by Amy Brent
“Here, let me call you a cab,” he said. “Least I can do since you normally take public transport home.”
“How do you know what I normally take home?” I countered, poking his chest then trailing my finger up to flick his nose. “Have you been watching me, Mr. CEO-sir-man?”
“I’ve been working from home all week,” he countered, only half paying attention as he typed into his phone. “But it was an educated guess.”
“Well it was a good guess, because you’re right.” I giggled even though nothing particularly funny had happened. “I take the bus to work and the train back because the buses don’t run that late. It takes forevvver.”
“Yeah, I bet. I don’t know how you do it.” He looked to his phone then back to me. “The cab is gonna be here in like, ten minutes. Let me pee and then I’ll walk you out.”
We were both as relaxed as we had ever been around each other, but I wasn’t sure we were that relaxed yet.
Oh well, might as well roll with it. “You go pee! Imma wait to go home.”
He nodded tipsily and stumbled toward the facilities. I watched him, giggling, and decided to go outside to catch some fresh air before I had to slide into an undoubtedly stale taxi.
The wind was cool but refreshing once I stepped onto the sidewalk, with the line having long since either come in or dispersed. The sounds of the city washed over me, and I closed my eyes, absorbing the peacefulness.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!”
A chill like ice slid up my spine, it’s cold tendrils piercing through my heart with no mercy. My eyes flew open, and I whipped around just as someone grabbed my arm.
“Look at how you’re dressed! Like a damn common whore!”
I was yanked roughly to the side and suddenly he came into view. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t think, I could only stare up in shock at the familiar face that often haunted my dreams.
“Do you have any idea what I’ve gone through to find you?” He shook me again and tears rose to my eyes. This couldn’t be happening! It couldn’t be real! I had to be dreaming. “No, I suppose you don’t. You never think of anybody other than yourself, do you? Well, we’ll have to fix that, I guess. We’re going home now!”
“W-what?” I managed to sputter. “N-no! I have a restraining order! You can’t be here!”
But he kept pulling, kept yanking me towards a life I had sworn to leave behind. I looked around in a panic, trying to see if there was a single soul to save me, but the streets were unusually empty with only the occasional taxi or sports car speeding by. My previously tipsy buzz faded as stone-cold terror took over most of my brain.
Every nightmare I had ever had was coming true. The deepest, darkest fears that haunted my subconscious all flashed before my eyes and I heard myself start to hyperventilate.
“S-stop! I’ll call the police!”
Suddenly I was yanked to his strong, broad chest and I remembered just how terribly strong he was. “Look, I know what we both have our flaws and things got a little crazy last time, but it’s time to stop the theatrics. You belong with me, McKenna! Me and no one else!”
I let out a cry and dug my feel in, trying to pull away. But his grip was like iron, unforgiving and cold. It dragged me mercilessly and my sobs fell unchecked.
“Hey! Let her go you son of a bitch!”
Abruptly the hand on my arm let go and I stumbled backwards. A dark shape set upon my assailant, knocking him to the ground and tumbling along the sidewalk.
It took several seconds for my poor, drunk brain to realize that it was Rafael, come to save me and pummeling the absolute crap out of my ex. I stood there, shocked, as they rolled across the concrete, cussing and spitting.
My ex managed to get free and stumbled back, his lip bleeding and eye already swelling.
“Are you crazy!” He screamed. “Who the hell are you!”
“Who am I?” Rafael countered. “Who the hell are you!”
“I’m her goddamned boyfriend!”
“Boyfriend?” Rafail looked to me, confused, and I shook my head desperately.
“N-no, that’s not right,” I gasped.
“Shut up, McKenna, you don’t know what you’re talking about!”
“Don’t talk to her like that!” Rafael snapped back. “Get lost!”
“You get lost!” He tried to grab for me again, but Rafael knocked his hand away. “She’s coming home with me!”
“McKenna,” Rafael said somewhat blearily. “Do you wanna go home with him?”
“N-no!” I gasped, my wits slowly coming back to me. But mot nearly fast enough. “Rafael, that’s my ex-boyfriend!”
“You’re…”
I watched as what could only be called blind range flooded Rafael’s face and he spun at my attacker once more. His punches came one right after the other, all slamming into my ex’s face until finally he was flat on his back, his visage a bloody mess.
“Rafael, stop, you’re going to kill him!”
“He deserves to die!”
As much as it felt good to see him hurt, as much as I felt a vindicated sort of justice that he was getting his fair comeuppance, I didn’t want him to be dead. That would involve police reports, and funerals, and contact with his family. I would much rather have him leave me alone of his own accord rather than have his ghost weighing over me for the rest of my life.
“I know. But I don’t deserve to have to deal with the consequences.” That was a surprisingly coherent sentence given how inebriated by brain was with both terror and alcohol.
“…fine.” He spit on my ex before standing. “Get the hell out of here. And if you ever show your face again, or if McKenna even thinks she sees your shadow, I’ll gut you like the pig you are.”
