He laughed at that point. “Touche. Indeed, I’d package you up and take you home with me.”
Sabrina grinned. “Well, Duncan doesn’t have to go that far, since I live in the neighborhood. He knows very well he can always come visiting when he needs cheering up.”
“That’s assuming he thinks you’ll always be available, but what if you marry and move out of the neighborhood? D’you think he’s considered that?”
“Why would he, when it’s very likely I’ll follow in my aunts’ footsteps and never marry?”
“Good God, what a waste!” he said in exaggeration, then seriously, “You don’t really think that a silly scandal like yours is would stop someone from marrying you if he really wants to marry you, do you?”
“Actually, I know it will, and you know it will, when the object of most marriages is to continue the line with heirs, and if my particular scandal is believed, then I won’t last long enough to beget heirs.”
Raphael’s snort was most definitely a snort this time. “You know very well you have no intention of ever kicking the bucket intentionally, and anyone with any sense a’tall would know it as well, when you are obviously so very full of laughter and joy of life. There isn’t a melancholic bone in your little body, m’dear.”
She gave him a wide-eyed look. “Well, no, there isn’t, but where did you get the idea that anyone has any sense—aside from the two of us, of course?”
He laughed heartily. “Gads, I suppose when you look at it that way, you’re quite right. Of course, if you were to agree to marry me—not to actually do so, mind you, but just to, well, to pretend, so to speak—what do you think Duncan’s reaction would be?”
“I think he’d be the first to congratulate me and wish me happy, if that’s what he thinks I want.”
Raphael tsked. “I disagree. I think he’ll discover some serious jealousy, if he hasn’t already figured out that’s why he can’t stand seeing me dance with you. Care to give it a try to find out?”
“You are being ridiculous again and decidedly single-minded. Friends can be jealous of friends, you know, or haven’t you ever experienced that when your best friend ignores you a bit and is seen having fun with other friends? Jealousy does not always involve love. Far from it. Envy takes many different forms.”
“Yes, yes,” he said in exasperation. “But why don’t we try it anyway? It won’t hurt your reputation a’tall, nor mine, for you to announce later that you’ve changed your mind and don’t want to marry me.”
“Well, there is the point that some other young man might take notice of me here and seriously ask me to marry him, but won’t if I’m pretending to be engaged to you. Not that I expect any such thing to happen, but if it did, I’d be losing my chance because of this silly nonsense.”
He sighed as he led her off the dance floor. “Think about it, Sabrina. You know it won’t do any harm, and you might be happily surprised by the results.”
Chapter Thirty
Think about it? Sabrina had trouble thinking about anything else during the next hour. What if Raphael was right and Duncan just hadn’t figured out yet that he was falling in love with her? That kiss he had treated her to could even support that contention. He had been embarrassed and upset about it, yet why had he kissed her if there was nothing but friendship between them?
But when rational thoughts finally intruded, she knew she wouldn’t do it, what Raphael was suggesting. It would be pure deceit just for Duncan’s benefit, and she couldn’t do that to him. Besides, it might have sounded logical, the way Raphael had put it, but anything could sound logical if twisted just right. That she might want to believe it was sheer foolishness on her part. Playing “what ifs” had never been part of her realistic nature.
And then she put the thought completely away, after her talk with Ophelia.
“Have you noticed how he’s trying to make me jealous?” Ophelia purred in her ear. “I think it’s rather silly myself, but you can’t tell a man that, nor get him to admit that’s what he’s doing.”
The remark, coming as it did from out of nowhere as Ophelia stepped up behind her, confounded Sabrina for a moment. She wasn’t usually so dense, but having just been wrestling with the subject of jealousy that had been introduced by Raphael Locke, hearing it now from an entirely different direction actually did confuse her briefly.
She wished she could have retracted her, “Who?” though, as soon as she uttered it, since her confusion did clear before Ophelia gave her the very obvious answer. And she would have preferred, greatly preferred, not to have the conversation that followed.
