by Opal Carew
“You bastard,” I snarled. “You have no idea the pain you’re putting him through.”
“Oh yes, I do—I simply do not care.” He grinned at me, showing muddy brown teeth—even in his mud face, the sight was weirdly disgusting.
“Let us go,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady. “You’ve had your fun—your revenge on Sarden. Now let him know his sister isn’t dead.”
“I don’t think so.” His smile widened. “In fact, not only will I deny him his sister, he’s also going to lose his favorite concubine.”
“You can’t,” I said, wishing my voice wouldn’t tremble so much. “He’ll hunt for me, too. You can’t just…”
But the words died on my lips as Tazaxx began to change.
The muddy outline of his man-shaped body changed, smoothing out, becoming smaller and more feminine. Then I was staring right at myself—or a sculpture of me made out of mud, anyway.
“That’s creepy but it won’t work,” I said, lifting my chin. “So what if you look like me? You still look like me made out of mud.”
“Because I’m not finished yet. This form is crude yet comfortable—but I can refine it if I wish to.”
As I watched, the mud-me became smoother and paler. The hair became red and the eyes, blue. Even the same clothing I was wearing appeared on the mud-me’s body. The Slave Leia outfit down to the last detail.
Until Tazaxx looked exactly like me.
“What…” I had to swallow before I could try again. “What do you think you’re going to do? Get on the shuttle and leave with Sarden? You’ll just be trapped with him and once he finds out you aren’t really me—” I shook my head. “You’re gonna be in for a world of hurt, buddy.”
Tazaxx shrugged. “I don’t mind what he does to my scion. I can make many, many of them, you see—can mold myself into whatever form I choose. And if I lose one here or there, it is no matter to me. It doesn’t hurt me anymore than clipping your fingernails would hurt you.”
“So…you can make infinite mud-men? Or women?” I could feel my heart sinking but I tried not to show it.
“More or less. Every time I molt, my mass grows and I can afford to lose more of it. Which is why I didn’t mind sacrificing some of it to assure your paramour, Sarden, that his beloved sibling was dead.” He nodded at Sellah, who was white-lipped and wide-eyed with terror. “As I won’t mind sacrificing a bit more to make Sarden think he has you with him, my dear,” he told me.
“He’ll know,” I said desperately. “You can’t fool him that easily.”
“Oh, really? Are you positive of that?”
Tazaxx smiled at me and suddenly I saw Sarden pass by the door that kept Sellah and me prisoner. Another me—this one also perfect in every detail—walked by his side.
“Sarden!” I screamed as loud as I could. “Sarden, help! Help—we’re in here!”
He didn’t even look up. But the other-me did. She looked up and gave me a nasty, knowing smile.
If you’ve never been smiled at by your evil mud-doppelganger as she walks off with your boyfriend (or at least the guy you really, really like) well, I don’t recommend it. It sucks.
“Sarden!” I shouted again. “Please!”
My shouting frightened my nib-nibs and two of them, Rhaegar and Viserys came out of my hair and went chattering down my arm.
“No, you guys,” I hissed at them. “Bad timing—back! Go Back!”
But it was too late—Tazaxx had already seen them.
“Ah—I forgot about these little creatures. Your pets.” The mud-me that Tazaxx had become, held out a hand. “Give them to me now or suffer the consequences.”
“No.” I cupped them in my hands protectively. “You’ll hurt them.”
“I assure you, I will not. Unless you fail to hand them over. Then I will be certain they are torn limb from limb while you watch.”
I shivered, hearing the awful words come from what appeared to be my own mouth. Looking into those eyes so much like mine, I knew he would do it.
“Fine.” I held the nib-nibs up in the palm of my hand and looked at them. “You guys are going to go and leave me here,” I whispered, my voice slightly choked. "Don’t worry—just go with Sarden. He’ll protect you. Or at least he won’t eat you.”
