Ravenous

by L. L. Collins

  I hoped I didn’t regret doing this and that I could fend off the sexual tension Porter exuded.

  I paid the taxi, hating I didn’t have a car to leave if things got crazy. I walked up to Porter’s front door, my mind immediately going to the last time—the only time—I stood on this driveway looking up at this beautiful house.

  Not tonight, Raven. Tonight you will be friends. You’ll remember that when Porter studies you like he wants to strip you naked and give you those promised orgasms. You’ll remember how you felt when you had to walk out on Breck sleeping and the guilt you still carry from that. You’ll remember that you can’t want both of them. You need to want neither of them.

  Having steeled myself for what to do, I straightened my back and put a smile on my face. Before I could knock, the door swung open, and I jumped.

  “Raven.” Porter scooped me into his arms and twirled me around, making me laugh despite myself. He slid me down his rock-hard body until my feet touched the ground again. “Thanks for coming.”

  I stepped back, relieved he didn’t start off trying to tempt me into stripping my clothes off and having my way with him. “Well, with a greeting like that, how could I resist?”

  He slung his arm over my shoulders. “Come on in. I have dinner all ready. I hope you’re hungry, because I made a lot!”

  I followed him into the gorgeous modern house, my eyes hurrying to take everything in as we moved deeper inside.

  “I’ll give you the tour later,” Porter said. “Let’s eat.” Before me was the most beautiful kitchen I’d ever seen, with every modern amenity imaginable and counters and cabinets to die for.

  It also smelled heavenly, and right on cue, my stomach growled.

  “I poured some wine, if you’d like some. It pairs well with the chicken marsala I made.” I was glad he didn’t tell me what kind it was or year; I knew next to nothing about things like that. The only kind if wine I ever had was less than five dollars.

  He pulled out my chair for me and I sat, my senses overwhelmed with everything. I wasn’t even sure what I was doing here anymore, because I was so far out of my element it was ridiculous.

  Porter sat a plate in front me before sitting down across the table from me.

  “This looks amazing. Thank you. You didn’t have to do all this for me.”

  He shrugged and grinned at me, the smile that no doubt made panties fall into his hands. “I like to cook when I’m not working a hundred hours or more.” He winked. “I like everything to do with working with my hands, and I’m damn good at it.”

  There was the little arrogant edge Porter had. The one that made me tingle in all the right places. To distract myself from those irritating hormones that threatened to derail my willpower, I lifted my fork and knife and cut a piece of the chicken. The second it touched my taste buds, I groaned as the flavors assuaged my senses. Porter stopped, his fork mid-air and his eyes wide.

  I put my hand over my mouth and laughed. After chewing and swallowing the bite, I smiled at him. Watching me, he hadn’t taken his bite, his piece of chicken still frozen in mid-air. “Sorry. That’s really good.”

  Porter swallowed. “Raven.” His voice was an octave lower and his eyes a shade darker. “I want to talk to you about something.”

  My heart plummeted to my feet, and my stomach twisted. I set my fork down, knowing I wouldn’t take another bite until I knew what he would say. I wanted to take the wine glass and down the alcohol, but I forced myself to wait. I tucked my shaking hands under my legs, waiting for Porter to continue.

  “Okay.” It seemed like he waited for me to say something, but I needed him to hurry and tell me whatever it was because I was seriously panicking.

  He sat back in his chair and laced his fingers together and rested them on the table. He seemed serious, and I didn’t like it. My thoughts went dark. I wondered if there was something wrong with him, or with Breck. They barely knew me, though. He wouldn’t want to talk to me about anything that personal.

  “Stop freaking out.” A small smile played on his lips. He knew me better than I thought.

  I said nothing, not knowing how to respond to him. He made me nervous, and I didn’t know what to expect from him. I started to regret coming here. I should’ve stayed away from him. I needed to stay away from every man with the last name Kingsley. I couldn’t be friends with someone who made me wet the second I saw him and daydream about the things he could do with that dirty mouth…

  “I have a proposition for you.” Porter smiled. He had a proposition.

