“We shouldn’t be doing this,” she said, jumping to her feet. Pete stood with her.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have kissed you…” Although I’ve wanted to since the day I first laid eyes on you. His eyes, heavy with desire, looked at her lips, they were swollen from their kiss and it just made him want to swallow them up again.
“I’ve got to finish getting the diapers out of the car.” Debra turned to make her haste out of the room. Pete caught her by the arm stopping her retreat, again their contact sent shivers down her spine. How could this man have this effect on me? Darn him!
“I can help.”
“No!” Debra replied too quickly, still trying to catch her breath from their earth shattering kiss. She wanted him, she wanted him badly and the reality of that scared the living daylights out of her. And if she didn’t leave the room immediately she wasn’t sure how her body would betray her next. “It’s okay. I can get it.”
Pete released her arm and silently watched as she escaped.
He bent down and picked up the smiling picture of his wife. “Happy birthday, sweetheart.” Pete touched the frame with two fingers as if he was actually touching his wife’s face. “Please don’t be upset with me if I decide to love again.”
Chapter 29
Roger stiffened when he felt Porsha’s presence in the kitchen. He was sitting at the breakfast table eating a bowl of cereal. He didn’t have to be at work until ten that morning. He’d hoped that she would’ve left to go to work at the salon. She had just returned from seeing the kids onto the bus for school, which Roger still couldn’t believe. She usually let the kids get up when they wanted and if by any chance they got up early enough to make the school bus, they walked out to the street corner themselves. Ever since she made bail a couple weeks ago, she had become the doting mother that Roger – and the kids, never saw her as. He almost convinced himself that she was possibly changed for the better with the case pending over her head. But he knew better than anyone what a wickedly good actress she was.
Her act, he was pretty much convinced of, helped her get some poor sucker to cough up fifty G’s to make her bail the same day her bail was set. He didn’t even want to know what promises she made to get the money. He wondered why the hell she didn’t just leave him and be with the Toms, Dicks and Harrys that always seemed to come to her aide. Why did she insist on torturing him by forcing him to be her husband? She obviously didn’t need him for money. Or sex. Which is why every time he did have momentary insanity and they did roll in the sheets he was sure to double strap to ward off any infections she may have brought home. Even though the sex was great, with her track record he wasn’t going to take any chances. He would not give her the satisfaction of getting him sick with a sexually transmitted disease so she could watch him suffer miserably. Living with her was traumatizing enough.
“Good morning sweetheart,” Porsha walked over and placed a soft kiss on Roger’s forehead. He placed the spoonful of cereal, he was about to place in his mouth, down in the bowl of milk and looked up at her as if she just lost her mind. “What? I can’t give my husband a kiss?” She sat down in the chair across from him. Roger still looked at her as if she was just a figment of his imagination. Her natural hair was two strand twisted and fell at her shoulders. She wore a light pink tank top and a multicolored maxi skirt with wedge sandals. He had to admit to himself that she was beautiful. But the devil came in many disguises.
Roger just watched her, waiting for the real Porsha to make her appearance. Her act always put him on edge because he never knew when she was going to strike. At least when she was Mrs. Bitchy he knew how to deal with her.
“Why didn’t you wait to eat so we could have breakfast together?” Porsha looked down at his bowl of cereal then back up to his face that was still dumbfounded. She admired his handsome face. He always kept his haircut fresh and although he worked as a mechanic, outside of work his physical appearance was always clean instead of looking grimy and greasy.
“Because that’s not something we do,” Roger finally spoke, then resumed eating his cereal.
“Well perhaps we should make it a new habit.” She got up from the table and retrieved a bowl out of the cupboard and a spoon then returned to the table to pour herself some Cheerios as Roger watched her suspiciously. “Pass the milk.” Although she found pleasure in seeing him squirm, he’d gotten under her skin over the course of their relationship, so that even though she could be with other men that could financially support her expensive taste, she enjoyed coming home to Roger. But she would never admit that to him. She loved having the upper hand in their marriage. That was why when she got the M. O. to trap him, she didn’t hesitate in threatening him to do her bidding. She may have been brought up on the bad side of town, but she believed in having a marriage and a happy home for her children – even if it was just a façade.
Roger pushed the carton of milk over to her.
“My new, highly recommended, case winning lawyer assured me that he doesn’t see this case going to trial. Even though I was seen on tape attacking your mistress, there’s no way of knowing for sure that my attack was a direct cause of her death.” There she goes again speaking proper. He finished with his cereal and pushed the bowl aside. “But since there isn’t anyone here that would use my words against me,” she looked up at Roger away from her breakfast. She pinned him with her eyes.
He sat up straighter at her words and looked at her directly.
“My intention was not to kill Carlisha – rather her bastard child.” She watched for his reaction.
Roger’s mouth flew open in shock as he watched the veil of evil cascade over her pretty face. Her eyes looked like the devil’s himself.
“Oh, I take it from the expression on your face you didn’t know that I knew she was pregnant,” Porsha pulled up a spoonful of Cheerios from the bowl and elegantly placed it in her mouth and chewed slowly to allow what she just said to sink into Roger’s thoughts.