They chattered softly in the palm of my hand and I could feel my last nib-nib, Drogon, moving around restlessly at the back of my neck. But to my relief, he stayed where he was, even when I handed the two tiny nib-nibs over carefully to Tazaxx.
“Be careful—don’t crush them!” I said, my voice hoarse.
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Tazaxx remarked. He slapped one hand over my mouth and opened the door a crack just for a moment.
The nib-nibs scampered out and the other mud-me doppelganger, who was walking just behind Sarden, reached down to try and scoop them up. They ran around her and made a B-line for Sarden and for a moment, I thought they might get his attention. And if he turned and saw me through the crack in the door…
But it didn’t happen. The mud-me was faster than I would have thought possible. She put on a burst of speed and snatched them up, chattering from the floor before they could reach Sarden. Then she gave me another nasty, triumphant smile and kept walking with the two of them cupped carefully between her hands.
The door started to swing closed and I knew it was now or never. Surging forward, I bit down on Tazaxx’s palm as hard as I could, sinking my teeth deep into his flesh…where it crumbled into a mouthful of slimy dirt.
Tazaxx held me off easily, as though I was no more than a child, and let the door snick shut and lock once more. He let me go and I spat out the mouthful of muddy dirt, completely disgusted.
“Ugh!” I wiped at my tongue as best I could. “Disgusting!”
“I’m sorry you find it so,” Tazaxx remarked mildly. His hand wasn’t injured at all—it looked like I hadn’t even bitten him, let along taken out a big chunk.
“Promise me your, uh, scion won’t hurt my nib-nibs,” I demanded, spitting again. I didn’t like the way she’d smiled at me when she caught them.
“I assure you, they will be unharmed. They are only there to perfect the illusion. Your paramour will never suspect a thing now…that is until he’s too far away to get back in time and do any good.”
He gave me a smirk that was unbearably self-satisfied.
“Sarden will find out what you’re doing,” I said. “You can’t keep up the illusion forever.”
“I don’t have to—I only have to keep it up long enough to sell the two of you at auction. Which will be in exactly twenty solar hours at an undisclosed location.”
“He’ll come,” I said stubbornly, trying to make myself believe it.
“Please don’t fool yourself,” Tazaxx said. “The auction site is kept secret from all but those who are expressly invited—and they aren’t notified of its exact location until shortly before it is to begin. Your Master will never find you.”
He gave me an evil grin and once more I had the weird experience of being taunted by myself.
“Could you not?” I said. “I mean, it’s really creepy when you use my own face to sneer at me.”
“Forgive me.” His features mutated until he was the mud-man again. “Is that better?”
“Not by much. But a little.” I lifted my chin. “Fine, so you’re going to sell us. Now that we know can you just leave us alone?”
“So that you can unlock the door with your La-ti-zal powers? I don’t think so, my dear. From now on, I won’t be leaving your side. Not until I can turn you over to the Master of the Auction.” He walked back to the door and stood right in front of it. “Feel free to talk but if you attempt an escape, know this—some of the attendees at my yearly auction like buying injured females. It makes breaking them to a new owner’s will so much easier.”
“You bastard,” I spat at him.
“Actually, as I told you before, we Gord reproduce asexually. So I have neither a mother nor father, which renders any
insults relating to my heritage completely pointless.”
“How about this—you look like a mud puddle and your assistant looks like a giant, walking piece of excrement,” I snapped, completely fed up.
Tazaxx seemed to consider my insult for a moment, then he nodded thoughtfully.
“You are correct, I believe.”
“Oh…go away. Or at least just stop talking to me.” I was beyond exasperated—I couldn’t even insult the jerk!
“As you wish.” The mud-man stopped talking and then, his mud began to run and flow until he lost his shape completely. Soon he was just a mud puddle on the floor right in front of the door.
I wanted to jump over the puddle and try to unlock the door but I had seen how fast he could move and change shape. If I tried anything I would probably wind up on the cold metal floor with mud tentacles wrapped all over my body. I remembered Tazaxx’s slimy, cool touch and his terrible strength when he put his hand over my mouth—I really didn’t want to feel that again, especially not all over me.
