I love that Jay doesn't seem fazed by my inexperience, knowing I've never done this before.
I try not to be afraid and shy, because I want this too. “Okay. Let me go to my room first.”
A soft growl of approval faintly transfers through, spiking my desire and clenching my sex in anticipation. I lock my bedroom door and get under the covers of my bed, eager and excited for wherever this is headed.
“Where do you want me to touch first?” I sound anything but confident.
“Anywhere,” he almost sounds like he's begging me, making this even hotter. I love the passion he has for me, how he'll take any part of myself I'll give to him, no matter how little it is, and it's more than enough; he's just thankful to have a piece.
How did I get so lucky to find a man that loves me like this? That believes everything I am, everything I have to offer is more than he could ask for?
I slide my hand down my stomach, skimming the cotton of my night shirt. Goosebumps are already covering my skin before I've even made contact with it. I roll the material up enough to feel the waistband of my pajama bottoms. I stop there, explaining where my hand is resting, wanting him to tell me where to go next.
“Slide it under your panties–”
“I'm not wearing any,” I cut in, knowing the image will drive him insane.
The low growl of approval that rumbles out of him tells me I've hit my mark.
“Touch yourself...god baby, touch yourself and let me hear how good it feels.”
Any shyness is long gone at how turned on this is making him. I like having this kind of control over him, how much of himself he entrusts in me, knowing there is nobody else he gives himself to like he does for me.
I slide under the fabric, hitting the spot I know always gets me wet and ready. My whimper causes him to let out a hum of his arousal.
“I want you to do this with me.” I get wetter imagining him stroking his cock while he pictures me playing with myself.
“I already am,” he replies, his desire made clear in the way he breathes out the words.
“I can almost taste you on my tongue,” he tells me, knowing what this is doing to me. “Damn baby, you taste so fucking good. I want to start at your toes and nibble, suck, and bite my way up, stopping between your legs, making you scream out my name over and over again until you can't take any more. Then I'll travel to your breasts that fit perfectly into my hand, playing, teasing, enjoying the way your nipples harden as I take them into my mouth. I'll give them the attention they deserve, making you beg for me to be inside you. I'll end with your mouth as I slam so hard into you that every part of you hands itself over to me, knowing I'm the only man that can satisfy you like this.”
I rub myself harder and harder with every word he delivers.
“I want it rough, Jay. I want it so deep inside me that there is nothing else to think about but how you overtake my body and consume me.”
I hear him groaning and panting, vigorously stroking himself.
“Lily, baby,” he's breathless in a way that tells me he's close.
“I want you to pull out and come all over me. I want to see how good I make you feel.”
“Oh, fuck,” Jay moans and his release has mine shortly following. I pull my pillow to my mouth, biting into it to keep from crying out loud.
“That was hot, Lily,” he pants. “But I think somehow I want you more than I did when I called.”
I know what he means. It has only reminded me of how our bodies connect when they are together, how incredible it feels to have his hands, body, and lips on me and inside me.
We stay silent for a few minutes, content just to hear the other breathing, then we start talking about random mundane things until we start to nod off. I think we both might finally get a good night's rest.
Chapter 11
Saturday, March 1
7:19pm
“Is that guy going to be there? The one Naomi keeps trying to set you up with?” Jay asks when I tell him I'm getting ready for a party at Naomi's brother's place.
“Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's why she was so persistent that I go.” I'm very close to Naomi's family and go to most parties they have, so I know the only reason she kept pestering me about it had to be because of Nate.
“It's really fucking hard for me to not get on a plane right now and take you to that party, making sure every male there knows you're mine,” he grinds out, working his jaw. “Seriously, Lily, my temperature's rising at the idea of some guy even looking at you.”
“You know it doesn't matter, right? That I'm not interested in him, or anyone? I only want you.” Sometimes Jay's possessiveness is hot and sometimes it makes me wary, afraid he'll try to control where I go and who I talk to.
He doesn't answer and I can hear him pacing the floor.
“Do you not want me to go?” I'm fearful to ask, but it's important I know his answer in case I need to make it clear that nobody controls what I do but me.
“No,” he sounds confused. “Why wouldn't I? I mean, do I like that you're going to a party with other guys? Hell fucking no. Am I going to be thinking about who's hitting on you all night? Every fucking second. But I wouldn't want you not to go just because I have jealousy issues.”
“I think I just fell more in love with you, Jay.” And I have. It's overwhelming, the ferocity with which I love him, how rooted into me he has become in such a short amount of time, but I'm not sure it could have been any other way with him.
“Lily.” Jay's voice turns dead serious and I can hear he's stopped pacing, “I need you to be honest with me.”
“Of course.”
“Why does Noami want you with this guy so bad?”
I hadn't a clue what Jay was going to ask, but that sure wasn't it.
“Softened truth or the hard truth?”
“With you? Hard. Always.”
I laugh at how suggestive he made that.
“He recently broke up with his girlfriend and was asking about me. Naomi remembers the mad crush I had on him and thinks it's time I started dating again.”
“Didn't you say Noami doesn't approve of anyone? So why him?”
