by Annie West
She blinked and stiffened her spine.
‘I never cry.’ It was true. She was strong. She’d had to be. It was just that she was so very tired.
‘Where is he?’ There was no one else in the room. Just her and the man crouched at her feet.
‘Don’t worry about him.’ In one easy movement Declan rose and deposited the glass in the bin. Then, before she could guess his intent, swung her up into his arms.
She protested, of course. Chloe wouldn’t put up with being manhandled without a fight.
But now he had her safe in his arms, he couldn’t let her go. His hold tightened.
He remembered her cringing away from her bully of an employer and it had red-rimmed his vision. He’d wanted to beat the guy into a pulp. Only the realisation Chloe would then have to face police interviews kept him sane. Instead he’d threatened the lowlife with legal action for everything from aggressive behaviour to shonky employment practices, non-adherence to council bylaws and health regulations.
Declan held her close as they negotiated the door from the café to the pavement. She’d lost weight. She’d looked so small and defenceless back there, despite her defiant stance. Now he felt the press of her hip bone rather than the lush curve he remembered.
‘Haven’t you been eating?’
‘What?’ She broke off her protests and stared up at him.
Heat punched low in his belly as her green eyes met his. His breath stalled in his lungs as he fell into those crystal depths.
He’d longed to see her, to touch her. But not like this. Not with violet bruises under her eyes and her too-thin arms wrapped around herself as if to protect her even from him.
He opened the car with a click of the remote control. ‘You haven’t been eating. What were you thinking?’
Eyes rounded, she stared up at him as if he spoke another language. He took advantage of her silence to manoeuvre her into the car and strap her in.
‘What are you doing? I never said I’d go with you.’
But her movements were slow and uncoordinated. He was in the car, its engine purring as he nosed it onto the street, before she could unclip the catch on the seatbelt.
Ten minutes later her protests had died to mulish silence as he pulled up under the port-cochere of an exclusive guesthouse.
‘What are we doing here?’
‘I’m staying here.’ He vaulted out of the car and opened her door before the staff could reach it, unsnapped her seatbelt and pulled her into his arms while she goggled at him.
‘Put me down,’ she hissed. ‘I can’t go in here like this. I work here.’
Declan suppressed a smile of satisfaction. He revelled in the feel of Chloe in his embrace, though he knew it was a fleeting delight. He’d take whatever crumbs he could get.
The thought of the emotional wasteland that was his life without her wiped the smile from his face. But he pulled her closer, as if daring any of the staring guests and staff to try separating them.
He even enjoyed the sensation of her turning her face into his shirt, the warmth of her breath against him, though he realised she was merely avoiding curious looks.
She felt so right in his arms.
He could have held her for hours, but too soon they were at his room. He shouldered his way in and let the door slam shut before striding across to a lounge suite in front of a balcony with an unparalleled view of the escarpment.
Reluctantly he put her down on the cushioned lounge, then stood, his blood sizzling in reaction, his breathing shallow not from exertion but emotion.
She was gorgeous, even in stained work clothes and with exhaustion stamped on her too-fine features.
Abruptly he turned and poured a glass of chilled water from a nearby carafe. She took it without comment but his belly clenched as she carefully avoided touching him.
‘What do you want to eat?’ His voice was gruff, not what he’d intended.
Fine eyebrows arched up. ‘I’m not staying.’
She’d stay till he made sure she never went back to that café or any place like it. Till she promised …
His breath hissed out as he realised he had no right to demand anything from Chloe.
‘I’ll order some food.’
‘I don’t want food. I feel sick.’
Declan hesitated, noticing her pallor did have a sickly hue. She needed looking after.
‘Humour me, Chloe. You look like you’re about to pass out.’ His gaze held hers till she looked away. ‘I’ll order a selection. Hopefully you’ll find something to tempt your appetite.’ He busied himself with the call to room service, trying to quell the need to haul her to him and never let her go. Her words still rang in his ears.
It’s over. I never want to see you again.