Instead, I turned to Sellah again.
“I’m really sorry,” I said. “Some rescue, huh?”
“You tried.” Her golden eyes were bright with unshed tears. “It was a trap from the first—Tazaxx put me here to catch your eye, I’m certain of it.”
“Well, if so he succeeded.” I sighed. “What can we do now?”
“Nothing,” she whispered. “Nothing but wait.”
I was afraid she was right.
Sarden
My heart was so full of grief I could scarcely see to pilot the shuttle. I think Grav saw that because he took over the controls and made me sit in the passenger seat instead of driving.
In the back, Teeny, his ward, sat quietly beside Zoe. I would have expected Zoe to be chatting with the girl and trying to make her feel at ease. But she was strangely and uncharacteristically quiet on our flight out of the atmosphere of Giedi Prime. Even when we dropped Grav and his ward back at his own ship, she barely said goodbye to them. I wondered if she was upset about what she had seen—I knew for myself, the image of Sellah’s body was one I couldn’t forget. It was like a fresh wound that kept bleeding—I saw it every time I closed my eyes.
Grav left with the promise that he would help me take vengeance as soon as Teeny had been delivered safely to her grandfather’s planet. I thanked him for his help and promised to see him again soon. But every word I said seemed to come from someone else, some other person who was speaking on my behalf.
I couldn’t think straight—could barely breathe. Despite my determination to put off my grief until I took vengeance, I could feel the anguish already on me and its weight was crushing.
We got back to The Celesta at last and I thought that Zoe might try to comfort me again. I shouldn’t let her, of course. I deserved no such comfort after failing Sellah in such a terrible way. But I would have welcomed Zoe’s soft arms around my neck, anyway—even if I didn’t deserve it.
But Zoe barely said a word as we came from the docking area out into the main corridor of the ship. I noticed she was holding her pet nib-nibs in her cupped hands instead of letting them nest in her hair and wondered why.
“Zoe?” I asked, when she turned away from me.
“I’m tired.” She didn’t meet my eyes, only looked at the floor and her bare feet. Our footwear, which we had abandoned outside Tazaxx’s home, had been brought back to the shuttle but Zoe hadn’t bothered to put hers on.
“I know this has been…a bad time.” I barely knew what I was saying. “And…I know I promised to bring you back to Earth once it was all…” I had to swallow before I could go on. “All finished.”
“Yes,” she said, still looking down. “Yes, take me back. You promised.”
I don’t know what I had expected or hoped for. Maybe for her to say she didn’t want to go back? That she wanted to stay with me…to explore whatever it was I’d thought I felt growing between us when she tasted me, as I had tasted her, which is almost always the first step in bonding?
But she didn’t say any of that. And I didn’t feel anything between us anymore. It was like there was a blank wall there—a wall I couldn’t penetrate, no matter how much I wanted to.
“Take me back,” Zoe said again. And then she repeated, “I’m tired.”
“Why don’t you go in your room and lie down,” I said, gesturing to the door leading to her quarters. “I…I’ll set a course for Earth.”
“Good.” She turned away from me and, without a second glance, disappeared into her room.
I stood there in the corridor, wishing I could call her back, knowing I couldn’t. Sellah was dead and the female I was coming to care for—maybe even to love—wanted nothing to do with me.
Not that I blamed her.
I turned back to the control center of The Celesta to set a course that would take us back to Earth.
I had never felt more alone.
Chapter 22
Sarden
“Master? Master, please wake!”
Al’s voice sounded as worried as I had ever heard it. “What? What is it?” I muttered, forcing myself to open my eyes. I’d laid awake in my bunk most of the night, sleepless with grief. Every time I closed my eyes I saw my little sister’s body, saw the blood that had leaked from her eyes and nose and mouth, saw the look of agony on her face proving she had died in pain and alone. Because I wasn’t there for her. Because I didn’t save her in time or keep her from getting taken in the first place.
