“There is one thing. Henry left his Elmo on Kitchener Avenue. I should go get it for him. In case he wakes up and wants it.”
“We could get it for you,” Ben offered. “Or I can give you a ride to get it yourself if you want to get away from here for a bit.”
After a moment’s hesitation, Veronica nodded. “Okay, if we can make it a quick trip. I should grab a shower while I’m at it. I’m a friggin’ dirt-bag.”
“Good idea,” Samantha agreed. “And we’ll be back again with Henry before you know it. Come on, let’s go.”
***
When Ben dropped them off at Cash and Darlene’s house, he promised he would return within the hour to bring them back to the Janeway. As he drove away, Samantha managed to persuade Veronica to have a bite to eat.
“You go have your shower while I rustle up something.” She browsed the contents of the fridge. “There are some leftovers here I can warm up.”
“Could you scramble a couple of eggs? I don’t have the stomach for much more than that.”
“Okay,” Samantha said, pulling out the egg carton and container of milk and placing them next to the stove. While the eggs cooked in the pan, she remembered how Veronica favoured cheese on them. Finding a wedge of cheddar in the fridge door, she grated a fine layer of it over the scrambled eggs, then set to work making a pot of French vanilla coffee for the two of them. She remembered Veronica liking the specialty flavour every now and then.
She heard the click and the swoosh of the front door opening. Sticking her head out through the kitchen door, she cursed under her breath. Her mother had come home.
“Is Ronnie here with you?” Darlene asked with a tired voice while removing her jacket.
“She’s in the shower. Please, Momma, don’t upset her any more than she is already. I finally talked her into eating something.” Samantha grew apprehensive Veronica might change her mind and leave, with Darlene there.
Sure enough, when Veronica emerged from the bathroom wrapped in a towel and saw her mother sitting at the computer, she shouted an obscenity. “I should’ve known it was a mistake to come here,” she grumbled. “Momma, I can barely stand the sight of you. You could screw up an entire nation.” She swore again before she made a U-turn down the hall.
“Stay out here,” Samantha ordered Darlene, before running after her sister.
“Could I borrow some clean clothes from you?” Veronica asked. Standing in front of Samantha’s bedroom mirror, she yanked a comb through her wet hair.
Samantha moved to her dresser and pulled open her underwear and sock drawer. “Here, help yourself.” Going to her closet, she tossed a few tops and a pair of khakis on the bed. “These okay?”
Veronica didn’t answer, her attention hijacked by the crayon-coloured picture of a cartoon dinosaur, taped to the wall. She moved toward it, touched it, and let out a pitiful whimper.
“He gave that to me last week,” Samantha said, moving to stand beside her. “He asked me to tear it out of his colouring book and hang it there.”
“Sam, why couldn’t I protect him from this?” Tears coursed down her sister’s cheeks. “Why couldn’t I be a better mother?”
“It wasn’t your fault.”
“I should’ve known better than to trust Momma with him. With everything I know about that woman, I had to be plain crazy to put my trust in her.”
“But how could you predict something like this? It was a horrible, horrible accident.” Samantha crossed the room and closed the door.
“An accident that should never have happened, though. I shouldn’t have allowed for the possibility of it, knowing what I know. She didn’t protect me, and now I didn’t protect him. My innocent little boy.”
Didn’t protect her? “What are you hinting at, Ron?”
“You don’t know what an awful mother she is. Was.”
A cold, hard ball of foreboding formed in Samantha’s stomach. “Why? What else did she do?”
“Oh, for the love of God. Forget it, you don’t want to hear about it.” Veronica sank down on the bed, wiping away her tears with the edge of the bath towel. “Take my word for it.”
“No way! I think I have a right to know what this is about. She’s my mother too.”
Veronica wrung her hands in her lap. “It’s pointless, really. It happened so long ago.”
“Why are you protecting her after hinting she did something? Come on! Out with it!”