He ended the call and turned towards her. She was where he’d left her, hunched at one end of the vast sofa staring out of the window. Her bare arms were too thin, the elegant line of her throat too fragile. The only rounded part of her was the tiny belly she rubbed with one hand.
A flash of memory smote him: Chloe in the café, backing away from her irate boss. There’d been fear in her eyes but instead of putting up a hand to ward him off her fingers had splayed protectively over her abdomen.
A stifled sound made Chloe whip her head round. Declan stood as if transfixed. His eyes gleamed as he raked her body. Self-consciously she slipped her hand from her tummy and reached again for the water.
Her teeth still chattered a little against the glass but she felt stronger. Much as she hated to admit it, being swept off her feet and into Declan’s luxury car, carried through the exclusive resort as if she were breakable porcelain, had been like a pleasurable dream. A dream where mistakes and hurt didn’t exist and where Declan came to her free of the past.
But dreams weren’t reality.
‘What are you doing here, Declan?’
He paced closer.
Too close, screamed the voice of sanity.
Yet her eyes ate him up. His tanned, bold features, the ebony hair, the liquid dark eyes, even the scar that raked his cheek—all were shatteringly familiar.
Part of her wanted to push him away so he didn’t crowd her. The other part insisted he wasn’t close enough. She locked her fingers around the glass lest they reach for him. Liquid slid down her parched throat. Still their eyes meshed, as if neither could believe the other was real.
‘I came to see you.’ His voice had an odd inflection. ‘How long have you been feeling sick?’
Chloe shrugged. ‘I’ve been working long hours in a stuffy kitchen, that’s all.’ She put the glass down and swung her legs to the floor. ‘I really need to—’
‘You’re pregnant, aren’t you?’ His eyes glittered as they roved her and she froze.
How had he known? She barely showed. He couldn’t know. She was only coming to terms with the news herself. She wasn’t ready to discuss it with Declan.
‘I’m just tired. Thank you for your help back there, but it’s better if we don’t see each other again.’ She forced the words from her lips though she was no longer sure they were true. Just as she was no longer sure she’d been right telling him it was over between them.
Gingerly she stood.
‘When is our baby due, Chloe?’ The hoarse intensity of his voice sent a thrill zipping down her spine.
‘Our baby?’ In her wildest dreams she’d never imagined he’d call it that. Those simple words confounded her.
Like lightning his gaze lifted to hers, pinioning her.
‘Our baby.’ His tone held a quality she’d never heard before. It made something deep inside her clench. ‘Don’t worry; I can work out the dates myself.’
‘What makes you think it’s yours?’ She lifted her chin and dared him to repeat it. He’d spent too long distrusting her.
‘It’s mine.’ The look he bestowed her sent the blood hurtling through her veins and a flush seared her face. ‘Yours and mine, Chloe.’
‘You don’t know that.’ Bit
terness filled her. ‘Not so long ago you accused me of being a woman on the make. A woman who’d—’
His fingers across her lips stopped her words, their soft pressure a tantalising restraint. Chloe drew a shuddering breath and looked away, blinking as his hand dropped.
‘Don’t, Chloe.’ His voice, low and hoarse, was strained.
‘Why not?’ She swung back to face him. ‘You used condoms. There’s nothing to prove this is your child. I could have gone to someone else’s bed when I left you.’
Slowly he shook his head. ‘I’m sorry for mistrusting you. If there was a way to take back what I said, I would.’ He breathed deep and she watched his massive chest rise. ‘You told me you loved me. You’d never sleep with someone else while you still felt like that. Not you.’ His dark eyes bored into hers. ‘You don’t use sex for recreation, do you, Chloe? It’s too important. It’s about feelings, isn’t it?’
It’s about love, she wanted to say, but the words choked in her throat. How could Declan, the man who’d misjudged her so long, see right to the core of her?
This new Declan made her feel vulnerable, unsure of herself, as if he’d shifted the ground beneath her feet. He’d changed.