My ex sputtered something then scrambled to his feet before limping away. I had never seen him so defeated, and it filled me with a type of hope I had never had before.
“McKenna,” Rafael murmured, turning to me. “McKenna are you okay?”
Once more, I found that I couldn’t answer. But instead of being muted by my fear, I couldn’t get words around the relieved sobs constricting my throat and shaking my chest.
Rafael’s strong arms reached out for me, pulling me to his broad, strong chest that was so much more comforting than others I had been forced against. I clung to him, using his sturdiness to prop myself up.
“Hush, hush, it’s alright. I’m here now.”
And he was. In the churning maelstrom that was my life, Rafael was the constant. He was strong enough to protect me, and in fact, he had been looking out for me ever since he found out I was using a fake name. Quite a strange streak of kindness considering our relationship had started because I lied to him.
“Take me home,” I whispered between my wracking sobs. “Please take me home.”
“Don’t worry, the taxi is coming and it already has your address.”
“No! Not back to my place. He might know I’m there!” My stomach squeezed painfully at the idea, making me almost dizzy from the pain. “Take me to your place, please! I just, I need to feel safe. At least for tonight.”
“Okay, okay. Whatever you want. I won’t leave you alone until you want me to.”
I sagged against him even more and we waited those last few minutes with me crying into his chest. But even after everything I had been through, I felt so much better with Rafael holding onto me.
That whole meeting could have gone so much worse. I guessed I was incredibly lucky that I had Rafael with me. If he hadn’t… I shuddered to think about it. One thing was for certain though, I owed him the truth. The whole truth.
Chapter Twenty-One
~Rafael~
I had been pleasantly buzzed, enjoying the night and enjoying McKenna’s company even more. I never would have thought we would be able to hold such good conversation over the hours while slowly getting more and more plastered, but I was quite happy to be proven wrong.
But then I had stumbled out of the
bathroom and onto the street to see some creep manhandling McKenna. At first, I thought it was just some drunk yahoo, but then she yelled that it was her ex and suddenly I was seeing red.
This was the man who made McKenna so terrified that she started a new job in a new city under a fake name. This was the man who racked up multiple police reports while torturing the poor woman.
My anger had broken in me far greater than it had in years. My skin was hot, my face was hot and all I wanted to do was make him feel all the pain that he deserved.
But then McKenna had asked me to spare him, and somehow, I managed to pull back. I didn’t want to. In fact, I wanted nothing more than to tear him into tiny pieces, but I knew what McKenna desired was more important than what I hoped to happen.
So, I let him go.
Thankfully, the taxi came soon, and I was able to help her into it, sliding in beside her and draping my arm over her shoulder. She curled into my chest, holding onto my shirt with a hand that was more claws than fingers. What did that sick, twisted monster do to her to make her so afraid?
“Thank you,” she whispered, voice barely audible.
“You don’t have to thank me for anything.” It was then that I realized that she didn’t know that I knew exactly who that was and what he did to her. I though about telling her, but it didn’t seem like the right time. “Whoever that asshole was, he had no right to talk to you like that. And no one, no one, has the right to lay hands on you without your permission.”
“If you weren’t there, I… I don’t even want to think about what might have happened.”
“You don’t have to,” I assured her, squeezing her gently. “You don’t even have to talk about it. We’ll go to my place, I’ll make you some tea, then we can swaddle you up in blankets and watch fun movies all night.”
She nodded, and I heard her tears start to subside. “Why aren’t you asking who that was? If he really was my boyfriend or not?”
“Because I figure that’s your story to decide when to tell, if at all. You don’t owe me any sort of explanation.”
“I…I want to tell you.” She took a deep breath and sat up enough to look at my face. “I did used to date him, a long while ago. We met while we were in college and he was the nicest person that I ever met. I was a freshman and he was a junior, so he showed me all of the ropes of college.
“I thought he was the coolest person ever, and totally out of my league. I was just some girl from the Midwest and he was a big shot on campus. Never in a million years did I ever think that he would be interested in me, but then he started dancing with me at a party and we were inseparable ever since.”
I listened to her intently, nodding where appropriate. I was honored that she was sharing this story with me but also concerned that I might emote the wrong thing. I wanted to be as understanding as possible, concerned that even the slightest move might alarm her or make her think I was judging her.
“It was amazing at first. For a whole year it was a full honeymoon and I couldn’t be happier. I thought I was the luckiest woman on Earth, and so did most other people.
“But then he graduated, and we moved off campus while I finished school, and things started to go downhill. At first it was just the occasional fight because he was stressed from not being able to find a job. Then he found a job, but my friends were annoying, or rude, or jealous of us, until one by one all I had was him.
“I know that’s so predictable, but it happened slowly, over time. I didn’t notice it at first and by the time I realized that I was all alone, I thought it was my fault. And he certainly helped reinforce that idea. Everything was always my fault. Either the dishes weren’t clean enough, or the food wasn’t right, or I was spending too much time on homework and not enough time on him.