Her sister’s face lost its maturity then, as if her memory had hurled her back into the past against her will and she had no power to stop it. She stared straight ahead at the bedroom wall in resignation, her features vacant and still as death.
A chill passed through Samantha.
“It wasn’t what Momma did. More like what she neglected to do.”
“Please tell me what you’re talking about!”
Without blinking, Veronica drew a long breath, then allowed the rush of words to fall from her lips. “She didn’t do anything to stop it. You’d think she would’ve had some sort of inkling it was happening and put an end to it, but she didn’t. She should have protected me like a mother is supposed to. Why didn’t she?”
“Ronnie! What happened?”
“Merely a kid. A small girl. And he made me feel bad and dirty.”
The blood drained from Samantha’s cheeks. “Who?” she whispered.
“He said if I didn’t do it or if I told another soul, I’d regret it.”
“Who? Someone messed with you?” She sat down on the bed next to her trembling sister. With caution, she placed her hand on top of Veronica’s to give her the reassurance to keep going.
“Our Pop. Poppy Rose.”
Samantha gasped. “Oh, no! What did he do to you? How old were you?”
Veronica cried afresh. Between sobs, she forced out the words, her gaze downcast. “We were little girls. It happened many times, while I was around six and seven years old. Before he started drinking heavily, when Nana used to babysit us at her house. During a television program, when we were alone. Nana would be out in the vegetable garden or busy in the kitchen, and I guess you were already gone to bed. Although I remember it happening in the daytime too, while you played outside or you and Nana went somewhere.”
“Ronnie, I’m so sorry. You must have been horrified. Terrified! You never told anyone? How—?”
Veronica drew another deep, quivering breath. “He was usually quick about it. He’d get me up close against him, on his lap in his big chair in front of the television. He’d put his hand under my nightgown or dress or whatever I had on. Then he’d rub himself against me until, well…”
Samantha cringed with revulsion, her insides turning over at the thought. Back then and all this time, she hadn’t had the slightest suspicion what Veronica had gone through. Though Samantha had always maintained a general wariness in her grandfather’s company, she thought it a by-product of his drinking. An old memory, nearly repressed, flashed through her mind.
A game of Hide and Go Seek. But with one important alteration: you had to kiss when you were found. Their grandfather slowly counting to ten, then coming to find them in their hiding places. Discovering little Sammie peeking out from behind the wardrobe in her grandparents’ bedroom, and pulling her close for the kiss. The sour breath smelling of hard liquor. The crush of his mouth on hers, his teeth pressing and grinding against her closed lips. She never thought to tell anyone or even question it. To a small child, it was just another of her grandfather’s peculiarities.
No one else could have known what he had done with Veronica either. “But why didn’t you tell Nana? Or Momma or Daddy?”
“I wanted to tell. To make him stop! But—”
They both fell quiet when they heard a moan on the other side of the bedroom door. Samantha strode over and pulled it open. Darlene stood there, leaning against the wall, her face contorted in anguish.
“You heard it all, didn’t you?” Samantha asked her.
Darlene stared past he
r. “Ronnie, I had no idea. I can’t believe this!”
“You think I invented this shit? Jeez, he used to say that! If I told, everyone would think I made the whole thing up!”
“That goddamn monster…” Darlene reached for Veronica, but she shrank away, scooping up the clothes on the bed. Clutching the bath towel around her, she forced her way past her mother and escaped to the bathroom.
Darlene ran after her. “Veronica, my precious girl,” she said through the locked door. “I swear to you I didn’t know, but I would’ve believed you if you had told me. And I guarantee you, I would’ve put a stop to it, supposing I had to kill the old bastard. I can barely take it in, his going after you when you were so young. I was too late. You have to know what I’m saying is true!”
“I don’t know anything anymore,” Veronica mumbled through the door.
Confused by their mother’s words, Samantha’s forehead puckered. She was too late? What the hell was Momma hinting at?
Darlene’s knees buckled. She collapsed in a heap on the hall floor, bawling, her voice hoarse. “How could he do it? My poor sweet girl…”
“Are you gonna be alright, Ronnie?” Samantha called.
