Chapter 9 – Home truths...
Blaine
My heart was in my mouth. For as far back as I could remember, Denny had never had a girlfriend. He had to be gay. He had to be...
Did that mean that when we fooled around that summer that he’d really been into me?
Fuck. Probably – just as I’d been really into him – but then I’d gone and totally ruined it all.... Or had I?
“I taught you everything I knew about kissing...”
He blinked, “Oh, yeah?” he asked with a smirk. “I’m pretty sure I told you how to use your tongue.”
I grinned. He fucking did too – I’d forgotten that, “Oh, yeah.” I nodded, “You did.”
He grinned, “Anytime you want a re-run.” He winked, and my heart almost beat out of my chest.
I nodded, “Sure.” I winked back at him but I wasn’t anywhere near as confident as he looked.
I had to know for sure suddenly. I had to ask... “Are you gay, Denny?”
He closed his eyes, took in a deep breath and nodded, “Yes,” he replied, opening his eyes and gazing at me steadily, “I am. But I don’t want that to ruin our friendship. I love you, Blaine – I always have, but I respect that you’re straight and I know nothing could ever happen between us. I just want to be your best friend. Forever.”
I swallowed. I wanted more than that. I just had no idea how to tell him. Or maybe I didn’t and it was just cabin fever. Fuck. I’d never felt more confused in my whole life... “Me too,” I forced a smile and kept my thoughts to myself. Hopefully the conversation might come up again when we were back home and we could have a proper discussion about it all...
*
I ate the scone that Denny had made me – complete with butter and strawberry jam just the way I liked it and we settled down to play one of my many PlayStation games but I just couldn’t keep my mind on it. My mind was way back in 2009 and what we did with each other in my bedroom and the lounge and anywhere else we could sneakily kiss and touch each other when we were convinced no one else could see us.
And I know we’d just said we were going to just be best friends forever – but I’d opened the can of worms now and I wanted to delve a little deeper...
“So, I’m guessing you remember that summer as well as I do then?”
He stopped playing the game and turned to me, “Can we not go there.” He murmured.
I blinked, “Why not?”
He gave me one of his looks and I felt my face begin to heat up. “Are you serious?” he asked, “Don’t you think I find it embarrassing enough that I thought I’d found my soulmate in you and all the time you were nailing me you were just dreaming of being with Saskia and planning your prom night with her?”
Oh fuck. Did he really think that? I guess it was a reasonable conclusion since I did go to prom with her almost as soon as I’d lied through my teeth about the way I felt about him... God. I was such a wanker... “It wasn’t like that.” I muttered.
He nodded, “It was, mate. And it took me a long time to come to terms with – I really thought you felt the same way I did. I was heartbroken, Blaine. It took me ages to put it behind me – please don’t make me go there again – it’s too painful.”
I nodded, “Hey, man – the last thing I’d ever want to do is hurt you. Forget I asked.”
He nodded, “Cool.” He said, “I think I’ll turn in.”
It was far too early to go to bed but I got it that he didn’t want to be around me anymore tonight. “See you tomorrow.” I said.
“Yeah,” he murmured, “Goodnight Blaine.”
Denny
Shit. Why did I have to say all that shit? He’d think I was a right pansy to be admitting that I’d been in love with him and that I was heartbroken when he dashed all of my hopes.
Oh well, I’d lived without his touch and kisses for the last eight years, I could do this...
I woke up with a bit of a start. It wasn’t that I’d heard anything – Christ, in the middle of nowhere the nights were pretty much absolute silence...
I lay there for a second with my heart pounding and wondering why I felt weird. Then I went to turn over and... Oh, my God... What sort of a fucking dream had I been having for that to happen? Because, holy shit, I’d spunked my boxer shorts. It had to be have been the conversation we’d had this afternoon... It had thrown up old memories and taken me back.
