Fusion

by Rose, Imogen

  “Well, that’s nice of you, but I think I can handle it again.”

  She pursed her lips. “Can I still borrow your stuff?”

  I had very strict rules about my stuff, and I hated lending anything out. Most of my things lasted for ages because I took great care of them. Letting Ella use anything didn’t seem like a great idea. “What kind of stuff?” I asked her, hoping it would be the odd t-shirt.

  “Well, I was planning to use your Pucci bag today, you know, the one Mom got you in Paris.”

  Of course I knew. It was one of my prized possessions, one that I carefully stored in a dust bag when not in use. My natural instinct was to say no. She was way too young to be playing dress-up with it, but her expression—her lips set in a defiant line—made me hesitate.

  “I already have it packed and ready to go,” she informed me curtly.

  “Well, unpack it, then! You should have asked!” I snarled at her.

  “I did! You said I could borrow whatever I wanted.” She burst into tears and yelled, “I hate you! I liked you so much better as the other Arizona!” She turned around and fled down the stairs.

  Perfect! I had turned my only sister against me. I felt my eyes water up, and tears ran down my cheek. I was a mess. Breakfast would have to wait. There was no way I was going down there looking like this, and now they were probably waiting to yell at me for upsetting Ella. Had I really just given her permission to use my stuff whenever? That was just insane. I must have lost my mind completely. She’d have to adjust back to what it was like before.

  A shower had become a necessity. I stood under the hot spray for ages, letting the drops wash away my anger. The irritation was replaced by remorse. Poor Ella. She must be wondering what the heck was going on. One minute I was lending her stuff, and the next I was back to my old rules. She’d had a whole year of the other me. At her age, that probably felt like forever. She’d probably forgotten what I had been like before. I turned off the water, dried myself, got ready super fast, and rushed down the stairs.

  All the chatting stopped as I entered the kitchen. Everyone looked up at me, their faces grumpy. Ella had obviously told them.

  “Ella, I am so sorry,” I said quickly and walked around to her chair. “I’m having a hard time getting used to things. Everything has changed. But I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I am really sorry.”

  She looked up and nodded slightly. “So, it’s okay if I take your Pucci, then?”

  The little monkey. “Yes, I guess. But let’s talk about other borrows before you help yourself. Okay?”

  “I suppose. Most of your bags are in my closet. You said you didn’t want them.”

  Sheesh! I took a deep breath, breathing out again to maintain my cool. “Let’s talk about that later.” I turned to sit down between Ali and Maria.

  As Mom passed me the bacon, Ali leaned in and squeezed my arm. “Totally with you. Can’t believe you let her have them in the first place! Can’t see you getting them back, though. But no worries, we can always go shopping.” She smiled.

  “And replace my whole bag collection?” I whispered back.

  “Oh, she doesn’t have them all. Just the Pucci, your MJ clutch, and the Chanel messenger.”

  The Chanel messenger! My pride and joy. It was all I could do to not throw a complete wobbly. I’d have to find a way to get that one back. She could keep the other two. I bit into the bacon, catching Kellan’s look from across the table. Well, not exactly his look: his full-blown snorts of laughter. I threw a piece of bacon at him. “Stop! It’s not funny!”

  He held his hands up in surrender as he tried to stifle his chortles.

  “Enough, Arizona. No throwing food around.” Mom’s tone was stern and final.

  “So, what’s everyone doing today?” Harry asked, trying to lighten the mood.

  “I’ve got a playdate with Jonas and Sally,” Ella said. “Mom, you’re taking me, right?”

  “I’m dropping you off, Ella,” Harry said.

  “That’s right.” Mom stood up. “I’ve actually got to head into my office for a while, so I will see you later. Call me if you need anything.”

  “Is Dad coming home today?” Ella asked.

  “I’m not sure, but I’ll try to find out. See you later, Munchkin.” Mom kissed the top of Ella’s head and left with Bruno.

  “Ella, you ready?” Harry asked.

  “Yes.” She threw me a cursory glance before reaching down under the table and emerging with my Pucci. And they were off.

