by K. S. Adkins
“You’re an asshole,” he suddenly laughed out loud.
“True,” I agreed with a vigorous nod and reaching into the box I declared, “I have to watch Womb Raider, Axle. I fucking have to!”
With an honest to God straight face, he announced, “Throbbin’ hood, Prince of Beaves is a lot better. It actually has a plot.” This time when I fell over, he followed by climbing on top of me.
The thing about feelings was, when I bothered to recognize them, they usually bit me in the ass.
Having Axle back was everything to me but these fucking feelings…
Gah, they were too much.
Though an adult and fully capable of taking care of himself, Shane was on my mind and heart constantly. My calls went straight to voicemail and my text messages went unanswered. I couldn’t shake this annoying compulsion that I needed to ask him if he was mad at me. Swear to God, I couldn’t bear the thought of him angry at me, but more than that…I just fucking missed him.
To make emotional matters worse, I agreed to brunch with Carrie.
Don’t get me wrong, I liked, her but Axle was right. She brought out all of my protective instincts and I found myself wanting to really know her. You know, the stuff you’d learn about a girlfriend you’d just met.
Fuck me, there it is.
We really were going to be besties…
I’d lose all my street cred after this.
Because The Hole was in transition, and Legacy was running so well, for the first time in, well…ever—I had nothing to do. And I was spending it with my man’s ex-wife.
Neither Axle or I understood why I was down with this, I just knew that…I was.
Parking his truck across the street, I pay the attendant and head into Punch Bowl Social.
I wanted to be irritated because it was loud and the music sucked, but I had to remind myself most people didn’t like metal pounding in their ears twenty-four seven. Which was just another example that people generally sucked.
“Drew!” Nodding that I saw her, I slide into the booth across from her and drop my bag. “Shit,” she whispers crestfallen. “You hate it here.”
Toughen her up, my mind screamed. God hates liars, I tried to reason. It’s too bright in here, I almost groaned. I hit hipsters, I don’t eat lunch near them, I said mentally. But verbally I went with, “It’s great, Carrie, no worries.” And the smile that lit her face actually gave me goosebumps. Carrie was truly a nice person and wanted to be my friend so taking a deep breath, I embraced it.
“So I ordered you an appletini,” she says sliding a menu over.
“Why?” Flies out of my mouth but I covered it nicely with, “Why thank you.”
“Welcome,” she says leaning in and wondering what the secret was, I did the same. “You are very beautiful, Drew.”
“Since the ship sailed on weird, I’m going with uncomfortable.”
“Sorry,” she says softly. “I didn’t mean to – ”
“Stop apologizing, Carrie. I’m just not used to compliments especially from – ”
“Your boyfriend’s ex-wife?”
“I was going to say, friends.”
“Am I?” she asks tugging at her zipper. “Your friend?”
Just then, the server dropped off our sugar rushes and tossing the lame decor to the side, I slammed it. Fighting back scrunching up my face or even vomiting, I cough out, “Yes, you are my friend.”
“Oh good!” she claps and for the next two hours she let me know exactly how my wedding was going to be. A wedding mind you, Axle hadn’t asked me to star in yet.
Her excitement was contagious and a few times I even found myself offering my opinion (on my own non-existent wedding). I was certain the four appletinis I mainlined probably had something to do with this because I didn’t have marriage on the brain. So when my phone rang and I saw it was Axle I held up my finger to answer.
“Hi,” I grin into the phone.
“Woman,” he says low. “I gave you three hours. Get home and service me, I’m done waiting.”
“Service you?” I ask raising an eye brow at which she snickers.
“Drew,” he warns in his sexy voice. “I’m starting Beverly Hills Cock in twenty minutes with or without you.”
“You wouldn’t!”
“Bet your ass I would.”
“You can’t put a banana-in-the-tail-pipe alone!”
“I can fucking try,” he chuckles evilly.
Looking up at Carrie, who was fighting her own laugh, I throw cash down, slide from my seat and hug her neck before announcing, “Yeah so, I have to go.”