“Why, Duncan, of course,” Ophelia said, then in surprise, “You look surprised.”
Sabrina wasn’t, but apparently Ophelia had expected her to be, and went on as if she really had looked surprised. “Don’t tell me you thought the attention he has been giving you was because he might actually be interested in you?” She added a chuckle here. “My dear, I thought you of all people would know better.”
“I haven’t thought any such thing,” Sabrina replied, her tone more defensive than she would have liked. “Duncan and I are merely friends.”
“You might think so, but that just shows how naive you are. I assure you, it’s all a pretense on his part that he hopes I’ll notice.”
That stung, making Sabrina wonder if that wasn’t Ophelia’s intention. Sabrina might not be desirable for a wife, but she did like to think she was worthy of friendship. Yet the blond girl was implying that Duncan wouldn’t have become friends with her without this ulterior motive.
“Friendship would hardly make you jealous, Ophelia—or would it?”
“Certainly it wouldn’t,” Ophelia replied impatiently. “But he’s hoping I’ll think it’s more than that, or haven’t you got the point yet?”
“No, I guess I missed the point,” Sabrina said dryly. “I thought it was about jealousy.”
Ophelia actually blushed, but she was decidedly single-minded and got right back to stressing her point. “I was just trying to save you some unpleasant grief, my dear, in case you misunderstood the attention he’s given you. But if you were only thinking it’s friendship, then you won’t be hurt when he marries me.”
“No, of course not,” Sabrina was forced to say. Though she would have liked to add, I’ll merely pity him, she managed to restrain herself.
“Good,” Ophelia replied, and then with a thoughtful frown, “I suppose I should warn Amanda Locke as well. He’s doing the same thing with her, if you haven’t noticed. And she, at least, would naturally assume his interest is real, rather than contrived for my benefit.”
Sabrina was getting rather tired of these subtle insults of Ophelia’s, which weren’t very subtle to anyone with a modicum of intelligence. She was familiar, by now, with Ophelia’s tactics, but for the girl to blatantly use them on her, as if she were too dense or simply too trusting to realize she was being deliberately insulted . ..
“I am well aware of my ‘deficiencies,’” she said stiffly. “I am also aware that Amanda Locke doesn’t have any. With all due respect, Ophelia, Duncan’s interest in Amanda could be quite genuine.”
Ophelia laughed, a sound full of grating confidence. “Certainly it could, but it’s not.”
“You simply can’t know that for sure, Ophelia,” Sabrina pointed out.
Ophelia merely tsked and said, “You are so naive, but then you weren’t at the inn the other day to see just how much he regrets breaking our engagement. It was so obvious in his every word and action. But I’m sure he will rectify that shortly. He just has this wounded pride of his to deal with first, because of those unfortunate insults I dealt him, and nothing short of punishing me will do, before we can make up. And the silly man has decided that making me jealous will suffice. It’s not working, but as long as he thinks it is, he’ll be satisfied, I suppose.”
A lump was rising in Sabrina’s throat, making it difficult to reply, “Then you think that Duncan will ask you to marry him again?”
“I know he will. I don’t know why men feel they have to ‘get even’ when their pride is involved, but they do, and Duncan is no different. But it’s just a matter of time, Sabrina, before we’re engaged again.”
“Are you sure you aren’t the one that’s harboring false expectations?”
Sabrina couldn’t believe she said it. This was Ophelia Reid, after all, the reigning queen of the Season, the most beautiful and desirable debutante to join the marriage mart in a decade, possibly centuries. So she wasn’t surprised that Ophelia would be offended.
Her temerity got her a glare and the terse reply, “You have to experience the pursuit before you can understand the nuances of it. Now, how to explain to someone who has never experienced it? Well, one, there was the passionate kiss he gave me at the inn before he stormed out. He obviously didn’t want to reveal his feelings quite that dramatically, but simply couldn’t help himself. And he’s lucky no one witnessed it, or I could have been quite compromised and he would then have been forced to marry me. I don’t want that any more than he would, so I’ve told no one about it—except you, since you are being so obtuse I see no other recourse than to mention it.”
