I reach over and roughly pull the mold out of her mouth.
“Ouch, Gray! That fucking hurt!” she says, reaching up to rub her jaw.
“Yeah, well it’s not as bad as what’s coming your way and you know it,” I mumble unhappily. I hold up the mold and look it over. “That’s good enough. I’m going home; I’ll be back tomorrow, and I’ll have your mouth guard.”
Before she can object or even ask me what the problem is, I march into the living room and grab my bag, heading for the front door.
“Later, kid,” I say to her softly without so much as backwards glance.
Aiden doesn’t understand, but she will soon enough.
Chapter Eleven
“I really hate my life sometimes. It hurts just to be alive and breathing, but I don’t want to end things just yet either. I know it may sound corny, and I know that you probably think I’m nuts at this point, I just kind of feel like shit has to get better, you know? It can’t very well get any fucking worse.”
I reposition its legs on my shoulder, making sure that it has some comfort while I feed it. This isn’t a pleasant time for either of us but the only hole that I can get some nutrients into is its rectum, so I have enemas that I fill with as much good stuff as I can, liquefy it as much as possible, and squeeze the bag empty into her. It may sound strange, but the ass is one of the places on the body where there are so many veins that anything placed into it—alcohol, drugs, nutrients, etc., get absorbed much quicker than being consumed the normal way.
The bag is almost empty, but while I have its attention, I decide to keep talking.
“Would you hurt yourself if you were me? I know—no one really knows how I feel except for myself, but do you think I’m worth the time? To be alive, I mean. Or am I just wasting space on this stupid fucking planet?”
It grunts in response.
Always a grunt, never words.
And yet I find myself still longing to converse with it. I sigh and give the bag one last final squeeze before I ease it out and place the legs back down.
“Hope that helps,” I tell it with a kind smile as I toss the bag into the metal barrel near the table.
It nods and spreads its legs gently so that I can fix the restraints I use to hold it back in place. Its such a good pet and I hope that its owner will love it as much as I do.
I do love my pieces.
Even though if not in a way that most people feel love, but I’m proud of each of them and I want them to thrive in their new homes.
They know if they’re ever mistreated that they only need to come back and I’ll take care of them. It hasn’t happened yet, though, but I like to give them the option.
“I’ll be back tomorrow night, okay?” I say to it, running a hand over its hair. “It’ll be over soon, and you’ll be out of here. Off to your new home—I promise.”
It tries to smile but the stitching is so tightly done that it can’t. I appreciate the gesture though, and in return, I place a gentle kiss on its forehead.
“Sleep tight,” I say to it softly as I replace the blanket and then pull my gloves off. I toss them into the trash can near the door and stretch my arms over my head before I walk out of the room, flipping the light switch on my way.
As I make my way down the stairs, I find myself wondering about Julie again. It’s been a couple of days and the smell of decay hasn’t reached my nose yet, so whatever Penn did with her, he must have done it well.
But what was it?
I could do the reasonable thing and ask him, but I’ll more than likely stumble over my words or snap at him like I’m apparently prone to do when he’s around. Either way, I’d end up looking like an asshole and that’s not exactly how to woo someone.
I sit down on the third to last step and look at the spot on the floor where Julie once laid no more than a few days ago. She wasn’t dragged, because the blood pooled into a dried puddle. Maybe he lifted her, but if he did, why wasn’t there any blood on his clothes? Is he a fucking magician? The great Houdini reincarnated?
I let out a sigh and lean back against the stairs, cracking my neck and closing my eyes.
I never used to be like this. I used to have so much confidence that I could suck the energy out of a room just by stepping into it. I don’t know where I lost it and I want nothing more than to find it again, which is why I spend almost all of my time with Aiden.
Even though she’s nothing I would be interested in romantically, she helps me be a human being. I could spend my time just cashing in on pieces left and right and never having to worry about making another one for ten years, but she makes me go out and coexist in a world that doesn’t see me hiding in plain sight.
And I love her for it.
One of the many reasons Aiden will always hold a special place in my heart, and one of the many reasons I know I have to protect her from monsters like me.
She knows what I am, and she doesn’t care. She tells me she knows that I have to work to survive and to keep my head on straight and she’s even offered to help me from time to time, but I always decline.
I can’t put her in that kind of danger.
There’s always a new kid on the block that wants to be bigger and better than me, and if they saw how close we really are, they would hurt her to get to me.
That’s when the last shred of humanity I’m hanging onto would be clipped off. Like the wings of a fallen angel, hurtling down to Earth, at the speed of sin, and crashing into the goddamn ground, ready to rise a bigger monster than anything ever before.
And I refuse to let that happen.
A chuckle escapes me as I hear a knock on the door. It’s Aiden—I can tell by the way she’s knocking, even though its a little softer and not as fast as usual, but I just chalk it up to her being tired.
I get up and walk out of the stairwell, swinging the door closed behind me, and jog over toward the door. One thing I love about her is her curiosity, and I know she’s probably here because she doesn’t want to wait to see her mouth guard. Unfortunately for her, it’s still setting, but I don’t mind having her over for some mindless chatter while it works.