“Banana in the tailpipe?”
“Do you really want to know?” I ask with a wicked grin.
Shaking her head and allowing a burp to escape she giggles, “No. Yes. No. Maybe another time.”
“Deal,” I say ready to sprint for the door.
“Wait,” she says kneeling up on her booth. “Would um, Tiny like a banana in the tail pipe?”
“Why yes,” I grin evilly. “I do believe he would.”
For the record, I made it home in fifteen minutes.
“Hey,” I said taking her chin in my palm. When her eyes meet mine, I lean down and place a kiss on her lips and tell her, “I love you, Drew.”
“I love you too, Axle.”
“Loved you a long time.”
“I know,” she smiled. “Because I have too.”
“I’m going to say it a lot.”
“And I promise, I’ll do the same.”
With that, I watched her head out to meet Shane and I didn’t like that I wouldn’t be with her. I fucking hated that she asked to speak with him alone. I had this feeling in my gut that she needed my protection. Then again, I’ve felt that way since the first time I saw her, and if there was a woman who could fend for herself, it was Drew. The woman was a law unto herself. Nothing phased her, whereas when it came to her, all I could seem to do was count down until she came home. Shit, I paced the entire time she had brunch with Carrie and bribed her with porn to come back early. Plainly put, I was whipped and fucking proud of it.
Something was wrong.
I could feel it in my bones. I was uneasy and couldn’t shake it. Despite her checking in every couple of hours, I didn’t like her being away from me. She had an appointment with a vendor before stopping at The Hole to meet with Mitchell. That, I had no problem with, it was the sudden lunch with Shane I didn’t like. Not that I didn’t trust the kid, I did. It’s just that for the last few weeks he’d put distance between him and Drew, which hurt her, and in turn, pissed me off. That kid was on her mind all the fucking time and now that he’d reached out; she’d wanted to meet him alone.
Yes, I was hurt that she asked me to sit this one out, but to be fair, I was also stuck at Foxy’s going over shit with Whisky that could no longer be put off.
However, my last call went to voicemail and the last two texts I sent she hasn’t bothered to respond to.
Ready to pack it up and say fuck it, Drew texted me she was fine and that her meeting ran over with Mitchell. She promised to text me before, during, and after lunch with Shane. She also promised to get her ass back to me directly after. “You need to take your woman in hand,” Whisky says shaking his head in disappointment.
“You're only talking shit because she’s not here,” I laugh. “But Don't worry, I’ll tell her what you said and watch as she knocks your teeth out.”
“Pussy,” he mumbles dropping another box on the table. The next hour was spent deciding which files to go after and which to forget. During that time, I never bothered to revisit the pussy comment because I was too damn busy checking my phone. Drew said she was picking the kid up at his house and she hasn’t said shit since.
When my phone rang, I saw it was Gadget and answered right away.
“Your woman isn’t answering her phone,” he says cutting to the chase.
“She’s out to lunch with Shane,” I explain and I know he caught my feelings on the matte
r. “She won’t answer because hasn’t seen him in a while and she’ll give him her full attention.”
“Then we have a serious fucking problem, Axle. Load up,” he barks into the phone. “I’ll be there in five minutes.”
Before I could say shit Whisky, had already had his gear out and was suiting up handing me shit along the way.
Shoulda trusted my gut!
“I gotta get to Drew,” I moan from the depths of my soul.
“You will,” he says stuffing a .40 behind his back.
“I gotta get to Drew!” I roar wiping the table clean of boxes. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think of anything except her.
Slamming me into the wall, he pins me by my throat with his forearm and says, “We’ll kill who needs killing, but we ain’t doin’ none of that if your head ain’t right.” Grinding my jaw, he applies more pressure and asks, “Your head right yet?”