“How did you know?” He looked perplexed.
“Hmm, I have my ways. However, what’s interesting about the whole thing is the fact that you told me where she worked. You’ve never come clean about one of your mistresses before.”
“I told you so you could get off my case. You were ranting and raving like a freaking maniac!” He said through gritted teeth.
“How convenient for you. But how I see it is, you wanted me to confront her because you knew I wasn’t going to hesitate to whop her tail! You wanted her to abort that baby.”
“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about Porsha. Don’t try to turn this case on me.” He jumped up from his seat staring down at her.
“Oh please, am I supposed to be afraid of you now?” She looked up at the rage scorching his face at her accusation. He wouldn’t dare lay a hand on her, she knew it and she always used it as her advantage. “Do sit down so we can finish our civilized conversation, dear.” She waved her hand toward his vacant seat.
“I’m not going to sit here and talk about this mess! I was wondering when your good girl act was going to fade.”
“Sweetheart, why are you being so harsh?” She smiled, softly pushing the empty bowl to the side. “Let’s not turn this into an argument. I just want us to have a conversation.”
“Enough of your act Porsha! What the hell kind of role are you playing today? Educated black woman? We both know that you didn’t graduate from high school because you were too busy majoring in BS! So if you’re going to talk to me at least be your got-damn ghetto self that we both know you thrive in being,” Roger exploded. He was tired of her act, tired of walking around on eggshells waiting for her to drop a bomb on him. He walked away from the table and paced back and forth in the kitchen.
Porsha eyed him viciously. “Your little mistress was educated, getting her college degree. I assumed that’s the type you like and with her being dead and all I figured I’ll do you a favor and pretend. But if you prefer me being a bitch – then bitch it is yo
u lying piece of scum!”
Roger laughed, catching Porsha off guard. Even he was surprised by his outburst. But if he had to deal with Dracuella he preferred that it was on familiar grounds. “Better!”
“Whatever!” she snapped. “You set me up. You wanted Carlisha to lose that baby and there’s nothing you could say that could prove otherwise.”
Roger looked at her and with a lazy drawl he added, “You’ve lost your damn mind! You and your ghetto posse went over there looking for a fight. I didn’t make you hit her.”
“Yeah, but you knew I would and you hoped on it you bastard! Why, were you afraid little Miss Educated was going to hit you up for child support? I sure as hell know it wasn’t because you wanted to spare your dear wife’s feelings about the discovery of your bastard seed!” Porsha got up from the chair with her bowl in hand and threw it violently in the sink missing Roger by a few inches.
She continued to dig into his nerve, “I know with all that is happening people are starting to question whether or not you are the father of Carlisha’s baby, which you’ve been smart enough to deny. But perhaps he isn’t your son after all… Besides his new daddy seems to be doing a good job. The child is probably better off not having you in his life.” She drawled, loving every bit of misery it may be causing Roger with her words. She saw a flash of resentment in his eyes.
He shot her a disgusted look. “I don’t know why I put up with you, you’ve made my life a living hell since the day I met you.”
“The feelings mutual,” she cut him off, returning a disgusted grin at him. “And for the record, you never denied that I’m telling the truth about you wanting Carlisha to abort her baby. How do you think the police would take that type of news? Hmmmm?” she crossed her arms across her full breast.
“Well why don’t you call them to find out! But oh wait – you’re the one they’ve accused and have on tape, not me. And you just said you wanted to hurt her so she could lose the baby.”
“You’re right, you’re absolutely right about that.” She was unfazed by his gloating. “But there’s more about your criminal activity that would be of great interest to them, now wouldn’t it?” She laughed as if she was a wicked witch riding on a broom. “You know, I do like how I sound talking all educated and stuff, I may keep this act on for a while.” Porsha turned and stalked out of the kitchen not giving Roger the satisfaction of the last word. She knew he wouldn’t use her words against her. He was weak! All the years he’d allowed her to use him as her pawn and he hadn’t done a darn thing to stop her.
Chapter 30
Debra and Leah’s huge Sunday hats dominated the front row of the pew they were sitting in. Their hats coordinated with their Sunday best attire. Rachel and her dad Noah sat on the pew with them, also adorned in fashionable church attire. Pete was sitting at the end of the row wearing a light gray custom fitted suit with a white dress shirt and coordinating tie and handkerchief, he looked ready to strut the runway. Carl was asleep on his lap wearing a crisp-white baby dedication outfit that Leah bought for him. Pete looked down at the sleeping baby in his arms. His heart swelled with pride. He was having a hard time believing that he was actually starting to enjoy his role in the baby’s life. And on top of that – he was back in church, all for the sleeping baby who was just dedicated to God and had fallen back to sleep after a fit of tears from being awakened by the Pastor who held him up high to present him to the church and give him his blessing.
