by Linda Howard
The ridiculousness of that thought so entertained her that she chuckled out loud in the darkness. Ah, hell; she wasn’t sleeping, at least not until she calmed down some, so she might as well get up and do what she could to get ready for the taco bar tomorrow. She checked the time, saw it was almost one-thirty a.m., and changed that “tomorrow” to “today!” What on earth had possessed her to invite everyone to her little condo?
Oh, well; she’d get to know the wives, mainly because everyone would practically be sitting on top of each other. And as her mom always said, it wasn’t the surroundings, it was the company. And the food. She couldn’t stretch her condo and make it bigger, but she could make sure the food was both fun and good.
And thank God, because the event was right on top of her, and that gave her something else to focus on; otherwise, she’d have lain in bed and wallowed in fury and self-pity all night long. As it was, she got up and muttered irritably to herself the whole time she cleaned the condo. After all, it was one-freaking-thirty in the morning—now two in the morning—and she was cleaning instead of sleeping, and it was all Levi Butcher’s fault, damn his black heart and eyes and every other part.
She wanted everyone who came to have a great time and spend the next day telling Levi all about it. And she might even indulge in a little PDA with Donnelly . . . Brian . . . no, that wouldn’t be fair to him, not when she knew there’d be no romantic relationship with him, ever. Damn.
She went back to bed at four and was so tired she slept like a rock for all of three hours. After months of getting up early, her body evidently thought that was what it was supposed to do. Supposedly the guys had perfected what they called the “combat nap,” so they could grab a quick nap whenever they needed it, but that wasn’t something they’d taught her yet.
Because there would be kids—and men, even if the kids were left with babysitters—she made a big sheet cake with her mother’s special chocolate frosting. She got fancy and made another batch of frosting, colored some of it red and some green, and piped some roses and leaves onto the cake. Baking was something she enjoyed, and she was the only one of three daughters to have inherited her mother’s touch with cakes. Then to make the kids laugh, she piped some big red lips and a tongue sticking out, right in the middle of the cake. There—something for everyone. She would have added teeth, but she didn’t know the ages of the kids and she didn’t want to scare them.
She’d told everyone to be there at six, but she was dressed—such as it was, in jeans and sneakers and a lightweight sweatshirt—at five-thirty, because she didn’t trust the guys not to show up early. They were guys, after all. “I must be psychic,” she said smugly, when the doorbell rang at exactly five-thirty-eight.
After a peek through the peephole, she opened the door to Jelly and Crutch. “Hi. Did y’all come together?”
“Naw, we stopped dating a year ago,” Crutch said, then laughed at his own joke. “We always have our own wheels, and our gear, in case we get called out on a mission.”
“I’ll have to do that, too,” she said in dawning realization. She was on the brink of full membership on the team. She’d been so engrossed in training she hadn’t thought it through to all the ways, big and small, that her life would change.
“Yep.” Jelly put his hands on his hips and looked around. “Nice place.”
It wasn’t, not really. For starters, it was an upstairs unit, which wasn’t ideal. It was on the small side. Her furniture tended more toward comfy than stylish. But they were bachelors, so what did they know? Some framed prints on the walls, a rug or two, window treatments other than plain blinds, and the place likely seemed almost luxurious to them. Oh—and clean. Clean went a long way.
“Glad y’all come could. Can I get you something to drink?”
“You have any beer?” Crutch asked, looking less than hopeful.
“Beer, soft drinks, bottled water, fruit juice for the kids. Come on into the kitchen.” She’d stocked some popular brands—Bud, Coors, Corona—and had them all iced down in a cooler. She’d barely gotten the beers opened and in their hands before the doorbell rang again. Donnelly stood in the small entrance alcove, a six-pack of beer in his hand.
“I didn’t know if you’d have enough,” he said, holding up the beer.
“Thanks. Want to take it to the kitchen and put it on ice? Crutch and Jelly are already here.”
