My Mother's Secret

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My Mother's Secret Page 21

by Sheila O'Flanagan

Liam looked pleased. ‘Glad you like it.’

  ‘It’s amazing,’ she said. ‘I wasn’t hungry, but …’

  ‘When you’ve finished your soup, you can tell us how come you’ve walked in here looking like Ophelia,’ said Bobby.

  ‘I’ll leave you in peace,’ said Liam. ‘It’s obviously a family matter.’

  ‘No, don’t.’ She reached out and touched his arm, then withdrew her fingers quickly. She’d touched Liam Kinsella before, high-fiving him at a rounders game or giving him a sympathetic pat on the back when he’d been run out. It hadn’t been a big deal. But brushing her fingers against his skin now seemed suddenly and shockingly intimate.

  She took another sip of the soup. While she ate, Bobby and Tom talked inconsequentially about the B&B they were staying in. Steffie was grateful to them for the chatter. She wasn’t ready to tell them about her mother’s affair yet. Still less that she was the result of it. She was still coming to terms with it herself.

  She didn’t feel quite as shaky as she had earlier when she finally finished the soup and put the spoon down. The men on the opposite side of the table gave her encouraging smiles as she cleared her throat and began to speak. Their expressions changed from encouragement to shock as she told them about Jenny and Gregory and the fact that it was Gregory, and not Pascal, who was her biological father. Bobby took her hand and squeezed it.

  ‘And of course Liam doesn’t know the other part,’ she added. ‘That Mum and Dad weren’t even married in the first place.’

  ‘What?’ Liam was completely gobsmacked. ‘But it was their anniversary party, wasn’t it?’

  ‘It wouldn’t have been if they’d been truthful with us from the start,’ said Steffie.

  ‘You poor pet.’ Tom reached across the table and squeezed her other hand. ‘It’s been a tough day for you, hasn’t it.’

  ‘I feel I should be OK,’ said Steffie. ‘I mean, although it’s totally bizarre, the wedding thing isn’t such a big deal really. The important thing is that they’re happy together. But … but finding out about Gregory … that’s hard.’

  ‘I’m not surprised you keeled over,’ said Liam. ‘I wonder did anyone know about your mum and him back then.’

  ‘Oh God!’ The thought had never occurred to Steffie. ‘You mean everyone could have guessed already? They might have been talking about it – and me – behind our backs!’

  ‘I doubt it very much.’ Liam backtracked on his words when he saw the distress on Steffie’s face. ‘I never heard any rumours about your parents, and you know what it’s like around here. Everyone knows everything.’

  ‘In which case they probably do know,’ Steffie pointed out.

  ‘I shouldn’t have said anything,’ said Liam. ‘I’ve upset you even more and I really don’t think there’s any need. As far as the anniversary is concerned, my mum and dad were thrilled to go to the party and I know Mum wouldn’t have been able to keep it secret if she’d suspected even for a second that your parents weren’t married. And Steffie, if anyone thought your dad wasn’t your dad … well, surely there would have been some gossip about it before now.’

  ‘Perhaps you’re right.’ Steffie rubbed her fingers across her eyebrows.

  ‘Anyway, your biological father isn’t important,’ Tom told her. ‘Pascal’s always been your dad. You know that.’

  ‘Yes, I do,’ she said. ‘But that’s not the point, Tom. They lied to me all my life. And I know he’ll always be my dad, but … but he’s not part of me. I used to like it when people said they could see him in me because everyone always banged on about how much I took after Mum whereas Roisin and Davey are the spit of Dad. And now I find out I’m like her because I don’t have any of Dad’s genes at all. Everything I have comes from a nude sheep farmer in New Zealand.’

  Bobby laughed. He couldn’t help it.

  ‘It’s not funny,’ she said, although her mouth twitched involuntarily.

  ‘It’s the image,’ said Tom. ‘I see him in a kind of Brokeback Mountain way, rounding up the sheep on a horse in his pelt.’

  ‘Stop.’ Steffie was smiling now, although her eyes were bright with tears again.

  ‘Steffie, who you are is more important than who your parents are,’ said Liam. ‘And you’re a smart, attractive woman with her own business. That comes from you yourself.’

  ‘I think you’re exaggerating the smart, attractive and business elements,’ she said. ‘But thanks all the same.’

  ‘Would you all like coffee?’ Liam stood up. ‘Or tea?’

  ‘Coffee, please,’ replied Bobby, and Tom nodded in agreement.

  ‘How about you, Steffie?’ asked Liam.