  Ali laughed. “Little monkey! But you can’t really blame her. You’ve been shockingly disinterested in your bags.”

  “And on that note, I am going to head out,” David said, leaving just the girls, Kellan, and me. They had already finished breakfast, so they hung around while I chowed on mine.

  “Are you totally back to your normal self?” Maria asked. “Including your obsession with bags.”

  “I’m not sure what that means. I am just me. I think.”

  “You think?” Maria raised an eyebrow. “I guess you’re all confused? I mean, you were thinking of cheering yesterday…”

  “What’s so strange about that?” I asked snippily.

  “Nothing, I guess. Except that you haven’t done it for so long. Try not to take everything so personally. We’ve all been living with another you for almost a year. Imagine what it was like for us! It’s great that you’re back to normal, but give us a break. It took us a while to get used to the other you.”

  Ali laughed.

  “What?” I asked.

  “I was just remembering back to the time when you told us that you were giving up cheer to play ice hockey. That was so insane.”

  “Yeah,” Maria agreed. “But we went along with it. Even supported you. So cut us a bit of slack.”

  “I guess. You’re right. It’s going to take me a while. Kellan took me skating yesterday, and I loved it.”

  “We can go again today if you want,” he offered.

  “Or you can come to cheer practice,” Ali suggested.

  I closed my eyes. Much as I wanted to go skating with Kell, I needed to get back to norm, so I nodded at Ali. “That sounds great.” I turned to Kellan. “Maybe later?”

  “No probs,” he said lightly, although he looked disappointed. “I’m going to go use Harry’s computer. I’ve got a big project due this week. Shout if you need me.”

  “Finally!” Ali said as he disappeared. “Don’t get me wrong. I love Kellan, but I’ve been dying for some girl time. So spill, Arizona! What’s going on? David or Kell?”

  “I don’t know. I wake up to have everyone tell me that I’ve lost a whole year. Then I get nabbed by a Wanderer who takes me to Simla’s dad. WTF? David rescues me—turns out he’s a Wanderer as well—then we go all over the place, and Dad… oh well, never mind. Maybe I am in a coma now. This all seems insane.” I pursed my lips.

  “Yes, it totally does,” Maria agreed. “But it’s real. Tell us what happened with Gertrude yesterday. You were really vague. Where is she, by the way?”

  “David took her home last night… early this morning. I know I didn’t describe it to you well at all, but that’s because I had no idea what I was seeing. It was just a bunch of random pics, and I couldn’t tell what was in them because they flashed so quickly. However, I tried to figure it out later with Gertrude, and…” I glanced at the doorway, to make sure Kellan wasn’t around, and then lowered my voice to a whisper. “Gertrude showed me pictures of David and me kissing each other.” I stopped as my two best friends in the world opened their eyes wide and stared at me, bursting with anticipation.

  “And!” Ali hissed.

  “And I don’t know what to think. I mean, I guess I can accept the kiss. It’s not like we haven’t kissed before. But this kiss was different. It happened on the ice rink, after a hockey practice.”

  Ali shrugged. “That is strange. You’ve been into Kellan ever since you started playing hockey. Can’t imagine why you’d be kissing David
.”

  “There’s more,” I said. “My hair was brown.”

  “What do you mean?” Maria look puzzled.

  “My hair… it wasn’t this color.” I pulled at it. “It was like chestnut brown.”

  “Huh?” Ali tipped her face and squinted at my hair. “I can’t even imagine you with brown hair.”

  “I looked ridic,” I confirmed. “And there is more, but you’ve got to promise not to tell anyone ever.”

  They both looked at me, expressions serious. “Of course, Arizona. We’d never,” Ali said. Maria nodded.

  I felt myself turn tomato red when I prepared to repeat what I had seen. I kind of wished that I never mentioned it at all. The whole thing seemed too weird and embarrassing to share. Still, it bothered me, and I had to talk about it with someone. And they were my people. I really could talk to them about anything. Even this.