“Cool.” From his eager look, she thought he was looking forward to hanging with some of the team guys. None of the other team leaders had followed Levi’s lead and involved themselves in their training, so she was the only one who so far had had any real interaction with them.
Only a minute behind Donnelly was Snake, with Ailani and their three kids, ages seven, five, and two—boy, girl, boy. Ailani held a dripping umbrella, and Snake held the two-year-old with a firm grip around the kid’s legs, which was a good thing because the toddler had thrown himself backward and was hanging head down, shrieking. Jina laughed; all of a sudden, the noise felt like home.
“Ailani, Jina,” Snake said in brief introduction. The decibel level from the upside-down kid went up ten points, and he shifted his grip until he was holding his son by both ankles.
“Don’t drop him,” Ailani warned and gave Jina a polite smile. “It’s nice to meet you. Thanks for inviting us, though I’m not sure you knew what you were getting into.”
“I did,” Jina reassured her. “I’m the middle one of five kids, so to me family means a lot of people and noise.” Ailani struck her as somewhat reserved, maybe a little tired and not exactly pleased to be there, so she didn’t overdo the friendliness. “Let me take everyone’s coats, and the umbrella. Drinks in the kitchen, Crutch and Jelly and Brian are already in there.”
“Who’s Brian?” Snake asked as he passed her.
“My date. He’s assigned to Kodak’s team.”
“He is? I can tell him a thing or three about Kodak.”
Next was Trapper, then Voodoo, who for some reason seemed to be wildly popular with Snake’s two oldest kids. There was no accounting for taste, especially at their ages. Boom and his wife, Terisa, were last, with a gap-toothed eight-year-old boy and a big-eyed three-year-old girl who was so cute as she clutched Boom’s leg and peeped around it that Jina couldn’t help squatting down and trying to entice her to talk—a useless effort, because she merely shook her head and clutched Boom’s leg even tighter.
“Her name is Mia. She’ll warm up in a while, and then you’ll regret trying to get her to talk.” Terisa smiled, but her eyes were even more tired than Ailani’s and she was in scrubs, which meant she’d either met Boom and the kids here or they’d been so pressed for time she hadn’t taken the time to change. “Thanks for inviting us; saved me from ordering another pizza.”
Jina couldn’t help shooting a quick look at Boom, who narrowed his eyes at her in warning. Terisa caught the look. “What?” she demanded suspiciously, sending her own narrow-eyed look at Boom. “Have you been throwing off on my cooking again?”
“No,” he said with absolute honesty and beat a path for the kitchen, ignoring the snorting noise Terisa made at his back.
With two tired wives and a bunch of men who were attacking the beer, Jina deemed that the sooner she got food in everyone, the better. She had the taco beef keeping warm in two slow-cookers, and all the other components had been chopped and diced and were ready to set out. Within fifteen minutes, everyone had tacos except the two youngest kids, and she’d had the foresight to get chicken nuggets for them.
Snake’s toddler had stopped shrieking to run around the condo with a chicken nugget clutched in each hand, yelling, “Chee! Chee!” at his mother.
Ailani gave Jina a harassed look. “Sorry. Do you have any cheese other than the shredded? He’s a cheese hound.”
“I do,” Jina said, and got a bag of cubed cheese from the fridge. The cubed cheese evidently called to all the kids, and before she knew it the bag was empty, but the toddler was quiet and happy.
Once everyone had food and drink, the noise level dropped dramatically. The guys were in the kitchen, either seated at her small table or standing with their food on the counters; Donnelly seemed to be having the time of his life. Jina and the other two women claimed the living room where the kids were on the floor pillows, which they thought was great fun. Jina got her own taco and drink and settled on the floor kind of in the middle of the kids, so she could keep an eye on them and give their mothers a break. “I’m glad you could all make it,” she said. “I know it was kind of last minute.”
“No way we were going to pass up a chance to finally meet Babe,” Terisa said, her tone neutral.
Yeah, there was some sticky ground to cover. Jina made a face. “Ace saddled me with that name. It isn’t my favorite, so of course no way would they change it.”
