She looked down at the practical trousers, tunic and wrap she’d been wearing ever since they’d left theSundancer and laughed. “Well, a fresh set of clothes would be most acceptable, and a hot bath, too, and if you could arrange some roast venison and a glass of red wine, I’d be eternally indebted, but I’ll pass on the silk gown.”
He sighed ruefully. “Roast venison! I wish you hadn’t mentioned that. Water and more water, washed down with even more water seems to be all that’s on the menu here. Shall we go down again?”
At the bottom, the widest part of the tower, the walls were plain again, although Elestra could see a door outline.
“Just there,” she said, waving her hands to indicate the extent of it. “Not going to try opening it, though,” she added with a laugh. “It will be below the ground.”
“There’s probably some sort of cavern out there,” Garrett said. “That’s what the other ones I’ve seen are like – a big underground cavern around the roots of the tower, and some kind of magic door. The Bennamore mages got into the southern one with magic, but I don’t know how, unless they had a glass ball.”
“The doors can’tjust be attuned to the glass balls,” Elestra said. “The balls presumably all started off inside the towers. You can’t use a ball to get in if they’re all inside, can you? So it must be a more general kind of magic. Glass ball magic, or Bennamore mage magic, or… well, who knows? Maybe my magic would work, or yours, or Ruell’s, or maybe the dragon could open the doors, but for now we’re safer in here. There’s an entire army outside, and I’m not keen to meet any more soldiers for a while.”
“But what are we going to do?” Ruell said plaintively. “We may be safe from the Drakk’alona army, but we have no food and no way of escape from here, since they’re sitting right outside our only exit.”
“Actually, we will be able to escape, in time,” Elestra said. “When the dragons are big enough, we can open one of the upper doors and fly away from here.”
“And how long will that take?” Ruell said.
“Oh, moons, I expect,” she said cheerfully.
“And meanwhile we starve to death. That’s not much of a strategy, Elestra.”
“No, but it’s the only one we’ve got, for now.” And then she turned to Garrett with that smile that made his heart flop about like a beached fish, and said, “But it will be fine. Garrett will think of some plan to save us. Won’t you?”
And he hadn’t the heart to tell her that he had no more idea of what they were to do than anyone else. They were trapped inside the tower of Ran’ashilla fah, with an army waiting for them outside. The tower was more a prison than a refuge.
He’d been in some tight fixes in his time, but this was one of the worst.
30: Roast Venison (Garrett)
Garrett found his water flask and went back to the water fountain at the top of the tower to fill it. Halfway back down he stopped, sitting with his back to the wall, pondering the predicament they found themselves in. He was used to being in tight corners and finding ingenious ways out, but he couldn’t see one this time. They couldn’t leave on foot because the army was there waiting for them, close enough that he could see through their eyes and watch them setting up camp around the tower. They couldn’t fly off on dragons until they were much bigger. And they had no food to sustain them while they waited for the creatures to grow. It was an unsolvable puzzle.
And yet, he couldn’t be downhearted. They’d taken a huge risk and, despite everything the Drakk’alona army had thrown at them, they’d escaped unscathed! Here they were, safe and in one piece, and they hadn’t lost so much as a single dragon scale to the enemy. It was a moment to savour.
Down below, Ruell was playing with the red dragon, the two of them chasing each other through the stream of moving balls, trying to bat them at each other as the balls moved gently out of reach. Even from half way up the tower, their squeals echoed around him, making him smile. They weren’t downhearted either! And perhaps they hadn’t noticed, but whenever they moved through the column of balls, they left a little trail of shimmering golden sparks behind them, dragon and man alike.
And here was another cause for pleasure, climbing the stairs to meet him, with her wide smile and those mischievous hazel eyes.
“Are you avoiding me?” she said, folding herself neatly to sit cross-legged beside him. “What are you doing, skulking away up here?”
“Not you I’m avoiding,” he said, answering her smile with his own. “I’ve no desire to be flattened by a half-grown dragon not looking where it’s going.”