“Yes, but he's been her brother's longest friend and she knows what a great guy he is.”
“Oh,” is Jay's quiet reply. “What makes him so great?”
This is an awkward conversation to be having with Jay. I don't understand why he wants to know all this. Inquiring too much about something is my thing. “Um, well, he owns and runs a martial arts studio and twice a week gives free lessons at the women's shelter Stevie volunteers at, and gives any child who can't afford it free lessons. He's basically always been a really personable, giving, kind person.”
The silence that follows makes me wish that I had toned down my honesty.
“He's who you would have ended up with if I hadn't been selfish and had kept my distance from you,” he utters, dry and matter-of-fact.
Shit, I should have known Jay would turn this into him not feeling good enough for me. How do I make him understand he's all my heart wants, that's he's the only man I could ever love this deeply? We complete the other in ways no one else ever could, teaching one another things about ourselves we wouldn't have known otherwise.
Just as I'm about to share all this and pour my heart out to him, Stevie and Naomi come bursting into my bedroom, giggling and ready to go party.
I wave them out of my room so I can finish talking to Jay, “Give me a minute. I'll meet you at the car.”
Of course they ignore me and come closer.
“Is that the guy you keep secretly talking to?” Stevie questions, trying to sneak a peak at the screen.
I shoo her away with my hand as Naomi comes tromping over, “No way, Lily. I'm not letting whoever that is to make you depressed and ruin our evening.”
Naomi snatches my phone, “I don't know who you are or why you keep calling her, but it needs to stop.”
I claw at her to get the phone back, but she's quick
and heads out of my room.
“She lives for these calls, and doesn't want to leave the house on her free time in case she misses one.”
“Naomi!” I cry, chasing after her. Damn her, I'm sick of her thinking I need her to hold my hand through life.
“Then when you do call,” she keeps going, ignoring me and walking further away, “she's depressed afterwards. If you care for her, let her live her life. Stop making her pine away for you. You don't know her. I do. She has the biggest heart out of anyone I know, and you're playing tug of war with it. There's this great guy that's genuinely interested in her, and I think she'd be interested too if you didn't keep messing with her head. Let her go–”
I finally snatch it back.
“Baby, please don't listen to her. It's not like that,” I quickly explain into the phone, desperate to make things right, but Jay's already hung up.
I blink at the phone, opened-mouthed in disbelief Naomi just did that, and then I get angry. Furious, really. A seething ball of rage.
I snap my head and burn Naomi down with my heated glare.
“What gives you the right to fucking do that!” I yell, taking she and Stevie by surprise. “Just because your love life is all over the place right now does not mean you need to take me and Jay down with you! Who gives a fuck if I miss him and I get sad after our phone conversations. You had no right!” I've never yelled like this before. My skin is inflamed and I can feel my veins bulging out of my face and neck, “Get out of my fucking house!”
Naomi covers her mouth and her eyes get wide, “I'm so sorry, Lily. I thought I was helping–”
“Figure out your own damn life before you fuck with mine! Now get out!” I scream unnecessarily loud, pointing at the door, “OUT!”
“Lily, I'm sorry, please–”
“Out!”
She doesn't try any more and quickly exits.
Stevie goes to follow her but stops at the door. “This isn't me choosing sides...” she trails off, conflicted in what is the right thing to do.
I take in a deep breath and pinch the bridge of my nose, “I know. You love her. I would do the same thing. Go make sure she's okay. I understand.”
“Thank you. I love you. It's been Jay this whole time, huh?”
I shrug and let the tears fall. “I love him,” I choke out, more upset with the way I yelled at my best friend.
Stevie runs to me and gives me a tight hug, “Let me go check on Naomi, then I'll come back and we can take away our relationship trouble with the only two men who are always there for us.”
“Jack and the Captain?” I sniffle.
Stevie laughs, “I was thinking more like Ben and Jerry, but that works too.”
Once she leaves I collapse on the couch, staring down at my phone, praying he'll call me back.
He never does.
Chapter 12
Saturday, March 22
8:16am
I shuffle into the kitchen to get my morning coffee. It's been three weeks with no phone calls. If Naomi thought I got depressed after our calls, well that's mild compared to how I'm doing now. Sure I desperately miss him, but more importantly, those calls let me know he's alive. Now I haven't a clue and it's slowly eating away at me.
Seth's already ransacking the fridge for food.
I pour myself a mug and fan out yesterday's mail that I was too tired to look through last night.
“Did my skateboarding magazine come?” Seth asks, chomping into an apple behind me.
“Doesn't look like it.”
“Bummer.” He goes to walk away but stops, pulling up an envelope. “Why is a private bank in San Fransisco sending you mail?”
I shove aside the catalog I had started leafing through and snatch the envelope from his hand.
It's from Cole Private Bank and Trust.
With shaky hands I rip the top off.
Seth's dangerously close to my personal space, his chomping echoing in my ear, his breath hot on my neck – it's really hard to not smack him right now.
I pull out the folded papers. From the thinness of it I'd guess it's only two or three pages.
It's a statement.
