by Opal Carew
“No.” He held me close to his chest and headed for the bathroom area. “Nothing like that. It’s just that males with Vorn DNA don’t normally see in color.”
“You don’t? You’re all color-blind?” I was surprised but then I thought back on the first time he’d touched me. When he talked about how red my hair was and how blue my eyes were.
“Not color-blind exactly,” he said. “It’s more like…things are washed out. We see in shades of gray and tan and black and white with just a few pastel tints here and there. We don’t see true color until…”
“Until what?” I asked, prompting him. Maybe I was just trying to keep him talking, trying to avoid the inevitable dunking in the Cleansing Pool. Although God knew I ought to be used to going into tanks full of liquid by now—I had certainly been doing enough of it lately.
“Never mind.” Sarden’s face took on a guarded expression. “Sufficient to say, I have never seen anything remotely like what I see when I have skin-to skin contact with you. But it’s probably just a manifestation of your La-ti-zal powers—nothing more.”
“So glad I could brighten your day,” I muttered. “Literally, I guess.” We were standing right in front of the vertical bathtub with its pale purple liquid and I was feeling nervous and squirmy.
“It’s more than that,” Sarden murmured. “There’s something about you, Zoe. Something I can’t put a name to.” He shook his head. “Never mind—it’s time to get in. Will you be all right?”
“As long…as long as you don’t let me go,” I whispered, the words squeezed out of my too-tight throat.
“Never,” he rumbled and opening the door, he took me with him into the pool.
Sarden
She did well in the Cleansing Pool—much better than the first time. I was almost tempted to think she was getting used to it but her white lips and wide eyes told a different story. So she wasn’t getting used to being submerged after all—she was just determined not to show her fear this time.
Her bravery impressed me but more than ever, I wanted to know the reason for her fear. What had happened to make taking a simple dip in the Cleansing Pool such a traumatic experience for her?
And what was happening to me as I held her? Without the inhibitor to block her power, the world around me was brilliant—vivid in a way I’d never seen before. It was amazing and I wondered what she might be capable of in the future if her abilities came to full fruition.
Of course, I was taking her back to Earth so it was possible nothing would happen at all. On her home planet she would just be a latent La-ti-zal with no one the wiser. No one to know how incredibly special she was.
I knew but I couldn’t say. Couldn’t risk letting her know the truth about my people. Zoe’s other latent abilities were impressive—her ability to somehow open locks which were keyed to others and the electrical tingle I felt when we first touched was amazing but it was the colors I saw when I touched her that troubled me the most.
Males with Vorn DNA never saw in color until they met a female they could mate. A female they could bond with.
You can’t mate her—you promised to bring her home. And you can’t bond with any female—you’re a half-breed, remember? It’s impossible.
It should be—but what about the colors I saw? Colors I had never expected to see with any female. Could they really be attributed to her powers as a La-ti-zal? Or was there some other reason…something more?
Doesn’t matter if there is, the little voice in my head whispered. She probably wants nothing to do with you. And who could blame her after you left her alone and let her get nearly kidnapped by fucking Doloroso, eaten by the damn chudd’x, and drowned in the reservoir?
About one thing Doloroso was right—Zoe was incredibly unique and special.
And I didn’t deserve her one damn bit.
Zoe
We stayed in the pool long enough to rinse all the black, stinking chudd’x blood away and then Sarden finally took us out. I was so glad to get out of the drowning tank—as I still thought of it to myself—that I didn’t even mind that the filmy Majoran dress he’d had Al synthesize for me had melted completely away while we were inside it.
Yup, I was naked again. It seemed to be my lot in life ever since I was abducted. I would say I was getting used to it—only I wasn’t. I still kept my arms firmly in place over my cash and prizes while Sarden stood in front of the mister, which was set to dry us off.
At last I was all dry and toasty warm—which was nice—and Sarden was about to set me on my feet when he appeared to remember something.
