“He’s going for the bucket!” I shouted.
“Not this time!” Freddie charged across the lawn and up the porch.
Just as Tommy was reaching down to get some ammo, Freddie toe-punted the bucket as hard as he could.
Golf balls flew everywhere.
“What are you doing?” Tommy shouted, charging toward Freddie. “First, Erica breaks my window. Now you’re making a m—”
And he stepped on a golf ball and flipped into the air.
He hit the porch with a thump!
Freddie looked back at me laughing—
—then he stepped on one too and—
I hissed some air through my teeth.
Freddie’s thump was even louder.
“My hip!” Freddie yelled. He shouted a bunch more after that but it was garbled and … obscene.
I picked my way over to the porch, so I could get a better look at both the men rolling around on its floor.
“So … Tommy,” I said. “We brought coffee and muffins.” I jerked a thumb back at the boat. “Do you think we could talk now?”
Tommy just groaned.
“Cool.” I looked over at the other mass on the floor. “Freddie? You okay?”
He rolled over to face me, hand clutching his back. “I’ve missed this so much.”
Chapter Thirty-one
“There are more muffins if anyone wants them.”
Ten minutes later we were all sitting on Tommy’s porch drinking coffee and eating muffins. He had some pretty rough lawn chairs leftover from … the eighties maybe? They did the job though.
“Nah, I’m good,” Freddie said.
Tommy just stared at me a moment then looked away.
We didn’t say anything for a good long while. Just drank coffee and ate. Finally Freddie said, “Tommy, dude, don’t take this the wrong way, but … your place is a mess.”
He exhaled roughly. “Whatever.”
“No … no whatever,” Freddie went on. “It’s bad. Like your lawn is a cry for help.”
Tommy balled up the tinfoil his muffin had been wrapped in and tossed it at Freddie. “Shut up, man.”
“Look, I know you don’t want to hear this from us,” I said, getting ready to run if he made any sudden movements. “But … I think maybe it’s time for you to pull up. Dickie, he wouldn’t want you living like this.”
He didn’t throw anything at me, just said, “What the hell do you know about what Dickie would want?”
“Good point.” I nodded. “Fair enough.”
“Why are you guys here anyway?” he asked, looking out to the water. “I told you everything I know the other day, Erica.”
“You didn’t tell her who gave you that black eye,” Freddie said, looking at him over his cup.
Tommy shook his head. “I told the cops. I don’t have to tell you anything.”
“Come on, man,” I said. “We’re just trying to help Candace.”
He shook his head. “You know what’s funny?” Tommy asked, not looking very funny at all. “Candace was the only person who kept talking to me after everybody found out what we did. She barely knew me, but … whatever. This town sucks.”
“Well,” Freddie said, “in fairness, you were kind of a douchebag to the town, so now you’re even.”
I shot Freddie a look. I mean, he was right, but we needed to focus on the task at hand. “Tommy, help us help Candace.”
He took another rough breath. “Fine. You know what? It makes no difference to me. Sheriff Bigly can suck it. It was Lyssa’s boyfriend. He punched me.”
“When?”
“After I was with … after the gazebo, I went home.” He stopped to take a sip of coffee. Then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Walked the whole way. I was kind of wasted. Then right when I’m about to go inside, this frickin’ kid with spiky hair comes out of nowhere screaming about me scaring his girlfriend. He had followed me, I guess. Like stalked me all the way home. I don’t know what he saw or what she had said to him, but he was nuts. Like he was on something.” He shook his head. “At first, I tried to tell him that his girlfriend was the one who had come on to me, but the guy just kept going on and on about her being an angel. I couldn’t … I didn’t want to burst the kid’s bubble, so I let him hit me.” Tommy shrugged. “He left after that.”
Now I didn’t know what Lyssa’s exact time of death was, but it was hard to imagine her just waiting by herself at the gazebo for upward of forty minutes for her boyfriend to follow Tommy home, confront him, and then come back.
