“Is that a yes?” he whispered in my ear.
“What do you think?” I asked pulling back slightly with a flirty smile on my lips.
He smiled back and his hand moved from between my thighs.
I was disappointed for one moment before I felt him unbutton and unzip my pants. Still looking at me with a naughty smile, he dipped his hand beneath the waistband of my underwear and touched my hot, wet center.
I moaned loudly once again as he said.
“I guess I will take that as a yes.”
Then he kissed me.
The rest of the night was spent in the bedroom, his body towering over mine, pressing into me, giving me more pleasure than I had ever felt before, I realized that this was the only man I would ever want to spend my life with.
We were married the next day.
Now, I guess you could say we don’t exactly live a traditional life. Our names are different. I had to start all over again in terms of becoming a doctor. But, in the end, that is not such a terrible loss.
What’s important is that Heath and I are together. As long as that’s true, nothing will be able to stand in our way.
THE END
Bonus Story 6/40
Jailbird
Saturday
When we finally made it home, it was late and I was emotionally exhausted and drained. Stopping at my parents’ house on my way home had left me feeling hopeless about an already bleak situation. After all of that running around to get the money together for Jordan’s bail, they tell me that he needs a second co-signer. Something told me that it would be much easier to break him out my damn self than to find another co-signer. I was the only fool stupid enough to co-sign in the first place. He had wanted my mom to co-sign, but I already knew from past experiences that he was barking up the wrong tree. My mom hadn’t even co-signed for my cousin, and he still sat in prison to this very day.
By the time I pulled into the parking lot of my apartment complex, the lot was full, as usual at this hour and I had to park further away from the front entrance. I parked and cut off the car lights. I took the keys out of the ignition and opened the front door. My one-year-old son was still awake despite the fact that it was a little after midnight. I was currently working on getting him back on a schedule, but that meant getting myself back on some sort of schedule as well. I slung the diaper bag over my shoulder, unbuckled the straps and freed my son from his car seat. Once I had everything, I shut and locked the car and began walking across the parking lot toward the front door.
Standing outside, a young woman smoked a cigarette and danced to music that only she could hear through her headphones. She smiled at me and I smiled back. At least someone’s having a goodnight, I thought as I passed her. I flashed my pass card to get into the building and headed toward the elevators. There was already one on the first floor so when I pressed the up arrow, the elevator doors opened immediately. I stepped inside and pressed the button for the second floor. When we got out of the elevator, I carried the two bags and my son all the way down the long hallway until we got to our door. Balancing him and the bags, I unlocked the door and let us in, not putting him down until the door was closed behind us. The apartment was just as we had left it. The Christmas tree was still lit like a bright beacon of hope in a corner of the living room. I turned on the other lights as I walked through the apartment.
I let my mom know that we had made it home safely and then proceeded to remove my sons coat and shoes, as well as my own. I could feel relief flood my body. Even though my spirits were low, it did feel good to be home. I tried to put Jordan’s incarceration out of my mind, at least for the time being, so that I could do what I needed to do for myself and my son. The serenity prayer flashed through my head as I realized that I had done all that I could and now I needed to accept that the rest was in God’s hands. It was a fucked up situation, but it was what it was. I was sad that Jordan was locked up but I was angry that he had put his freedom on the line like this. The last time that I had spoken to him, he had told me that if we didn’t bail him out this weekend, they would raise his bail to $200,000 on Monday. If they raised his bail, it would be close to impossible for us to get up the money to get him out. So, what did we do? We, the people who loved and cared about him, and didn’t want to see him rotting in a jail cell, scraped together what little money we had, money that was meant for bills, or Christmas, and put it together and came up with enough money to bail him out. And after all of that, when I thought that he just might be able to come home with me, I find out that he needed a second co-signer. On top of that, even if we did find another cosigner, the bail bond wouldn’t be open again until Monday. So basically, he was fucked.
It hurt my head and heart just thinking about it. I headed into the bathroom to run my son a bath. My son followed me into the bathroom, watching me as I began to run the bathwater and then stopped, turning it off and leaving the bathroom, so that I could get the bed ready for after his bath. I was just about to change the bed sheets when I heard a splash and a thud. I raced back to the bathroom to find my son looking just as shocked as I was, fully dressed and soaking wet in the bathtub. I checked to make sure that he was alright before removing all of his clothes. The tub had drained slowly, so there had been a little puddle still in there that he thought was worth pursuing. Once he was stripped down to a full diaper that desperately needed changing, I began filling the tub once more. While the tub was filling up, I picked him up and left the bathroom to turn up the heat. I wanted the apartment to be nice and toasty for when he got out of the tub. Once the apartment was heating up, I grabbed some bath toys and we returned to the bathroom.