The bathroom door swung open and Veronica stormed out, dressed in Samantha’s clothes. “Get up off the floor, Momma.”
The phone shrilled in the kitchen.
Veronica ran to answer it on the second ring. After listening intently for a minute, her blotchy countenance broke into a smile. “He's awake!” she cried out, her voice cracking. “My baby's awake and they think he's going to be okay.” She let her sister hold her then, her shoulders racking up and down with deep, shuddering sobs. Samantha felt the tension, along with the tears, pouring out of her.
“Thanks be to heaven,” she whispered into Veronica's damp hair. Over her shoulder, she smiled with relief at Darlene, letting her own tears go. “And thank God for miracles.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
“There are no secrets that time does not reveal.”
― Jean Racine, Britannicus
Several hours later, the staff moved Henry out of the ICU. They transferred him to a room with one older boy who had rust-orange hair and a bridge of freckles across his nose. A doctor with long hair and a friendly smile came to check on Henry while Samantha and Veronica were still with him. She introduced herself as Dr. Rubin, a pediatrician for the medicine ward.
“He's quite the little trooper,” she said, examining his chart. “How are you feeling, Henry?”
“Hungry!” he answered brightly, eying the other patient, who sat up in his bed, eating a generous bowl of strawberry ice cream.
They all laughed. “Is he allowed to eat now?” Veronica asked.
Dr. Rubin nodded and said ice cream would be fine. Samantha volunteered to go and get a dish for him. Walking out of the ward, she met Darlene and Cash waiting outside. Ben still waited there too.
Her mother sat on the edge of her chair, her eyes unblinking and hopeful. “Do you think she'll let me see him?” Deep worry lines creased her forehead.
She looked pathetic, Samantha thought, realizing Darlene's trials had just begun. “I'll ask her when I get his ice cream.” But Veronica stuck to her former position on the matter and refused. Samantha returned to them, reminding them it was suppertime. She suggested they go home, and they agreed.
“Here,” Darlene said. “Cash brought this in for Henry.” In her outstretched hand, she held her grandson’s beloved Elmo. “Veronica forgot it again, with all the excitement. Maybe it will help him sleep better tonight. Oh, and tell her I already called her father and told him the good news.”
Samantha took the doll, thanked her and glanced around as Darlene and Cash left. She wondered about Ben. Assuming he had also gone home, she went back inside her nephew’s ward.
With Veronica stationed at his bedside, Samantha presented the toy to a grateful Henry, tucking it under the sheet next to him. Kissing him on the cheek, she gave him a hug around the shoulders while he ate his ice cream. The child was sleepy, which Dr. Rubin said they had anticipated, but otherwise he had been deemed none the worse for the entire, disturbing incident. Veronica told Samantha she planned to stay at the hospital again tonight, and that the doctor assured her he could go home in a day or two if his recovery continued as predicted. She wanted to check with the other specialists in the morning to make sure there were no other tests, first.
Later, before Samantha said her goodbyes, Veronica whispered in her ear. “Doesn't Ben want to see him?” she asked. “I'm amazed he hasn’t shown up here with a battalion of lawyers.”
“Ronnie, he isn’t filing for custody anymore.”
Her sister fell silent for a moment. “Finally grew an actual conscience, did he?”
“I'll fill you in later, if it’s all the same to you.” She looked pointedly at Henry, blew him a kiss and left.
When she exited the elevator onto the first floor, she found Ben near the huge aquarium, chatting with an older man. Buoyed with relief that he’d waited all this time, she went to him.
“I thought you had gone.”
“You think I would’ve left you alone to get a taxi?”
“No, I guess not,” she said with a shy smile.
Driving out of the Janeway parking lot, Ben asked her if she was in a hurry to go home.
“Not really. Why?”
“I want to show you something. It's in Mount Pearl.” His eyebrows arched mysteriously.
