being an adult sucks.”
“Tell me about it.” She made a face. “Anyway, this is the longest you’ve stayed here in a while.”
“Yeah, it is.”
“Do you like your job?”
“It’s okay. I don’t love being a waitress, but I like the place and the people.”
“That’s good. Working with good people can make a bad job bearable.”
“I’m sorry I haven’t been home more. You know I wanted to come back.”
“Don’t start with this again,” she said, waiving me off. “You did the right thing.”
“I know. I still feel guilty.”
She smiled. “Well don’t.” She paused and looked out across the forest. “How’s Reid doing?” she asked, changing the subject.
“I’m not sure, honestly,” I said cautiously.
“He didn’t come home again last night.”
“Does he do that often?”
“Sometimes. He’ll disappear for a few days, and if we ask where he’s been, he makes up some excuse.”
“Do you know where he goes?”
“I have guesses, but no, not really. Do you?”
“No, I’m sorry. I have no clue.”
“He can be . . . frustrating, that boy.”
I laughed. “That’s an understatement.”
“But he’s been so helpful,” she said, continuing. “I don’t want to come down on him because he’s done so much for us, but I just wish he would be a little more open.”
“He has done a lot,” I said, nodding.
“Too much, if you ask your father.” She glanced at me. “And don’t get me wrong, we’re not stupid. We know the amount of money he’s given us hasn’t come from climbing competitions alone.”
I looked at her, surprised at how open she was being, but decided to stay quiet. It wasn’t my place to tell her anything. Even if I was pissed at Reid, I still cared about him more than I wanted to admit. It wasn’t my place to tell his mother something he wanted kept secret.
“I just hope he isn’t doing something stupid, you know?” she said.
I nodded slowly. “I completely understand.”
“It’s good for him that you’re back. There aren’t many decent people left in this town. His friends are mostly . . . unsavory.”
“I’m not sure I’m much better.”
She laughed, taking my arm. “You certainly are, dear, believe me.”
I laughed with her and she let me go. We walked for a minute in silence.
“Can I ask you something?” I said suddenly.
“Sure, anything.”
“Why do you think Reid never moved out?”
She laughed. “He wanted to stay here and take care of me.”
“But you’re in remission.”
She nodded slowly. “I think there’s a part of him that’s afraid I’ll get sick again.”
“What do the doctors think?”
“They think I’m in better shape than they are.”
“He was really good,” I said softly. “At climbing, I mean.”
“He still is.”
“I know. I guess I just wish he was out there more.”
“So do I. Which is what I’m hoping you’ll help him with.”
“How am I going to do that?”
“He doesn’t open up to people very often, but I’ve seen him around you.”
I felt a stab of fear shoot through me. Could she possibly know about what’s going on between us? If she did, there was no way she’d be so calm about it.
“I don’t know,” I said.
“Maybe he’ll realize that I’m fine and that it’s time for him to live his own life. I love having him around, but he’s done enough. It’s time for him to move on.”
I had a huge range of emotions run through me as we walked back toward the house. I was warm and sweating slightly and definitely ready for a shower.
“This was good,” I said as we climbed up onto the back porch.
“Yeah. We have to do it again.” She paused. “And Becca?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t tell him what I said. I’m afraid it’ll just shut him off even more.”
“Okay. Promise.”
“Thanks, sweetie. I’m going to the store soon. Let me know if you need anything.”
I sat down on the back steps, looking out into the woods as she went back inside. I didn’t know what I wanted or where I was going, but she was right about Reid. He was closed off, although every once in a while I caught a glimpse of whatever was floating underneath his layers of cocky strength.
He was a protective asshole. But he was also one of the best people I had ever met. He was a drug smuggler, but he took care of his sick mom. He was one contradiction after another.
And the mere thought of him made my heart race.
I stood up and went back inside, kicking off my boots and pulling off my light jacket. I went upstairs, my mind already thinking about how great it was going to feel to take a long, hot shower.
I pushed open my bedroom door, not paying any attention as I pulled off my shirt and tossed it on the floor near the hamper.
“Hey, Becca.” I froze and looked up. Reid was sitti
ng on my bed, grinning hugely at me. “Nice tits.”
