Eventually, I took pity on him and handed him a tissue.
“Did you at least go to the doctor?” I asked as he blew his nose.
He nodded. “Yes. I did and you were right.” He looked up at me, his eyes still bright with tears. “I have otosclerosis.”
My hand flew to my mouth and I gasped. Everything shifted. Before he’d said that, my hurt feelings were front and center. I’d been the victim of a bully once again, and despite the pain, that was familiar and even comfortable territory. But now, everything that had happened between us that night faded into the background. Yes, he’d said some heinous things, but no one went through life without saying things they didn’t mean. The hurt hadn’t completely gone away, but it would eventually. Time would heal this particular wound, but it wouldn’t help Hudson.
“Oh my God. How bad is it? What are you going to do?”
He wiped his nose, smearing some of the face paint, then tossed the tissue in the trash. “I’m getting hearing aids. I have an appointment with the audiologist tomorrow. We’re trying to be optimistic. It’s possible that the hearing aids will work well enough for me to get my game back where it used to be. But the doctor said there’s no stopping what’s happening in my ears. Whether it’ll progress slowly or quickly, there’s no way to know. We just have to wait and see.”
I went to sit next to him on the bed, close enough so that our thighs were touching. “Have you told your family?”
He nodded. “My dad took it surprisingly well. I mean, first he ripped me a new one for not addressing the problem sooner, but yeah. I’m still standing.” He gave me a half smile.
“And the Dragons? Do they know?”
“Not yet. I kind of want to wait until I test out the hearing aids.”
I shook my head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. They deserve to know what’s going on.”
“But what if they decide to drop me?”
“Then we’ll deal with it. Other teams might want to pick you up. You were chosen in the first round, after all, and that counts for a lot. I asked around.”
He looked at me as if I’d sprouted another head. “Who did you—? Wait a second. You said ‘we.’ You said, ‘we’ll deal with it.’”
“Yes, I did.”
“Does that mean you forgive me?”
Biting my lip, I nodded and a split second later we were in each other’s arms. Relief such as I’d never experienced before swept over me in a giant wave. He was holding me so tightly, I could barely breathe. I kissed him hard and suddenly all I wanted was to feel him inside me.
He seemed to be of the same mind. We got naked as quickly as we could and while he rolled on a condom, I made sure the door was locked. Moments later, he was on top of me, his hips wedged between my legs, his cock at my entrance.
He groaned as he pushed himself inside me and I struggled not to cry out. It felt indescribably good. He went at me with an urgency that demanded a response which I couldn’t have held back if I tried. I lifted my hips to meet his hard thrusts and the sensations coalesced into a climax sooner than I’d have thought possible. There had been almost no build-up. It just came out of nowhere.
I muffled my scream in his neck as the waves of pleasure swamped me. Hudson gave one last thrust, grinding himself against me as, shuddering, he came too. I wrapped my legs around him, not wanting the moment to end, not wanting to let him go. He was murmuring over and over, “I love you. I love you,” and I’m not even sure he was aware he was doing it.
A few minutes later we were snuggled together in my bed. I could hear music playing somewhere and we’d turned the lights off except for the string of fairy lights that decorated my window.
“So,” I said, reaching out to touch the purple blotch on his face, “I think I know what this is, but why don’t you tell me anyway?”
He blinked, touched his face then examined his fingers for residue. “I forgot I had this on.”
“You did a pretty good job replicating it,” I said.
“I had to do it from memory. I don’t have any pictures.”
“I’ll send you one.” I reached across him and got my phone from the desk and airdropped him the photo I’d posted on Facebook.
“What’s this?” he asked.
I told him about Michaela’s “coming out” post and how I’d followed her lead.
“I don’t know how to describe what happened after that. The next day there were hundreds of responses. Hundreds. All from people I’d never met before but who acted like I was a long-lost member of the family. I’ve never felt so much love and support before from total strangers. And they all had stories just like mine. They’ve all lived through so many of the same experiences I had.”
“Indi, that’s incredible,” he said. “It’s also a weird coincidence, because that’s kind of why I decided to paint my face.” He turned to face me. “Remember when we had that fight at your parents’ house and you told me I would never understand what you went through because I have a perfect face?”
“I never said you had a perfect face,” I said with a smile, “but yes, I remember.”
“Well, it occurred to me that the only way to really understand is to try walking around with a birthmark of my own. It’s the only way to get a taste of what you went through.”
A warmth suffused my heart as he explained that he wanted to wear this painted birthmark, 24/7, for an entire week.
“Obviously, it won’t be nearly as intense because I’ll be able to wash my birthmark off afterward, but I don’t know. It’s better than nothing.”
I framed his “perfect” face in my hands and kissed him soundly. “It’s so much better than nothing,” I said, my heart in my throat. “It means everything to me that you want to do this. Everything.”
