‘Jesus fucking Christ,’ I grumble. Jared is at the foot of my bed.
‘Easy buddy.’
‘Fuck off,’ I grumble and try to sit up again. I can’t—it’s like being a fucking invalid. Jared chuckles. ‘Can tell you’re getting better. You’re back to being a miserable bastard.’
I don’t say anything because I don’t want to prove his point. Instead, I just glare.
‘Where’s Willow?’ I want to see her now. If she were up and about, she’d be here, so she must still be laid up somewhere here. I yank the sheets from the bed, so tightly tucked in I can barely wiggle my fucking toes. I’m sick of this shit. Jared stops me though and tucks it back in.
‘Willow is good. She’s still here too. But…’
‘But?’
When he doesn’t answer, I get pissed. ‘BUT WHAT? Jared, for fuck’s sake!’
‘She’s not herself right now… she… well, her body went through a lot.’
‘If you don’t tell me what the fuck is wrong, I’m gonna get out of this fucking bed myself and find her.’
‘We don’t know. She’s healing well, but… she doesn’t remember anything.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘She doesn’t remember anything at all.’
‘Well, that’s probably a good thing—at least she won’t have fucking nightmares like Maiya and Devon.’
‘Howard, that’s not it.’
‘Well, what the fuck is it then?’ I’m yanking on the fucking sheets, and he tries to stop me but I’m having none of it this time, and as he tucks in one side I have the other side out and my legs slung over the side of the bed. I’m shuffling my arse so my feet touch the floor and he stands in my way. Again.
‘Howard, you’re not fit enough yet, stay in bed for fuck’s sake. You’re worse than a fucking kid.’
‘I’m going to see Willow and if you don’t wanna help me, then fuck off out of my way.’
‘Fuck me—wait there. I’ll get you a wheelchair.’ That’s fucking better. I wait because honestly, I’m fucked, I can barely move my own damn body to the edge of the bed, and I know I need his help. Kills me to admit it but it’s true. He comes back with a chair and a nurse twittering behind him about the dangers of moving me too soon.
‘I’m fine,’ I lie.
‘You are not fine, and you’re still attached to the drip and heart monitor, which is telling me you need to lay back down.’
I feel around for the sticky shit that is connected to my chest and pull it off. She goes into panic mode as the machine flatlines and she realises what I’ve done.
‘Honestly, in all my years of nursing—’
‘Save it, sweetheart. I’m going, like it or not. My female is here, and I need to see her.’
‘But the drip needs—’
‘Stick it up your arse,’ I tell her as I rip the cannula out of my arm. Jared wheels me out of the room and towards a lift.
‘Soon as you’ve seen her, you go right back there, and you will fucking behave yourself, you feel me?’
‘Whatever, just fucking take me to Willow.’
‘You’re the most unreasonable motherfucker on the planet, you know that?’
‘And I really don’t give a shit. What floor is she on?’
‘Five.’ I hit the button as the doors close, and we go down.
‘They should have communal areas for couples. This is bullshit.’
‘Well, write a fucking complaint.’
‘Fuck off.’
‘Shut the fuck up whining then.’ The bell dings and the door opens. Jared wheels me out, and we come to a set of doors with a buzzer and a camera on.
‘Smile for the camera.’ I look into it when a woman’s voice comes over the speaker.
‘Can I help you?’
‘Visitors for Miss Bellgrade,’ Jared answers before I can speak.
‘Stand back, please. I’ll open the doors.’ We do, and they swing open. He wheels me in, and as we pass the nurses’ station, we’re asked to sign in.
‘Family or friend?’ the nurse asks.
‘She’s mine,’ I tell her.
‘He’s her boyfriend. He was injured too,’ Jared explains when I think I did a pretty good job. He leans down to my ear. ‘You can’t go saying shit like that to a human nurse. You sound like a fucking psychopath.’
‘Well, I’ve been likened to worse.’ He pushes me down a long corridor. It seems to take forever, but eventually, he stops outside a room I know is hers because all the scents of everyone I know leads here. Jared has a look on his face, and I know he’s desperate to say something but doesn’t know how.