But fuck. I hadn’t done that since I was what? Thirteen? I blushed as I remembered being that age and how my feelings for my best friend had changed since we’d met at eleven and he’d just been the coolest person I’d ever met.
Well, clearly nothing had really changed in the last eight years then, despite my best efforts to keep a lid on it. I was still dreaming about Blaine – and I was still waking up with a boner for him – and this time I’d actually come in my sleep... “Shit,” I mumbled to myself as I scrambled out of my bed and headed for the bathroom. I yawned, scratching my chest as I went. I grabbed a fresh pair of boxers on the way. I was going to have to get washed up. I went to push the door open but found that it was tight shut. Fuck! The object of my very sexy and very embarrassingly wet dream was in the bathroom. “You okay?” I shouted through, feeling suddenly a little concerned about him. Well, it was four in the morning and he usually snored all fucking night...
He mumbled something back to me.
I scurried back to my bed. There was no way I wanted him to see my sticky wet boxer shorts. How was I supposed to explain that I’d been dreaming about him?
Well, obviously I wasn’t dreaming about him like that... Actually, now that I thought about it – I really had been dreaming about him like that... Fuck. That was embarrassing... He was totally off limits. I knew that. I’d accepted he wasn’t gay eight years ago...
I went back to bed and lay down and tried to make sense of the way I was feeling. Why now? Why was I still torturing myself? He’s straight. Straight Denny! Move on...
I repeated my mantra to myself for hours but in the end I had to admit a few things to myself. One. I didn’t care that he was in one of his ‘very serious’ relationships. Two. I didn’t care that I’d had an on-and-off boyfriend who’d broken up with me because he reckoned I was married to my job and paid him no attention – shoot me, it was a good enough excuse... Three. I was at my happiest when I was with him so none of what had gone before mattered to me.
All that mattered was the way I felt right now – and if I’m going to be honest – right now I was fucking horny. And I was horny for Blaine. I had no idea why I was suddenly having all these feelings for him when I’d spent the best part of the last eight years watching him bed girls left, right and centre whilst telling myself that it didn’t matter to me. That I was over my teenage crush and that he was just my friend...
Maybe it was the solitude. I’d never been with him for so long, alone, before. We did out shifts together and then went back home. I wasn’t overwhelmed with his presence. But being with him twenty-four seven for so long... well, my guard was down. I was totally hooked... Telling him the way I felt about him, though – well, he’d totally freak, wouldn’t he...? He hadn’t freaked this afternoon when I’d admitted that I’d thought he was my soulmate when we were teenagers... would he really be so surprised to realise that I still felt exactly the same way about him?
I sighed and rubbed my face. Of course he’d totally freak. And then he’d find it intolerable to work with me – and he’d ask for a transfer and then I’d lose him altogether. Fuck. There was no way I could tell him the truth about my real feelings. I just couldn’t...
Chapter 10 – Facing the truth...
Blaine
No, no, no! Holy hell. What the fuck was wrong with me? I’d honestly thought I’d long gotten over my obsession with my best friend. And I didn’t think Denny was sexy anymore... I didn’t.
Fuck. I did. Of course I did... I was totally drooling over him at breakfast. I was just thankful that he hadn’t noticed. His nipples flashed in
to my mind and I closed my eyes. Fuck. I was totally screwed. Everything about him attracted my attention.
Opening my eyes again, I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror opposite the shower. Shit. I totally did...
How the hell had I allowed that to happen? What had made him sexy again? Was I just going stir-crazy being stuck here day after day waiting for something to happen? Or had I always found him sexy and had just dated girls, having sex with them while imagining I was making love to someone else?
Well, whatever I’d been thinking about, I’d never expected this to happen.
I looked down as my cock erupted. I was wanking myself off in the shower at thoughts of my working partner at four in the morning. Now that was fucking weird...
And then, almost as if he somehow knew what I was thinking about, he went and knocked on the fucking door. What the hell was he doing up at this time in the morning?