“Let him go,” Gadget says entering the room, and with an eye roll he did. “Willis was fired two days ago,” he says crossing his arms over his chest. “Been keeping an eye and the guy is riled up. He’s done laying low, and last we heard, motherfucker’s been on one hell of a bender. He’s a gun collector and trained in hand to hand. Willis is not a street fighter though. Keep that in mind, my man.” Looking down at his wife, Camo, she nods and steps forward.
“Because Drew is our girl, we kept digging. Now I’m not saying she’s in some shit, but I’m also not saying she isn’t either. But she sure as fuck isn’t having lunch with Shane because he’s at a drop in basketball game as we speak. Ex-officer Willis has a problem with our girl, which makes this our problem, if you follow me.”
“Fuck, I – ” I start, but Gadget shuts me down.
“Whisky will head over to cover Shane. Camo and I are going to hit his usual hangouts and do some recon. You,” he says handing me a pair of black gloves. “Are going to Willis’ house and I expect a call in the event she’s there and you need back up.”
We all knew I wouldn’t be making any calls but I nodded my agreement, because it was all I had. “Drew can handle herself until you get to her,” he says firmly with his wife finishing with, “Fuck yeah she can.”
“When this is over,” Whisky says waiting by the door. “I may take up drinking again. Fucking missed that woman.” And then he was gone.
“You loaded up?” Camo asks also heading for the door.
“Yeah,” I lie. Because what I had in store for Willis, a bullet wouldn’t satisfy.
“Let’s bounce,” Gadget says pushing the door open. While they went left, I went right.
Climbing into my truck and flooring it, I continued to call her, and each time it went to voicemail another part of me died. This was not the type of unfinished business I would settle for with an arrest. This was the type of unfinished business that ended with a burial.
“I have a right to be there,” he snapped. “I claimed the kid too, Drew.”
He didn’t understand that I loved Shane and needed some alone time with him. His distance had killed me and I wanted a chance to tell him so without an audience. “Meet with Whisky and handle business,” I tried to convince him. “I’ll check in with you and that way you can work without rushing on my behalf. It’s just lunch, Axle. I’ll be fine.”
“I don’t like fighting with you,” he said gently and when I stayed silent because I didn’t like it either. Taking my chin in his palm and whispered, “I love you, Drew.”
“I love you too, Axle.”
“Loved you a long time.”
“I know. Because I have too.”
“I’m going to say it a lot.”
“And I promise, I’ll do the same.”
It was times like this that I could already hear Axle grunting, God dammit, I told you so, Drew.
If I made it out alive, he’d never let me live this down and I honestly couldn’t blame him.
In my desperation to see Shane, I let my emotions overrule my common sense. Because of that, I was back in the dining room, of all fucking places, with a gun pointed at my face. The man holding said gun was all sorts of fucked up too. Wild eyes, sweat pouring from him, and don’t even get me started on the pacing.
Sometimes he’d speak to me but mostly it was to himself.
But God damn he sure kept that gun steady…
I was sixty percent certain at any moment he was going to blow my head off. Which left me a forty percent chance of at least getting a few swings in before he did. Doing the math in my head, I equated this to me one hundred percent dying today of either a gunshot wound or other casualty.
Yes, I was terrified but I was also unarmed, and while neither of those things were about to change, all I could think about was Axle. Of the future we wouldn’t have. And man did getting robbed of that future piss me off. However, I was glad he wasn’t in the line of fire. Sparing his life was priority one. I’d get myself out of this somehow, I had to. Throwing my hands up I ask Willis, “What the fuck are you waiting for? Divine intervention?”
Taking several steps forward he pistol-whipped me on the right side of my jaw which sent me into the wall.
Grabbing my cheek, I scream in fury, “Ow! What the fuck was that for, petty officer hits like a bitch?”
“She won’t ever get better until you die,” he says sincerely, and I found this tragic and highly inconvenient for me.
“I hate to break it to you but that’s really shitty logic, Willis. Where’s Shane?” I demand.
Looking at me like I’m the one that’s nuts, he literally asks, “What?”
