I hated the prick.
“Yeah. Bagley needs to work on his ground game.”
I gave Silva a look, but he was having none of it, and I knew I had to suck it up. Well, I wasn’t gonna make it easy on the guy. Baptism by fire was more my style.
Stepping into the ring, I slipped in my mouth guard and focused.
For a bigger guy, Bagley was surprisingly quick on his feet. I was quicker, mind. Within a few minutes, I’d taken him down. With my legs wrapped around his to limit his movability, I cinched in a loose kimura.
“Bagley, if this was a real fight, Murphy would have you tapping by now. You’ve got to work out his weakness and exploit it.”
Hearing the challenge in Silva’s words, I tightened my grip. This guy was going to learn the hard way.
Bagley struggled beneath me, but instead of focusing on the hold, the earlier conversation with Megan replayed in my mind.
“I’m-pregnant-and-it’s-your-baby.”
All I could think about were those life-changing words, and my grip slackened. Bagley rolled over me, causing the hold to lose pressure. He clambered to his feet and then came at me with a volley of ferocious punches.
“Submissions specialist my arse, ya pussy.”
Without thinking, I sprang to my feet and lunged at him blindly.
“The fuck did you say?” I pinned him against the turnbuckle with my arm to his throat.
Bagley batted my arm away and pushed me back. “You heard me, pussy.”
Before I knew what was happening, my fist went flying into his nose, spraying his face with blood. He fell to the ground, letting out an anger-fuelled roar.
He had one hand on his nose and the other on the ground, steadying himself. I slid under him and wrapped my legs around his mid-section again. I grabbed his arm and cinched in another kimura, this time not releasing it until I heard the bone snap.
“Who’s the pussy now, eh, bitch?”
A pair of arms grabbed me from behind and dragged me from Bagley as the first-aiders rushed over. In a haze, I was pulled away and shoved into a room.
When I’d calmed down, I realised I was locked in Silva’s office, and knew how utterly screwed I was.
Letting out a deep breath, I dropped onto the leather couch. I knew it’d be a while before Silva came to see me. He’d want to make sure Bagley was okay. That, and he’d need to cool down himself. That gave me enough time to think up an acceptable reason why I’d just broken the tosser’s arm.
The thing was, along with Browne, Silva was my closest friend. He knew me better than anyone. He’d been my trainer and mentor since I’d started fighting. I’d never have won a championship without him. He was a former boxer, like my dad, and took no shit from anyone, least of all me. Sure, he kept me on side and let a lot slide, but he was also the one who always called me out on my bullshit.
Knowing I’d disappointed him made the situation worse.
I began pacing the small office and spotted a photo on Silva’s desk. It was of him holding his daughter, Catarina, when she was little. She was eighteen now, but Davi still treated her like a princess. She was his whole world.
Kids had never been on my radar before. You didn’t get many coming to fights, and I certainly wasn’t the favourite of the ones who did.
I looked at the picture again. All I could see was a pair of huge brown eyes staring up at me. The realization I was going to have a kid hit me like a punch to the gut. I was going to be a father. I wasn’t sure if I was ready or would ever be.
“What the hell happened out there?” Silva entered the office and sat down on the couch.
“I don’t know. I just lost it.”
“What do you mean, you don’t know?”
“I mean, I don’t know what happened. One minute he’s calling me a pussy, the next I’m beating the shit out of him.”
“That’s not good enough,” Silva said. “You broke his arm. There’s no way he’s going to be able to fight next month. We’re going to have to rearrange the whole damn card to make up for his absence. Doug wants to see you at his office on your day off to discuss what happened.”
FUCK. Doug Taylor was the local promoter who arranged all the events in the area. If he wanted to see me, I was in deep shit.
“You told him?” I couldn’t disguise the outrage in my voice. It was like when I was a kid, and dad came home and mum told him all the naughty things I’d done.