“There,” Tommy said, tossing his paper cup on the lawn. “Now you know everything. So you can be on your way.”
Freddie groaned and pushed himself to his feet. “Yeah, we got stuff to do, but…” He looked around the yard again. “Do you need help cleaning this stuff up?”
Tommy frowned at him like he was crazy.
“I’m thinking Sunday.” Freddie looked at me. “That work for you?”
“Um … sure?”
“Sean will be in town. I know he’ll want to help.”
“Yeah, the retreat will be over by then,” I said. “I can definitely help. My mom would probably come, but I’m not sure if—”
“Why would you do that?” Tommy asked, still looking angry. “I hate you guys.”
“Yeah, but you’re bringing everybody’s property values down,” Freddie said. “Besides, Erica’s right, it’s time for you to pull up.”
Tommy didn’t say anything just looked out at the water.
“Okay, Sunday,” Freddie said, getting to his feet. “And try not to throw any more crap on it before then.”
I followed Freddie down the lawn toward the boat. “That was really sweet of you.” It really was. I mean, yeah, we had never been close with Tommy. Quite the opposite actually. But it didn’t seem right to just watch a neighbor flail and not throw him a rope. “I should have thought of it.”
“It’s okay,” Freddie said happily. “You’re not me. And, I mean, Sean thought he liked me before—wait, you’re not all mad that I volunteered you for something, like Candace’s wedding, without asking you first?”
“Not this time.”
He resumed walking. “That’s because you have wedding issues.”
I snatched a golf ball off the ground and whipped it at Freddie. Hit him right in the thigh.
“Ow!” he said, rubbing the spot. “You have violence issues too.”
Chapter Thirty-two
“Hey Mom!” I called out, waving a hand in the air. “Can I talk to you a second?”
After Tommy’s place, Freddie and I decided to head back to the Dawg for lunch to go over everything. And there was a lot to go over. Our lunch ended up turning into an all-afternoon meeting. We were making lots of headway on the wedding, but, as had often been the case, the investigation had hit another standstill. So from what Tommy had told us, we did know for sure that Lyssa’s boyfriend, Justin, was in town the night of the murder, but that was all we knew. And it seemed that Sheriff Bigly wasn’t faring much better. The fact that the sheriff’s department still hadn’t arrested anyone had the town on edge. Otter Lake citizen after Otter Lake citizen came up to our table at the Dawg expressing concern. And some of that concern was taking on a bit of a hysterical edge. Mrs. White had found a dead garter snake on her doorstep just this morning. While she was fairly certain her cat had left it there as a present, she couldn’t rule out the possibility that it was a threat of some sort.
All of our excitement from the morning had gone by the time we left the Dawg. Maybe we were just tired, but it also felt like we were failing Candace … and Lyssa.
We also weren’t totally in the clear for the wedding either. I still hadn’t actually asked my mother if we could use the retreat as the location. I was pretty sure she’d be okay with it, but it was presumptuous of me. Freddie really liked the idea of having the wedding at the retreat, but you could tell he was mad he didn’t think of it first. Kind of like I was upset that I di
dn’t look into who had found Lyssa. We worked better as a team.
Freddie had come back with me to the retreat and was now mingling with the other guests. He wasn’t at all concerned about running into anyone who had seen our campfire fiasco. Then again, I guess he was the one being chased.
I watched my mother make her way through the crowd. It looked like they were just about to get another campfire under way.
“Where have you been, darling?” my mother asked. “I heard you leave late last night.”
“Sorry about that,” I said, rubbing my eyes. It had been a very long day. “I needed to … Freddie and I made up.”
She clutched her hands together. “That’s wonderful.”
“Yeah, it is,” I said with a smile. “Um … I need to talk to you about something.” I nodded and scratched my brow. It had all seemed like such a good idea to offer the retreat to Candace last night, but maybe I should have asked my mother first. I mean, the retreat was teeming with people, and she had never been a traditional-marriage type of person, and well … it was her retreat.