“Yes, he’s a bit boisterous, isn’t he? But it’s a delight to see him playing like that. He’s one happy little dragon now, and Ruell’s wiped out whatever made him so angry before. I’ve never thought of these dragons of Ruell’s as children before, but that’s what they are, isn’t it? Just scaly winged children.”
“Children with sharp claws and teeth, and a liking for charred human flesh,” he said. “Never trust a dragon, that’s what I say. You never know when they might get tired of playing and bite your head off.”
“But these are all under Ruell’s control,” she said, eyes widening. “Aren’t they?”
“Are they? Or, to put it another way, is he officially a dragon caller now, or not? All of these are from the eggs that he’s been familiar with from infancy. He’s held them, talked to them, sung lullabies to them. He has a deep connection to them, and they clearly have an affection for him, but whether there’s more to it than that, who can say?”
“But the red one bowed to him! It came at him in a vicious attack and he forced it to back down. Surely that makes him a dragon caller? He commands them.”
“That one, yes, but the others?” Garrett said. “I’m not so sure. He kept telling them to go away, and they didn’t, not really. So I don’t know. This is why we have to get him to Mesanthia, somehow.”
“Do we know they’ll help him? Or will they want to enslave him to further their own ambition, like the Tre’annatha?”
“I don’t know,” he said heavily. “I don’t know anything any more. Life’s full of difficult choices and risks and not knowing whether you’re doing the right thing.”
She didn’t answer, but took his creased and scarred hand in her own soft, white one, rubbing his palm with one thumb.
“You haven’t asked,” he said.
“Asked what?”
“Why I killed her.”
“The friend who gave you the ball? You’d tell me if you wanted me to know. And I’m sure whatever happened, there was a good reason for it.”
He turned his head to look her fully in the eye, smiling. “You really are astonishing, Elestra. You know almost nothing about me, yet you’re confident someone died at my hand for good reason. You should be more careful where you place your trust.”
“I could say the same to you,” she said, eyes twinkling in the tower’s soft light. “You knew nothing at all about me, yet you took a chance onme.”
“Can’t resist a pretty face,” he said teasingly.
“And I can’t resist a strong man who knows how to use his sword… oh!” She blushed as he burst out laughing. “That came out all wrong, didn’t it? But seriously, that stuff works both ways. Besides, you told me your whole life history that day on theSundancer, remember? You’re a good man, Garrett, and that shines through in every single thing you do.”
He closed his eyes, remembering those few hours when he’d had her full attention, without Mikah around to distract her. Had he really told her so much about himself? He’d done a lot of talking, it was true, and he never remembered feeling so at ease with anyone, man or woman, before. But no, he hadn’t told her the worst of himself, and yet he wanted to. He needed her to know everything, even if it turned her against him. He couldn’t explain his reasoning, but he knew beyond any doubt that it was important that she have a true image of him.
“I didn’t tell you everything,” he said, abruptly, his voice sounding harsh
to his ears. “The woman I killed – you probably imagine that there was some sort of accident, that she died by mistake, that I just feel guilty about it now because I couldn’t save her, but that wasn’t how it was at all. I killed her deliberately, cold-bloodedly. I shot her with a crossbow, and then held her in my arms while she pleaded for her life, begging me to take the bolt out of her and let her heal. I held her until the last drop of blood had flowed out of her, and then I burnt her body. And now I dare you to tell me that I’m a good man.”
She looked up at him, white-faced, shocked. But then she squeezed his hand. “And I still say you must have had a good reason. You wouldnever kill without cause.”
He couldn’t deny it. He’d killed once or twice accidentally, and he’d killed to save his own skin, or someone else’s, and he’d killed because he was in a war, but he’d never once taken a life for arbitrary reasons – for vengeance or hatred or love or just to make a theft easier. And sometimes he’d chosen not to kill, even though the temptation had been overwhelming – Kestimar, for instance. He’d tried to kill the man once, when their feud got to the point that one or other of them was going to end up dead, and he felt strongly that he’d rather it were Kestimar. But the Gods had spared him, and Garrett had accepted their decision.