“Hey—what’s going on?” I protested as he swung me back up in his arms when my soles were a scant inch from the floor. “I thought you were going to put me down.”
“I was—but I forgot about your feet.”
“What? What about them?” I asked uneasily as he sat me carefully on the edge of the silver hoverbed.
Al had been busy while we bathed and all the black slime smeared blankets were gone—they had been replaced by a single shiny gold coverlet. I wrapped it around myself, glad to have a way to hide my never-ending nakedness.
“You know what about them.” Sarden frowned at me as he changed from his own still-damp clothes into a pair of his black silky sleep trousers. Now that I knew he was colorblind, I wasn’t surprised that he limited his wardrobe colors to black and white. At least he could be sure those two shades wouldn’t clash with his skin.
“No, I don’t know,” I told him. “My feet are fine.” Well, maybe not exactly fine—I had actually cut them up pretty badly in my run from Count Creepy McGrabbyHands—but I wasn’t about to admit that to Sarden.
“They’re not fine—I followed the trail of blood you left. It’s how I found you, Zoe.” His deep voice was surprisingly quiet and the look in his golden eyes was pained. I realized he still blamed himself for what had happened to me and felt sorry for him.
“It’s not that bad,” I said, trying to make him feel better. “I’ll be walking around in no time. In fact, I’d be walking now if you’d just give me some Neosporin and some Band-aids.”
He shook his head. “I don’t know what those are. But I am going to heal you.”
“Oh no—please don’t,” I said quickly, thinking of how he’d “healed” the other parts of my anatomy. “I mean, please don’t tell me you want to lick my foot because sorry, that’s just gross. And please don’t say it’s not gross because you have a foot fetish because that’s even grosser,” I babbled.
“A foot fetish?” he asked, frowning.
“You know—someone who gets off to feet? Sexually, I mean?” I thought of some of the weird stuff I’d run across on the Internet. “I mean, there are some guys on Earth who love that kind of stuff. Toe porn and foot bondage, and sniffing dirty pantyhose and…uh…” I trailed off, realizing he was just staring at me.
Finally, he shook his head. “Your little planet is stranger than I gave you credit for.”
“What?” I asked, feeling defensive. “You can’t tell me in a whole wide galaxy full of planets that Earth is the kinkiest one.”
“Not by a long shot.” Sarden was busying himself with a shallow metal basin he’d pulled out of one of his closets. “But we tend to fetishize other races and peoples—not individual parts of their bodies. “For instance, you might say I have a fetish for Earth females.” He shot me a grin that made my insides flip.
“But not Earth girls’ feet, right?” I clarified. “I mean…how exactly are you going to heal me?”
“Don’t worry—oral healing is only for…the most intimate areas.” His eyes grew half-lidded and I knew he was remembering the way he’d licked me, right here on this very bed. I could feel my cheeks getting hot but I tried not to show it.
“Uh-huh,” I said, noncommittally. “So then, how—”
“With this.” He held out the metal basin and then pressed a button on the side of it. Suddenly it started to fill up with bright blue fizzing liquid. “Here.” Sarden
stepped forward, motioning for me to put my feet in. “This will help.”
“It also looks like it’s going to sting,” I said, keeping my tootsies well clear of the fizzing liquid.
“It will—but only a little.” Sarden gave me a stern look. “Come on, Zoe—put your feet in.
“I don’t want to,” I said stubbornly. “Plus, I don’t need to—I’m a fast healer.”
He frowned. “Wounds like yours will take days to mend without the help of the healing agent. How do you expect to get around? You think I’m going to drop everything and carry you everywhere you want to go?”
“I thought you liked carrying me,” I pointed out, offended.
“I do,” he growled. “The Gods know I like it more than I should. But we’re going to be leaving for the port on Giedi Prime soon. Once we get there I’ll need to go down and scout around—gather some information. I don’t like leaving you alone on the ship helpless.”
“Then don’t,” I said, promptly. “Take me with you.”