‘It could be anyone’s. Even—’
‘It’s not Adrian’s.’
‘How can you be sure?’
His lips curved in a sad smile. ‘You told me, remember?’
Stunned, she groped for words. She searched his face and saw only certainty there. ‘You didn’t believe me.’
Declan shook his head again. ‘I did.’ He reached out his hand as if to touch her then let it fall. His mouth turned down, his skin pulling tight, sharpening his features as if under severe stress.
‘I listened to everything you said and I knew it was true. I hid behind accusations so I wouldn’t have to face the truth. I was a coward.’ He shook his head. ‘It was hell letting you walk away that day, but I knew I had no right to ask you to stay. I’d hurt you too badly. You were right—I was no good for you.’
And now? The words trembled on her tongue. But it was no use wishing for a fairy tale ending. This was real life.
She struggled to take in the change in him.
‘I’m sorry for what I said that day. I know you were grieving.’ The knowledge of his misery, so like her own past grief, allowed her to understand his obstinate loyalty to his brother, even when he’d hurt her.
‘No. You were right, Chloe. You deserve a man who can be everything you need. Everything I wasn’t. I can only apologise again for the appalling way I treated you.’
He speared his fingers through his hair. The infinite sadness in his expression made her heart clench.
‘Adrian’s actions were his own. You were never the cause of his pain. You were a victim.’ He swallowed hard. ‘I’m sorry.’
Declan’s desolation confirmed what she’d known—that it was too late for them. A yawning void opened up between them and her heart plunged.
A knock on the door claimed his attention and Chloe turned and paced onto the balcony. The soft twilight wrapped round her. Out on the lawns a cluster of guests laughed and chatted. But here, alone with her thoughts, desolation crept in. She was glad Declan was finally able to face the past. Pleased he’d moved on from his grief. Yet still she wished …
A footfall behind her made her spin round. Declan’s gaze dropped to her abdomen then up to her eyes. His lips curved in a smile that stole her breath.
‘What are you smiling about?’
‘You’re having my child.’
Her skin tingled at his words. He was so sure.
His certainty rocked her after his previous mistrust. He’d only changed his mind about her before when he’d learned she’d returned the bracelet. This time there was no proof short of a DNA test.
‘There’s no proof it’s your child.’ She blurted the words out, as if tempting him to distrust her.
His smile didn’t dim. She blinked. He undermined her certainties.
‘How did you find me?’
‘Ted.’
‘You rang my foster father?’
‘No, I saw him. I wanted to meet him because he means so much to you.’
Chloe’s heart fluttered. The intensity of Declan’s scrutiny unnerved her. She felt poised on the brink of a precipice, not knowing what to expect next.
‘You paid for Ted’s accommodation. I want you to know I’ll pay you back every cent.’
‘I don’t want your money.’ He shoved his hands deep in his pockets and his shoulders hunched.
‘I don’t want to owe you anything. I want to be free.’
His lips curled, yet there was no amusement in his face, just the echo of suffering. ‘If you feel a fraction of what I do, Chloe, you’ll never be free.’
What did he mean?
‘Did Ted persuade you to see me?’ She knew Ted was worried about her long working hours, not knowing it was the loss of Declan that was the real problem.
‘We didn’t talk about you.’ At her disbelieving stare, Declan shrugged. ‘Not after I explained who I was. Then we just …
talked. About sport to start with and then his work on the railways.’
‘You and Ted talked about trains?’ Chloe sagged against the balustrade, struggling to take it in.
‘Not just that. We touched on fishing, politics, working in China and the Middle East. He’s an avid armchair traveller, your Ted.’ Declan sounded approving, yet Chloe barely noticed. She was on tenterhooks, her tension growing with each revelation.
‘Why are you here?’
Instantly Declan stiffened. ‘I know you didn’t want to see me, Chloe. That’s why I kept away, but I needed—’ He paused and looked down at the papers he drew from his jacket pocket. ‘I had to give you this personally.’