“It’s true, isn’t it?” she said, her gentle voice cutting into his reverie.
He nodded.
“So her death must have been necessary. You killed her because you had to, even though you loved her.”
Another nod. It was hard to speak when his throat was unaccountably choked up. How did Elestra understand him so well? Perhaps his face gave him away. All those years as a gambler had taught him perfect control of his expression, but he couldn’t hide his grief whenever he thought ofher. The woman he’d murdered. Drusinaar.
“I killed her to save the world,” he said. “Because she was a monster.”
Ruell’s voice cut like a knife. “A monster like the child in the egg?” he said coldly.
How had he crept up on them unnoticed? Garrett was losing his touch. Fine bodyguard he was, if he forgot his surroundings. But that was how it always was when he started remembering…
“They were the same, Ruell,” Garrett said tiredly. “Do you remember Drusinaar? She came to the Windblown Isle once, and talked to you about your eggs.”
“The dragon girl? You said she died, but… you killed her?”
“She came out of an egg too. They’re some kind of mage experiment, but it didn’t work. Drusinaar was broken. She had so much magic inside her, but she couldn’t get at it, somehow, and no one knew how to help her. And then…” He swallowed, but it had to be said. He’d always promised himself that he would tell Ruell the whole story one day, and this was as good a time as any other. “Then something happened which made her whole, and… I fell in love with her. But she had all this magic at her command, and not the slightest idea how to use it sensibly. If she’d lived and learnt to harness her power fully, she would have been a god and we’d have been her slaves, all of us. She and her kind would have ruled the earth and eventually they would have destroyed it, as the pre-catastrophe mages so nearly did. So I killed her,” he ended bleakly. Then, more strongly, “I hated having to do it, Ruell, and it was the most hideous moment in my life. There have been some pretty shitty moments, all things considered, but that was the absolute worst. And I would do it again in a heartbeat, because she was a monster, and so was the child who came out of your egg. And now go back and play with your pet and leave me alone.”
He jumped to his feet and ran up the stairs two at a time, so that the others wouldn’t see the tears cascading down his face.
~~~~~
He couldn’t say how long he sat there in the darkness, arms wrapped around his legs, face down on his knees, the tears falling unchecked. Time had no meaning in that place anyway, with its strange light and windows that showed only some non-existent empty headland. Perhaps only a few hours had passed or perhaps it was a moon. He couldn’t say and didn’t care.
He’d exhausted the worst of his grief and was half dozing when Elestra came to sit beside him.
“Here, I’ve brought you a drink,” she said, holding a flask out to him.
“Thanks, but the fountain thing is just over there.”
“This is better,” she said, smiling.
Curious now, he took the flask. “This isn’t mine,” he said, surprised. “Where did you find another one?”
The smile widened. “Shut up and drink.”
Strange how a smile and a few words could dissolve the wall of misery that held him captive. With a little shrug, he lifted the flask to his mouth – and made a gurgle of disbelief. “Wine! How the—? Did you get hold of one of the new glass balls? Or find a hidden cellar somewhere? How could I have missed that?”
She laughed in delight. “Neither of those! This came from a very secluded inn just along the coast.”
“Oh, someone sent a special delivery, did they? Knocked on the door and asked if we’d like some wine? What about the roast venison? Have you magicked up some of that, too?”
“Sadly not. But meat of some sort, definitely. You really can’t guess?”
“No, unless the army lobbed some supplies through the door.”
That brought more laughter. “Oh, come on, you can work it out, surely? What asset do we have in abundance?”
“Glass balls? And water!”
“True enough, but glass balls can’t make something out of nothing, it appears. Or out of water! That was our first thought, but sadly, we failed. What else?”
“Questions! You have an inexhaustible supply of questions, Lady.”