  ‘Coffee would be nice,’ she agreed.

  He went into the kitchen, leaving her alone with Bobby and Tom.

  ‘Where did you say you were going when you walked out?’ Bobby asked her. ‘Did they try to stop you?’

  ‘They couldn’t have even if they’d wanted to,’ she answered. ‘I didn’t tell them anything.’

  ‘It might be a good idea to let them know where you are.’ Tom spoke gently. ‘I’m sure they’re worried about you.’

  Steffie snorted. ‘Why? They weren’t worried about me when they kept secrets from me.’

  ‘They wanted to tell you,’ said Bobby. ‘I guess they didn’t know how.’

  ‘Oh for God’s sake!’ she exclaimed. ‘They had twenty-seven years to figure it out.’

  ‘Nonetheless,’ said Tom, ‘you should ring them and put their minds at rest. After all, it’s a horrible night and there are floods all over the place.’

  Steffie sighed. ‘I don’t want to talk to them. And,’ she added, ‘I left my phone behind.’

  ‘Let me.’ Bobby took out his phone. ‘I have Roisin’s number,’ he said. ‘She’s probably the best one to talk to anyway.’

  Chapter 24

  ‘Oh, thank God.’ Jenny had come back downstairs again and was sitting at the kitchen table when Roisin took the call and told them all that Steffie was with Tom and Bobby. ‘They’re both sensible people. They’ll look after her.’

  ‘They’re in Cody’s,’ continued Roisin.

  ‘Cody’s!’ exclaimed Pascal. ‘What on earth made her go to Cody’s?’

  ‘She had car trouble,’ Roisin said. ‘She stopped off there.’

  ‘I knew she’d end up in some sort of trouble,’ said Jenny. ‘When’s she coming home?’

  ‘He doesn’t know yet,’ said Roisin after a quick conversation with Bobby. ‘He says he’ll call again later.’

  ‘Tell him I want to talk to her,’ said Jenny.

  ‘I’m sorry.’ Roisin looked at her mother. ‘She doesn’t want to talk to you.’

  Jenny crumpled back into the seat, although the relief in knowing that Steffie was all right meant that her face had lost the haggard look of earlier.

  Roisin ended the call and then dialled another number.

  ‘Davey,’ she said when the phone was answered. ‘We know where Steffie is. And I think you should go there and bring her home.’

  ‘That’s a relief,’ said Colette when Davey shared the news. ‘Jeez, though, there she is living it up in the best restaurant in the area while we’re out like total eejits in the rain looking for her.’

  ‘I’ve never been to Cody’s,’ said Davey. ‘At least, not as a restaurant. It used to be Mulligan’s pub, on the back road, so it’s pretty close to where she abandoned the car.’

  ‘Crashed the car,’ Colette corrected him.

  ‘There was no talk of crashed cars from Roisin,’ said Davey. ‘Which is why I didn’t say anything. I’m glad we didn’t call when we found it.’

  ‘Let’s go get her.’ Colette put the Santa Fe into gear and set off for the restaurant.

  The rain had eased off a little, although a steady stream of water ran alongside the road, occasionally flooding across it and causing Colette to swear softly under her breath. When they reached the restaurant she stopped as close as possible to the entrance,
then both she and Davey sprinted from the car to the door.

  They heard the laughter before they went inside and they exchanged glances. Davey’s expression was grim as he pushed the door open and saw Steffie, Tom, Bobby and Liam Kinsella sitting around a table drinking the Irish coffees that Liam had decided would be a good idea in addition to the regular kind.

  ‘Glad to see you’re enjoying yourself,’ he said to Steffie. ‘You’ve had us all worried sick.’

  ‘What on earth are you doing here?’ She looked at him in astonishment. ‘Bobby phoned home to let Mum and Dad know where I was. You didn’t have to come haring out after me.’

  ‘Colette and I have been looking for you for the past hour,’ said Davey. ‘Everyone was concerned about you being upset, being out in such awful weather and having had too much to drink. Not that it seems to be stopping you from having more!’

  ‘Oh Davey.’ Steffie looked stricken. ‘I’m so sorry, I’d no idea.’

  ‘I brought out the Irish coffees.’ Liam stood up and faced Davey. ‘Steffie didn’t ask for one.’

  ‘She should have more sense,’ said Davey. ‘And we were right to be worried because Colette and I saw her car in a damn ditch a kilometre down the road.’

  ‘Steffie!’ Bobby looked at her in horror. ‘You didn’t say you’d crashed.’