“Okay, you twisted my arm,” she said without hesitation, making him laugh. She smiled to herself, gazing out the passenger window at the darkening sky over the Boulevard and the moon rising over Quidi Vidi Lake.
It had warmed up since yesterday. The snow that had fallen on the city during the blizzard was melting quickly, as it often did in the spring, the resulting water rushing along through the street gutters and down the drains. Samantha’s stomach growled from hunger. But it had turned into a beautiful evening, and she felt so wound up with happiness over her nephew's recovery, the idea of going home and facing Darlene again didn’t hold a lick of charm.
And she had a renewed friendship with Ben Swift. Although he might have promised himself to another, she filled with gratitude for that small miracle as well. Samantha decided to push aside her trepidations and sniff out the true status of his romantic life.
“Do you mind if I ask you a question?”
“Try me,” he said.
“Is it true what I heard, that you’re dating someone in Halifax?”
“Oh! You heard about Cherise? You sure you want to hear more?”
Samantha swallowed, bracing herself. “Sure I’m sure. That’s why I asked.”
“Well, you already knew I’d been diagnosed with clinical depression, right?” He fixed his full attention on the road as he drove, one hand on the steering wheel, the other resting on the gear shift between them.
“I gathered as much from your father’s reports to Momma, yes. And there was your, um, behaviour in those days.”
“Then you might also appreciate that, for the longest time, I didn’t have a friend to call my own, let alone a girlfriend. My choice. It was hard to be around anyone, to be honest. Anyway, when my pelvis and leg healed enough from the physio to get around half-decent on crutches, the psychiatrist who treated me at the hospital suggested I try group therapy.”
“Did you go?”
“I tried to get out of it, but with my old man’s urging, I eventually agreed. And at first, I thought the whole idea sucked. A motley bunch of miserable souls sitting around in a circle, telling their pathetic sob stories. After a while, though, and as painful as it was, and still is, I found talking about what happened with my mother really helped.”
“I'm glad.”
“Then I met this girl Cherise. She had also joined the group, and I guess, because of the stuff we had in common, we hit it off.”
Samantha nodded, wondering, but afraid of what he would say next. Were they serious? Did he l
ove her? “She suffered from depression as well?”
“She’s battled anxiety and depression most of her life. And on top of that, she’s recovering from bulimia. She’s a dancer, so her weight has always been an issue for her.”
“What sort of dancer?”
“Ballet. When she was eleven, she auditioned and got accepted into the National Ballet School training program in Toronto. But no matter how much she exercised and dieted, she could never reach their so-called ideal weight. Imagine you are five foot seven and you’re told that one hundred and eight pounds is too heavy.”
“Holy cow! That sounds insane!” With those guidelines, what would that make her? A blimp? “So, she’s finished with dancing?”
“She had to come home to her folks in Halifax and get treatment. She’s doing a whole lot better now, and that was lucky for me too.”
“Because you found each other.” Samantha stated it as a fact.
“Being around her and talking together helped pull me out of my funk and get me back on my feet again,” Ben said, his expression sober and thoughtful. “Samantha, I fully admit I owe Cherise a lot. I don’t know if I would be here with you today, if it hadn’t been for her.”
Was that what he’d meant this morning at the café, of things working out when you least expect it?
Heart sinking, Samantha interrupted him. “Okay, I get the picture. This is none of my business, anyway. I don't know why I asked you something so personal.” She shook her head, forcing out a light laugh. “What is it you wanted to show me?”
They were in Mount Pearl now. Ben glanced over at her and shrugged as he made a sharp left. “All in good time, girl.”
“How much longer are you keeping me in suspense?” she asked.
“Patience isn't a virtue of yours, is it?” he said, tut-tutting. “We’re almost there.”
A few minutes later, they turned into a wide driveway in front of an attractive, well-kept property with an attached two-car garage. He parked behind a tan-coloured SUV. “Come on. This is Aunt Valerie's house. It's in the garage.”
Calmer Secrets: Calmer Girls 2 (Calmer Girls Series) Page 20