She blushed a little. “True, but what—? Oh, never mind, I’ll just tell you –dragons! We have twenty-five – no, twenty-eight now – of the creatures, and all of them willing to fetch and carry for us. We opened an upper door, and Ruell has been directing them, for he can see exactly what they see,so useful. We’ve got some chairs, and a table’s coming, although that’s a bit awkward for them to carry, poor things, and then bedding if he can find some blankets left out to dry somewhere. After that he will try for a pot of stew or some such.”
Garrett laughed in pure happiness. They wouldn’t starve! Food and drink and something to wrap up in at night – it was more than he’d dared to hope for just a short time ago. Now they could sit out the wait until the dragons were big enough to carry them away from this place, safe from all threats.
Ruell’s head appeared at the top of the stairs. “Blankets,” he said, shortly. “Enough for two. I’ll… um… sleep down below. Give you some privacy.” Blushing, he disappeared again.
“Sorry,” Elestra said. “He seems to think... Well, never mind. You can have this side, if you like, and I’ll sleep over on the other side. Or we could all sleep up here? Or…” She coughed, studiously not looking at him, wrapping a loose part of her wrap around her fingers. “Other arrangements could be considered. If you were so minded.”
Excitement roiled through him, leaving him shaking. He’d refused her once before, and he was sure he’d had a good reason for it, but he couldn’t for the life of him remember what it was. Gods, but he wanted her! How easy it would be to reach out to her. One touch, one caress, one kiss and she would be his, and yet… Was this just the giddiness of their narrow escape talking? It was like this after a battle, the men burning up with excitement, energy spilling out of them, waiting in boisterous lines for their turn with the women. He’d felt it then and he felt it now, that raging desire tearing through him like a summer storm. Gods, how he ached for her! And yet…
What did she want? Was this just a quick celebration fuck? I’m alive, you’re alive, let’s mark the occasion with some jollity. Or was this the pity offering? Poor Garrett, so upset about his dead lover, I’ll make him feel better. Or did she have plans for a quiet cottage somewhere after all this was over, with chickens and pigs? He realised he hadn’t the least idea, but it reminded him of why he’d
turned her down before.
“Thank you for the offer, but best not,” he said, hoping his voice was steady.
Her head shot up, eyes blazing. “Why? Just tell me why!”
He rubbed his face. How easy it would be to give in, and who knew where that would lead? To a broken heart, undoubtedly. “Because I’m too old for all this.”
“You’renot too old! You’re the perfect age for me, perfect in every way. Don’t make this about age!” She stopped and to his horror, a tear trickled down one cheek.
That one lone tear tore at his heart. Almost unthinking, he scooped her into his arms and onto his knee, rocking her gently. “Elestra – dear, sweet Elestra – I can’t do this. I can’t forget my age. Even if this works out perfectly, and we live in bliss and harmony for decades to come, there’ll be a time when I’m in my dotage and you’re still young and vibrant. I don’t want to turn you into a nursemaid, and I don’t want to watch you leave me and then live out my declining years regretting what I once had but lost.”
“Do you want to live them wondering what might have been?” she said, her voice not quite steady. “It’s always a risk, Garrett, opening your heart to someone. There are no certainties in love. No one can promiseforever, it just isn’t possible. I’m not asking you for more than you want to give, and I won’t ever hold you if you want to move on. Maybe it will be me who wants to move on. But right now you’re exactly the right man for me, and I want to try this and see where it leads us. Won’t you try it too? Won’t you take a chance on me?”
“Is this really what you want?” he whispered.
“Of course!” She lifted her face up and she was so close he could feel her breath on his cheeks. “Haven’t I been trying to get your clothes off you ever since we met?” She reached out and laid one hand on his cheek. Garrett closed his eyes and leaned into her. “You see? You do want me,” she added softly.
“How could I not?” he whispered. “How could any man resist you?”
The Dragon Caller (Brightmoon Book 9) Page 28