  ‘It wasn’t a proper crash,’ she told him. ‘The car slid in some water, that’s all.’

  ‘I thought you were wet from standing outside,’ said Tom. ‘Which, now that I think about how drenched you were, is ridiculous. Oh Steffie, you should’ve said.’

  ‘You didn’t injure yourself, did you?’ Liam turned to her.

  ‘No. No. I’m fine,’ she said. ‘A couple of blisters on my feet, that’s all.’

  ‘Come on,’ said Davey. ‘It’s time to go.’

  Steffie shook her head.

  ‘Don’t be stupid,’ he said. ‘You’ve got to come home.’

  ‘I don’t want to go back to Aranbeg,’ she said.

  ‘Steffie, for crying out loud!’ Davey was infuriated. ‘The rain might have eased off but the floods haven’t lessened. The roads are in a terrible state. You’ve got to leave now.’

  ‘I can’t go back there. I don’t want to see her right now.’

  ‘You’re behaving like a child,’ he said. ‘Get your things and come home.’

  ‘Davey, please.’ She looked at him anxiously. ‘I just can’t.’

  ‘Leave her.’ Colette put her hand on his arm. ‘If she needs a little time, she’s entitled to it. You can’t force her to come with us.’

  ‘Thank you,’ said Steffie.

  ‘Mum’s very upset,’ said Davey. ‘So is Dad. The least you could do is come back and talk to them.’

  ‘I can’t,’ said Steffie. ‘Not now. I’d only say things I’d regret.’

  ‘I know it’s difficult for you,’ he said. ‘But we all love you, Steffie. Nothing has changed.’

  ‘Everything has changed,’ she said. ‘Everything.’

  Davey gave her a despairing look. He understood that she was upset but there was no need. He didn’t think of her as anything other than his sister. He didn’t think of his parents as anything other than the happily married couple they’d always appeared. He wanted her to feel the same way.

  ‘I’ll run her home when she’s ready,’ said Liam. ‘Don’t worry, Davey.’

  ‘You’re Liam Kinsella, right?’ Davey looked at him quizzically. ‘You used to come to the house to pick up … Michelle, wasn’t it?’

  ‘Yes,’ he said. ‘I own the restaurant. I promise you I’ll get Steffie home safely.’

  ‘It’s nice to see you again, Liam,’ said Colette. ‘You probably don’t remember me from visiting Aranbeg. You look great, by the way.’

  ‘Of course I remember you,’ said Liam. ‘You look great too.’

  ‘She is great.’ Davey ignored Liam and gave Steffie a reproachful look. ‘She’s been doing all the driving while we’ve been searching for you.’

  ‘Oh God, Colette, I’m sorry,’ said Steffie. ‘I never thought anyone would come after me.’

  ‘You ran away in the middle of the worst storm in years,’ said Colette. ‘Of course we came looking for you.’

  ‘I didn’t think …’ Stefie squeezed past Tom, got up from the banquette and hugged her cousin. ‘Thank you for coming out in such filthy weather.’

  ‘That’s OK.’ Colette held her for a moment, then patted her on the back. Steffie felt her eyes well up with tears but she blinked them away. She wasn’t going to start crying again.

  ‘And knowing the trouble we went to, you still won’t come home?’ Davey asked when she and Colette had stepped apart again.

  ‘I need some time on my own. That’s all,’ she said.

  ‘You’re hardly on your own.’

  ‘We’ll look after her,’ Bobby promised. ‘Don’t worry.’

  Davey sighed, then frowned as he focused on the wet jacket hanging over the back of a chair.

  ‘Is that my jacket?’ he asked.

  ‘Oh, it’s yours?’ Steffie looked at him apologetically. ‘I grabbed the first one I saw when I was leaving the house. I’m sorry. Hopefully it’ll dry out OK.’

  Davey took the jacket and patted the pockets.

  ‘I didn’t touch anything,’ Steffie assured him.

  He took his wallet from the top pocket and then went through the jacket again.

  ‘Honestly,’ she said. ‘Whatever was in it is still in it.’

  ‘Not everything,’ he said.

  ‘I threw it on the back seat of the car,’ she said. ‘If you’ve lost keys or something, that’s where you’ll find them.’

  ‘For fuck’s sake, Steffie!’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she repeated.

  ‘Is everything OK?’ asked Colette.

  ‘Oh, for Steffie it is,’ said Davey grimly. ‘Come on, we’ll leave her to her merriment and be on our way.’

