by Merel Pierce
He began to purr instinctively, unable to resist the urge to soothe her even as he began to brood thoughtfully. “If he intends to make his move, it seems prudent to act before he has the chance,” he murmured, more to himself than her. “I hadn’t decided whether or not I would even involve his son, so if you are correct in your assessment of the timeline, it may be possible to eliminate him before this attempted assassination ever comes to pass.”
“What? No!” She practically climbed up his front, tiny fists knotting in the fabric of his shirt as she jerked insistently in search of his attention. “You can’t do that, ok? I… I need you to just wait it out. I have feelings about these kinds of things. Women’s intuition or something. You need to just… Wait. Ok?”
The male’s hands came up, cupping the sides of her face with steady pressure as he met her gaze. “December, I need you to calm down.” He commanded evenly, the rumble of his purr still coaxing at her frazzled nerves. “If we are to discuss this, I need you to be capable of doing so rationally. Right now, you aren’t.”
She should have been insulted. Instead, her shoulders slumped, and tears welled up until they were spilling over onto her cheeks before she even realized she was crying. Seeing the look of determination he now wore, she knew he’d already made up his mind. Rational discussion wouldn’t change anything. It was then that she realized playing fair was no longer an option. If she wanted to sway him, she’d have to take a risk and be willing to play dirty.
“I’m scared,” she whimpered, pressing herself closer to him as she tried to play on his instinctive need to protect and comfort “I need you here with me, safe. I… I can’t bear the idea of something happening to you.” She pushed her head beneath his chin, burying her face against his throat. “We just found each other. You can’t leave me now.” It was a plea, laced with all the female desperation she could force herself to produce. Against her, the male sighed.
Strong arms folded around her frame, pulling her up snug against this chest as he let his chin rest atop her head. “Everything will be fine, December. I know you worry, but there is no need. Knowing what he intends to do gives me the upper hand, taking him down should be easier now. I will not have to be away from you long.”
“You don’t understand!” She sobbed, allowing all her frustration and worry wrap around their bond and suffocate him with her anxiety. “That’s not enough!”
“My love, I am afraid it must be. It is my duty to protect what is mine. Unless you can provide me with a date or time at which he means to act, I cannot take the risk on waiting and allow this threat to go unchecked.” He squeezed her briefly, and she felt something inside her fracture painfully as she realized what she had to do. “Surely you can understand, sweet one? I must do this, for us.” She took an unsteady breath, biting her lip as she tried to gather the courage to answer him.
“Nikolai, I… I’m pregnant.”
Chapter 34
“Iknow.”
December stiffened, drawing back to look up at him in disbelief. He allowed his hands to slip off her shoulders, settling instead at her waist. In hindsight, she supposed it was foolish to think she’d successfully hidden the pregnancy from him. After all, the other alphas had been able to scent the change almost immediately. But her mate hadn’t said a word about it in all these weeks they’d been together. Now, it was her turn to be suspicious.
“How?”
The question was posed cautiously, careful attention given to keeping her tone even and devoid of the wariness his response had inspired. The expression on his face was difficult to read, and it only worsened the tumultuous nature of her thoughts.
“I’ve scented it since shortly after you came back to me,” the male confessed. “But I’ve known since the day I took you from the warehouse.” When she looked doubtful, her mate’s purr merely grew louder. “The doctor informed me while you were still under anesthesia.”
Instead of assuaging her concerns, this information birthed a gut-wrenching sense of dread and humiliation. He’d known she was pregnant with his child from the very beginning. Her mind immediately leapt to the worst possible conclusions.
All along, he’d been conditioning her, knowing that she carried the heir he’d so openly admitted to wanting. Had it all been a lie? Had his attentions and declarations of love been designed solely to keep the incubator for his child docile and oblivious? She couldn’t help thinking it was possible, despite how her anxious heart insisted it wasn’t true. Their bond echoed the sentiment, assuring her that his love was real and hadn’t been an illusion.
“She never told me.”
“I advised her against mentioning that we had discussed it. I feared you may be unnecessarily distressed by the idea that she had disclosed to me before speaking with you about the pregnancy.”
A nervous chill stole over her as she began to understand what she thought the male had left unsaid. “She wanted me to abort it.” December murmured uneasily. “She practically insisted.” She turned red rimmed eyes up, meeting a gaze that only confirmed the terrifying thought she had started to form about the doctor’s reasoning. “Why did she tell you?”
Wisely, the male didn’t attempt to soothe her in any way other than the continued rumble of his purr. “She was concerned the knowledge that you carried your rapist’s child would be too much for you to handle in your weakened state. She suggested that I consent to aborting the pregnancy and leave you none the wiser.” December felt her face contort with horror at hearing it aloud, and the idea of what had almost transpired made her sick. She clutched her stomach, moaning miserably as she got to her feet and made several steps towards the bathroom. “The look on your face is precisely the reason I was unwilling to make that choice. After everything I’d cost you, I couldn’t take that choice away from you as well.”