The tub was nice and full by now so I put my son down and removed his full diaper. Jordan Jr., or JJ as everyone called him, began tossing the bath toys one by one into the bath water. I checked the temperature of the water to make sure that it wasn’t too hot, before picking him up and placing him in the tub. As I bathed him, my thoughts returned to his father. Maybe this was a sign from God. Maybe God removed Jordan from my life so that I could get my life together. Maybe we both needed to be apart, so that we could get our priorities in order and grow as people, so that we could both be better parents to our son. I felt guilty trying to look on the bright side. I felt guilty trying to imagine a bright side that did not include Jordan. The guilt was quickly replaced by anger. It was his fault that he was in there! Life was all about choices and his own bad decisions had led to this, had put him in this predicament. I guess, most of all, I was hurt. I was hurt that JJ and I weren’t Jordan’s top priority. That he had once again put stupid shit over us, but I wasn’t going to dwell on it. I was going to continue handling my business and making sure that JJ and I were good, just as I had been doing.
Despite everything that had happened, I wanted Jordan to be free, I missed him and hated sleeping without him. After JJ was clean, I let him play in the tub for a little while as I watched him. Eventually, I decided to join him in the tub, so that I could bathe as well. JJ liked playing in the tub and kept trying to float on his back. When he got a little older and I got a little more money, I would enroll him in swimming lessons. I strongly believed in the importance of knowing how to swim, especially as children. I figured that it would be best to start him young so that he could begin having a strong bond with water at an early age. When JJ kept standing up in the tub, I decided that it was time for us to get out. I gathered him into my arms, stood up, and wrapped a towel around us before heading out of the bathroom and into the bedroom.
With the towel, I dried us both off. Once we were dry, I moisturized our skin with coconut oil. Before bed, I liked to read to JJ so we snuggled up with a book while he breastfed. Soon, he was fast asleep in my arms. I lay him down and turned off the light. Now, I could relax and read a book by myself. I opened up an e-book on my tablet that I had started reading the day before and tried to read it to get my mind off of Jordan, but that was harder than I thought. Despite all that had transpired in the
last few days, I wanted him home. Silent tears that I didn’t even know I had been holding on to, began spilling out of the corners of my eyes and onto the pillow. I missed Jordan and began reminiscing about how he would bake me cookies and how we would cuddle. I wanted my man home!
Just then, his friend, Amy, text me. I had told her that he needed a co-signer and she was just texting me back. She said that she didn’t know he had needed more than one, and that she would co-sign for him. I replied that I was afraid it might be too late. They were raising his bail on the upcoming Monday. She assured me that since he had already posted bail, they couldn’t raise it. My heart lifted and I felt myself smiling as hope returned. I whispered a thousand thank yous and felt bad for ever giving up hope. I would never give up hope again, hope was all we had. I rolled over and kissed JJ on the cheek, excited at the thought of Jordan coming home. Even though JJ’s warm tan complexion was closer to my reddish brown one, he looked just like his father. He had his father’s cool gray eyes, blonde hair and freckles.
Amy was such a good friend to Jordan. We had never been so close and at some points I did not trust her and hated for Jordan to be around her. She was always there for Jordan, even when I wasn’t and I couldn’t help but respect that. She was fiercely loyal and had Jordan’s back. When he got locked up, we had come together, calling the bail bondsman and getting all of the money together. I would have to remember this later when I felt like hating her. After all that Jordan and I had been through, I was slow to trust the other women in Jordan’s life, but Amy had proved to be trustworthy and I found myself actually starting to like her. His sister, Sasha, had also helped with Jordan’s bail money, his father had also. I just hoped that when Jordan got through this, he realized how much we all really did care about him. I hoped that he would care about himself more and not put himself in situations that could potentially jeopardize is future. There were a lot of people who believed in him and wanted to see him succeed. But we couldn’t want it more than he wanted it for himself.
I felt myself getting sleepy and set an alarm before turning off my tablet. I was determined to start my day early tomorrow. I snuggled up under the covers with my baby, wearing a smile. My mood had taken a turn for the better and with new found hope, I could finally go to sleep feeling and believing that everything was going to be alright.
*****
Sunday
Hope feels good to the soul. It gives existence, purpose and meaning. It gives the living, reason to live. I awoke the next day bright and early, with a heart full of hope. I woke up in the morning feeling thankful. Thankful to be alive and thankful for all of my many blessings. Those feelings quickly dissipated as my mind turned to Amy. Although I had tried to convince myself that she was just a really good friend to Jordan, something just didn’t sit right about their relationship. I tried to do yoga, I tried to read, but I couldn’t concentrate. Something was up and I knew it, I just didn’t know how to go about finding out. Something told me to text her, but I didn’t know what to say. JJ was still asleep and I couldn’t go back to sleep until I got to the bottom of these feelings
I started thinking about all that Jordan and I had been through and Amy’s role throughout it all. If I kicked him out, he would go to her for a place to stay. She bought him stuff, fed him. They shared clothes. And now this. She had put money on his bail and was even willing to co-sign. She was going above and beyond for my man. Whenever I brought it up, Jordan quickly dismissed it, claiming that they were old friends that Amy was like a sister to him, his family. I wanted so badly to believe him, but something in my gut said otherwise, and I trusted my gut. I had been through too much with Jordan to be in some fucked up love triangle. If he needed Amy so fucking much then he should be with her! And that’s exactly what I told her. I pulled out my phone and texted Amy the exact words.
Me: I believe that you and Jordan belong together.
Amy texted back. Why would you say that?
My first thought was that, she didn’t deny it, so I kept pushing. I texted her back.