“I dealt with it until graduation, but the constant emotional abuse wore me down. I felt worthless, and stupid and ugly; that no one would ever love me and that he was a saint for dealing with me.”
“You’re not any of those things,” I murmured, stroking her face.
“I know. I mean, I mostly know. But back then he was my first real relationship and I was so sure that we were meant to be.
“It was hell, thought. Certifiable hell. Eventually my hair started falling out, I was losing weight and I couldn’t sleep. I was miserable, and I just wanted to die. But I stuck with it! Like a goddamn crazy person. I just endured it, thinking it was all of my fault, until one night…” She paused, lip quivering ever so slightly. I couldn’t imagine that it was easy for her to tell me all this. Repeating the worst parts of her life no doubt forced her to relive them in her mind.
God, all of it just wanted to make me protect her that much more. She was a good, kind woman and she didn’t deserve this. Then again, I didn’t know many people who did.
“It’s okay,” I said. “You don’t have to keep going if you don’t want to.”
“No, I uh, I think I do. It helps to get it all out. So, he’s less like a bogyman and more like a bad memory.”
“If you’re sure, I’ll listen.”
She nodded, licking those perfect, full lips of her before continuing. “It was my birthday. We were supposed to go to a special dinner afterwards, just me and him at my favorite restaurant. He’d been so busy that we hadn’t had time to go out in ages. I got all dressed up, put on his favorite necklace of mine, and perfume, but when he walked in he said he just wanted to lay down and order a pizza.
“I was hurt. How couldn’t I be? But when I told him that I had been really looking forward to having a romantic evening together, he absolutely flipped. He lashed out at me and the next thing I knew I was on the ground. He then kicked me and told me I was ruining everything before disappearing into our room.
“It was then, in that moment, that I knew I had to go. I grabbed what clothes I had left in the hamper, my wallet, my phone and I ran.
“At first I got an apartment away from college. I started an entry level job on one of those video-phone services. It was going well, and I really thought I was hitting my stride. Until he suddenly showed up at my door again. He pushed his way in, saying that we were meant to be together, that he would forgive me for being so dramatic and running away.”
She snorted, making a broad gesture with her hand. It was the first flash of anger I saw since she started talking, and I hoped she held onto it. She deserved to be angry. “Can you believe that? He was going to forgive me! The entitlement and the delusions he had were insane! I tried to fight him off, but he was so much stronger than me. He shoved me inside and started screaming at me, then hitting me. I barely was able to get to my phone and call nine one one.
“I filed a report and that was supposed to be that. But it wasn’t. He showed up at my work, and I swore I saw him driving around my apartment complex. The cops said they could send someone to drive by but not really do anything until he made a move.
“So, I decided to be proactive. I broke my lease and got a new place. I got a new job as an intern. I was in a suburb as opposed to the city and I thought that finally, finally, he would leave me be.”
I knew where this story was going to go from here, but I didn’t interrupt. I had a feeling that this was therapeutic to her, and the last thing I wanted to do was to cut her off. It was difficult to hear such terrible, horrible things, but I was sure it was worse for her to remember them.
“He didn’t, big surprise. He called me for days, filled up my work voicemail, whatever way he could insert himself into my life, he would, until one day I came out of my apartment to find all of my tires slashed and my windows broken.
“I knew what he was doing. He was stranding me, making it so I couldn’t get to work, or to anybody really. He wanted me to ask him for help.
“I wouldn’t though. I refused. I was scared out of my mind, but I wouldn’t let myself be pulled into the mess. So, I ran again, this time to the next state. There I had peace for six months, and once more I thought that I was in the clear.
She
laughed darkly, a bitter, knowing sound. “You know that phrase, fool me once, shame on me? Fool me twice, shame on you? Well, do they have one that goes up to five? Because that’s how often he chased me around. I was in a constant state of running, being found and running again when finally, I decided to come here, halfway across the country. It took me a while to find a job, but I was sure I was safe.” She sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “I guess I couldn’t even have that. I don’t know why he’s so obsessed with me. To hear him talk about me, you would think that I’m the scum of the earth.”
“That’s because he’s an abusive bastard,” I said, giving her another small, soothing squeeze. “But he’s gone now, and I have friends who can make sure that he stays gone.”
“Thank you,” she whispered, resting her head against my chest once more. “You don’t know how much this means to me.”
“I have an idea.”
The cab started to slow, and I looked out of the window, surprised to see that we were approaching my place. Had we really been riding for that long? It didn’t seem like it.
“Hey, we’re here.” I murmured to McKenna, who was still pressed against my chest, the wetness of her cheek making the natural fibers stick to my skin.
She nodded and allowed me to help her out of the vehicle. I couldn’t help but feel that something incredibly important had shifted between us. Some dynamic that I was still just slightly too drunk enough to fully comprehend.