December stopped, choking on a sob as she forced herself to face him. Too angry and upset to focus, she could only stare down at him in dumbfounded silence as the tears continued to leak down her cheeks. She was caught off guard by the pain she saw in his expression, an emotion that went well beyond any empathy he might have had for her own distress. These feelings were his own. She wasn’t the only one who’d lost something since her kidnapping. A subtle tendril of insight wove its way into the chaotic pattern of her thoughts, and with it came clarity. “My rapist’s child,” she repeated softly.
He didn’t know the baby was his. Not consciously, anyway. This male, this grand alpha. He thought she had chosen to keep the child of his enemy, and he’d made no protest against it. He could have terminated the child he was told belonged to another, opting to replace it with one of his own.
As a man who obviously longed for young, it was difficult to understand how he could have resisted the urge to rectify the wrong he no doubt felt had been leveled against him. Yet, when the opportunity presented itself, he had done no such thing. Judging by the sadness that echoed through their link, he’d suffered the misery of that knowledge alone since the very first day.
“You never said anything to me about it,” she accused, sniffling as she dabbed her tears on the back of one sleeve. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I expected you would tell me when you were ready.”
It was such a simple answer, and so very telling. December took a deep breath, forcing herself to administer one final test as her resolve began to crumble. “So, what happens now? What happens when the baby comes?”
The male blew out a ragged sigh, his shoulders slumping as he steepled his hands. “If you wish to keep the child, then we will do so,” It was clear the statement was difficult for him to make, but he seemed sincere. “If you do not, then together we will find a worthy home where the child will be loved and well-tended.”
“Really?”
He dipped his head solemnly, and December felt a sudden flush of shame flood her with unwelcome warmth. She had misjudged him terribly, this man. In all their time together, she’d never considered that he might have been suf
fering through his own personal hell while trying to comfort her. She’d been far too wrapped up in her own misery to notice or care.
Knowing it was finally time, she returned to the bed and sat down beside him. “I know we never talked about it, but that last day in the warehouse? I had given up. I knew it wouldn’t be long. I was just in so much pain and so tired, you know?”
“I am sorry, December.”
“I’m not telling you so you’ll be sorry,” she chastised gently. “I had a dream then, too.”
The male turned his palm up in offering, and December gratefully deposited her hand. He wove his fingers between her own, squeezing gently in reassurance as he waited for her to continue.
“They knew I was pregnant. The man named Dante was fighting with Ivan about the condition I was in.” She slid a sidelong glance at the alpha beside her, uncertain of how he’d respond to the rest. “He didn’t agree with how they were treating me, and when Ivan said there wasn’t anything they could do, he got angry.” She took a deep breath, steeling herself against the possibility that he would react poorly to what she was about to say. “He said.. ‘She’s pregnant with Petrovski’s child, wouldn’t it be better to keep her alive and use that as leverage?’”
The alpha beside her stiffened, and she fidgeted nervously in response. “Once I realized I was pregnant, everything changed. I knew I couldn’t let them kill me, not when there was this tiny innocent life in me that I was supposed to protect.” She forced herself to look at him, swallowing hard against the flutter of fear she felt at the sight of those tell-tale signs of growing anger in the man at her side. “I didn’t kill Riktor and those other men to save myself. I did it for the baby. Your baby.”
For several moments there was silence, then the male released her hand and slowly rose to his feet in a series of tightly reined movements. He walked away from her, stalking far across the room where he began to pace. December drew her knees up to her chest, folding her arms around herself protectively as she watched the angry man move back and forth across the space. The more he paced, the angrier he seemed to become. His movements were jerky and abrupt, his jaw working in a way that suggested he was grinding his teeth.
“Nikolai, I’m sorry.”
He stopped, coming to face her as she spoke. The exaggerated rise and fall of his chest only served to emphasize the barely controlled outrage she saw in his expression.
“Why didn’t you tell me?!” He shouted angrily. She winced, shrinking under the booming baritone of his voice, able to do little else than gesture at him in response.
“This is why!”
Tears rose again when the male resumed his pacing, his agitation polluting the air between them so heavily that she began to shake under the influence of the scent. “I tried to be patient, I tried to be understanding,” he seethed. “Have I not treated you well? Have I not been a good mate? What have I done that would make you wish to punish me this way?”
December whimpered, dropping her chin to her knees, wishing she could be smaller. “I wasn’t trying to punish you!”
Nikolai gave a bark of humorless laughter. “Really? Why else would you have concealed this from me?”
“I...” December paused, a sense of self-righteous indignation rising unexpectedly like bile in her throat. “I was angry, ok!” She yelled back. “At them for hurting me, at you for marking me, at myself for being so stupid!” Suddenly feeling quite brave, she unfolded herself from her place on the bed and moved towards him, pointing an accusing finger at his broad chest. “You took everything from me! Did you expect me to just forget suddenly because you weren’t being a prick?”
“I expected you to behave like an adult and communicate with me! Not act like petulant, spiteful child!”
Her mouth fell open in disbelief, the wind leaving her sails abruptly. “Wow.” She turned away, folding her arms over her chest as she approached the window and gazed blankly out into the city scape beyond. She tried not to let the sting of his words affect her too deeply, knowing he was upset, but it was difficult not to. “I never wanted any of this, you know.”