“I’m sorry, Kian, but I had no choice,” he said in an even tone before his voice softened. “I just want to know what’s going on. Earlier you went into the locker room to take that phone call, and came out looking like you were going to pass out. And now you’re flipping out over a bit of name-calling. Even you aren’t usually this volatile. Tell me what’s wrong.”
Davi was like a dog with a bone when he thought something was bothering me. He’d known me for almost five years. We travelled together and hung out on our days off. Knowing it was best to get it over with and tell him, I bowed my head.
“You’re not gonna like this, and I don’t want you passing judgement until I’m done.”
“Would I ever do that?”
He had a point. During my time on the circuit, I’d done some stupid things. Everyone was always quick to claim I was going off the rails, or that the pressure of the business was getting to me. Davi was the only person who listened to what I had to say.
“All right. Do you remember the night we went out for your birthday?”
Davi laughed. “You don’t forget something like that.”
“Right. And we went to that club with the live band. You know, the place where Browne hooked up with that girl in the silver hot pants thing?”
Davi nodded so I continued.
“When he went back to the hotel, some of us went to the chippy. I saw that girl’s mate in there and chatted her up to cut the queue. She called me out on it so I offered her a ride home and, well…”
Davi rolled his eyes. “Let me guess. You spent the night with her and never called back. Now she’s desperate to see you again and you don’t know how to give her the brush off?”
I let out a harsh laugh. “Yeah, well, there’s a little more to it than that. She called me again because she needed to tell me something…”
I wasn’t sure what to say next. Davi was pretty good about most things, but I had no idea how he’d react to the news that I’d gotten some girl pregnant. He wasn’t just my trainer, he was like a second dad to me, and I didn’t want to let him down.
He beat me to the punch. “Please, God. Don’t tell me she’s pregnant.”
I hung my head. I knew I’d disappointed Davi again, and it was more than I could take.
“Jesus Christ, Kian. You’ve done some pretty stupid shit, but this takes the cake. What the hell were you thinking sleeping with someone without protection?”
“I didn’t think, and that’s the problem,” I said, feeling like shit for making such a rookie mistake. “We were getting it on, and she was so hot for me.”
Davi shook his head. “You’re an idiot, you know that? Pregnancy is the least of your worries if you go around sleeping with any woman that so much as looks at you. Didn’t you stop to think that you could catch an STD? You’d be out of action until the condition was treated. Or worse, if it was a viral infection like herpes, that would be it. Career over. Or does being a fighter make you immune to the clap? You need to take a piss test before you leave.”
“Don’t start with the lecture, man. I know I fucked up on a grand scale. All I need to know now is how to fix it.”
“What exactly did she say on the phone? Does she want you involved in the baby’s life?”
“We didn’t get that far. I refused to believe it and told her I didn’t want to hear anything else until she’d seen her doctor.”
“You really are a class act, Kian. Don’t you get how hard it must have been for her to call you up and admit she’s pregnant? Then you go and react like that. I’d be surprised
if you ever hear from her again.”
“I guess that’s the problem solved, isn’t it?” I replied without even thinking. As soon as the words left my mouth, I regretted them. Even if Megan never called again, this wasn’t the end. Now I knew she was pregnant, I’d keep seeing the picture of Davi and Catarina, imagining it was me with my child.
“No, this isn’t the end of it. You’re going to call her up, apologise for being such an idiot, and then ask her what she wants to do next.”
“Say I do call her up and she forgives me. Then what? I don’t know if I’m ready to have a baby. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready.”
“Who’s to say she’ll even keep the baby. And if she does, how do you know she’ll want you in the its life?”
“Why wouldn’t she? I’m its father. It’s my right.”
Davi shook his head. “Yes, because you’ve really acted like the perfect parent so far, Kian. You’re on the road more than you’re at home. She’s the one who’s going to be left behind, raising the child alone.”
“I’ll give her money every month. That’s all she needs, isn’t it?”
