by Amy Brent
A gentle hand touched my back, rubbing comfortingly circles.
“I brought you some water,” I heard Alisha say from behind me.
“Thanks,” I whispered, sinking to the ground now that I was fairly certain I was done with my technicolor shouting. She handed me the cup of cool water then sat beside me. I had to admire how she stuck around even though I was sure she could smell everything I had just tossed. “I’m sorry about that.”
“Don’t worry about it. But, uh, McKenna, do you think you are coming down with something? Although you’ve been happy lately, you mentioned you’ve been run down and this is the second time you’ve gotten sick at work.”
“What? No, it isn’t!” That couldn’t be right, could it?
“Yeah, do you remember a week ago? A shelf fell in the supply cabinet and it startled you so badly that you puked in your mop bucket.”
Damn, she was right. That had happened. Was I coming down with something after all?
“I… I think I’m going to go to the bathroom.”
“Do you want me to come with you?”
“No,” I said uncertainly. “I think I just need a couple of minutes to compose myself. Do you… do you mind taking the top floor tonight?”
“Of course,” she said, nodding. “But if you need anything, you let me know, okay?”
I took her hand and squeezed it appreciatively. I was so lucky to have such exemplary co-workers. Who would have thought that after shifting through so many catty office set ups that I would eventually find such gems working overnights in maintenance. Not me, that was for sure.
I headed to the bathroom, only pausing to grab my purse so I could take some medicine that I had bought several months ago when I had been worried that I was coming down with a virus. I made it to the room without any more urge to vomit, but my bladder was more than making up for it by suddenly insisting that it was too full.
I rushed into one of the stalls and slammed the door closed, getting my jumpsuit off just in time. I sighed as I went about my business, wondering what was wrong with me.
Oh well, might as well take my medicine while I was stuck on the pot. I might as well double check the medicine directions to make sure I took it correctly.
The back read pretty much exactly as I expected. Not to take on an empty stomach, two pills for my weight range, and not to take while operating heavy machinery, nursing or pregnant. It was a good thing I was none of those! I-
Wait. When was the last time I had my period? It was two months ago, just after when Rafael and I had decided to make it official. I remembered being so irritated by it because I had been so looking forward to getting laid that weekend. Since I had the implant, I wasn’t really due for another anywhere from a month to three. I was incredibly grateful for my form of birth control and how long it had been with me.
Actually… how long had I had it?
My heart skipped a beat and I felt sweat break out on my brow as I tried to figure it out. The implant was supposed to last for two years at first, but recent studies and legislation had approved it for three years. I had gotten a new one right after I had graduated in the summer and that was…
Four years ago.
No! No, no, no, no! This could not be happening. Of course, my gyno would have reminded me, and I was sure it would come up even at a doctor’s checkup, but I had deleted my old number and hadn’t gotten a physical in the past two years, lest my ex find me.
That explained why my periods had gotten longer, and why the last one was so intense. Oh God! My birth control had been expired more than a year and I had been having a lot of sex lately.
I hardly dared to finish the thought, but it wasn’t like I could shove all of them back into a can and forget all the things I had just realized. As much as it made my stomach twist and my heart imitate its own procession section, one lone question floated to the front of my mind.
Was I…pregnant?
It hung there, heavy and damning. I loved children, but I was no way in any position to be a mother. I lived in a studio, I was single, I had only just started to get some semblance of a support system and I was still setting up my insurance.
And of course, I couldn’t help but think of Rafael! It was fairly obvious that his first marriage had probably only happened because of Dom. I didn’t want him to think I was pulling some sort of baby fast one, and I didn’t want history to repeat itself.
No. I couldn’t be pregnant. It was impossible. But… even if I was, I couldn’t really do anything until I was out of work. I had already walked out once, it would not be right to do so again. I knew Rafael would cover for me, but that was exactly the sort of special treatment I was trying to avoid.
Taking calming breaths, I composed myself and headed out. Both Alisha and Davie were waiting for me in the breakroom, their meals finished while mine was already packed up and ready to put back in the fridge.
“Thank you guys,” I said, noticing it instantly.
“Is nothing,” Davie said, handing me a bottle of water. At least I would never have to worry about be dehydrated around them. “We just want to make sure that you’re alright.”
“Don’t worry about me,” I said, taking it gratefully. “I’m sure it’s just a stomach bug.” Or rather, I hoped that it was just a stomach bug. Slapping a big ol’ smile on my face, I looked to the two. “Let’s get to cleaning, shall we?”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
~McKenna~
“You have a good night now, try to get plenty of rest!”
“I will!” I called back, speed walking out of the doors of work so urgently I might as well have been running.