Ailani looked around, as if just now noticing there was someone missing. “Where is Ace? Normally he’d charge through a minefield to get to food.”
“He said he couldn’t make it. Maybe he already had a date.” Except he could have used that as an excuse and hadn’t bothered. Instead he’d slapped her down like smashing a fly with a flyswatter. Under the circumstances, she was proud her tone was nonchalant.
“Have you been seeing Brian very long?” Terisa asked.
“Not all that long.” She wasn’t going to lie, but neither was she going to be specific. “We worked in the same department before we got reassigned to this project. Seeing each other while we’re both in training has been a real challenge.”
“What exactly are you doing? Unless that’s classified, of course.”
“Basically I’ll be providing additional surveillance on-site. Covering their butts,” she added. She put her taco down and blew out a breath. “I’m already having nightmares about maybe missing something and one of them gets hurt.” Or worse. But she didn’t say that, because the reality of what could happen was something they lived with every day. Just like a military wife, or a cop’s or fireman’s wife, they knew that any day could be the day their man didn’t come home.
Ailani glanced toward the kitchen. The condo had a fairly open design, so she could see almost all the guys. She watched them for a moment, her expression saying without words that she, too, had nightmares. “They’re a tight-knit group; I imagine all the teams are, have to be. How are you fitting in?”
Jina made a face and rocked her hand back and forth. “They weren’t happy to be saddled with the only woman,” she said quietly, not wanting the guys to hear. “For my part sometimes I feel so choked on testosterone I want to run screaming down the road. Other than a checkout clerk or my mom, I think y’all may be the only women I’ve talked to in months. I’ve been training such long hours I haven’t been able to make any time for my friends, and they’ve stopped asking. It’s a wonder I’m sane.”
Terisa chuckled at that, and her tone warmed a little. “And here I thought they’d be falling all over themselves making things easier for you.”
That was so genuinely funny that Jina hooted. “They fall all over themselves laughing when I face-plant in the mud. And they don’t help me up, either.”
The doorbell rang again. Surprised, Jina started to set her food aside and lever herself up from the floor. Donnelly had just stepped out of the kitchen and he said, “I’ll get it,” winking at her as he went past. That was perfect, not only the wink, but him acting as kinda-host, as if he was accustomed to being here. She admired his sharpness. But who was doing the ringing now? She not only didn’t think the kids had been all that loud, but she knew for certain her downstairs neighbors were out for the night; they were a young couple who went out with their friends every Saturday night. She began getting up, anyway, because whatever had come to her door was likely some problem she’d need to handle.
Donnelly opened the door and Levi stood there, rain glistening on his dark hair, his big frame filling the doorway. Jina had been enjoying herself—not ha-ha great time, but nice enough—but at the sight of him the bottom dropped out of her stomach and cold dread spilled in, crowding out pleasure. “Hey,” Donnelly said, stepping back for Levi to enter, because of course he recognized him.
The room immediately felt suffocating and small, with Levi taking up all the space. He wore a battered brown leather jacket that was spattered with rain across his shoulders, faded jeans, and scarred boots, the first time she’d ever seen him in anything other than fatigue pants and T-shirts. Come to think of it, this was the first time she’d seen any of the guys—other than Donnelly—in civvies, but she hadn’t really noticed with them. With Levi, she was sharply and, unfortunately, aware of everything.
Because it would look odd if she didn’t speak to him, she said, “Hi. Thought you couldn’t make it.” Then she tilted up her water bottle and took a couple of swallows, unable to think of anything else to say.
“Turns out I could.” His dark eyes were as expressionless as always. “Hi, ladies and munchkins.” There was a chorus of welcomes.
“Plenty of food and beer in the kitchen,” Donnelly said, his easy manner bridging what might have been an uncomfortable silence from her.
Levi shed his jacket and hung it on the hall tree beside the door, followed Donnelly to the kitchen. As he passed by her Jina felt the weight of his gaze, but she didn’t look up. What was he doing here? He’d made it plain he didn’t want to associate with her in any social sense at all.