“Were your ears burning?” I tease as I pull the door open.
But it’s not Aiden on the other side of the door and the reason the knock wasn’t quiet her makes sense now.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, closing the door slightly and staring curiously at my unannounced visitor.
Part Two
Folie d'un
Chapter Twelve
“Sorry,” Penn says with a laugh. “I was trying to get a hold of Aiden and this is the only place I could think of to look for her.”
“Maybe you should have tried her place?” I reply evenly.
Penn smiles and rubs the back of his neck, glancing down the hallway. “So, she’s not here then?”
“No.”
“Okay,” he turns to walk away, but hesitates, cutting his eyes back toward me. “Um, can I come in for a sec? There’s something I want to talk to you about.”
I stare at him, trying to see if his words can be found in his eyes, but I see nothing, so I relent and nod.
“Yeah. Sure, man,” I say, taking a step back and opening the door the rest of the way.
“So, what’s up?” I ask Penn once he’s standing inside of my home.
He grins at me like a mischievous child. I can’t tell what he’s up to and he knows it, which makes his grin widen just a little bit more.
“Did she tell you that she’s going to fight again?” he asks, crossing his arms loosely over his chest.
“Yeah.”
“How do you feel about that, Gray?” he presses, tilting his head slightly to the right.
“How the fuck do you think that makes me feel?”
Deep breath. Stop being an asshole.
“Sorry.”
“Yeah, I know,” Penn replies, rolling his eyes. “Listen, I’m not here to piss you off, I’m here because I want you to know you’re not the
only person that cares about her getting hurt. She’s a good kid, and I want what’s best for her too.”
“Mm,” I grumble in response.
The silence between us is putting me on edge, and Penn seems to take notice because he drops his arms to his side and glances around the room.
“Did you find her yet?” he asks curiously.
“Huh?”
“The hooker. Did you find her?”
“No. Wait; is she in the building?” I inquire, following his gaze.
“I think you would have had to spray the place down by now to get rid of the smell,” he replies dryly.
“So, where is she?” I ask, glancing back at him.
“Hm.”
He uses his long forefinger to tap his chin and then suddenly snaps his fingers, causing me to jump.
“Let’s talk about something else,” he suggests. It’s obvious that Penn is enjoying this little game of his but there’s only so much I can take before I throttle the fucking answer out of him.
I let out a loud sigh and run a hand irritably over my face before I stare at him. Penn doesn’t seem to be too bothered by my obvious annoyance.
“I actually didn’t come looking for Aiden,” he says sheepishly.
“Then why are you here?” I ask a little louder than I mean to.
“I’m—”
“Sorry, yeah, I know,” he cuts me off. “So, what would you say if I told you that Aiden told me something that might piss you off.”
“Like what?” I ask him gruffly.
“Like how you feel about me,” he answers quietly, the grin returning to his lips.
I’m going to fucking kill her. She doesn’t need to worry about Max Boothe, because I’m going to snap her fucking neck.
“Yeah, well,” I say with a shrug.
“Well, maybe I’m interested,” he replies softly.
“What?”
I look Penn straight in his eyes and they soften as he takes a small step toward me. “I’ve never been with a guy before, you know? But I’m pretty sure I could get down with you. I see the way you care about Aiden, and I see the way you watch me when you think I’m not looking. The thing is, I look at you the same way too and only Aiden seems to have noticed,” he confesses nervously.
My body trembles slightly and I do my best to control it.
This can’t be real.
There’s no way in fucking hell this is anything other than my mind playing a trick on me.
Right?
“I’m kinda hoping you haven’t changed your mind since Saturday otherwise I’m going to feel like a fucking idiot,” he says with a slight tremor to his laugh.
“No, I haven’t,” I reply quickly. “But I’m not used to getting the things I want either.”
“And you want me?” he asks with a smile.
“Yes,” I whisper softly.
“Thank God,” he says, leaning his head back and letting out a relieved sigh. “Okay, so, show me where you sleep.”
I lower my eyes to my feet and shuffle them before I finally pull up the courage I thought was lacking and start walking down the hallway. Penn follows closely behind me—I know it because I can smell him now even though I couldn’t before.
It’s intoxicating and maddening at the same time. He smells like cinnamon with just a hint of cranberry and for some reason it makes the world come into focus.
For the first time in a long time, I can see shit again clearly.
When we enter my room, I shuffle to the inside wall and lean against it, bending one of my legs and watch Penn.
He walks in and looks around curiously. I’m not entirely sure what he was expecting it to look like, but it’s very simple. A large platform bed sits in the middle of the room against the wall. A few factory size windows line the wall directly across from me and the dressers that hold my clothes for the most part. Everything else is in the closet. I don’t like clutter. I like order, so I keep things as simple as I can.
Penn spins in a slow circle, his long legs twirling around before he drops down on the edge of my bed and glances at me. He leans back on his hands and begins to chew the inside of his mouth as he watches me for a moment before motioning for me to join him with a jerk of his head.