  I wasn’t sure I liked the sound of that, but I nodded anyway, hoping for him to continue.

  “I want you,” he said. His gaze slid down the part of my body he could see and then back up to gauge my reaction. “You know this. I also know you want my brother, and he wants you. But I have the feeling you are more my kind of girl. By that I mean, I know you’re young and in college. You aren’t considering settling down. But you’re hot as fuck, and I like you.”

  I licked my lips and tried to force my non-existent saliva down my throat. I was rather sure my face was as white as the napkin in my lap.

  “Breathe, Raven.”

  I forced myself to take in a deep breath, my head swimming with what he may be saying.

  “That’s my girl. You seem completely freaked out. Don’t be. This is all good, I promise.”

  “What are you saying, Porter?”

  “I want to spend time with you, but I don’t want anything serious. I like your company, and I want you in my bed. I know you have your little sister, so I’m not asking for you to live here. I’m asking for you to spend a few days a week with me, when I have free time. I want you to accompany me to any hospital events, and be in my bed when I want you.” He paused, and I swore I could hear my heartbeat in my temples. I know you have your little sister. He knew about Chrissy. How the hell does he know about Chrissy? My mind spun with how he knew about her and I couldn’t come up with any feasible reason he would know I had a sister. “I want to pay you what you make at the escort service to only escort me.”

  I sucked in a breath. He wanted me to be his whore. “L-let me get this straight.” My voice shook, and I hated it. “You want to pay me to fuck you.”

  Porter flinched. “No, Raven. You have it all wrong.”

  “How do you know my story? About my sister?” Tears threatened behind my eyes. And to think, I came here wanting to be friends with this man. There wasn’t any way I could do this. Not now, not ever.

  Porter had the decency to appear ashamed. “I called the garage where your car was. I was going to pay for your car repairs, so I told them I was your friend. I said the car was under the name Raven, and the girl looked it up and said, ‘Oh yes, Raven Phillips. Her car wasn’t fixable.’ So then I knew your name, and I did some digging. I’m sorry if that upsets you. I just wanted to know about you, that’s all.”

  I shook my head, anger seeping out of every pore in my body. “I was stupid enough to let you help me and give you my real name. You know I’m just some stupid whore from the wrong side of the tracks, so I should fall at your feet to do whatever you want. I was so stupid, thinking I could trust you to be my friend.” I refused to let the tears fall. I shoved my chair back and threw my napkin on my plate. I turned to walk away when Porter appeared in front of me.

  “Stop.” He touched me on the arm the same way Breck did the day I met him. Brecken. He wouldn’t do this to me. He didn’t see me as a whore that could be paid to be at someone’s beck and call. This was why Porter tried to scare me by saying Breck was a forever kind of guy. This was probably some sort of competition he had with his brother to “win” me. Well, I wouldn’t be won. I wasn’t a fucking prize. “Raven. Listen to me. Please. Don’t leave.”

  My chest heaved with the exertion of holding back the angry tears that burned behind my eyes. I crossed my arms in front of my chest but didn’t move.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you angry by looking into you. Y
ou’re a great woman, Raven. I knew it before, but I know it for sure now. What I’m asking doesn’t have a timeframe. You can be with me for as long as you want. The second you want out, you tell me. I don’t own you, and you have free reign over what we do and don’t do. I just—” He ran his hand through his short hair. “I just want you, but not in the traditional sense. I brought you here to see if you would be interested at all in that type of arrangement. I don’t see it as you being my ‘whore,’ Raven. Not at all. I want us to be friends. I like you. But you know I’m married to my job. I like having someone to have dinner with, to mutually benefit from our physical relationship, and to be social with, but that’s all. It can’t be more. It never would be.” Porter appeared almost sheepish. “I know you get paid well at the service, but if we’re going to be in this arrangement, I don’t want you with other guys. So, I’ll double what you make average a month from there.”