“Are you really so naive to think that all it takes to bring up a child is a cut of your pay cheque every month? It takes a hell of a lot more than that. You have to teach this child everything it needs to know to become a successful and well-grounded adult. You have to love and nurture it. I’m talking about school sports days, friends’ birthday parties, parent-teacher meetings, helping with homework. Do you really think you can do all of that from the gym?”
“Other people do. You and Taylor managed it just fine.”
“For Christ’s sake. This situation is nothing like mine or Taylor’s. Doug is married to the chairman’s daughter; if he wants time off to look after his sick kid, he can have it, no questions asked. And I didn’t “manage” just fine. My career almost cost me my daughters, and contributed to my divorce.”
“What you’re saying is, if I want to have any part in my child’s life, I’ve got to give up everything I’ve worked for my entire career?”
“No, I’m not saying that. But parenthood is about sacrifices, Kian. What you need to do first is put your stupid male ego away, call her up, apologise, and then take it from there. Ask her what she wants to do next, and make sure you let her know you’re one-hundred percent willing to support her in all of this.”
“You know what? Screw this. I can’t deal with all this bullshit right now.” I got up from the couch and shoulder barged Davi out of the way when he tried to block my path to the door.
“Kian, wait-”
The rest of his words were lost as I walked down the corridor and passed the locker-room. I was almost at the end of the hallway when Browne appeared.
“Hey, Kian. Wait up, mate. Are you all right?”
I ground to a halt but didn’t turn to face him. “Get lost, Brownie.”
“Is this something to do with Ruby? Did you beat Bagwell up because you’re pissed off at her?”
“No, it fucking ain’t about her. You know, the world doesn’t revolve around that tramp. Just fuck off, all right?”
“Okay. Don’t get your knickers in a knot.”
The phrase was one Browne used to mean it was okay and he’d back off, but the mood I was in made it grate on me, and I spun around to face him.
“Shut up, will ya!” I gave him a hard shove backwards.
“Don’t start this shit, Murphy. Just ‘cos something’s got you pissed off, don’t take it out on me.”
“Whatever.” I shoved him again and strode away.
Walking aimlessly, I went to the nearby park. I needed to be away from everyone. When I found a bench out of the way of people, I sat down and buried my head in my hands.
What the fuck am I going to do?
I didn’t know the first thing about kids. The last time I’d even seen a baby up close was when I’d been forced to go to my cousin’s christening ten years ago.
This is insane.
Davi was right; kids needed more than just money throwing at them. How could I be a father if I wasn’t around? Kids needed someone to look up to, like I looked up to my dad. But I was hardly role model material.
The sound of screaming pulled me from my thoughts, and a guy walked towards me with a little girl in his arms. She looked about three and had her head buried in his neck.
“Mind if I sit?” he asked.
“Sure.” I shuffled along the bench.
The girl stopped screaming, but she was still upset, and tears fell down her cheeks.
“She fell over and grazed her knee,” the guy said. “And of course, she had to have an accident when it’s my weekend to look after her. Her mum’s going to kill me.”
The guy turned his attention back to his daughter, who was complaining about the cut on her knee, and I was left with his words.
Would that be me in a few years’ time, only seeing my kid at weekends? Or would Megan having the baby be easier to deal with if I knew I didn’t have to be there all the time?
Dad had been away a lot when I was growing up, and even though we were pretty close now, I still wished he’d been around more when I was a kid. Could I do that to my own child?
I didn’t have a fucking clue. I had no idea what type of father I’d be, but I realised sitting on a bench in the park wasn’t going to help me figure it out. Davi was right. I needed to call Megan and sort things out. Even if it was just to say I wanted to be part of my kid’s life, it was a step in the right direction.
I made my way back to the gym and debated for a minute if it was a good time to call Megan. But I was just making excuses to put it off for longer. If she didn’t answer, I could leave a message and try again later.