“Reid, what the hell?”
I crossed my arms, covering my breasts. I was wearing a bra and he’d seen it a hundred times, but still. I felt a little blush come over my cheeks.
“You look good.”
“What are you doing in here?”
He frowned suddenly and looked serious.
“We need to talk.”
“Can I put on a shirt first?”
“Only if you have to. But close the door.”
I pulled it shut. “Is this serious?”
His face said it all.
“Yeah, it is.”
I felt fear jolt through me.
Chapter Twenty: Reid
I woke up in the back of the van, wrapped in three layers of blankets but still cold, as the morning’s first light broke in through the front windshield.
I’d had dreams. I couldn’t remember all of them. In one, I was skidding down a steep hill, the ground turning to sand under my feet. In another, I was climbing up a sheer wall, apparently made of glass, and Becca was strapped to my back. In both cases, I knew that I would die if I ever stopped.
It took a minute to clear my head as the last dregs and images of the dreams began to fade away.
But in those moments, in the half-awake liminal space of partial sleep, where you’re both there and not quite there, your lizard brain running things on autopilot but your forebrain not quite woken up, your personality not fully booted up, the little voice that narrates your life and establishes memory eerily quiet, in that moment the plan came to me.
It wasn’t divine inspiration. It had been simmering there in some unconscious part of my skull, spooling along, my brain putting unused energy into the task of solving the problem, of fleshing it out. For some reason, it took being in that half-awake twilight state to really grasp it.
But when I did, it hit me like lightning.
Initially, I felt elated. For the first time in what felt like years, I could see an end to everything. There was a light at the end of the tunnel, and although it was still far away, it was there.
But soon, that first jolt of excitement began to wear thin as it dawned on me what exactly I was going to have to do.
I climbed out of the van, stretching my legs. I had a bit of a hike to get back home, but I needed to do it as fast as possible.
I had work to do.
I sat on Becca’s bed, looking up at her. My dick was already pushing at my pants, hard as fuck from seeing her breasts barely concealed by her black bra. I wanted to get up and tear it off her body so badly, but I resisted the urge.
She shut the door and looked at me. “Is this serious?”
I frowned. How exactly could I explain this to her without freaking her out completely? Her tits were so fucking distracting, but I really didn’t want her to cover them up.
“Yeah, it is.”
She nodded and grabbed a shirt from her drawer, pulling it over her head. I was still rock hard, but that made it a little bit easier to concentrate.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
“I’m fine. I’m good, actually.”
“Then what’s going on?”
I stood and nodded at the bed. “You should sit.”
She sighed and sat down in the spot I had just vacated. I walked a few feet away and leaned against the wall.
“Spit it out.”
“I need your help.”
I paused for a second and let that sink in. She narrowed her eyes.
“With what?”
“My mob problem.”
“I’m not sure what I can do for that.”
I crossed my arms, still deciding how much I wanted to tell her. “I found something out recently about the Blue.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Really? What?”
“I don’t want to go into details, but the guys I’ve been working for own that place.”
“Seriously? I’ve never seen them around.”
“Remember that Jay guy I pulled you away from last night?”
“Yeah, I remember. Asshole.”
I ignored the insult. “He’s the leader of the mob down here. Are you sure you’ve never seen him in there before?”
I watched as she screwed up her face, trying to remember. “I’m positive.”
“Well, my info is reliable. The mob definitely owns the Blue.”
“What do you need from me, then?”
“Do you know what money laundering is?”
She shrugged. “I’ve seen Breaking Bad. So yeah, I guess.”
“Okay. The mob is using the Blue to launder their drug cash.” I paused, steeling myself. “And I want to fucking rob them.”
She laughed. “Yeah, great idea. We can rob them together like Bonnie and Clyde.”
“I’m not kidding.”
“Be serious, Reid. How is robbing these guys going to help anything?
“I owe money to someone for helping me out, and he needs to be paid. And there’s something else.”
She huffed, frustrated. “If you want my help, just tell me everything.”
“Apparently, the guys still in Canada and the guys down here don’t get along very well. I plan on stealing from the guys here and paying off the guys up there, with the hope that it can help tip their little war.”
She shook her head. “This is absolutely insane. You have to be joking.”