The second half of my shift seemed to have dragged on forever, and every minute just made the anxiety within me burn that much higher. I was constantly waffling between being adamantly sure that I wasn’t pregnant, to wondering if I could be. At some points my thoughts shuttled back and forth so much that I wondered if it was possible to get mental whiplash.
My commute wasn’t that easy either, but I toughed though it, getting off a stop earlier so I could hit the corner store only a small way from my apartment building. I stood there awkwardly in the feminine needs section, finding myself facing a situation that I had never had to worry about before.
Wow, all those scenes in movies and on TV really didn’t do it justice. My cheeks were burning, my hearts were pounding, and if felt like everyone and their mom was staring at me.
I grabbed it and shoved it into my pocket, not caring if they thought I was shoplifting, before heading to the snack aisle. No matter how this panned out, I was definitely going to need some comfort food when everything was set and done.
In the end I wound up with some candy bars, a pint of ice cream, several cream sodas, some chips and dip. It would completely ruin my diet for the next month, but at this point I didn’t care.
“Did you find everything you need, Miss?” The cashier asked, trying to look friendly but mostly just appearing absolutely miserable. I couldn’t blame him. Working retail sucked. I tried to shoot him my own pleasant smile, but I don’t think I fared that well either.
“Yeah, I’m good.” I put everything on the counter, saving the test for last. Quickly, I shoved it all towards him, looking around like I was dealing drugs rather than buying a simple feminine product.
To his credit, the cashier rang it up without comment and bagged it. “Can I help you with anything else today?”
“No, that should be good, thank you.”
“No problem, and good luck by the way.”
I hesitated at the last moment, understanding what he was wishing me luck on. I didn’t know why the kind phrase from a stranger touched me so much, but it definitely did, so all I could do was nod thankfully and slink out the door.
The fortunate part was my bladder was already reminding me that I needed to go the entire walk home. Part of me wanted to blame it on anxiety, but the other part was more than happy to remind me that frequent urination was a sign of
pregnancy.
And also diabetes, but thankfully that was not on the consideration block today.
I pulled out my keys as I rounded the corner to my place. Of course, they got stuck in the lining of my pocket though, so I had to fiddle with them one-handed while my other arm made sure my groceries bag didn’t take an unintended tumble.
I felt that someone else was on the stairs as I walked up to the landing. At first, I figured that it was someone like me, keys being stubborn and all. The front door was also notoriously difficult to open, requiring pushing the door forward, jimmying the lock and sacrificing a cow in a volcano.
But as soon as my foot hit the first step, something cold raced through me. I froze in my spot and looked up to see none other than my ex standing at the front door.
I stared at him, eyes wide and mind reeling. No, no! He was supposed to be gone! What was he doing here!?
A quick scan of his face revealed the faintest shade yellow where his bruises had once been. How badly had Rafael beaten him, for there to still be evidence of it so many weeks later?
I didn’t know, and I didn’t care. All I knew was that I needed to be anywhere from here.
“McKenna!”
He reached for me and I stumbled backwards, nearly breaking my neck by falling down the stairs. I managed to catch myself on the rail but doing so made the groceries I had protected to dutifully fall to the ground, scattering everywhere.
“McKenna! Stop being dramatic. Here, let me help you pick them up.”
He moved past me and onto the landing, grabbing candy and drinks. It was then a cold panic washed over me as I realized what he might see.
“Bradley, don’t!” I cried, rushing towards him and trying to wrest the items from his hands.
“Relax, McKenna. It’s just groceries. I can-” He stopped cold and I realized that I was much to late. He held up the small, pink box and looked to me with a fury that made my very blood freeze.
“What the hell is this?” He bellowed, his face turning red.
It was right then that I understood that there was no avoiding what was about to happen. He had me alone, he was angry, and there was no one who was going to help. The way I saw it, I had two choices. I could cower to him, as I always did, or I could stand up for myself for once. After all, I had tasted what a real relationship was supposed to be like! I knew how it felt to be loved, valued, appreciated. If this monster of a man thought that he could come into my life and just ruin everything… well, I wasn’t going down without a fight.
“Was does it look like?” I retorted, rising to my feet and lifting my chin defiantly.
“Are you kidding me? This isn’t for you, is it?” He stood too, taking a step closer to me, rage radiating from his form. But I didn’t back down. I couldn’t.
“So, what if it is, Bradley? It’s none of your business! You need to get the hell out of here before I call the police!”
“You won’t call the police,” he countered, his face bordering on purple. “Because you know I’m right. You know that, deep down inside, there is no one good enough for you but me.”
“Oh, go suck a dick!” I screamed, absolutely done with this. I was done being quiet, I was done being scared. “I’ll call the police and I’ll take that pregnancy test and I’ll never, ever think of you again!”
“Huh, so it is for you then. Funny, after all that time together, I never figured you out as a common whore!”
