by Sara Orwig
Minutes later they were still gasping for breath. He kept her with him as he rolled over and held her. “Vivian, marry me. It’ll be good and we’ll fall in love.”
His voice was deep in the quiet room and she hurt. She was tempted to say yes, but all she had to do was think about what it would be like if she married Mike. They would go through the motions and everyone would congratulate them, but they wouldn’t have that wonderful happiness that two people in love had.
She cupped his jaw with her hand so he would pay attention to her. “Mike, I’ve been married to a man I loved with all my heart. I know how good it can be. I know how exciting it can be. I would be miserable if we married now. You wouldn’t be happy. In bed and having sex—yes, you’d like that and so would I, but there’s a lot of living beyond that and love is important.”
He stroked her hair and held her close. “You’re probably right about love, Vivian. I think I’m probably right, too. I think we’d fall in love if you’d give us a chance.”
“I’m going back to Dallas for a while to think about what I want to do. I want some time and some space.”
“This is why you haven’t taken my calls.”
She wouldn’t lie to him. “Yes, it is.”
“I should have known there was something.”
“You’ve been busy and you have a new job.”
He hesitated a second, his eyes skirting from hers. “Do you know which one of the guys Lewis Owens is?”
“Yes, I do. Thane liked Lewis and said he worked hard.”
He looked back at her. “I want him next in line after me. If I’m gone, I’m turning things over to Lewis.”
“When your three months are up that you promised Thane, you’ll be gone, won’t you?” He’d already been there more than a month so he had less than two months left now.
“I promise I won’t leave you in the lurch.”
She felt the loss times two. Mike would be gone from her life and from the ranch.
Before he left, there was something she had to ask him. “I want to ask you—if we have a little boy, will it be all right with you to name him Thane?”
“That’s fine with me.”
“You know I don’t even know your full name.”
“Michael Cassano Moretti. A little Italian influence there, I think. Don’t hang those on a little baby, but then you won’t be using any of my names. I’m sure if it’s a boy you’ll name him Thane Warner—right?” he asked.
“I don’t know, Mike. We have time to think about names.”
He sat up on the side of the bed. “I’ll go shower and cook those steaks if you want.”
“I can probably find something Francie left that would be a lot easier to just heat and eat ”
“I’d like that. I’ll probably be hungry later. I’m not right now.” He left to go into the adjoining bathroom.
As soon as he closed the door, she got out of bed and gathered her clothes to take them to her room and shower.
When she went downstairs later, there was no sign of Mike. In the kitchen she found a note in neat handwriting: I need to think things over. I will talk to you tomorrow.
She wondered if he would talk to her tomorrow or if that was just putting off saying goodbye. She decided to pack her things that she wanted for the next week and go to Dallas to stay in her condo. She could get away from Mike, from hurtful memories, from ranch responsibilities. She’d leave a note for Francie and give her the week off. Mike ate his meals with the men anyway.
Tears fell. She would miss Mike. She had done what she knew she shouldn’t—she had fallen in love with him and it hurt to decline his proposal, but she didn’t want to marry him when he wasn’t in love and he still couldn’t cope with her inheritance at all.
Why was he so wonderful in so many other ways, but not in that way? So old-fashioned and unyielding. He wanted to marry her anyway, but she couldn’t see how marriage without love on his part would ever work out.
If they married without his love, it would be like tonight—he would just leave as he had done now. She couldn’t see him anymore because there wasn’t any future in it. They couldn’t continue this relationship. She wasn’t going to just be there for sex and no love.
She sank into a chair, put her head in her hands and cried. She missed Mike already. If only he felt differently...
Her hand rested on her middle as if cradling the baby that grew there. “Michael Thane Warner,” she whispered aloud. “Thane Michael Warner.” She didn’t care if she had a boy or a girl. She just wanted a healthy baby. “I love both of you,” she said. Thane was gone but he’d never had a choice. But Mike did. He’d made his choice. He wasn’t in love and he had let her go.
Tomorrow, she was leaving the ranch and she didn’t think she would ever come back to live there.
* * *
Mike showered and dressed for work, hoping he could keep his mind on what he was doing long enough to be useful. He was going to be a dad. Vivian was carrying his baby. What a muddle he had made of things. She wanted love. She should get a little more practical and think about having a dad around for their baby. He expected her to sell the ranch. There was nothing to hold her here. He had planned to leave. The worst would be putting the ranch on the market and having Clint Woodson buy it. Mike shook his head. He wasn’t going to worry over that one. He had enough to think about.
Since Vivian was financially covered, the dynamics were different than they would have been otherwise. She didn’t need Mike to help support their baby. She didn’t need him at all. She was independent in every way.
He would just have to let her go and they would have to work out some kind of schedule where they could each spend time with their child. This was something he had never expected to have happen in his life. He dreaded going home and telling his mother. She would never understand why he and Vivian weren’t married.