39
Hudson
Indi couldn’t have been more thrilled with the idea of me sporting a fake birthmark, but honestly, I would have worn it for a year if it meant she’d take me back. When she forgave me, the vise that seemed to have been gripping my heart finally eased off and I felt like I could finally take a real breath. And the sex had been unreal.
Even though it had been hurried and frantic, it had surpassed any physical pleasure I’d ever experienced, mainly because it wasn’t just physical. We loved each other and when I slid inside her last night, it had been fucking transcendent. In that moment, every one-night stand I’d ever had seemed like a farce, like I’d been going through the motions. I realized why they called it making love. Love made all the difference.
The next morning, we hammered out some details about the birthmark project I hadn’t thought about, like what I was going to say to people if they asked me what was on my face. She got a tube of red paint so I could mix a hue that was closer to the actual color of a port-wine stain. The purple that I had gotten was like Barney the Dinosaur purple. She also gave me official permission to include AJ in on everything.
The next day, I stood in front of the mirror and painted the birthmark on, using a photo of Indi as reference. It took me a while, but the end result was startling and pretty realistic. Even AJ was impressed.
Deke was not.
I ventured out to get coffee at the Green Bean before class and was aware of a lot of darting glances and downcast eyes. I just acted like I usually did, like I didn’t have a big wine-colored blotch on almost half my face. It was no big deal and I felt like, except for the inevitable shit I’d get from my teammates, this week wouldn’t be that bad. But by the end of the day, I was so irritated that I felt like taking things out on a punching bag.
In every single class, as I took my customary seat in the back, my classmates gave me double takes. Granted, they were used to seeing me without the “birthmark,” so it was understandable that they were confused and curious. My professors’ eyes kept coming back to me as they lectured, but no one actually asked me about it. They just whispered and gave me weird looks. It got to be really annoying.
Later that day, because Indi h
ad given her permission, I told the team exactly what was going on. I thought it would be easy, but I ended up sounding a little ridiculous. Some of the guys even snickered.
“Pipe down, dickheads,” Brammy said.
“So let me get this straight,” Lex said, “your girlfriend has a birthmark on her face.”
“Correct,” I confirmed.
“And people give her shit about it.”
“Yes.”
“So you’re painting your face like this for a week in a gesture of solidarity?”
“Exactly.” Thank God, someone understood.
“It’s like when someone gets cancer and you shave your head too,” AJ said.
“Sounds kind of sickening, if you ask me,” Birdy said, but Birdy was probably the most immature guy on the team and I sometimes wondered if he even liked girls yet.
After the week was over, as I told Indi everything that had happened to me, she started to cry. Because I never know what to do for someone who’s crying except hand them a Kleenex, I just kept going.
“I mean, as the days wore on, it seemed like people were going out of their way to avoid me so they wouldn’t have to deal with the discomfort of trying not to look at my birthmark. Once in the grocery store, someone turned the corner, got one look at my face, and backed away as if they’d made a mistake and didn’t want any cereal after all. Jesus, I felt like a pariah.”
She was nodding as the tears continued to slide down her cheeks.
“All I kept thinking was, ‘just make it ’til Tuesday, dude,’ because I wanted it to be over, but the shitty thing is, it’s never over for you. You don’t have a choice.”
“But you did have a choice,” she said fiercely. “You chose to do this and I’ll never forget this as long as I live.”
Then she hugged me for a really long time—like longer than the Briscoe Thanksgiving group hug—but it wasn’t awkward at all because that hug cemented a bond between us that felt good and strong and true.
40
Indi
I woke up to find Hudson under the covers kissing me softly and coaxingly between my legs.
“Mmmm,” I murmured, caressing his head as he teased my clit with his tongue.
Even though it felt heavenly, I opened one eye to check the time.
“Hudson, we don’t have time for this. I have class in fifteen minutes.”
We were at his place, which meant a commute of five minutes. That left ten to shower, brush my teeth and get dressed.
He made his way up my body and popped out from beneath the covers. He was on top of me which meant there was no way I was leaving unless he got off.
“We do have time. That’s why they call them quickies.”
I rolled my eyes, but didn’t object and before I knew it, he was sheathed in a condom and entering me with a low groan. His cock felt so good as he buried it to the hilt inside me and then pulled back out only to push himself back in, over and over.
“Indi, you feel so good.”
The roughness of his voice excited me and I rocked against him as he moved with increasingly hard thrusts. I couldn’t help myself; I looked at the clock again.
Unfortunately, Hudson noticed and pulled out.
“What the…!” I exclaimed.
Without a word, he dove back under the covers and went at me with his mouth again. I gasped as he wrapped an arm around to hold me immobile while he drove me to a quick, shuddering climax. Before I’d even come back down to earth, he’d shoved his cock back inside me. His guttural grunts as he slammed his body against mine propelled me toward another orgasm that broke over me just as he stiffened and came in a hot rush.
I allowed myself a few moments of dwindling bliss before shoving at his shoulder. It was like trying to move a boulder.
“Hudson, come on. Get up.”
He lifted his head and grinned at me. “I told you we had time.”