  Double. I clutched my chest at the thought of that much money. It was more money than I could dream of making, since there were only so many hours I was available. I wanted to ask if it meant not being with his brother, too, but I couldn’t make my mouth form the words. I was still too angry to respond to him, but the promise of that much money threw a slight damper on my temper. I was so confused about what his endgame was. He called to pay for my car. He sought me out. He wanted me in his bed, but not anything serious.

  It sounded perfect. But things that sound perfect are usually anything but.

  Then there was the pesky little problem of the feelings I had for his forever brother. The ones I continually tried to deny but were still there.

  “So I go out with you, to dinners or whatever for the hospital or for social gatherings. We ‘mutually benefit from our physical relationship’ whenever you aren’t at work, and I’m not busy with my sister or school. We’re friends with benefits, basically, and you pay me double what I get with Penny. And at any time, I can decide to be done with the arrangement.”

  Porter reached out with one hand and stroked it down my hair. I wanted to flutter my eyes closed at the sensation, but I couldn’t let him affect me. I had to keep my head straight and think rationally. “Yes. You got it.” He brushed my lips with his, and I whimpered against them. “If you agree, I strip you down right now and do what I’ve wanted to since the first night we met.”

  “W-what is that?”

  Instead of answering, Porter put his arms around me and pulled me close. He ran his nose down my neck and then back up, his mouth next to my ear. “I want to taste every inch of this skin. I want to lick your nipples until you beg me for more. I want to put my fingers inside that sweet pussy of yours and lick them clean. I want to lick and suck you until you come on me. Then, I want to fuck you so hard you see stars. I want you to be hoarse from screaming my name and unable to walk from all the orgasms you have.”

  I couldn’t think. The words he spoke sent lust straight to my core and the way his body pressed against mine in all the right places—he knew exactly what he was doing. I closed my eyes against all the sensations and tried to be rational. What he offered wasn’t anything I wasn’t willing to do. I didn’t want to be in a relationship. I did want money to take care of Chrissy and buy a new car.

  I did want Porter as a friend.

  I knew he would rock my world.

  There was no doubt about it.

  Just like that, I pictured Breck as he watched me fall apart under him. I saw the expression on his face when I took the washcloth and cleaned him like he did me, his body wrapped around me as we drifted off to sleep after a night full of passion.

  I. Saw. Breck.

  “Porter.” I stepped back, needing space from my conflicting thoughts.

  “Say yes, Raven.” Porter lifted my hands and kissed both palms. He was good, and he knew it. He was sexy, smooth, and successful.

  “W-what about Breck?” The second the words were out, I gasped and covered my mouth with my hand. Porter watched my reaction, but instead of seeming mad, he grinned. He grinned.

  “Ah, my brother was good, then. I wondered. It’s been a long time since we shared, but we’ve done it before. We can talk to him about it if that’s what you want.”

  I shook my head, trying to wrap my mind around the possibility of getting them both. “Shared?” The word came out like a squeak.

  Porter laughed. “Not the way you’re thinking, more than likely. Not at the same time. I love my brother, but I don’t want to see that. But if you want to see if my brother wants to share by sharing our time with you, I can ask him.”

  I didn’t want that. Not really. My heart cracked for Breck, especially if what Porter said about him was true.

  Porter smirked, continuing when I didn’t answer. “Not sure Breck’s feelings on the subject, but hey, it’s worth asking if that’s what I need to do to get you in my bed.”

  I backed up, confusion jumbling everything in my head. “I need time, Porter. I can’t give you an answer tonight.”

  He nodded. “Okay. I understand. Take all the time you need. Do you want me to talk to Breck?”

  My thoughts and feelings were so jumbled I didn’t know what I wanted. Putting a voice to my fantasy of having both of them made me feel horrible, and I needed to work through what was going on in my head.

  “No. I need to think.”

  Porter nodded. “Can I do one thing to help you with your decision?” He stalked toward me, and I wondered if I really wanted to know what he was about to do.