Suddenly a thought occurred to me – was he feeling the same sexual tension that I was? Was it actually nothing to worry about? Just being trapped here together away from civilization? Could we maybe just do each other a favour? And then, just like when we were sixteen, never speak of it again... Oh, my God... what the hell was I thinking? I seriously needed to get back to civilization – and to women... Think about boobs for fuck’s sake...
You don’t really like boobs – admit it, you want Denny’s cock inside you, you want to taste it, you want to play with it. You want him. You want Denny. You always have...
Ignoring the voice in my head that I really couldn’t work out if it was my reckless voice or my voice of reason, I cracked the door open and stepped outside. I really should just go back to my room and sleep. Tomorrow was going to be another long, boring day... I hesitated. Maybe I should just go and check on Denny – just in case he’d needed the bathroom because he was sick or something...
With my heart in my mouth, I knocked on his bedroom door, “Denny?”
“Yeah?”
I took a deep breath and poked my head around the door. He was in bed with his duvet up to his chin. “You okay, man?”
He looked at me with those enormous grey eyes, “Sure.” He squeaked.
I looked at him in concern, “Are you sure?” I asked.
He sighed and shook his head, “No.” he said softly, making my heart stutter in my chest.
I stepped closer to the bed, “Why? What’s up?” I asked.
“Bad dream...”
Aww, how fucking cute was that? I stood at the foot of his bed, all thoughts of worrying about having a wank in the shower whilst I thought about him sucking me off temporarily forgotten about, “Need to talk it out?”
He looked at me in silence, his eyes on me while he chewed his bottom lip. Well, this was awkward. I was stood at the foot of his bed with a semi going on in my boxer shorts. He’d notice in a minute and then my secret would be out there... “Well, I guess I’ll just head to bed, then – I’ll, uh, I’ll see you in the morning, man.”
I turned back and had gotten halfway across the landing to my own bedroom when I stopped in my tracks, heart thumping like a good ‘un and a boner to be proud of as he finally spoke up, “No, please don’t go, Blaine – I really need to talk to you about something.”
I turned back.
*
Readjusting myself a little, I pushed his door back open. He’d moved and was sat up in his bed with his pillows behind him. My eyes couldn’t help travelling over his pecs and over those fabulous nipple rings that I couldn’t get out of my mind no matter what I did. I’d known that he had his nipples pierced since they’d first been done because we worked out together at the gym but I’d never been quite so obsessed with getting a good look at them before... or maybe it was just that I never really allowed myself to look at him properly because I subconsciously knew what it did to me. I looked now though and swallowed hard as my mouth went suddenly very, very dry as my eyes roamed over his body, “Hi.” I croaked, “What’s up?”
He shook his head and closed his eyes, “You’re gonna hate me. Please, don’t hate me...”
My heart started to thump. He must be feeling the same as me – why else would he be thinking I’d hate him? “I swear to you, Denny – I could never hate you – quite the opposite in fact.” Fuck, I might as well go and buy the rings now...
He didn’t seem to have noticed that slight faux pas. He looked at me, his eyes clouded with worry, “I’m uh... that is to say...”
“You still fancy me, right?” Please tell me I haven’t read this all wrong...
He nodded, his eyes wide and looking as if he’d prefer to be anywhere else than trapped in this cabin with me. “I promise I haven’t fancied you all the time since...” he trailed off and then he looked me in the eye again, “It must be just because we’re here...”
Well, thanks a bunch... I couldn’t help feeling a little affronted about that, since I’d had my epiphany... Still. It was the conclusion I’d come to, too, “Yeah, I guess – I’ve been feeling exactly the same, dude – reckon it’s just cabin fever or something – why don’t we just, you know,” do what we did that summer when we were sixteen, “wank off together or something?”
He brightened momentarily but then bit his lip again. “Are you sure you want to do that?” he asked.