As soon as he was dressed for the day, he went downstairs. Vivian was nowhere around, not that he expected to see her. He thought about the unanswered phone calls. She had been avoiding him. He’d had a slight nagging feeling that something was wrong, but he’d shrugged it off. Now he knew he had been right to feel that way.
In a couple of months, his life would be changing again. He had planned to leave when the three months were up anyway. This wasn’t the place for him to work. He had always felt there was no future for him with Vivian. Not when she had “billion-dollar heiress” attached to her résumé.
“Damn,” he said softly as he moved around the kitchen, pouring orange juice, getting black coffee, making toast. If he stayed, they might fall in love. If he left, they for sure wouldn’t. Falling in love would be best for their child, but could he live with her with all that money? Some men would think he was ridiculous and out of touch with this century, but he just wasn’t wired to accept his wife having one of the biggest fortunes in the state.
Would Vivian be happy staying on the ranch? During the baby and toddler years, it would probably be better if he stayed on the ranch with her if she did. He still wanted to leave, but he couldn’t walk away now. He needed to be here for Vivian and for his child. Then a thought struck him and he shook his head. Vivian might prefer that he get out of her life. She could date other men, meet someone else and get married.
That thought hurt. He didn’t like to think of her out with any other man. He definitely didn’t like to think about her marrying someone else and another man raising his child.
Mike swore again softly, raking his fingers through his hair and standing. His appetite was gone. He threw away the toast, put the dishes in the dishwasher and finally got his hat and left the house. He wouldn’t come back until late. That was one thing he could lose himself in—hard, physical labor—and he welcomed it so he could stop thinking about Vivian.
He thought about moving back to
the guesthouse. There was no point in it. He could stay right where he was in the main house and never see Vivian if she didn’t want to see him or if he didn’t want to see her. All suites on the second floor had outside exits. He would stay in the main house. He would do something to acknowledge Lewis taking more responsibility. If Lewis would accept moving up, Mike could let him move into the foreman’s house and get it done over the way Lewis wanted.
And if Mike changed his mind about staying on the ranch, there was always the guesthouse that he could move back into.
He couldn’t stop being amazed at the fact that he was going to be a dad. How long would it take for the shock to wear off? He wondered if Vivian would cooperate. She had sounded hurt, angry and matter-of-fact about the situation. Part of her easy acceptance was the security of the money, he was sure. That would take a number of worries away. And it really left him free because she didn’t want any monetary help from him and she didn’t want to marry him. He could turn his back and walk away and she would merely say goodbye.
They weren’t in love and that was another big factor. If they had been in love, the simple and instant solution would have been to get married.
That wasn’t the case and it was one more reason for him to leave the Tumbling T Ranch. Although, he thought Vivian might be gone before he was.
He had a feeling that he and Vivian had spent their last night together. He didn’t expect to see much of her from now on, though eventually, she would have to sit down with him and talk about their future and their baby.
He left the house and jumped into his pickup, hoping a day of work could take his mind off Vivian and the baby. He’d much prefer worrying about the ranch and a bunch of cattle.
* * *
It took all morning for Vivian to pack, and in the early afternoon, Henry carried her things to the limo. There were no calls from Mike and she knew they were over. They wouldn’t ever keep that date to go to the club to dinner and go dancing. She missed him already and she hurt because she loved him. For the second time in her life she had fallen in love and it had come to a disastrous end. This time, though, it wasn’t fate that had taken her man; it was her fortune.
“Stubborn, stubborn old-fashioned man,” she whispered. And he wouldn’t change. It was ingrained in him.
She glanced around the suite, making sure one last time that she had everything then went downstairs. She wanted off the ranch, away from the memories with Mike. She had clung to the ranch and the memories she’d had there with Thane because they had been wonderful and a comfort. The memories of the happy times there with Mike just made her long for him and wish things were different when they never would be.
She hoped she could move back to the city, pick up her city life and her friends again and find someone to enjoy going out with, to have a casual, happy relationship with.
Henry approached her, insisting on carrying out the small tote bag she held. She was so grateful for him. He and Millie would be staying in one of Vivian’s family’s condos as long as she was in Dallas. It was close by and she could get him on his cell phone any time she needed him.
She was just about to leave when Millie appeared. “I put the baby books in the desk drawer in the library.”
“Thank you. I already have them packed and in the car. Henry won’t let me carry anything.”
Millie laughed. “I’m sure he won’t. I’m rather enjoying getting waited on hand and foot. Henry and I will be moving into the Dallas condo this afternoon so we’ll be nearby. I’m getting things together now.”
“I hope this isn’t a big upheaval.”
“Actually, we’ll both be happy to be in Dallas. Henry isn’t a cowboy and I love the city, so it will be a nice change.”
“I’m glad.” She gave Millie a few final instructions about her artwork then felt compelled to fill her in on her personal situation. “I’ve told Mike about the baby. He was shocked and he’s probably still in shock, which I can understand.”