It was probably Sabrina’s own embarrassment that was causing her some anger, and not very familiar with that emotion, she didn’t think before saying, “You could simply spare me this lesson. I assure you, I can go on quite blissfully being ignorant of these—nuances.”
“Not at all,” Ophelia purred. “I really don’t mind educating you, my dear. There is also the fact that I am constantly catching Duncan staring at me when he thinks I don’t know it.”
“Hardly conclusive—”
“I wasn’t finished,” Ophelia all but snapped, then coughed and continued in her falsely sweet tone, “That, coupled with the kiss he all but forced on me, is really all that was necessary to ascertain his real feelings toward me. But then there is also this campaign of his to make me jealous. Now do you understand why I know he wants me back? He broke our engagement in the heat of the moment. Not that I blame him, when it was what I was trying to achieve at the time. He regrets that, but his pride won’t let him immediately rectify it, thus these silly pretenses in the meantime.”
“I would say the only pretense being enacted around here, Ophelia, is your pretense of friendship with me. Arid if anyone should be warned, it is you. Duncan has kissed me as well, but I didn’t presume it meant anything. I’ve been told he stares at me also, but I’m not silly enough to think that means anything either. His interest in Amanda Locke is probably quite genuine, and if anyone would make him a fine wife, it would be she. Now, you don’t like me, you’ve made that abundantly clear, so do spare me these ‘friendly’ chats in the future. In fact, Ophelia, just stay the hell away from me, thank you very much.”
Chapter Thirty-one
Sabrina had never in her life done anything so ... so foreign to her nature as she had that evening. It was the unfamiliar anger, still present, that had her seeking her coat and leaving Summers Glade without even telling her aunts, sending them only a curt message to be delivered by Jacobs. But it was the mortification that followed, which she felt clear to her bones, that had her running all the way home without waiting for the coach to be brought around.
She simply couldn’t believe she had said those things to Ophelia. Delivering unkindness for un-kindness was never the answer, no matter how satisfying it might be. Yes, Ophelia had deserved every word, but was that any excuse to compromise her own principles and nature?
She could have just walked away. That simple rudeness would have sufficed to get her point across, that she was fed up with Ophelia and wouldn’t tolerate any more of her spitefulness. But no, she’d had to let the anger she’d experienced take control of her, and stoop to Ophelia’s level instead.
She would prefer not to ever go back to Summers Glade, at least not as long as Ophelia was still there, but she didn’t know what excuse she could give her aunts not to. The truth was considered, then rejected. Hilary would blame herself, after all, because Ophelia’s mother was her friend. She might also feel bound to inform Lady Mary about her daughter’s horrid behavior, then would feel guilty about that as well. Sabrina could at least spare her aunt all those awful emotions by simply keeping the incident to herself.
She really wished she could ignore Ophelia’s conclusions and believe Raphael’s instead, but she couldn’t. There had been nothing exceptionally passionate about the kiss Duncan had given her, other than the violent storm that had raged about them when it occurred. His kiss had been gentle, sweet, surprising, wonderful, at least for her, but there had been no great passion involved that she’d noticed. Yet he’d kissed Ophelia passionately, even though he didn’t want to. That had been implied, that it had been forced out of him, and that spoke volumes about his true feelings.
She didn’t doubt for a minute that Ophelia’s main contention was true. He wanted her back, he was just too angry yet to admit it. How could he not? Ophelia was just too beautiful for any man not to want her for himself. Sabrina did not, however, think that he was just using her to make Ophelia jealous. Amanda, perhaps, but not her. Their friendship was genuine. It had to be. She couldn’t be that wrong about him—or her own self-worth.