“That remains to be seen,” I said as he finally moved off and let me scramble out of bed.
“You can take a girl out of the classroom…” he said then yelped as, laughing, I swatted his bare ass.
We showered, dressed and left his apartment in record time. As he drove us to school, I mused on how he seemed to have regained his confidence. I’d never seen him this eager and relaxed before a game. He was almost cocky.
“Don’t take your eyes off me tonight,” he said as we pulled into the parking lot closest to my first class, “because I’m going to kick ass.”
Hudson was going to wear his hearing aids during the game tonight for the first time. Following orders, he’d been using them in increasingly loud environments, most recently during practice. He’d complained about the adjustments he was having to make to his game and how, in a way, he’d had to learn how to listen again. But finally, it was time to put the tiny devices to the real test, the only test that mattered.
“I finally feel like my old self, Indi, like I’m in control.”
“I’m so excited. I can’t wait.”
“Me either.” He flashed me that prescription strength smile. “Because tonight, you’re finally going to see what I can do on the ice.”
As far as most of the people in the arena were concerned, this was an ordinary hockey game—the Burlington Bulls against the Northeastern Huskies. Nothing particularly important was at stake. We were still three months away from the regionals. But for those of us who knew and loved Hudson—including his parents—tonight’s game was critical.
I hoped I wouldn’t run into them. It was a big arena. There would be four thousand people here tonight. But of course, as Ruby and I were walking toward our seats, I saw them walking toward us.
“Shit,” I said under my breath.
“What’s going on?” Ruby asked.
“Hudson’s parents, straight ahead.”
“You mean Daddy Cock Waffle?” she asked.
“In the flesh,” I said as I put on a smile.
“Indi, darling,” Marlene said, hugging me. “I was hoping we’d see you.” She looked very put together in her black jeans, houndstooth poncho and white scarf.
After introducing Ruby, I slid a cool glance toward his dad, who actually looked uncomfortable. “And how are you, Mr. Forte?”
“I’ll be better after I get something off my chest. And call me Dom. I owe you an apology, a big one,” he said, looking me straight in the eye. “I did you a disservice the last time I saw you. I was way out of line and I said some things I regret.”
“Thank you, Dom. I appreciate that.”
As opposed to the last time he’d apologized to me, at the dinner table on Thanksgiving, this time he seemed sincere.
“I want you to let me know if there’s anything I can do to make it up to you. Anything. I mean it.”
“How about dinner after the game?” I asked, deciding if Hudson and I were going to have a future together, I needed to try to get along with his dad.
He grinned and I suddenly saw a startling resemblance between him and his son.
“Done!” he exclaimed.
“Oh my God, it’d D-Day Forte!”
Heads turned and several starry-eyed hockey fans began to walk toward us.
“We’ll play a game of ‘You’re Full of Shit: Hockey Edition.’ You’ll love it,” he said, winking at me as the fans descended.
Ruby and I had center-ice seats with a one-eighty view of the playing surface. As usual, the excitement was palpable, and the air was filled with the aromas of hot dogs, popcorn and the excited chatter of Burlington hockey fans.
Hudson needn’t have told me to keep my eyes on him. I couldn’t help myself. Even when he was on the bench, I loved seeing him in his element. Most of the time he was all business, focused on the job he had to do on the ice. But every once in a while, he’d smile at something a teammate said and I would end up smiling too.
On the ice, he was precision, focus and skill in motion. Every move he made seemed calculated. His passes were connecting. His shots on goal were dec
isive and it was thrilling to watch him win board battles, steal pucks, and, of course, score goals.
I cheered when he scored the first goal of the game, twelve minutes into the period. It was a beautiful wrist shot that went right above the goalie’s left shoulder.
When he scored again in the second period, the puck had come from AJ and Hudson did this little deflection thing with his stick blade and it caromed into the net.
Then, best of all, he scored one more time at the end of the game. As the clock counted down, the Huskies pulled their goalie so they could have an extra man on the ice. Whenever a team did that, the action was especially fierce. Tonight, Northeastern needed to get one more goal to tie the game which would throw the game into overtime. But our boys weren’t going to let that happen.
I was on the edge of my seat, like everyone else in the arena. The other team was furiously trying to score and ours were just as furiously trying to stop them. Hudson was out there when the puck squirted out from a scrum in the corner. Quick as lightning, he scooped it up, took two strides and slapped it toward the other side of the rink.
Where the net stood empty.
I held my breath as the puck sailed down the ice. The crowd roared when it became clear it was going to make it in. I leapt to my feet, screaming. So did Ruby. We jump-hugged as the horn sounded. Hats sailed through the air and even though the beret I was wearing belonged to Ruby, I threw it as hard as I could toward the ice.
“Hey!” she yelled in surprise
“I’ll buy you a new one,” I yelled back, laughing and giddy as Hudson turned toward us and saluted me with his stick.
T H E
E N D
Darkroom: A Moo U Hockey Romance Page 24