It's a statement for my bank account that holds fifteen thousand dollars.
“Is this for real?” Seth leans forward, squinting. “How the fuck did you get that?”
I'm too flabbergasted to respond or scold him for his language. I have to blink a few times to make sure I'm seeing this right.
Why do I have this money?
This isn't sitting well with me, not one bit.
I hurry to my room and grab my cell, dialing the bank's number at the top of the page.
Customer service answers.
“I need to speak with Mr. Cole, please?”
“You need to contact him through his direct line, ma'am.”
“Can you transfer me?” I plead, desperation pouring out.
“No ma'am, you need–”
I cut her off, not needing to hear the rest, “Can I have the number?”
“I'm not at liberty to do that. I can get my supervisor for you?”
“Mr. Cole knows me,” I try, needing her to understand how important it is I speak with him. “Tell him Lily Evans needs to speak with him immediately.”
“Sorry ma'am, but we aren't permitted to do that.”
I try not to cry out in frustration, she's only doing her job. It wouldn't be fair to her if I lost my patience.
“Okay, maybe you can help me out. Can you tell me when my account was set up?” Please be when I was in San Fransisco and not recently.
“Of course, can you please give me your account number?”
I read off the numbers and anxiously wait for her to pull it up.
Seth has been standing at my door, watching me acting like a crazy person this whole time, but it doesn't stop the madness that's threatening to overtake me.
“Okay Ms. Evans, I'm going to transfer you to Mr. Briggs. He handles your account.”
I open my mouth to ask her why she can't just tell me, but I'm already on hold listening to classical music.
Don't freak out. This is most likely what Jay had you secretly sign, it doesn't mean anything.
“Ms. Evans,” a friendly man's voice picks up, “Andrew Briggs, your account advisor. What can I help you with today?”
“I need to know why I have this money and when it was activated.” I skip any pleasantries, needing answers.
“Oh, I'm sorry, was that not what you had wanted? I have here that you wanted fifteen transferred to your account from your trust every month, but I can talk to your investors about more if you'd like?” He sounds nervous, thinking I'm upset with him, that this isn't how I wished my money to be handled.
“My trust?” My voice squeaks, my nerves in shambles.
“Yes, the one set up for you last month.”
I swallow into my dry, thick throat, “How much is my trust for?”
“Well, it's new so you can't be expecting much return yet. It's still close to the original three million you put in.”
“Excuse me?” I practically choke on the words – clearly I heard him wrong.
“Well, these things take time Ms. Evans. You have made interest, but you won't really see a significant change for awhile,” he continues, still sounding fearful I'm upset with my account.
“It doesn't show you how I got my trust does it?” I almost hang up, not wanting to hear the answer.
“No ma'am. That's confidential and I don't have access.”
“Is it possible for you to transfer me to Mr. Cole?”
“I'm sorry, but I don't have that authority.”
Of course he doesn't.
“Does anybody I can talk to?”
“I can leave a message with his assistants, but they won't get back to you until Monday or later.”
“Can I talk to one of them?”
“Sorry again Ms. Evans, but Mr. Cole doesn't take part in the main banking and doesn't allow us access to
himself. The only thing I can do is forward a message.”
“Fine. Find a way for him to know Lily Evans wants to speak with him ASAP.”
“Yes, ma'am. I'm sorry if you're not happy–”
I quickly interrupt, “You've been great. I just have a personal matter I need to discuss with him.”
He becomes relieved, “I'm happy to hear that. Anything else I can do for you?”
“No. Thanks.” I hang up. Is that why Jay was so secretive? He knew I wouldn't accept this money? My brain keeps trying to make me believe the worst has happened and that he wanted me to have this money if something happened to him, but I won't allow myself to go there. Not yet. It can't be because he's gone, it just can't. Wouldn't Ben have the decency to inform me? What if he's dead too? No, I would think the bank would know at least that.
Oh, shit.
I quickly go to the living room and fire up the computer, ready to do some research that might give me clues to if anything happened to Jay or Ben.
Seth follows, intrigued with what's going on, while I search for answers on the world wide web.
“Who's Benedict Cole?” Seth munches in my ear, increasing my insanity level.
I continue ignoring him, scanning if any sites mention an injury or death. After twenty minutes of searching I find nothing out of the ordinary.
I do another search, browsing San Fransisco news sites for anything suspicious.
Nothing.
Well that's good, but it doesn't ease my worry that something happened to Jay.
I'm calling. I don't care if I promised Jay I wouldn't. It's worth having him yell and get pissed at me.
The line rings once before taking me straight to the Cole Private Bank and Trust automated system.
Goddammit! Nothing is simple when it comes to that man!
I turn to Seth, “What would you do if you couldn't find the answers you were looking for, but desperately needed?”
He gives me a mischievous wiggle of his brows, “I'd go to the source, of course.”
I jump up and wrap my arms around him, “Brilliant!”
Jay never forbid me from coming to him. Sure, it was implied, but this is what he gets for only giving me the bare minimum of information and not contacting me for three weeks.
Marked. Part II: Becoming Noah Baxter Page 5