Pastor Tyreke Braxton was at podium teaching the Word of God. Pastor Tyreke was a tall man, about six feet five inches tall. He dominated the podium with his height as he taught, stretching his long arms every so often to emphasize his points. Pete once greatly admired the man. He truly accepted him as his earthly shepherd and he was a loyal follower of the man of God. But the color of his skin tarnished all the brilliance Pete knew his pastor had. So what if he was a faithful man to his wife, so what if he was knowledgeable of the word of God, so what he’d counselled Pete and Moriah on a few occasions, so what that Pastor Tyreke had prayed for them, blessed their marriage, and so what that he also graciously performed the memorial service for his wife. All Pete saw was the fact that the man was black.
But as he looked down at Carl nestled in his arm, then back up again at Pastor Tyreke, he couldn’t understand how he could love the little bundle of joy and yet despise the Pastor that shared the same racial heritage as the baby.
Shame overwhelmed Pete. He hated the man he had become –and he knew Moriah would hate to know the racist man he’d turned into. How could he allow his grief over losing his wife distort his perception of another human being?
“God instructed us to love one another not like one another, there’s a big difference. To like someone is based solely on conditions, whereas to love someone unconditionally is a selfless act,” Pastor Tyreke spoke breaking Pete’s train of thoughts. “Let’s all read Galatians chapter five verse thirteen to eighteen,” he flipped through his bible. “You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other. So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.”
Pete’s heart quickened after hearing the words in the bible reading. Pastor Tyreke was looking right at him, and Pete swore the man could see the hate in his heart. Could read his thoughts and know that he was a fraud. Know that he no longer trusted in the God he and his wife used to worship together faithfully. Carl stirred in his blissful sleep giving Pete a brief distraction from the microscope he felt he was suddenly under. He felt Rachel glanced over at him where she sat. Pete wanted to get up and leave, but sitting on the front row would draw too much attention to his escape. He looked back up toward the podium after seeing Carl nestled back into a deep sleep and tried to look everywhere but at Pastor Tyreke.
“Are you living by the Spirit today church? Are you loving your brothers and sisters? Despite the wrong they may have done to you, despite the fact that you may not like who they are, despite the color of their skin, or the language they speak or where they came from. Are you truly walking in love?”
Pete’s palms began to sweat as he felt rebuked by every word of Pastor Tyreke. Tears moisten the corners of his eyes as he felt God speaking to his heart and mind. God whom he’d turned his back on since his wife’s death. But Pete felt the presence of God like he’d just been touched. He felt ashamed and repentant. “Forgive me Jesus,” he whispered. His body started to shake, he could no longer control the tears, the deep sorrow that was in the pit of his soul.
Pastor Tyreke ended his teaching with an altar call. Pete didn’t know how he ended up standing at the altar with his hands outstretched toward heaven. He cried like no one else was in the sanctuary. The pain he felt from the loss of his wife, from the death of Carlisha, from the hate that had dominated his heart, from turning his back on the Lord, came out in tears and sobs. “Forgive me Jesus!” Pete cried out. “Forgive me Jesus!”
Debra was now at his side, rubbing his back and silently praying for him. She didn’t know what was happening, but against her will she felt herself falling for the man she had initially despised.
Leah was holding Carl while still sitting on the pew with Noah and Rachel.
Rachel watched her uncle at the altar with tears streaming down her face. Tears of joy. She just knew her Aunt Moriah was doing a praise dance in heaven.
Chapter 31
Ever since their kiss Debra had been avoiding Pete like the plague. She made sure all of their conversations were centered on Carl or other non them topics. Pete had tried to apologi
ze to her again after their kiss weeks ago, but she quickly brushed him off and changed the subject. She didn’t want to talk about it, because then she would have to admit that she wanted the kiss to happen – and more. She was really struggling with her developing feelings for Pete, and she also wondered if he only kissed her because he was feeling sad that day. Was she just a comfort for him at that moment? She really didn’t want to know, because that would make the truth of her feelings for him harder to bear. But for the life of her, she couldn’t stop herself for falling for him. Ever since he had taken on the role of being Carl’s guardian and she had been staying over periodically to assist in the care of the baby, Debra couldn’t help but feel like they were a family, and that feeling only loudly announced the void she had been feeling after her divorce – after not being able to bare children of her own. But her feelings for Pete was more than her filling a void – dammit if she had to truly admit it, she had a thing for him since the first time she rang up his groceries at the store. But her wanting to steer clear of any man made her banish her feelings to the deepest part of her heart – until now.
Debra was sitting on the couch in the living room reading a chapter out of a business text book for one of her summer classes, while she looked up at Carl periodically going back and forth in his swing that was stationed right in front of her. She marveled at how well-mannered he was. He was such a good baby. He didn’t fuss much – only when he was hungry, sleepy or needed a diaper change. He was used to his daily schedule of feeding times, nap times and bed time. Debra wished every day that Carlisha was there to see how well her son was growing. With that thought she suddenly became angry because they had recently found out that nothing was going to happen with the charges against Porsha Smith for causing Carlisha’s death other than a misdemeanor charge with her paying a fine. Debra swore under her breath thinking about Porsha getting off scot-free for her crime. No doubt in her mind did she believed that Porsha’s attack resulted in her friend’s death. But the judges and lawyers or whoever the heck they were saw otherwise. She quickly repented for her dark thoughts of revenge that started to swirl around in her mind. No child should have to live life, especially so young, without their parents.
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