‘Fucking spit it out.’ He rolls his eyes at me.
‘I already told you. She doesn’t remember anything. You need to prepare yourself for that, okay?’
‘Fine, take me in.’ He manoeuvres me in backwards so he can hold the door. I hear Brody, but I can’t see around Jared until he turns me to face the bed. Willow looks better than when I last saw her, but she’s bad. She has casts on all her limbs, and her face has small bruises, which look like holes in her face.
‘They’ve just removed the cage thing from her jaw, so she’s sleeping off the anaesthetic. It shouldn’t be long though, they said, and she’ll be awake.’ I listen to him, but I don’t pay him any attention. My eyes are all over my female. Taking in every bit of her. Even with these wounds, she’s still beautiful. Her jaw looks perfectly normal now, unlike when I found her. I can actually see her perfect features now, instead of them being swollen, bloody, and bruised. Brody is still talking. I feel a sudden surge of anger bubble up. I turn my head.
‘This is all your fucking fault,’ I growl out my voice still full of grit.
‘Excuse me? How do you come to that conclusion then?’
‘You fucking took her out without adequate protection. Protection, which I assigned. You pissed all over that order and look what happened.’ I point to Willow.
‘You’re the reason they came. YOU. You killed their alpha. His dad. YOU. This is all on you!’
‘MOTHERFUCKER’ I leap out of my chair and have him by the throat, but I’m like a house cat taking on a lion. I have nothing. Nada. I’m all out of energy. He laughs, mocking me. Jared had left the room, but almost immediately he’s back when he hears me.
‘Sit the fuck down. NOW!’ he orders. ‘What in the shit is going on?’ he asks as I flop back into my wheelchair with his help. I point at Brody. I don’t even have the energy to call him out.
‘He’s throwing the blame at my door when he’s the one that killed the alpha.’
‘So what does that make me. Brody? I’m the one that gave the order!’ Brody just blinks, says fuck all. ‘This is not the time or the place to be discussing this shit, but believe me, it will be fucking discussed. When they’re home, we will have this out.’ Brody doesn’t say another fucking word. I move myself towards Willow and slide my hand in hers. I don’t know how long I stay there, but both Brody and Jared leave me to be alone with her. They wait outside. I feel myself nodding off when she squeezes my hand.
‘Brody?’ she murmurs.
‘It’s me, sweetheart. I’m here.’ I look up and watch as confusion comes across her face. And she frowns at me, pulling her hand away.
‘Who are you?’ she asks, and the bottom falls out of my world.
‘SWEETHEART. IT’S ME, Howard,’ I tell her almost desperately.
‘I’m sorry, where is my brother?’ The look on her face will haunt me forever. There is no recognition at all. My mate doesn’t have a clue who I am. What the fuck do I do with that?
‘Sweetheart. It’s okay. Your memory will improve and—’
‘BRODY?’ she yells cutting me off. He comes in with Jared, and I see the pity on Jared’s face. He tried to tell me, but I didn’t realise. Brody moves to Willow’s other side. Her face relaxes when she sees him—she feels safe with him, and fuck if that doesn’t piss me off more. He’s the one that put her at risk in the first place. He�
��s the reason she’s here. I glare at him, and if I could kill him with one look, he’d be dead ten times over. I take one last look at Willow.
‘I’ll come back tomorrow, okay?’ I ask her even though I’m scared as shit of her answer. Willow looks to Brody for reassurance. And he just looks back at her, giving nothing away.
‘Okay,’ she says. Jared pulls my wheelchair away from the bed, and the physical pain I feel is fuck all in comparison to the gaping hole I have in my chest right now. I say nothing as he wheels me down the long corridor and nothing when he pushes me in the lift. I don’t want to talk to anyone. I get back to my room, and I try to get up out of the chair and fail miserably. Jared knows me better than anyone though and lets me try again without a word. When I can’t do it the second time, he doesn’t speak, just hooks his arms under my pits, and lifts me, manoeuvring me onto the bed. I shuffle back by myself, and as I do, the nurse comes in. Twittering again about me having the nerve to leave in the first place. I can’t even be arsed to argue.