Me: I have my reasons. I feel like I’m just in the way and I’d rather just remove myself from the equation than to continue to stand in the way of the inevitable.
Amy replied. Don’t think that you’re in the way. Jordan loves you. I do care about him, but he belongs with his family.
Me: Do you love Jordan?
Me: And please, do not spare my feelings. You should know by now that all I ever want is the truth.
Me: Under different circumstances, would you be with Jordan?
She took some time texting back and I began to feel cold and nauseous.
Amy: I know you want the truth. I just feel uneasy about it because I don’t want to put myself in the middle of anything.
Me: Just be honest with me Amy. I’ll still co-sign for him. At the end of the day, he’s still my son’s father, but I just need to know where everybody stands so that we can all move on and be happy.
Me: To be honest, you haven’t denied anything yet so that already tells me all that I need to know. At this point, I’m just looking for clarity.
Amy: Yea, I do love Jordan, but I don’t want my feelings for him to be the reason you two break up. I probably would try to be with him if circumstances were different, but I’m not going to try to take him from his family. He wants to be with you and your son. That is where his heart is.
Me: Does he know how you feel about him? How do you know that his heart is with me? Every time he’s in trouble, he runs to you and when he wants to turn up, it’s with you.
Amy: I think that he has a feeling that I do, but I don’t express my feelings very well, so he might not know. I know that he loves you because you’re probably his longest relationship. He would have gave up by now if he didn’t love you.
Me: Have you guys been together physically? I know that you probably really don’t want to answer that but that is probably the most important question because if the answer is yes, then he cannot continue to have sex with both of us.
I held my breath as I waited for her to respond.
Amy: No we haven’t. That wouldn’t be right.
Relief flooded over my body. Although, finding out that Amy did, in fact, have feelings for Jordan tore me up inside. I was happy to know that he had not physically cheated on me. I did feel betrayed though, but also, I was proud of myself for how well I had handled everything, and for trusting my gut. My gut was correct. I just wished that it wasn’t. Amy assured me that she would still be co-signing for Jordan, and I put my phone down.
I was a cocktail of emotions. I still felt cheated and most of all, deceived by Jordan. I didn’t think for a minute that he didn’t know that Amy had feelings for him. What hurt the most was that whenever I brought up how uncomfortable I was with his relationship with Amy, he had made me feel like I was overreacting and being insecure. I told myself that I was done crying, but that was the saddest lie. The whole situation literally made me sick to my stomach. I was done. At this point, I couldn’t care less if Jordan got out, or not. Let Amy help him get out and if he didn’t, let Amy hold his ass down. Maybe this was the universe trying to send me a message. Maybe me and Jordan weren’t meant to be together. Maybe he should be with Amy. If that was the case, then I didn’t need his ass anyway and I was done with this whole situation entirely. Jordan and Amy could go straight to hell for all I cared.
It was like all of the hope I had felt before had been drained from my body. The more I thought about it, the angrier I became. He was lucky that the bail bondsman was closed on Sundays, because I was thinking about going up there and getting my money back TODAY. I was also thinking about cursing Amy out and beating her the fuck up. The rage was short lived and soon dissolved into depression. I was hurt and humiliated. I couldn’t believe that he had made a fool out of me again. After a caramel frappe from McDonalds, the strength returned. For one, I was leaving that deadbeat in jail. Let Amy figure out how to get him out. I felt like a hero. I was cleaning up the
streets. Jordan was right where he belonged, in a cage with the other animals. Good riddance. I was in pain now, but I would move on and with Jordan safely locked away, the healing process would go much smoother. I started thinking about all that he had put me through and felt this was exactly what he deserved. At least in jail, he would know that he had a place to sleep and something to eat because he was never living with me again.
*****
Monday
I woke up feeling uneasy. A part of me wanted to go down to the bail bonds office and get a refund, but the idea of doing that made my stomach hurt terribly so I knew that was not the solution. I decided I would not sabotage Jordan, but I also wanted this nightmare to be over. I took out my phone and texted Amy.
Me” I’m not going to drive you. I’m done with this whole situation.
After I sent the text, I put my phone away and proceeded to get my bed sheets and blankets ready to be washed. I was going to do laundry. I desperately needed to cleanse my space. Right when I was about to leave my apartment to go to the laundry room down the hall, Amy text me back.
Amy: What happened? I’m so confused. What’s going on?
I smirked. I don’t negotiate with side pieces, is what I thought, but didn’t say.
Instead, I ignored the message, and took my son and my basket of dirty linen and headed to the laundry room. While I was loading the clothes in the machines, I realized that I only had enough money on my laundry card to wash and dry my sheets and blankets. I would need to load more money onto the card, to do more laundry and I definitely needed to wash me and the baby’s clothes. Unfortunately, the reload machine only took money in variations of fives. On the bright side, I needed to leave to pick up diapers for the baby anyway, so I would make change while I was out getting diapers. I felt tense and very much unlike myself. I didn’t want to feel this way. I waited until the load was done washing and transferred it into the dryer, then headed to the store. Before I drove off, I texted Amy back.
In the Arms of the Dragon Princes Page 22