I let out a sigh and walk over to Penn, taking the empty spot to his right and lean forward, my arms crossed over my knees. I never realized just how much I liked his long legs until now. For some reason they’re making me smile and he chuckles when he notices.
Penn sits up and places a hand on my leg, sliding his hand down to take mine in his as he leans over and places his chin on my shoulder.
“Your move,” he whispers into my ear.
I’d be lying if I didn’t say just the feel of his hands, the knowing that he wants to be with me, gives me an instant hard-on.
I turn my face slowly toward his, our lips just inches from each others and I wait.
I want him to kiss me first because that’s how I’ll know this is real and not just some fucked up fantasy in my head.
“Okay, my move then,” he says with a low chuckle, moving his face forward.
In this moment, the world can explode around us and I wouldn’t even fucking notice. The rivers could run dry and the heavens could rain fire, but nothing would be able to steal this away from me.
When Penn pulls away, I let out a deep breath and he chuckles again.
“I’m sure we can do better than that,” he says, getting to his feet and holding a hand down toward me.
I take it and let him pull me up from the bed, trembling like someone who’s feeling the touch of another for the first time, and that’s when I realize something.
I’m nervous.
I never thought that when this moment finally came, that I would be nervous. I thought we would just fall into each other’s arms and that nature would take its course, but it’s nothing like I imagined it would be.
To have Penn this close to me—to have felt his lips against mine, the hunger that he kissed me with, it’s completely destroyed every fantasy I’ve ever had about being with him.
His hands feel so goddamn soft as he slides them underneath my shirt and uses his fingertips to pull my shirt up over my head. Penn tosses my shirt to the side and leans down to kiss my neck, my bare chest, then gently suckles one of my nipples. Using his teeth, he grabs hold of it, before using the tip of his tongue to circle it just once.
“You’re shaking,” he whispers, looking up into my eyes. “Why?”
“You make me nervous,” I reply with a low chuckle.
Penn’s lips curve into the grin that drives me fucking wild as he takes a step back, his hands firmly on my hips as he looks deeper into my eyes. “I thought this was what you wanted?”
“It is,” I tell him a little too quickly. “From the first time I laid eyes on you, it’s all I’ve wanted.”
“Then relax,” Penn says gently as he tilts my head up and kisses my neck again. “I’m not going to hurt you—unless you’re into that kind of thing, that is.”
I chuckle and when I feel his lips curve into a smile again against my skin, I shudder. It’s an involuntary tremble, but the way it feels is indescribable.
“Or do you want to be fucked gently?” he inquires, his lips trailing down my neck to my chest again, but this time, he doesn’t stop there. He continues his way down my stomach and drops to his knees, his hands on the waist of my pants. I look down at him and see him grinning up at me. His eyes are wider than normal, bluer than anything I’ve seen before, and as he runs a hand up and down the apparent bulge in my sweatpants, I swear to God it takes everything in me not to cum right here and now.
“Tell me what you want,” he says, gripping me tightly in the palm of his hand. “And I’ll give it to you.”
“I want you to make me beg you to fuck me. I want you to make my body ache for you and I want you to use me when you finally feel that you’ve prolonged it enough. I want you to be gentle and I want you to hurt me. I want everyth
ing you can give me and more,” I confess between shuddering breaths. Penn sits back on the heel of his feet as he reaches up and pulls the drawstring on my sweatpants, then lets them fall down to my ankles.
“Commando,” he remarks with a laugh, putting his hands to his mouth. “I’m not entirely sure I can get all of that into my mouth, but I’ll be damned if I don’t try.”
Before I have a chance to say anything, Penn wraps those beautiful, soft, full lips around the head of my cock and licks the tip. His hand is firm on my shaft and he slowly begins to stroke the length while swirling his tongue around the only part he has in his mouth.
“Oh my God,” I breathe, leaning my head back and placing my hands firmly over my face. It feels so much better than anything Little Julie was capable of and considering that she used to get paid to fuck, that’s saying something about the way he uses that mouth of his.
Penn slowly moves his lips to meet his hand and takes in a little more than half of my dick. It’s more than enough for me to feel his touch but knowing that he wants to take as much of me down his throat as he can, is already making me grit my teeth.
I place a hand on the top of his head and ball up a fistful of hair. Penn’s lips curve on my dick and I know he’s smiling. I think it’s because he’s finally getting me to react the way he would have expected and if that’s what he wants, then I’ll give it to him.
“A little more, please,” I beg him, thrusting my hips forward.
He pulls back and spits on my cock, looking up at me with those eyes of his, his hand slathering me with is saliva, as he jerks his head to the right to move his hair out of his face.
“I thought you wanted me to use you,” he remarks, arching his eyebrows salaciously.
“I do,” I reply, my chest heaving. He’s already got me aching to feel his mouth around my cock again, so he seems to know how to play this game better than I thought.
“Then shut up,” he remarks with a sly grin. “Let me take care of you, Gray. You deserve it.”
Death Blooms Page 5