“I am no whore!” I didn’t know what came over me. Sure, I was mad, but I knew better than to provoke him outright. Even though I knew that, I looked up at his face and spat right at him.
Time went into slow motion as my gob of saliva arched out and hit his cheek. It stood there a moment, glistening in the morning sun, and he wiped his face with a deliberate sort of fury.
“You little bitch!” he screamed, raising his hand to strike me.
I shrieked, I couldn’t help it, and cringed away, holding my arms up to protect myself, I should have run, maybe tried to kick him in the nuts, but I was so terrified that I was rooted to the spot.
Bradley could hit me, and it hurt, but I wouldn’t let him conquer me again. I would get up. I would fight him, and I would never stop until he was dead.
But the blow never came. I knew that time had seemed to slow down, but not that much.
Opening my eyes, I saw that Bradley’s arm had been stopped by a familiar, tanned hand. Standing only a few feet away from me was Rafael, protective rage in his eyes.
“What the hell are you doing here?”
I stared at the two men, and I could feel the tension ramping up between them. I knew, that without a doubt, one of them wasn’t going to walk out of this a whole person.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
~Rafael~
Of all the ways I had imagined the day going, this wasn’t anywhere on the list. But as I stared into the eyes of McKenna’s ex, I knew that the two of us were about to cross a line that couldn’t be walked back from.
But I didn’t care. This man -no, animal standing in front of me had hurt McKenna. Purposefully. And it seemed that, even with my previous “encouragement”, he still was intent on trying to claim her.
And to think, that I had been waiting in a cab outside of McKenna’s place because I wanted to surprise her. In about a week or so, we would have six months of being together, but I would be out of town for another conference and I wanted her to know that I hadn’t forgotten.
I had been thinking of how to present to her the flowers and candy I had gotten her. I had been sneakily sleuthing the information out of her for the past month, and I had wanted to see that light behind her eyes when she realized what my sometimes-strange questions were about.
Of course, that was when the office called, and I was distracted for all of five minutes. When I hung up, I was relieved to see that I hadn’t missed her but was considerably less happy then I saw someone standing at the complex door nearly push her down the stairs.
I ran over, of course, rage already going at full tilt, but it wasn’t until I recognized her ex that I truly saw nothing but red.
“I’m giving you one last chance to back away,” I said, my voice more growl than human but I didn’t care. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m still going to call the cops, but I won’t beat you into the scum that you are.”
The man, although he could hardly be called that, ripped his arm away and snarled at me. “So, you’re the bastard who’s poisoned her against me?”
“You did all of that yourself,” I said, stepping forward so that we were almost touching. I wanted him to feel my presence, to be intimidated by me while I looked down at him like the dog he was. “As much as I’d like to take the credit. You’re a disgusting abuser, and she has been far kinder to you than you deserve.”
He laughed, and his spittle flew up to splash against my chin. Disgusting, just as he was. “Come on, you don’t believe all that, do you? Couples fight and she’s just overdramatic. You’re telling me you never got into an argument with your babe, Mr. Big Man in the cheesy suit?”
“People argue all the time. But that’s not what you did. You know it. She knows it. And I know it. So, I’m still giving you that chance to leave, but it’s disappearing quickly.”
“Whatever,” the man backed down then pushed past me. “She’s just a whore who’ll do the same thing to you then come running back to me.”
There were a lot of things in the world I could tolerate. I’d sat through so boring that it’s painful meetings, my father’s funerals, speeches by politicians who I wanted to shove their heads up their own asses, but there was a line. And insulting the kindest, most generous woman I knew was so far over that line it might as well have been in orbit.
“You know what,” I hissed, grabbing his shoulder and whipping him around. “The offer expired.”
Before he could open that vile mouth and speak any more lies, I slammed my fist right into his narrow lips. It was a familiar feeling, considering I had already once
pummeled him into a pulp, but last time I had been drunk. Now I was sober, and one hundred percent fully conscious of the righteous fury flowing through every part of me.
This time the man wasn’t as stunned, and he tried to throw a blow back. I blocked it, sliding it along my arm, then swiveled in a jab that landed right against his cheek and sent him stumbling.
It had been ages since I had truly fought someone – not counting the first time I had handed him his own ass- but it was all coming back to me. My prepubescent years in the ghetto, the scuffles in high school when someone dared to insult my immigrant father, the rough patch I had gone through after that saintly man’s death. It all flowed over me like a second nature that I rarely indulged.
Suddenly he lunged forward from the ground, tackling me around the waist. I was surprised by the move and we both went backwards, causing me to hit the back of my head on the railing as we went down.
The world was just shockwaves for a moment and my head swam. I was vaguely aware of one of his punches landing on my cheekbone, but the pain was so delayed that I was already fighting back before I felt it.