“Where is he?” I repeat. “Did you hurt him?” Please say no, fucking please…
“He’s playing basketball, so I took his phone to text you. It was too easy.”
“Nothing about me is easy,” I snort at the reference. “Okay, well some things are.”
“I told you to send my boy home,” he sneers changing the subject again. “His mother needed him home.”
“Your boy needed protection,” I sneer right back. “From his own mother! Oh and you too!”
“You should have listened to me!”
“Yeah, well you should have put a collar on that bitch so she didn’t blow up my boat and my God damn bar! I didn’t lay a fucking hand on Shane and you know it. He’s my employee and my friend! You let her get away with that shit and not only did that fuck you up, it did a number on your son too. So now you’re going to kill me? For fucking looking out for Shane when you didn’t?”
“She won’t ever get better until you die,” he repeats and I’d had it.
“Clue in, asshole, she boarded the rail to crazy train a long fucking time ago and you purchased the ticket.”
Out of nowhere, his fist connected with my face and on the way to lights out, I swore I saw Camo waving to me from a tree. Weird. Jolted awake by a fist in my hair, I didn’t hold back my scream because that shit hurt. Twisting around, I latched onto his wrist and applied pressure with my thumbs. With no choice but to release me, I pushed off needing distance. Unfortunately, I was still off-balance and not seeing me as a threat, Willis laughed until I did the one thing that would shut him up. I picked up his wife’s bible.
How ya like me now, Jesus?
“Get your filthy hands off the good book!”
Flipping it from front to back, I shrug and say, “It didn’t catch on fire so that means I’m safe, right?”
“You mock the Lord,” he spews at me. “You speak like a whore, dress like a whore – ”
“Now hold the fuck on,” I say raising the book up. “I do not dress like a whore. This is vintage, bitch, pay attention.”
Muttering more nonsense, I estimated the odds were now fifty-fifty that he’d actually take the shot. “Have to die,” he says pacing so I asked him, “You’d shoot someone holding a bible? Doesn’t that, oh I don’t know, go against everything you believe in?”
“You mock the Lord,” he says narrowing his eyes.
“No,” I say rolling mine. “I’m mocki
ng you.”
Then the motherfucker fired. It took me a solid minute to realize he didn’t shoot me. But even without the hole in my body I wasn’t able to stay in one place. Adrenaline and terror flowed through me and I did what any woman would do, I started screaming.
“You don’t pretend to shoot someone you fucking tool! That’s worse than getting shot! You’re a cop! Don’t they teach you that shit? Fuck! Now I have to pee, captain piss-pants!”
“Shut up,” he snarls in warning.
“Fuck you,” I snarl back. “You shut up. Better yet, put the gun away and man the fuck up!”
“You want to fight me?” he asks clearly confused.
“I’m unarmed,” I draw out slowly. “It’s not exactly fair, Willis. At least this way I can fight back.”
At this point, the odds of my dying were out the window because I was in the red zone. I didn’t even think twice before I said, “I’ll go first,” and clocked him upside the head with his wife’s bible. Willis staggered from the force of it and I pounced. Tagging him around the waist, I used my elbows to get my jabs in, only he kept pulling my hair.
“Dirty pool, you fucking piece of – ” his well-placed kidney shot shut me right up and I went down hard. I’d never taken a true blow to the middle before and I wasn’t prepared for the absolute pain that came with it.
Points to Willis, he hits harder than his wife…
“Dad?” I hear from the kitchen and was too busy coughing up a lung to tell Shane to run. When his eyes took me in, the scared boy was gone, and in his place was the fighter Axle had taught him to be. Seething in fury, he still found it in him to help me up. He was such a good kid despite his upbringing. “I’ll kill you,” he vows yet held me gently.
“She’s a whore,” Willis spits. “Your mother will never get better until she dies! Don’t you see that?”
Slow to get my bearings, I wrapped my arms around myself and whispered to Shane. “Look at me,” I beg him and when he does I say, “Please, let me handle this.”