“Mom,” I said, squinting at her in the sun. “I, um, kind of did something last night that involved you.”
My mother’s eyes widened. “What it is?”
“I kind of told Candace she could have the wedding here.” I pointed to the ground. “At the retreat.”
She didn’t say anything for a moment, but then she flung her arms around me.
I smiled even though my face was covered with hair. That was pretty much the reaction I thought I would get.
“That’s a wonderful idea!” my mom said, leaning back to look at me. “I mean why not? I’m already performing the ceremony. Why didn’t we think of this sooner?”
“Wait,” I said, stopping to spit some of my mother’s hair out my mouth. “You’re doing what now?”
“The ceremony.” She rocked me back and forth in her arms, which was not pleasant on my sleep-deprived brain. “Didn’t Freddie tell you?”
“No.”
“Oh, maybe he thought you already knew.”
“You’re doing the ceremony. But … I thought you weren’t a big fan of traditional marriage?”
My mother pushed me back to look at me. “What are you talking about?”
“You know, you always used to say it was society’s way of enslaving women?”
“What?” She swatted my hand. “I did not.”
“Sure you did.”
“When?”
“I don’t know when. I was a kid.”
My mother chewed her lip. “Hmm, that must have been during one of those phases where I was experimenting with making my own homeopathic remedies, because I don’t remember that at all. It was a strange time. I love weddings! I’ve officiated enough of them.”
I was suddenly rapidly blinking.
“Here at the retreat.” She put a hand to her chest. “For a while there I was ranked New Hampshire’s number one choice of marriage officials for atheists, agnostics, and the LGBTQ community. I love love in all its forms.”
I was still blinking.
“I was even in a magazine. Freddie didn’t tell you any of this?”
“No.”
A look came over her face. “Oh well, he knows how uncomfortable you are with—”
“Why haven’t I seen you”—I flung my hand around—“officiate any marriages at the retreat?”
“Well, there just isn’t the demand there used to be, now that gay marriage is legal throughout the country, and I haven’t really tried to drum up more business, because I’m so busy with the retreats, and, well, I know how much weddings bother you.”
“Weddings don’t bother me. Who told you weddings bother me? Why does everybody keep thinking weddings bother me?”
My mother sighed. “Okay, maybe they don’t bother you. You’re just not a wedding person.”
For some reason, I didn’t like the way that sounded when it came out of her mouth. “Okay, well, good. I’m glad that’s settled.”
“Oh! But I’m going to need you to do one small favor for me. We were hoping you’d show up.”
I took a step back and waved my hands in front of me. “Nope. You already said yes. No takebacks.”
She took a step toward me. “From both you and Freddie.”
“I can’t speak for Fred—”
“To make up for how you two behaved at the last campfire.”
I felt my shoulders drop in defeat. “You just had to go there.”
She put her arm around my shoulder. “Come on, we’re just about to get started.”
My mother led me over to the fire. I waved a hand for Freddie to join us.
“Erica, Freddie, welcome,” Guru Zaki said. “You are just in time.”
We smiled and nodded at everyone as we made our way to the only free log seat by the fire. This was the second week of the retreat, so at least most of the original participants who had seen our campfire dance had left, but I recognized just enough who had stayed on for another week to feel pretty ridiculous.
“Tonight we have a very important exercise,” Zaki said. “You will be assigned a partner, and your partner will have a question provided to them by us that they will in turn ask you.”
My mother leaned to my ear and whispered, “We don’t want friends teaming up. You and Freddie can help us split up some pairs. Zaki and I were going to do it, but it’s better if it’s not someone who’s actually running the workshop.”
“Now, we won’t be asking you the question,” Zaki said, making the group titter, “but rather it is meant to be a personal question that will help guide you toward all the answers you seek.”