And then the painful emotions arrived, with her acceptance that the man she loved, loved someone else, and someone who wasn’t even worthy of him. She had known she would experience it eventually, but this soon?
Quite naturally, the tears came next, and so many of them that she was soon running aimlessly, without really seeing where she was going. When she nearly tripped on a root, she took a moment to clear her sight and found that she’d turned herself around in a circle and was almost back at Summers Glade. Which was why the coach leaving the mansion just then was able to come across her rather quickly.
“What the devil are you doing?” she heard before Duncan jumped down from the driver’s seat and thrust her inside the coach.
There was no light inside. He’d taken the first vehicle that he’d come across that had horses already harnessed to it, the one that would have taken her and her aunts home at the end of the evening, and was kept ready for that.
So he couldn’t see her tears when he followed her inside out of the cold, and his next question sounded just as angry as the first. “What happened back there tae send you running from the house?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing? When you were so upset you couldna e’en wait for your driver?”
“I like to walk—”
“You were running!”
“It’s cold—”
“You’ll be giving me the truth, lass, and nae more excuses. I saw you talking tae Ophelia. What did she say tae you tae upset you so?”
“Duncan, I just want to go home. If you don’t want me walking, then take me home.”
He must have heard the quaver in her voice this time, now that he’d let her say more than a few words without interrupting her, because his finger came to her cheek to find the suspected tears there and then he was gathering her in his arms, almost crushing her in his own upset.
“I’m sorry, lass,” he mumbled. “You dinna have tae talk aboot it if you dinna want tae. Och, I’m such an insensitive brute.”
He wasn’t that at all, was in fact trying to make amends by wiping the tears from her eyes and cheeks with his own lips. And such a natural progression, when he began kissing her instead. She certainly didn’t object. She couldn’t imagine herself ever objecting to Duncan’s kisses, whether they were given in sympathy or friendship or ...
Passion, like anger, was an amazing emotion in how quickly it could arrive and—take over. The pitch darkness heightened the other senses, especially touch, and combined, what was felt on the surface and what was felt internally were too powerful to resist.
Sabrina didn’t even try. She knew very well what could happen, what was happening, and was in a unique position to not care. She could ignore the right or wrong of i
t because she had already decided to never marry, yet here was the man she loved offering her a small glimpse of what marriage to him could be like. Of course she wouldn’t refuse. She would accept anything he was willing to give her of himself, including these few stolen moments of passion that were her dreams come true.
There was an element of unreality, though, of doubt that something so wonderful could be real; it must be a dream instead. But a dream or otherwise, it was still not to be refused, was to be savored to the fullest extent, and Sabrina did just that.
Her hair was already in wild disarray from running, making it easy for Duncan to thread his fingers along her scalp to position her for the depth of his kisses. His tongue was teasing and bold by turns, playing with her senses, inciting her to join the play, and then as suddenly ravaging, scorching in intensity, and she met that, too, awed and thrilled by each new sensation as it arrived to tantalize her.
Breathing was becoming difficult until she realized she was too busy enjoying herself to think of anything so mundane as breathing. She kept it in mind thereafter, or tried to, though her occasional gasps suggested otherwise. It did get easier, though, when his mouth moved on to her neck, only that started a new set of sensations that had her catching her breath again in shivering delight.
Her coat was parted—she had never bothered to fasten it, merely tugged it on before bolting out the door of the mansion—as his mouth worked a bit lower. Tall as he was, though, he was having a bit of trouble bending to reach what he wanted, so she wasn’t all that surprised when he moved off the seat to kneel before her.
His kisses now followed the square neckline of her day dress, the depth very circumspect in comparison to an evening gown. This was nowhere near her breasts, yet she was thrilled beyond measure, never having been kissed on her chest before, never having been kissed much in any way before.
Her hands rested on his shoulders, moved hesitantly into his hair, rested on his shoulders again—she really wasn’t sure what to do with them, when what she would like to do was pull him closer and closer to her.
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