Thick paper crackled as he handed it over. For an instant Chloe hesitated, then she forced herself to reach for it, feeling warmth where it had lain next to his body.
‘What is it?’ Slowly she unfolded it.
‘The deeds to Carinya. I want you to have it.’
‘What?’
She had to be hearing things. Yet the words on the top page suddenly began to make sense. Chloe stumbled a fraction then shot out a hand to support herself. When she looked up Declan was a mere pace away.
‘You can’t do that. Carinya is your family home. Wasn’t it built by your great-great-grandfather?’
‘I have no family now, Chloe.’ At the grim twist of his lips, pain lanced her.
He turned and braced his hands on the balustrade. ‘I want you to have it. I know you loved it and it will be a perfect place for Ted once he’s ready.’ Declan drew in a slow breath, his eyes fixed on the valley spread before them.
‘I can’t live there, Chloe.’ His voice dropped to a deep resonance that tightened her skin. ‘Every time I enter a room there, I smell your sweet fragrance. I hear you humming under your breath. I want you to be there.’ He swung round to face her, his eyes glittering. ‘It’s not the same without you. I even moved out of my Sydney apartment. I was living in a hotel in the city before I came here.’
Chloe swallowed hard, seeing the emotion in Declan’s eyes. He was letting her in, allowing her to read the feelings he usually kept shut away. It was heady and glorious and frightening.
‘I can’t accept—’
‘You can, Chloe. I wronged you badly and made your life hell. It was easier to blame you than shoulder all the guilt for—’
‘You’re not to blame either.’ Unthinkingly she put her hand on his sleeve and felt the muscle tense under her touch. She loosened her fingers to sever the connection but his other hand clamped hers in place.
Fire sparked in Declan’s gaze and an answering heat flooded her.
‘I’m still working on that one.’ His smile was crooked and endearing and Chloe’s heart flipped over.
‘But this isn’t about Adrian. After all you’d already been through, you deserved a champion. Not an accuser. I hurt you, C
hloe.’ His hand tightened and Chloe’s pulse thudded faster as she read Declan’s expression.
‘I stayed away as long as I could. I visited your father because it was a connection to you. I reminded myself you never wanted to see me again.’ He drew a deep breath. ‘If you tell me to go now, I will and I’ll never bother you again. But I had another reason for coming here.’
‘Yes?’ She could barely breathe over the tightness in her chest.
He hesitated so long she wondered if he didn’t know how to continue. Yet that wasn’t possible. Not forthright, decisive Declan.
‘I’ve been desperate since you left. I knew I couldn’t follow you, though I wanted to, more than anything. You had a right to make a new life without me. But I can’t let go so easily, Chloe. I just can’t do it!’ Emotion clogged his voice.
‘Did you know you left in such a hurry you didn’t pack everything?
There were CDs still in the player and books on the shelf. Since you left I’ve listened to your music and read the books too.’ At her startled stare, he nodded. ‘Pathetic, isn’t it? I’ve become a fan of Jane Austen and Latin salsa and, Lord help me, Aussie hip hop.’
‘Declan?’ Chloe’s voice wobbled.
‘Ah, sweetheart.’ He palmed her cheek, infinitely tender. ‘I’m sorry. I really have made you cry when all I want is to look after you.’ He dragged in a breath so shaky it made her wonder if, impossibly, Declan felt as nervous as she.
‘I don’t need looking after.’ She watched his lips curve in a smile that warmed her from the inside.
‘I love you, Chloe. I have for so long, but I was too caught up in blaming you.’ Chloe’s heart stuttered at the tenderness in his eyes, then tripped to a faster beat.
‘I wish there was a way I could prove it to you. Prove I believe in you and always will, no matter what. Words aren’t enough.’ The gleam in his eyes dimmed and his mouth tightened.
‘You did prove it,’ she whispered, stunned by the realisation. The warmth within spread and intensified to a steady glow. ‘You knew the baby was yours from the first, no matter what I said. You believed in me.’
His faith in her had been instantaneous. He’d shown her his change of heart.