My mother walked toward him. “We’re hoping the experience—”
Freddie slapped my arm.
What? I mouthed.
“We’re?” he whispered. “That is too cute. It’s like they’re already married.”
I frowned.
“And your new stepdad is kind of hot.”
“Shut it.”
Freddie pinned his lips together, but I could so see the smile in his eyes.
“Now,” my mother went on, “as mentioned, we’ve already picked your partners for you—most of you already know who that is—because we felt it might make it easier to share some of your more vulnerable secrets with an empathetic stranger.”
“Wait,” Freddie said. “Does that mean we can’t be partners?”
“My mom said—”
“Yoo-hoo! Freddie!”
His panicked eyes flashed over to the voice. “Old Yeller is still here?”
Now, it was my turn to smile. “I told you a couple of last week’s guests opted to stay another week.”
“But I already have a bit of tinnitus in my ear from talking to her last week.”
Old Yeller was still waving.
“Off you go,” I said. “Don’t leave her waiting.”
Freddie sighed and got to his feet. “If her question isn’t Have you ever been diagnosed with hearing problems? then I am going to have a real problem with this exercise.” He ambled away.
Suddenly Zaki appeared in front of me holding a stack of envelopes. “I am glad that you have come, Erica. I am afraid that some of our earlier encounters have been…”
“Messed up?”
He laughed. “You are funny.”
Glad someone thought so. “I’m sorry for how Freddie and I behaved the other night,” I said superfast, before adding, “Is one of those envelopes for me?” Huh, apologizing wasn’t so bad if you said it superquickly then changed the subject. I needed to keep that in mind for next time.
He sorted through the stack, than passed me an envelope with my name on it. “Do not open it yet,” he said with his perpetual smile. “Give it to your partner. They will read it to you.”
“Who is my partner?”
“Mary. She’s sitting over by the picnic table.” I looked over to where he was pointing. Oh, it was Eeyore. I didn’t know she was still here. Okay, well, that w
as fine, I could do sad. It was better than being partnered with the woman with hypochondriac tendencies. But then again, I think she had gone home. All the nature was trying to kill her. The doctor had left too. Couldn’t take all her questions. I guess that’s what you get for going around telling everyone you’re a doctor.
I stepped over the picnic table bench to sit opposite Eeyore, I mean Mary. She looked like she wanted to do this exercise even less than I did. She met my eye, but didn’t smile. Didn’t do anything. Oh wow, and if I wasn’t mistaken she was still wearing the same T-shirt and khakis. Maybe she didn’t know we had laundry facilities. Or maybe Freddie was right. She was too sad for love.
“Do you want to go first?” I asked. “Or do you want me to?”
She made the barest of shrugs.
“Right,” I said with a sharp inhale. “Well, I guess I’ll go first. Here’s my envelope.”
She opened the flap and looked at the card inside. A flicker of interest—or was it confusion?—crossed her face.
“What does it say?”
She cleared her throat. “It doesn’t say anything.” She took the paper out and turned it around for me to see. “It’s blank.”
Chapter Thirty-three
“Blank?” I whipped my head around to find Zaki, but he was chatting with my mother by the fire. “That’s weird.”
She nodded.
“Oh … my mother didn’t know I was coming.” Of course, that made sense. But why go to all the trouble of giving me a blank envelope? I drummed my fingers on the table. “Huh. Okay. Well, maybe we should read your question.”
Mary shrugged in a halfhearted way and passed me her envelope. I ripped it open and pulled out the card. “Okay, yours says, Why are you so sad?” I blinked before looking up at her. “Wow. They really didn’t mess around with yours, did they?” She was probably wishing she had gotten the blank one right about now.
“You know,” I said, throwing the envelope on the table. “I get that I’m Summer’s daughter and I should probably be toeing the company line, but if you don’t want to answer…”
“No, I think maybe I should talk about it,” she said, nodding slightly.
Down the Aisle with Murder Page 17