“What?” Sarden stared at me as though I’d lost my mind. “After what just happened on Gallana you want me to take you to another port? I don’t think so.”
“Why not?” I asked. “Can’t you give me some kind of disguise? Something to cover my hair—maybe some baggy clothes?”
“But…why would you want to go? After what you just went through?”
“I want to help,” I said simply. “You’re letting me go even though I’m your best chance of getting your sister back. The least I can do is try to help you gather information.”
“And what makes you think you’d be good at that? You don’t strike me as the stealthy type,” he remarked sarcastically.
“Thanks a lot! I can be when I want to be.” I lifted my chin. “Also, I’m small which is more than you or most of the other aliens I’ve met so far can say. Dress me in dark clothes, maybe give me a pair of dark glasses or something to hide my eyes and I can be very unobtrusive. Just a quiet little mouse sneaking around the corners of the room listening to what everyone is saying. No one will even notice me.”
“Well…” He frowned thoughtfully and I could tell he was considering my idea. Good—I really did want to help. As strange as it sounds, I felt really bad about him giving me back my freedom with no idea of how he’d get his little sister back. Also, I’d be bored stiff on the ship all by myself.
“Please?” I pleaded. “I really want to help. Look, I’ll stick my feet in the bath and I won’t complain no matter how much it stings if you just let me go with you.”
“All right,” he said, nodding at last. “I agree—on one condition.”
“Which is?” I was already getting ready to put my feet in the blue, fizzing basin which he had been holding patiently all this time, but his next words stopped me.
“I’ll let you come with me and help find information about my sister if you’ll tell me what happened to yours.”
“What?” I froze, unable to move. “What…what do you mean?”
“You know what I mean, Zoe,” he said quietly. “You’ve mentioned her several times now and I know she has something to do with why you’re so deathly afraid of being submerged in water. But I want to know why—the whole story.”
“Why should I tell you?” I demanded, crossing my arms over my chest defensively.
“Zoe…” He gave me a long look. “I told you about Sellah, about how she was taken.”
“That’s different though,” I whispered. “Your sister—she’s still alive.”
“Yes.” Sarden put down the basin and leaned forward, cupping my cheek in one hand. “Please,” he said, staring intently into my eyes. “I need to know.”
“Fine.” I pulled back from him and he withdrew his hand. “I’ll tell you,” I said. “But I might as well do the foot thing while I do.”
He picked the basin back up, held it out, and simply looked at me.
“Fine,” I said again and took a deep, shaking breath. After all these years, it still hurt to talk about it.
There was silence from Sarden and I knew he was waiting. Well, might as well get it over with. Gritting my teeth, I put my feet into the blue liquid—which did indeed sting like hell—and began talking.
“I wasn’t very old when it happened—not that that’s any excuse. I was seven and my sister, Angela, was five. We had just moved to Tampa from Minnesota.” I looked at him briefly. “You have to understand—Minnesota is really cold, so almost nobody has a swimming pool. But Florida is really hot so a lot of people have them down there.”
“A swimming pool is an artificially made body of water big enough to swim in?” Sarden guessed.
“Exactly.” I sighed. “Anyway, our next door neighbor had one. They had a fence around their yard but we could still see it through the chain link. All blue and inviting…” I swallowed hard, remembering how fascinated Angie had been with the pool. How she always begged to be allowed to go over and just look at it.
“Zoe?” Sarden prompted, and I realized I’d been sitting there silent for a while, just thinking.
“Neither of us knew how to swim,” I told Sarden. “We were supposed to take lessons later that summer but, well, we hadn’t had them yet.”
Okay, I was stalling and I knew it. Might as well get the hard part of the story over and done with.
“One day my mom had to go out—I think she got a call from her new job. She was only going to be gone about an hour and she hadn’t had time to find a good babysitter in Tampa yet. I guess she thought we would be all right alone, just for that short length of time. So she told me…she told me…” I cleared my throat, forcing myself to go on despite the hard knot of pain and shame that had formed in my stomach. “She told me to watch over my sister,” I said, forcing the words out at last. “To take care of her—not to let anything happen to her.”