  He strode out of the door, Colette following him.

  It banged closed behind them.

  ‘What’s the matter?’ asked Colette as they got into the Santa Fe. ‘What’s missing from your jacket?’

  Davey shook his head. He couldn’t trust himself to speak. If Steffie had somehow managed to lose the engagement ring he’d planned to give Camilla, he’d kill her. And then, he thought angrily, she wouldn’t have to worry about who her damned father was.

  ‘Stop here,’ he said to Colette as they approached the Citroën. ‘I need to check inside.’

  She pulled in close to the ditch, leaving her hazard warning lights flashing in case another vehicle came along the road. Davey got out of the Santa Fe and clambered into Steffie’s car, which was now about half a metre deep in muddy water. It was entirely possible, he thought, that the box containing the engagement ring had fallen out of his jacket pocket when the car slid into the ditch and had now been washed away. But with only the car’s feeble interior light, and given the awkward angle it was at as well as the flood water, it was difficult to search. He was getting more and more stressed and more and more angry with Steffie. Yes, she had a right to be upset. But she’d caused more chaos than anyone tonight by storming out of the house, crashing her damn car and losing his engagement ring. Thinking about it being lost made his heart palpitate. It wasn’t simply the expense of it; it was the fact that he’d spent so much time choosing the perfect one. Admittedly his plans to give it to Camilla in a romantic haze of happiness during his parents’ anniversary party had been shot to pieces. But the idea of not being able to give it to her at all was making his head spin.

  ‘Can I help?’ Colette poked her head around the open door.

  ‘I don’t think so,’ he said. ‘I’ve looked everywhere and I can’t find it.’

  ‘What exactly are you looking for?’ she asked. ‘Maybe whatever it is has fallen out of the car.’

  ‘It’s a bloody engagement ring in a box!’ Davey hadn’t intended to tell anyone about the ring, but
Colette had been brilliant tonight, and besides, perhaps a woman would see what he’d missed.

  ‘An engagement ring?’

  ‘Yes,’ he said. ‘It was in my jacket pocket. I was going to ask Camilla to marry me.’

  ‘Oh.’

  ‘Oh indeed.’ Davey didn’t see the expression on Colette’s face. Nor did he notice the bleakness in her voice. ‘Really and truly I want to throttle Steffie. She’s ruined the party and she’s ruined my plans too.’

  Colette sank to her knees and looked in the wet grass around her. There was no sign of a box.

  ‘What colour was it?’ Her words were jerky.

  ‘It’s a diamond,’ Davey said.

  ‘I meant the box.’

  ‘Oh. Blue.’

  Colette returned to the Santa Fe and took out a large Maglite torch. The beam cut through the darkness.

  ‘You’re fantastic,’ said Davey. ‘Shine it in here.’

  But even with the light of the torch they couldn’t find the box, either in the car or in the surrounding area.

  ‘Maybe it fell out earlier,’ suggested Colette faintly. ‘Back at the house.’

  ‘Maybe.’ Davey sounded defeated. ‘I wanted it to be perfect, you know. And now it’s all ruined. I’ll kill Steffie. I really will.’

  Colette said nothing. Then Davey’s phone rang.

  ‘Yes, yes,’ he said. ‘We’re on our way now. No, Roisin, she’s not with us. She’s knocking back Irish coffees in Cody’s.’ He thrust the phone into the pocket of his trousers.

  ‘If you don’t find it tonight at the house, we can come out tomorrow and look.’ Colette’s voice was a little stronger. ‘Perhaps we’ll see it when the water recedes. Or it could have fallen underneath the car, which is going to have to be hauled out anyway.’

  ‘You’re a brick.’ He gave her a quick hug. ‘I’m glad you’re with me tonight.’

  ‘No problem,’ said Colette as they got back into her car.

  She started the engine and drove towards Aranbeg. It was weird, she thought, how her heart was feeling positively squeezed right now. After all, she shouldn’t be surprised or upset that Davey had decided to ask Camilla to marry him. He was living with her, after all. It was just … She realised with a shock that a small part of her had always hoped that one day Davey might realise how much she meant to him. That he would fall for her in the same way as she’d fallen for him all those years ago. Every time she’d got engaged, she’d waited for Davey to phone her and say that he was devastated by the news. But he hadn’t. And he never would. He was her cousin, after all, and he was in love with someone else. He wanted to get engaged to Camilla. And he wasn’t doing it to make some kind of statement to Colette as she’d done, fruitlessly, to him.

 

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