She couldn’t think of any scenario that would have prompted him to show up, because the one thing she didn’t expect from him was that he would change his mind. Not only that, even if he did, she hadn’t changed hers. Even if she couldn’t quite nail down exactly what he thought of her—not good enough? slutty? stupid?—she knew how she felt, and “angry” didn’t begin to cover it. Even worse, she knew she’d have to suck it up and swallow that anger, because that was the only way she could continue on the team.
The seven-and eight-year-old boys finished their tacos and, being young boys, immediately started looking for something to do. They dashed into the kitchen, and in short order found the balcony, which was accessed through sliding doors in the kitchen, and cold damp air swept through the condo. Knowing exactly what had happened, Terisa called, “Marcus!”
“I’m on it,” Boom said.
“I didn’t know Boom’s name was Marcus,” Jina commented.
“I think I’m the only one who calls him that now.”
The three smallest kids somehow knew something was afoot, and in a flash they were gone, leaving behind juice boxes and a few chicken nuggets. The two-year-old was amazingly fast, darting past Ailani’s outstretched hand. “Eric!” Ailani called. “Catch him.”
“On it!” Snake called.
Terisa and Ailani remained in their seats, taking their time with their meals. Ailani sent Jina a smile. “There are eight big men in there,” she said, “and just five kids. They can handle it. We don’t get the chance to hand the kids off all that often, so I’m staying right here.”
The noise from the kitchen was just short of an uproar, with kids shrieking for some reason, and orders being barked in a distinctly military manner. Jina scooped up some guacamole and munched while she relished the relative quiet of her small living room. She had missed being with other women. With the guys she usually felt as if she had to act tough—okay, so she didn’t actually do it, but she felt as if she should. But the training was so physically demanding that she had to make a big effort to do something simple like painting her toenails, and wearing makeup had gone by the wayside. All she wanted was fast and easy, and at the end of the day she was happy to just be relatively clean.
For tonight, she liked leaving her hair loose instead of pulling it back in either a braid or a ponytail, liked sitting and talking with people who didn’t stink of sweat and dirt. Thinking that made her realize how much she missed her mom and sisters, all her family, and that turned her thoughts to the upcoming holidays. Thanksgiving was just a week away, and her mom had sounded annoyed d
uring their last phone call when Jina couldn’t give her a definite answer about going home.
“How are holidays handled?” she asked. “I just now realized none of the guys have said anything. Do they usually get to spend holidays at home?”
“Sometimes yes, sometimes no,” Ailani replied. She settled back on the sofa, her face relaxing as the piercing shrieks from her youngest turned into giggles. “There’s no way to plan because we can’t predict what might happen that calls them away. It is what it is. During the summer vacation, I take the kids to Hawaii to see my folks, and that’s a nice break from the heat and humidity here.”
Jina laughed. “Hawaii? Yes, that’s definitely what I’d call a nice break.”
“Where’s your home?” Terisa asked. “You’re definitely southern.”
There was no mistaking that, not with her accent. “South Georgia.”
“Are you going home for Thanksgiving? This will likely be your last chance for a while, because you’ll finish training soon and then heaven only knows where you’ll be.”
Evidently Boom had told Terisa that jump training was her last phase, and then she’d join the team full-time, which was more than any of them had told her.
“She can’t go home until she finishes jump training,” said Levi from the kitchen, proving that he was keeping track of conversation in both rooms.
“You won’t be doing training on Thanksgiving,” Terisa retorted, raising her voice to make sure he heard her. “Marcus won’t, anyway.”
There was a rumble of laughter from the kitchen. “Guess you got your orders,” Voodoo said.
“No argument from me. I like Thanksgiving.” Boom stuck his head around the corner and winked at his wife.
“I like this,” Ailani announced out of the blue. “Us in the living room, and the men in the kitchen. Usually it’s the other way around. I could get used to this.” She settled back against the cushion with a blissful smile on her face. “After dealing with clients, some days the last thing I want to do is see another kitchen.”