‘So, will you be going on another jolly or is that it for the day? Can I expect you to behave and stay put?’
I grunt, closing my eyes. Wishing she’d shut the fuck up and leave. ‘I’ll be back in a bit, okay?’ Jared tells me. But I don’t care. I grunt. I just want to be left alone. The nurse hooks me back up to the drip and heart monitor, then she leaves too. And I’m left with my own thoughts. Where is my phone? I have Willow as my screen saver. I scan the room and can’t see any sign of it. I’ll ask when Jared comes back. I close my eyes and let memories of Willow fill the back of my eyelids. They don’t make me feel better. I feel worse. Fuck, what if she never regains her memory, where will that leave us? Fuck, what I’d give for a bottle of whiskey right now.
‘Anything I can do?’ Jared asks from the door, just in time.
‘Get me a bottle of Jack,’ I tell him seriously. He did ask.
‘No can do,’ he says with a smile in his tone. I don’t look at him. I don’t want to see anyone smile right now.
‘Don’t ask me then, arsehole,’ I tell him turning my head away.
‘Okay, I guess you should try and get some rest anyway. I’ll be back, okay.’ I grunt in response. The door opens a while later, and Brad walks in. He looks serious for a change, and that’s worrying.
‘What’s fucking wrong now?’ I ask not giving him a chance to speak.
‘What do you mean?
‘You look fucking serious, so something’s up?’
‘Yeah, you got fucking shot and your female—’
‘Don’t fucking say it.’
‘It’ll come back, Howard’
‘You a fucking doctor now?’
‘No, I’m your fucking best friend, trying to make you feel better.’
‘Well, it’s not.’
‘You don’t say.’
I lay there, sulking, because honestly, if I lost my memory I’d sure as fuck know who she was. How can she not know who I am? We’re bonded. Brad ignores my shitty attitude and comes around the bed to sit in the chair.
‘Look,’ he starts. And I open my eyes and meet his. ‘I can’t imagine what you must be feeling right now—’
‘No, you can’t, so don’t try.’
He takes a deep inhale. ‘I think I liked it better when you were knocked the fuck out.’
‘Get me a bottle of Jack, and that can be remedied.’
‘Yeah, Jared told me you tried that one.’ He laughs seriously. ‘Howard, it will be alright. You’ll both get better, and things will work out.’
‘She doesn’t know who I am, Brad! She didn’t recognise me, her FUCKING BONDED MATE!’ I yell, getting pissed off. ‘How the fuck is that gonna be alright?’ I ask in a muted tone. He doesn’t answer. And I don’t want him to. I just want to be left alone.
‘Can you get me my phone?’ I ask. He nods and looks around the room. ‘Where is it?’
I shrug. ‘No clue.’ He checks the pockets of a bag that’s appeared with some of my stuff in it. He searches through and comes up with nothing. ‘It’s not here.’
‘Fuck’s sake.’ All I want is to look at her face.
‘Zoe and the girls want to come and see you,’ he tells me checking his own phone.
‘No.’
‘No?’
‘That’s what I said.’
‘Well, I’ll tell them then. They’d be better off staying the fuck away, anyway.’
‘You can do the same. In fact, tell them all.’
‘Right because we do that to our friends. Jesus, Howard, I get that you’re upset. I get it. I get that it’s hurting so fucking bad you don’t want to face anything, but, newsflash, buddy, you have to.’ I turn away, not wanting to listen to another word.
‘And you fucking will. I will be back every fucking day to piss you off, and when you come home, I’ll be there to do the same, and so will everyone else.’
Grumbling at his outburst, I close my eyes like if I can’t see him, I can’t hear him. It’s not long before he gets pissed off at me and leaves too. Good. That’s what I want, and I don’t care if he doesn’t come back right now. I close my eyes and listen as he gets up and leaves the room.
***
Willow
Brody stays with me until the nurse tells him he has to leave. I have a catheter, and she needs to check it. It’s quite comical watching him jump up so quickly like the chair is on fire. It’s not something your brother needs to witness. The nurse checking me over is a wolf too, and that gives me the freedom to ask questions.