“You were too young for a responsibility like that,” Sarden said in a low voice.
“Yeah, well…” I shrugged and looked down at my hands again, seeing it all over again. “Angie and I played for a little while but then she got bored so we sat down to watch cartoons on TV. Um—that’s a kind of entertainment for kids,” I added for Sarden’s benefit. “Then, the next thing I knew, I looked up and she was gone. Just…gone.”
The knot in my stomach had grown so big now it was crushing my lungs, making it hard to breathe. But somehow I was still talking.
“The minute I saw she was gone, I got up and went looking for her,” I said. “I looked all over the house but it wasn’t until I opened the back door to check the yard that I heard splashing coming from the neighbor’s place.”
“She climbed the divider separating your property from your neighbor’s?” Sarden guessed.
I nodded, feeling sick.
“I ran and climbed after her but by the time I got over the fence she was already…” Oh God, this was hard to say. “Already at the bottom of the…the pool.”
“What did you do?” Sarden asked softly.
“I think I screamed for help. I must have because the neighbor said they heard someone shouting and screaming as they drove up into their driveway.” I shook my head. “But no one came—not right away. And Angie was at the…at the bottom…”
“You jumped in after her, didn’t you?” he asked softly. “Even though you didn’t know how to swim.”
“What else could I do?” I looked up at him and noticed he seemed blurry for some reason. Also, my eyes were stinging. Must be the fumes from that damn blue fizzy liquid or something. “What else could I do?” I repeated. “She was my sister…my little sister. I was su-supposed to be t-taking c-care of her. But I didn’t. I didn’t.”
My last word ended on a sob and I realized, to my horror, that I was crying. I hate crying—especially in front of someone else. It makes me feel so weak and girly and stupid.
Without a word, Sarden put down the fizzing basin and took me in his arms, heedless of the fact that I was dripping blue liquid all over him.
&n
bsp; For a long time he just held me and let me cry. I found I was holding him back, my arms wrapped around his narrow waist as I pressed my face into his muscular chest and let the sobs take me.
I don’t know why telling him the story affected me so strongly. It wasn’t like I hadn’t told anyone before. Charlotte and Leah knew. Hell, the therapist I’d seen in high school could recite the details forward and backwards. But this was the first time I’d shared this old, hurtful piece of my past with a guy. Not even my ex, Scott, who I had lived with for over a year, had known the details. He’d just known that I had a sister who died when she was younger—not that I had anything to do with it.
“I should have been watching her,” I told Sarden, between sobs. “I should have kept it from happening.”
“Gods,” he murmured and stroked my hair gently. “No wonder you agreed to let me trade you for Sellah. You’re still trying to assuage the guilt for something that happened back when you were a child.”
I swiped at my eyes and looked up at him.
“Maybe,” I admitted in a small voice. “I know there’s no getting Angie back—she’s gone. But I guess I thought, if I could help you find your sister…help you get back Sellah…”
“That’s not your responsibility,” he said fiercely. “And you shouldn’t have been tasked with watching over your sister at such a young age, either. Seven cycles isn’t old enough for such adult behavior.”
“Weren’t you?” I asked. “I mean, I thought you said you weren’t much older than that when your mom told you to look after Sellah.”
He sighed and nodded.
“You’re right. I guess…we always feel responsible for our siblings. But Zoe…” He cupped my cheek and looked down at me. “You tried—you did everything you could. You jumped in after your sister even though you couldn’t swim.”
“My mom said the same thing,” I said, wiping at my eyes again. “She…she never forgave herself for leaving us alone.”
“Guilt is a heavy burden,” Sarden murmured. He tilted my chin and looked into my eyes. “Thank you for telling me. I know it couldn’t have been easy.”