I nodded. “Yeah, why not?” I said, “It totally makes sense. We trust each other, don’t we?” And that way I don’t have to worry about what it really means to me.
He nodded, “Yeah, man,” he said, “I trust you with my life. That’s a brilliant idea.” He threw the covers off and patted the bed next to where he was sat.
I didn’t even have to think about it. A warm bed, my favourite guy with a massive boner going on and both of us feeling horny? Bring it on – we’d face the consequences tomorrow...
I settled back against the pillows and pulling my cock out of my shorts, I started to stroke myself.
I heard Denny take in a sharp breath when I got started and I glanced sideways at him wondering if he was freaked out or turned on.
From the look on his face I would say he was definitely turned on and so was I. I glanced down at his crotch. He definitely had a hard-on and yet he hadn’t made a move.
“Are you gonna join me?” I asked breathlessly.
He nodded, “Yeah, sure.” He said but he still didn’t make a move.
I stopped, “Dude, I feel awkward being the entertainment – please – do it too.”
He chuckled and grabbed a hold of his cock. I watched in fascination as he worked himself. Oh, my God – that was fucking horny...
He breathing started to quicken and his cheeks had turned pink as he got closer to orgasm.
I was getting close too and I realised that all I could hear in the room was the sound of our breathing and the sound of us both working our lubricated cocks. It was very sexy.
Denny came first. He grunted as streams of white come spattered up his stomach and his chest.
I stared at it and suddenly I was overwhelmed with my own orgasm. I gasped as I came harder than I’d come in ages. “Ohh, fuck.” I panted, “That was fucking awesome.”
He nodded, “We really should get cleaned up – we didn’t think this through, mate.”
I chuckled, “We didn’t.” I said. Sliding my boxers down my legs I wiped myself up and then passed them to Denny, “here,” I said, “Use them and then we’ll get a shower each.”
He shook his head, “Fuck that.” He said, “We can shower in the morning – are you sleeping here?”
I nodded, “Sure.” I agreed, “If that’s okay?”
He smiled, “It’s fine.” He said.
Chapter 11 – Morning after...
Blaine
The next morning dawned and I was a little worried that things might be awkward between us but Denny was absolutely fine. He didn’t mention it at all but he acted exactly the same way he always had with me.
By lunchtime it was driving me insane, “Are we even going to talk about
what happened last night?”
He blinked, “Uh?”
“Well, you know... The whole wanking with each other...?”
He shrugged, “What’s to talk about – we had fun together didn’t we?” He looked me in the eye, completely unembarrassed.
I nodded, relief flooding through me that he wasn’t freaking out over it. “I guess.”
He grinned, “Then, let’s not worry about it.”
Okay...
But as much as he’d said not to worry about it – I couldn’t help worrying. Was it going to happen again? Did he want me the way I wanted him? Was this going to end up with us lovers? Part of me hoped that it was, even if it was just one night of frustration and eight years since we’d last been intimate with each other. I guess it was difficult to switch off your feelings even if you had been made to think it was wrong...
But could we stay friends after this was all over? Or would it have the opposite effect and make it impossible for us to still be mates?
Denny
I was shitting bricks all day after we’d gotten intimate, that Blaine would freak out. After all, it was him that had freaked out when we were teens, albeit after his dad had found us together in the lounge – not our finest hour – and fuck, I’d freaked out too, to the point of having a panic attack... but it had been fantastic up to that point – before his dad had come home from work early one day and found us...
But I couldn’t think about that now. All I could think about was last night – the pair of us wanking off with each other right there. And I’d been dying to offer to give him a hand... I would next time if it ever happened again.
I didn’t want to push him on it. Hell, I’d already confessed that I was gay – but he hadn’t made any comment about his own sexuality and I didn’t want him thinking that I was pushing him into something that he could turn around and say was against his will – not that I thought he would but you never knew...
Stake Out... (Studs & Steel Book 5) Page 5