  He stopped in front of me, his toes touching mine. He bent over so he was closer to my height and gripped the sides of my face. He captured my mouth with his and immediately licked my lips. I opened instantly, my hands gripping his shirt as his tongue licked into my mouth. My knees buckled, and he walked us backward until he pressed me against the wall. His hands moved from my face down my sides until they rested momentarily on my hips. He ground his erection into my stomach, and I groaned. Porter nipped and sucked at my tongue, sending lust directly to my soaked core. I knew exactly what he was doing, yet I couldn’t stop him.

  He reached one hand between my legs and cupped me over my clothes. I knew I was hot and ready for him, but the second his thumb brushed over my clit, I froze. As turned on as I was, I knew I couldn’t let this go further. My head was too full of things I didn’t understand.

  I put my hand on his chest and forced my mouth away from his. “Stop, Porter. I have to go.”

  Porter stopped immediately and rested his forehead against mine. He breathed heavily, and I could still feel the rigid length of him against me. “You do something to me, Raven.” His words immediately took me back to the same sentiment coming out of Breck’s mouth, just not with my real name. “Please think about what I’m saying. We could be so good together.”

  I bit my lip, warring with myself in my head. If I listened to my pulsing sex drive, I would take my clothes off right now and let him follow through on all the promises he made me. I knew he would more than deliver. But something stopped me, and I needed time away from Porter to decide if it was just an attack of conscious or something more. Because not only did he promise pleasure, he promised money. And I needed that more than I needed to fall in love with a man who was way out of my league.

  “I need a cab.” I wanted to go home and crumple on my bed and have a good cry, but I didn’t understand why. I wasn’t sure if it was because I felt like a hooker once again, because I wanted to do it, or because every time I thought about doing it, all I saw was Breck’s face as I walked out of his bedroom.

  Porter nodded. “No need. I’ll drive you home. Let’s go, Raven.”

  Emma whistled. “Holy shit, woman. You really got yourself into it, didn’t you?”

  I nodded, wiping my eyes again with the thousandth tissue. “I don’t know what to do. That’s more money than I could think of earning with Penny. Once school starts again, I’ll never be able to do the number of events to make that. And Porter works all the time, so it wouldn’t be that oft
en.”

  “But something major is holding you back.” Emma knew me better than anyone else in the whole world.

  “Yes.”

  “What is it? Do you not like him?”

  “He’s great. He’s attractive, successful, and is more than likely fantastic in bed. It wouldn’t be a hardship at all.”

  “But…” Emma tapped her finger on her lips. “You aren’t telling me the whole story, are you?”

  I sighed. “His twin brother hired me, too. Remember the beach party I went to?”

  Emma nodded. “He’s the one you slept with.” She put her hand over her mouth. “Oh, shit. He’s the one you were with when your mom died.”

  “Yes.”

  “Okay.” She dragged the word out, as if needing the extra seconds to wrap her mind around it all. “And?”

  I chewed my lip, trying to put into words what the problem was.

  “Oh my God.” Emma bounced on the bed. “You like him.”

  “No,” I said immediately.

  “You do. If you didn’t, this wouldn’t even be an issue. You’re worried if you do this, his brother will find out and won’t want anything to do with you. What happened the night you left his house when Chrissy called you?”

  “I left while he was asleep.” I glanced down at my hands, guilt twisting my stomach into knots.

  “And you haven’t talked to him since?”

  “He doesn’t even know my real name.”

  “Shit.” Emma scooted closer. “Be honest with yourself right now, Raven. It’s just us here. You have feelings for him.”

  “Breck.”

  Emma nodded. “Breck,” she repeated.

  “Porter is his brother,” I said.

  “So you have feelings for Breck.”

  “I can’t.”

  “That doesn’t answer the question, Raven. What you think you shouldn’t versus what you actually feel is what we’re talking about.”

  “Porter said his brother is a forever kind of guy.”

  Emma furrowed her brow. “And?”

  “And I’m definitely not interested in forever. I can’t.”