  I lowered my voice even more and huddled closer to them. “I did it with David.” I paused dramatically. “At least, that’s what Gertrude showed me.” It was a very inadequate description of what she’d actually shown me, and I blushed at the memory.

  “It?” Maria said.

  “Shush! Keep your voice down. I don’t want Kellan to hear.”

  “Of course, sorry,” she whispered. “I’m just so… shocked.”

  “You really went all the way?” Ali asked.

  “It’s just what Gertrude showed me. She might be imagining it.”

  “A dog who imagines two teens doing it?” Ali snickered. “That doesn’t seem likely, does it? That would be one odd little dog.”

  “Well, she kind of is. She is a Wanderer…”

  Ali shook her head. “Too weird even for a Wanderer dog, I’d imagine.”

  “Was your hair brown again?” Maria asked.

  I nodded. The whole thing freaked me out. Then I felt a chill stab through me as I remembered my conversation with Kellan and David in Las Vegas.

  “Hey, are you okay?” Ali put her hand on my forehead. “You’ve turned all pale. I know it’s hard not to remember something like that, but we’ll work it out. There has to be an explanation.”

  “Yeah. I just remembered that when I was stuck in Vegas with Kell and David, we joked about the possibility that I might have a doppelganger.”

  “What’s that?” Maria asked.

  “It’s a double, an identical me, but not a twin. Someone who is me living in another dimension. Sheesh, I’m not explaining this well at all. You know how Mom brought Ella and me through a portal? The Portal took us to another dimension. Apparently, there are multiple dimensions, and this is just one of them. It could be that when Mom brought us through, our lives split into two somehow, and we’re still living there—the other dimension—as well.”

  Ali and Maria just stared at me like I was totally bonkers. “You’ve been watching too much Star Trek,” Maria said.

  “Wait,” Ali said. “I don’t understand. What exactly are you saying?”

  “Actually, I’m not sure. We know for sure that Mom created a portal that allows for time travel. It also allows for travel through dimensions—and that’s where I get lost. We’ve got to talk to Mom about this. Anyhow, what if I really have a doppelganger? Maybe she has brown hair.”

  “And you think David made out with your doppelganger?”

  “He practically dragged Gertrude home as soon as I mentioned the brown hair for one thing. Plus he’s been spending a lot of time in the other dimension. I know his dad lives there, but still, it’s weird of him to just move there. And I know he was totally into me, but that’s not the case any more.”

  “Well, he could just have a new girlfriend, your doppelganger or not,” Ali said. “However, his reaction was odd when you mentioned the hair color. Did you ask him about it?”

  “No, and I didn’t tell him about the other thing. The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that even though it looked like me, it wasn’t.”

  “We should tell Kellan,” Maria said. “He may have some ideas, or his dad might.”

  “No! It’s too embarrassing.”

  “You don’t have to tell him exactly what happened, just say that you saw David skating around with you, but you had brown hair, and then tell him about your suspicions.”

  I nodded. That sounded sensible. Kellan had been privy to the conversation about a possible doppelganger in Vegas, so this wouldn’t come totally out of the blue.

  Then I remembered the phone call. A. That’s what David had called his girlfriend. A for Arizona?

  From the moment he’d watched her walk into his class in elementary school, David had felt a connection with her. He’d kept looking over at the new girl as she sat down, unable to keep his eyes off her. He’d rushed home after school and, full of excitement, told his mom all about the new girl—Arizona.

  His mother had listened intently as he described every nuance of her: how she walked, how she sat with one foot resting on the other, how she talked with a slightly sing-song voice, the cute way she flicked her hair before she raised her arm to ask a question, the way her nose scrunched up when she smiled. His mother had listened silently as she’d watched his beaming face more animated than she’d probably ever seen him before.

  Days later, when his mom asked him if he’d like to be assigned to Arizona, he had jumped at the chance. His mother had been the Wanderer council leader for as long as he could remember, and, as a result, he’d been exposed to the inner workings of their kind from a young age. He’d asked to learn to use his powers early on, and although his mother had tried to talk him out of it, he’d been persistent. She had carefully and slowly taught him—first about the principles. Once he’d learned to embrace those, she’d trained him to use his powers. He’d never been allowed to use them on his own and was under strict instruction to only use them in a life-or-death situation. Any other time required a unanimous vote from the Elders.