My body shook as I picked up my phone and hit call back. When she didn’t answer straight away, I was tempted to give up and leave a message. Then she picked up.
“Hello.”
“Hey. It’s Kian.”
“Hey.” Her voice hitched, and she drew in a little breath.
“Sorry about earlier. I acted like a total dick, and you shouldn’t have to put up with that.”
“Thanks. I appreciate you saying that. I understand why you reacted like you did. It was unfair of me to spring the news on you like I did.”
She sounded drained, like she hadn’t slept in days. I wanted to make her feel better. She already had so much to deal with and I’d made it worse.
“It’s all right. What else could you’ve done? I’ve been thinking, and whatever you want to do about the baby, I’ll support you. If you want money or help with anything, just let me know.”
“Thank you. That means a lot to me.” Her voice sounded a little less strained. “Erm, I’ve got an appointment with my doctor next Tuesday. I don’t suppose you want to come with me?”
“Yeah, sure. I’ll make sure I haven’t got training or anything. Want me to pick you up?”
“No, it’s okay. I’ll meet you there. Is eleven-thirty okay?”
“Sure, that’s fine.”
“All right then. I’ll see you next week, Kian. And thanks for calling. It really does mean a lot to me that you’re willing to support me through this.” She sounded genuinely touched by the fact that I’d phoned her.
“It’s nothing. I just want what’s best for you and the baby.”
Megan gave me the address of the surgery then we ended the call and rang off.
I let out a long breath. Speaking to Megan was the right thing. I was glad everything seemed okay and she wasn’t angry at me for acting like a dick.
Then a realization hit me. In three days’ time, I’d be going to talk to Megan about the baby – our baby.
CHAPTER THREE
I threw the shirt on my bed and sighed. It was the third outfit I’d tried on, and nothing I’d pulled out of my wardrobe was right. I looked fat, and ugly, and stupid. The tears prickling behind my eyes only made it worse.
Damn pregnancy hormones …
I didn�
��t know why I was worked up, anyway. It wasn’t like I was meeting Kian for a date. We were going to the doctors to discuss our baby. The time for impressing him had passed.
Only it hadn’t. I never expected to see him again, let alone be doing this, and I wanted to make a good first impression. Not because I wanted him to think I was hot or anything. Starting a relationship with Kian was the last thing on my mind. I barely knew the guy. I barely knew myself at the moment.
Looking at my watch, I realised I had ten minutes before I was due to meet him. Unless I wanted to be late, the shirt would have to do. Grabbing it off my bed, I pulled it over my head, brushed my hair, grabbed my bag, and was out the door.
I pulled into the surgery car park to see a red Audi convertible waiting there. A car like that would draw a lot of attention. It had to be Kian’s.
As I approached, he caught sight of me, smiled, and opened the door. I stepped forward and smelt the scent of aftershave so familiar to me it made my stomach flip. Every feeling I’d had on the night we’d spent together came rushing to the forefront. This time, each emotion was coupled with something else. On that night, he’d just been some attractive stranger who’d offered me a ride home and then left me breathless. Now, he was the father of the child inside me. He was someone who could be involved in my life for the next twenty-one years at least, and I had to find a way to deal with that. Trying to push the conflicting voices out of my head, I sat down in the passenger seat.
“Hey,” I said. Anything else would have felt both ridiculous and inadequate.
“Hey.” The swagger he’d had on the night we’d met was replaced by a cautious uncertainty. “How are things? You feeling okay? No morning sickness or anything?”
I laughed, thinking about my earlier hormonal outburst, and shook my head. “I’m good, thanks. No sickness this morning, thank God.”
“That’s good, isn’t it? What time’s your appointment?”
“Twelve. I thought we could talk about what we’re going to do first.”
“Sure. I meant what I said on the phone last week. I’m sorry for being such a dick, and whatever you want to do, I’ll support you.”
“Thanks. That means a lot. The next few months are going to be tough, let alone when the baby comes.”
All It Takes Page 3