Behind her, the male heaved a great sigh. “I don’t suppose either of us expected our lives to take the turns they have.” His tone remained sharp, but disappointment had replaced the heat of his anger. “Unfortunately, this revelation only strengthens my resolve. Bulgras must be handled immediately.”
December shook her head unhappily, lips pursing as more tears stung her eyes and a strangled sob tightened her throat. She tensed when his hands closed over her shoulders, the stiffness of her muscles offering minimal resistance as he turned her to face him. “I must do this, December, for us, and for this child. I know you may not understand, but it is for the best.” She refused to look up, only shaking her head again in unspoken protest. The alpha framed the underside of her jaw with one hand, tilting her head upwards.
“Look at me, little wolf,” he coaxed, his tone softening minutely with the command. As always, she begrudgingly complied. “Is the idea of life with me really so awful a fate to consider?” He asked, a knit brow only emphasizing the wounded expression he wore. The resulting pang of guilt she felt had her shoulders sinking in defeat. “I thought things had changed for us.”
“They have,” she muttered dolefully. “I just didn’t know how to tell you.”
“I am disappointed, December. I will not lie. But having never been through what you suffered, I cannot pretend to understand or determine what I might have done in your position. I am sorry for shouting.” Uncertain what to make of his shift in attitude, December curled her hands around his wrists, pleading silently.
“I don’t want to lose you.”
He allowed his hand to drift upward, cupping her cheek beneath his palm with surprising gentleness. “This morning when you confessed your feelings, I realized how truly blessed a man I am.” The alpha offered her a strained smile. “Not only do I have a strong, beautiful mate who I adore, she has just told me that she will gift me with a child.” He dipped his head, pressing a kiss to her forehead before drawing back to look down on her once more. “I assure you, I am no fool. Realizing how lucky I am, I do not mean to squander or neglect the treasures I have been given. No force on heaven or earth will tear me away from my family, December. I swear it.”
She wanted to insist that he heed her warning and take the threat against him seriously, but the reverence with which he said the word ‘family’ distracted her. December’s heart fluttered with a giddy sense of excitement she couldn’t even begin to explain, wreaking havoc on her ability to focus. She’d never been part of a family, never had one of her own. Hearing him refer to her and the unborn child she carried as family now had her feeling a helplessly feminine sense of adoration for the man before her. Later, she’d blame her momentary lapse of judgement on the cursed omega’s instincts he’d awakened.
“You promise you’ll be careful?”
He dipped his head. “On my honor, as a man. As your mate. I will take additional precautions to make certain Bulgras’ plan does not reach fruition.” He bent forward, tipping her chin up higher to kiss her briefly. He disengaged himself then, gesturing for her to wait as he moved across the room towards the office door. She frowned as she watched him code the door, confusion bubbling up to pollute the jubilant crush of emotions now swirling around in her head.
As the door rolled back, she stiffened, shifting nervously from foot to foot as he stepped through the now open frame and threatened to disappear inside. He lifted one arm, motioning someone towards him that she couldn’t see from her current position.
A gruff looking older alpha appeared, passing by her mate on his silent command and entering the bedroom. She watched the familiar man warily as he moved inward, giving the space only a cursory once over before glancing back over his shoulder. Nikolai followed, coding the door behind them and shutting out the other occupants of the office.
The male returned to the window where she stood, folding her in against his
side with an arm around her shoulders. “You remember Donovan? He was the first on scene at the warehouse, and he stayed with you in the hospital when I saw to Sergei.” The older man dipped his head to her, and December mimicked the gesture uncomfortably.
“Sure, of course.”
“I trust Donovan implicitly, as did my father before me. He has been with us for a very long time.” He sent her a meaningful glance before turning his attention to the man before them. “I need you to look into our men. I have reason to believe that someone is being blackmailed to make a move against me. I suspect family may be the bargaining chip Bulgras has chosen to use to force compliance.”
When the older man raised a questioning eyebrow, Nikolai shrugged. “I know we thoroughly vetted our employees after the hit on the station, but I believe we should extend our scope. Before, we only investigated those with families within the limits of this country. Go further this time, check the status of all living relatives, no matter their location. Perhaps Bulgras has a longer reach than we first assumed.”
“All due respect, Nik,” the older man began cautiously. “We’ve been monitoring communications, there haven’t been any changes to indicate something like this might have happened. If we’ve missed this, someone needs a good kick in the ass. What intel do you have?”
“Call it a hunch, if you must. Just take care of it. It is now your top priority, involve no one else. Understood?” The older man shot December a suspicious look, which he quickly abandoned when a low growl of warning rumbled up from her mate.
“Understood.”
“Good.” Once more he moved away, coding the bedroom door to allow the other man’s exit. “Keep me updated. Thank you, Donovan.” The older alpha gave him a two-finger salute before disappearing through the portal without another word.
Unconvinced, but unwilling to risk being overheard, December waited to speak until the door had closed. “What about him? Who will check into his family?” Her mate smiled easily, as if he’d been anticipating her question.