“I’m not. I know I’m asking a lot.”
“What are you asking me to do, exactly?”
“Get me a key. Or leave one of the doors unlocked. I don’t care how you do it, but find some way for me to get in.”
“No way. I’m not helping you rob the place I work. It’s too dangerous.”
I moved across the room and dropped down to one knee in front of her. “Listen to me, Becca. This isn’t just for my sake, it’s for yours and my mom’s and your dad’s. I’m in deep with these people, and I need to get the fuck out before things get worse.”
She looked taken aback, but I felt my anger and sadness and frustration spilling over. I grabbed her hands and held them hard, loving the feel of her skin against mine.
“Can’t you just leave?” she asked softly.
“Not if I’m going to keep you all safe too.”
“Why can’t you just walk away?”
“I owe them money. A shipment went wrong and now I’m buried in it. Plus, I’m a good smuggler, and I know too much about them. They’ll never let me just walk. But this can save us all.” I paused and looked into her eyes. “You have to trust me.”
“How do you know all of this? I mean, how are you going to rob them and not get caught?”
“You don’t work with the mob for years and not learn some things about being a criminal.”
“They could kill you.”
“They’ll kill me if I don’t do something about it either way.”
I could see her mulling it over. I moved closer to her, sitting on the bed. Our legs touched, skin against skin, and I breathed in her smell.
“This is a lot,” she said softly.
“I need you, Becca.” And as I said the words, I knew it was true.
“Just a key?” she said after a second.
“Just a key.”
“When?”
“As soon as you can.”
“I work tomorrow night.”
“Okay. That’ll work.”
“What if I get caught?”
“You won’t.”
“But if I do?”
“Then we’ll run away, get far, far away. We’ll tell our parents everything. But we don’t need to do that just yet.”
I could see her fighting with herself for a few seconds. Finally, she spoke.
“Okay. I’ll do it.”
I let out a breath. “Fuck, I’m so sorry I’m bringing you into this.”
“It’s okay. I’m just happy you’re telling me what’s going on.”
“I never wanted this,” I said. “I never
wanted any of this.”
“You did what you had to do.”
I reached up and touched her cheek, pulling her chin toward me. She took a short breath, her eyes wide.
“There’s more that I need to do.”
“Reid, your mom’s downstairs.”
“Her car pulled out five minutes ago. Didn’t you hear?”
“Reid—”
But I cut her off. I crushed my mouth against hers, sick of walling everyone off, sick of pushing everyone away. I needed her because for the first time in my life I felt like somebody actually gave a fuck. I felt like someone wanted to see the shit that I kept hidden from the world.
She melted into my kiss. Our tongues touched and lips explored each other, my hands wrapped around her waist, her arms linked around my neck. We kissed deeply, and there was something there I hadn’t realized, something locked deep in my chest. I felt it beginning to shift and grow.
I pushed her over, pinning her down on the bed. I leaned back and pulled my shirt off. She smiled up at me and put her hand flat on my abs.
“Like what you see?” I said, grinning.
“Don’t be so cocky.”
I moved down close to her. “Only cocky because it’s true.”
She went to protest, but I pulled her shirt off, muffling her words. I began to kiss her neck, unhooking her bra.
“I’ve missed you,” I whispered into her ear.
“I missed you too. But I’m still mad at you.”
“Good. Take your anger out on my cock.”
“Reid!”
I pulled her shorts down over her hips, revealing her pink and white panties. I reached down and touched her spot, kissing her neck, and found her already soaking through the cotton.
“Your pussy can’t lie.”
“Oh my god.”
“You’re soaked through for me.”
She moaned softly as I put my hand under her panties and worked her wet clit.
“Shit, I want to call you an asshole, but that feels so fucking good,” she said.
I laughed as I kept working her, rubbing her spot and kissing her.
After a second, she reached out and fumbled with my shorts, unbuttoning them.
I stood up then, climbing out of bed. She looked at me, frowning. “Where are you going?”
I went over to the window and yanked open the blinds. Sunlight spilled into the room as I pulled off my shorts and my boxer briefs.
“I’m sick of fucking you in the dark,” I said. “I want to see every part of you.”