‘How long am I expected to be in a cast for?’ I ask because honestly, it’s so annoying being unable to do anything for myself, and most of all, it’s so damn itchy.
‘I’d say another couple of days. You’re healing everywhere else really well, so I’m hazarding a guess that your bones will heal just as quick. But don’t hold me to that. The doctor will remove a cast and take an X-ray. If happy, then they will all be removed, and you’ll have to go through an X-ray for each limb. Your cuts and bruises are healing really nicely though. You will be back to your old self in no time.’ She cringes when she realises what she’s said. ‘I’m sorry. We can never be sure with memory loss, and if I’m honest, I’ve never come across it in our kind before.’
‘Has anyone ever seen a case like mine?’
She smiles sympathetically and shakes her head. ‘I’m afraid not, honey, you’re the first.’
‘I’ve never been first at anything before.’ I laugh, trying to make light of the situation, but she remains sympathetic, and I don’t know what to do with that. Lifting the sheets, she explains what she’s doing with the catheter, and what I should feel, and then its over, and I’m back to plastering that smile on my face as Brody comes back in. I yawn and blink my eyes.
‘Considering I’ve slept so long you would think I’d be full of energy. I’m just so exhausted,’ I tell him.
‘If you want to sleep, go ahead. I’ll just sit here quietly.’ he reassures me.
‘Brody, go home sleep in your bed. I’ll be fine. Come back when you’re refreshed, okay?’
‘Naww, I’m good here,’ he says trying to get comfy in the chair.
‘Brody, you look about as comfortable in that chair as I do right now. Please go home and rest up. I’ll have all kind of questions for you when you come back tomorrow.’
‘Okay, but only because you insist. I’ll be back first thing, okay?’
‘Sure, hey can you ask that nurse to come in on your way out?’ He nods, concerned. ‘Nothing to worry over. I’ve got a question only a female can answer.’
He holds his hands up and rolls his eyes. ‘Okay, say no more,’ he says, and I know he’s thinking about periods and women’s shit. Which makes me smile at how uncomfortable it makes him. He leaves, and I know he will be true to his word in that he will be back first thing in the morning.
‘You want something?’ the nurse asks as she pokes her head around the door.
‘I just wanted to pick your br
ain if that’s okay?’
‘Sure, fire away?’ I think that means I can ask her a question, so I get straight to the point.
‘Are you mated?’ she frowns at my question but smiles
‘I sure am.’
‘Did you bond?’
‘Uhhhuh, almost ten years now. Why do you ask, sweetness?’
I shrug my shoulders. ‘I just wanted to know if you knew, you know, when you met?’
‘Ahh I see, no I didn’t, not right away, although I knew I really liked him. It was only after we’d done the deed that I realised it wasn’t just me liking him, you know?’
‘I’m not sure I do?’
‘Well, I had dated but never felt the way I did with John. We had instant chemistry. He wouldn’t leave me alone, and I realised after we had bonded, that was because he couldn’t physically be away from me. He needed me, and I him.’
I nod while I listen. I get the full story on how they met and how he chatted her up. And she has me giggling along with her.
‘So does this have anything to do with the fact you have a males bonding scent and no memory of it?’
I sigh and nod in response. ‘It feels strange. I know I am bonded, but I didn’t know him at all when he came here. And my brother hates him. I’m not sure he’s right for me.’
‘Well, the fact you are bonded will never change. There won’t be another, so he must be some kind of right, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. But I guess it depends on what you want. He will need you beyond anything else though. He’ll need to be near you at the very least. But I’ve never known a male be turned away by his mate, so I don’t honestly know what would happen if you did. It wouldn’t be pretty for either of you though, that much I know.’
‘I just don’t know what to do.’
‘How about you take each day as it comes?’
‘I guess I will have to. I don’t even know who I am really, or what I want in life. I only remember my brother, and I’m in a different country, with a different pack, and bonded to a male I know nothing about. I feel lost, so lost.’
Fated Love (Stone Pack book 3) Page 14