So when Al came twittering around my head, I hadn’t been asleep for more than an hour—maybe less.
“What is it?” I asked again, hoisting myself up on one elbow in my hover-bed.
“It’s Lady Zoe—I think something may be wrong with her,” Al said, sounding anxious. “She’s completely non-responsive.”
“What?” Sleep deprived or not, that got my attention. I jumped out of bed. “Where is she?”
“In her room. I went to wake her and ask if she would like me to use one of the food options she had input earlier into the food synthesizer for her first meal, but she didn’t answer me.”
“Are you sure she’s not just asleep?” I asked, running out of my room and heading for hers even as I spoke.
“She doesn’t appear asleep, Master—her eyes are open. But…I can detect no signs of respiration or pulse.”
“What?” This was getting worse and worse. Zoe had seemed so quiet and depressed the night before. Could it be that she had done something to harm herself? Please, Goddess of Mercy, I prayed as I ran into her room. I lost Sellah—don’t let me lose Zoe too. Please!
I got to her hoverbed and saw she was just lying there, as Al had said.
“Zoe? Zoe?” My voice cracked on her name. Her blue eyes were blank and sightless, staring straight at the flat metal ceiling. Her chest wasn’t rising or falling either. She seemed…gone.
No! I couldn’t let myself think like that. I had to help her—had to try and bring her back. But how?
I stood there, afraid to move, afraid to touch anything—frozen to the spot. And then I felt something—a light, tingling and scratching sensation running up one bare arm. Looking down, I saw it was two of Zoe’s pet nib-nibs. They were chattering to me urgently, almost as though they were trying to tell me something.
But that was ridiculous. I pushed the crazy thought aside and concentrated on the matter at hand.
“Zoe?” I said again. “Zoe, please—I lost Sellah—I can’t fucking lose you too. Please!” Desperate for any response, I reached out to shake her by the shoulders.
Her skin felt cold to the touch, as though she had been gone for hours and no colors crossed my vision. She was gone and she had taken every bit of beauty with her. I felt the tide of grief rising in me again—grief and disbelief and horror. No, I couldn’t do this—I couldn’t survive another loss!
“Zoe,” I begged, the words coming out harsh and uneven as the tide of grief threatened to overwhelm me. “Please don’t do this to me—
don’t be gone forever. I need you. I love you.”
The moment the words broke from my lips, I knew they were true. True and too late for me to do anything about them. I didn’t just care for her…it wasn’t just a connection I felt between us—Zoe was the one female in the galaxy I wanted as my own. The one I wanted to spend my life with.
And now she was gone.
“Zoe!” I shook her again. “Zoe, please. You can’t fucking go. You can’t—”
And then she crumbled to dust beneath my hands.
I looked down in disbelief, staring at the muddy pile of dirt which was all that was left of the woman I loved. How could this be? What in the Frozen Hells of Anor…And then a memory formed in my brain.
Tazaxx, forming from the slick, brown puddle of mud into a male, complete with arms and legs and features. I hadn’t known he was capable of doing that before this visit to his compound. Though I had met him face-to-face on several occasions, he had always taken the appearance of a Majoran male with light brown skin and brown eyes. I had been startled when I saw him form a new shape in the molting room but hell, what did I know about Gords? Now I began to think…
If Tazaxx could form himself into one shape and animate it, why not another? Why not Zoe?
I looked at the pile of muddy dirt again.
“He has her,” I said hoarsely. “Gods, Tazaxx has Zoe. And he fucking fooled me into flying halfway across the galaxy from where he’s holding her!”
At my words, the two nib-nibs sat up on my shoulder and chattered loudly in my ear.
“Are you quite certain, Master?” Al asked, still sounding as worried as an Artificial Lifeform can. He had really taken a liking to Zoe while she was aboard the ship. We all had. She had stolen my heart and in return, I had let her get stolen. For the second time. What a Goddess-damned idiot I had been!