Millie’s expression sobered. “I hope you two can work things out. Henry says Mike is a really good guy like Thane was.”
“Yes, he is. He asked me to marry him, but he’s not in love and I don’t think it would really work out.”
“You don’t think you would fall in love with each other?”
“I don’t know, but for now that doesn’t seem the thing to do.”
“I hope you can work it out. I’m just so excited about us having babies around the same time.”
Millie was due in December and Vivian in February. Their babies would grow up together. That was one thing Vivian could look forward to.
Millie said goodbye, going upstairs to get more things packed, and Vivian decided she needed one last look around the house before she got in the limo. She had put one of the baby books in her purse to read on the drive to Dallas. She really didn’t know much about babies, but she was going to learn. She suspected she would learn very quickly.
She turned around as Mike came down the hall from the back.
“What are you doing here?” she asked.
“I heard you were ready to leave soon, so I thought I’d come say goodbye.”
“Henry is loading the limo and it’s waiting for me now.”
“That’s good.” Mike walked up to her and touched her hand, rubbing it lightly with his fingers. She had the usual tingles that she got when she first saw him. That hadn’t changed at all. And the sizzle increased when he held her hand firmly in his. She wanted his arms around her, his mouth on hers. She wanted to be with him, to have him hold and love her and tell her that he loved her, but that wasn’t going to happen.
Saying goodbye now was going to be rough. In some ways, she wished he hadn’t come back to say goodbye. She had been doing all right about leaving, but now it wasn’t going to be easy to smile through telling him goodbye, knowing that it might be absolute.
Henry came in. “Hi, Mike. I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.” He turned to Vivian. “We have the car packed. Ben is ready to drive. Is there anything else?”
She shook her head.
“Then I think you should be ready to go in a couple of minutes.”
“I’m in no hurry, Henry.”
“Sure,” he said and disappeared down the hall.
She turned back to Mike. “I guess this is goodbye for now.”
He still ran his finger back and forth on her hand. “You’ll be at your condo?”
“Yes, and you know my phone number.” There was a moment of silence between them as their gazes locked, and Vivian felt the pain so sharply. She didn’t want to think about how final in so many ways this goodbye would be.
He took her arm lightly. “Come here,” he said and they walked into the library and he closed the door. He turned to look at her and his eyes looked dark and stormy. He slipped his arms around her waist and drew her to him to kiss her, his mouth covering hers and his tongue stroking hers.
She wanted his lovemaking. She wanted his strong body against hers and his strong arms around her while they kissed. She wanted his love. She wanted him in her life.
She knew that wasn’t going to happen, but his body was hard and he was aroused, ready to love. She trembled and clung to him, kissing him with all the passion and need she could pour into their kiss.
She wanted to hold him, to hear words of love, to stay on the ranch with him. Instead, there were just the sounds of their heavy breathing as she shifted against him.
Finally, she leaned away a fraction. She wanted to say, “I love you,” but she wasn’t going to when he didn’t love her. “I’d better get going.”
Neither could she say goodbye. Because of their baby, they had locked their lives together for the next twenty years or more, but this was goodbye to their nights of loving, goodbye to the hot sex and the fun, goodbye to the intimacy. Goodbye
to spending time with him. She had to stop thinking about it or she would burst in to tears and she was not going to do that when she was with him. He had made his choice and was doing what he wanted to do. She just had to let him go.
Mike spoke in to the silence, erasing the need for her to utter the dreaded word. “Okay, Vivian. We’ll talk. I’ll call you and we can go out like we started to do.”
“Sure, Mike,” she said, knowing he wouldn’t call and they wouldn’t go out. This was goodbye.
He gave her a long look and then turned and left without looking back. She heard his boots as he went down the hall. She walked out, but he had already gone out of sight. She ran back into the library and closed the door, letting the tears fall.
When she got her emotions under control, she wiped her eyes and walked to the window to look out, knowing Mike had left and he probably wouldn’t give a lot of thought to the past.
When would losing Mike stop hurting? Every place they had been together would stir memories and cause her pain if she was there again. How long would it be before it stopped aching to remember being with Mike? Was it going to hurt like this each time they had to get together after their baby was born?
The pain racked her, and she couldn’t help wondering: Did he even hurt at all or wish things were different?
Nine
A week later as evening approached, Mike climbed into his pickup and turned to drive home. Home. He shook his head. He was beginning to think of the suite where he lived in the main house as his home. In reality, it was a temporary place that he really should move out of. He had moved in for Vivian, to help get rid of Clint. He must have succeeded because he hadn’t heard a thing from her about Clint. Actually, he hadn’t heard anything from her at all. Not since she’d left the ranch.
He missed her. The big house was empty without her. He worked late and he ate dinner with the men so that by the time he got to his suite he was pretty much ready for bed. Even then, he was still unable to sleep, even when he was exhausted.