  It had been with these conditions that he was assigned to Arizona to observe her, to study her behavior. He wasn’t told the reasons at the time, but he’d never needed a reason. Any excuse to be close to her, to be involved in her life somehow, had been enough for him until later, in high school, when his feelings for her became stronger. It was no longer enough to be around her. He wanted to be with her. And Arizona seemed to feel the same way.

  About a year ago, it all changed. Suddenly she’d been all about Kellan. It had been hell. He’d felt like a part of him had been ripped away. Still, he’d done his job, as always, and protected her no matter what. But how long could he keep doing that? Especially now that his heart belonged with A in New Jersey.

  All he wanted was to be able to live a human life, an ordinary life with the girl he loved. Would he be allowed to walk away from his duties, from his powers?

  David walked into his home ready to have it out with his mother.

  Inez sat waiting for him in the kitchen, waving him to sit down beside her. She poured him a cup of tea and then looked at him, worry pouring from her eyes. “I know what you want. I can feel it. All I ask is that you complete this assignment, and then I’ll put it to the Elders. You know it will be their decision.”

  “Thanks, Mom. Just one question. How do we know when this assignment is over? I assume that Arizona will always need to be watched since she is now the daughter of the sovereign. How will there be an end to this assignment?”

  “I meant the current issue. I hope that when Rupert comes back, we can find a replacement to take over from you.”

  “Kellan?”

  “He would be the natural choice, but he has not chosen this life, and like you said, Arizona is the sovereign’s daughter, so she will need proper protection. Rupert will have the final say.”

  “Do you have any idea what’s going on and how long it will be before Arizona’s dad comes back?”

  “No, I don’t, but Rupert has called a meeting with the Elders at Constance’s house tonight. You should come as well.”

  “Thanks, Mom. I will if
I am back from New Jersey by then.”

  “New Jersey?” Inez looked taken aback. “You can’t leave your assignment. I thought you understood.”

  “But I have to take Gertrude back. Where is she, by the way?”

  “Oh, Morgana will take her back to Arizona in New Jersey. You have to stay here. I am sure Morgana will be happy to pass on a message.”

  “I wanted to do it myself.” His frustration and anger reverberated.

  “My hands are tied. You are to stay here. I’m sorry. I’ll try to speak with Constance and Rupert tonight. Okay?”

  He nodded.

  “Morgana just popped out for a short walk with Gertrude. Did you want to give her something to pass on to Arizona?”

  He picked up a sheet of paper and composed a note, reading each sentence with dissatisfaction. The words were just a sequence of made up excuses, of lies. He couldn’t tell her the truth. He wasn’t allowed to, and he didn’t even want to. He didn’t want her involved in this world. He tore up the letter and started again, keeping it simple. Been held up. See you soon. Love you, D. He folded the note and handed it to his mom.

  “Shall I put it in an envelope?”

  “No need.” He shrugged.

  “You’d better go, but before you do, did Gertrude help Arizona remember anything at all?”

  “Gertrude showed her images of a brown-haired Arizona kissing me.”

  “Brown haired? That’s strange.”

  “Actually it’s not. A recently dyed her hair back to its normal color. The incident Gertrude described is one that happened just the day before I brought her back here.”

  “Ah! Gertrude must have been visualizing her most recent memories first.”

  “Yeah, and that could have been a disaster. I stopped the process, but not before Arizona questioned what she saw. I hope she’ll let it go.”

  “Hmm. It’ll be tricky if she doesn’t.”

  Boys may come and go, but one thing will never change–my love of bacon. The smell, the texture, and the taste, all so perfectly combined, makes it the perfect initiation into the day.

  Whatever this day was about to spring on me, the bacon made sure to get me off to the right start. I popped another piece into my mouth and chewed on it slowly, enjoying every minute of my breakfast.