“Should you be on that leg?” I reminded him pointedly.
“It’s not hurting. I’m only going to make some spaghetti sauce and put in this ravioli you bought. I can’t believe you finally found it!” It was a specialty kind, with a cured ham and cheese filling. It was his favorite and I’d had a hard time finding it for a while.
“Be sure to put olives in this time.” I went back to staring out of the window.
“Hey, Mark, let me show you how I make ravioli,” Eric called out to his friend. He knew what it was like to be left without parents too. He knew Mark was going to have a rough time and that he’d need somebody to help him get through it.
I knew Eric was determined to do for Mark what I had done for him. With both of us there for him, I knew Mark would be okay, it would just take time.
“You just spoon it out of a can, into a bowl, and into the microwave, don’t you?” Mark said as he came into the kitchen, his look of confusion making my lips twitch.
“No, man! That’s terrible stuff! Here, chop these onions.” Eric started directing Mark around the kitchen and I let their conversation fall away behind me. They were both going to be fine.
It was Grant I was worried about.
He’d been discharged from the hospital not long before Eric was and he’d hidden in the house ever since. He still couldn’t move his legs. I had a feeling it was far more than just that.
He’d started to change before he’d even left the hospital. He was withdrawing, and on that last day, he wouldn’t even let me in the room. He’d told his guards to not let anyone in. I’d scoffed at them and told them he’d let me in. They’d done as I asked and told him it was me. I’d expected them to give me an apologetic grin and to open the door but they’d come out grim-faced and said I couldn’t go in.
David had tried to reassure me that Grant just needed time, space until he could come to grips with being shot, with almost dying.
I sighed and focused on the boys once more. I’d give Grant space for now because I didn’t know how else to help him.
“You two are just making a mess!” I laughed when I saw onion peels, bell pepper husks, and tomato seeds from freshly cut tomatoes all over the counter.
“It is a mess that shows how much I love you, sis!” Eric grinned at me, that cheeky little grin that brought to mind his little boy face once again.
I would always have him, no matter what. That helped a lot as I dealt with Grant’s rejection.
“That love better extend to cleaning up afterward!” I picked up a sponge and started to wipe everything down.
“You know the rules, Toni. The cook only cooks, the eater does the dishes!” Eric grinned at Mark this time, bringing him into the joke.
I raised an eyebrow at both of them. “Now look, if you two are just going to join forces against me we’re going to have to have a talk. I can’t win when it’s two on one!”
Eric burst out laughing and I glared at him.
“Get used to it!” I knew he was making a joke at my expense, even if Mark didn’t, and I wanted to box his ears. It was funny though!
“Ha, men! They’re all the same!”
“Not all of us, Toni.” Mark’s voice was quiet, as though afraid of overstepping his bounds.
“You’re right, Mark. You do all seem to have an affinity for avoiding dish washing though.” I gave him an easy grin, letting him know it was alright to join in on the fun.
I wanted him to feel included, loved, and like he had people he could come to. He’d had a much harder life than I realized and now I just wanted him to give him what all kids deserve. A family.
“You know Dad’s never going to get out, right? He almost killed a cop. And killed those two men. It’s all on tape.”
“Have you heard anything about the money? Maybe we can use some of that to help get your mom back.”
“Not yet, but the lawyer is trying. I don’t have a lot of hope for either. Mom was caught with a lot of drugs on her. I don’t think the money will be released either, not until they figure out what’s drug money and what isn’t.”
“We’ll take care of you, either way, Mark. Don’t worry.” I shouldn’t have brought that up, he was worried about money now.
“I’ll get a job, Toni, I won’t let you take care of me. You don’t deserve that. Not after what Dad put you both through.” He hung his head, standing beside my little brother, and my heart broke for him.
“You didn’t have anything to do with any of that, Mark. It’ll be good to have some help, but only if you want to. Worry about school first, yourself. We’ll find a way to make it all work.”
“Thanks, Toni.” He went back to chopping garlic, his face relieved.
“I’m going to get some work done in my room. Call me when it’s ready, fellas.” I left them, chatting away about some new music video they’d watched, and wished my own life were as easy to sort out.
David
“Grant, you can’t just keep rejecting her like this! What’s wrong with you, mate? You’re really hurting her and you know how vulnerable she is!”
Grant took his pain pills and turned back to the television screen, back to the zombie movie he was watching.
I’d been trying to get him to agree to go over and see her and Eric. Eric had texted me earlier, asked me if we wanted to come eat lunch with them, but Grant had flat out refused to even look at that chair unless he needed to go to the bathroom since we’d got home.
I left him in his room and went in to heat up some fried chicken in a box. I’d been given some time off to help Grant out in his first week home, even though a nurse had arranged to come and check on him once a day. Later, if he still wasn’t walking, he’d get a more permanent helper that would come in during the day and one in the evenings, if he wanted.
I went into the living room and poured myself some scotch. Settling into the couch, I couldn’t help but remember the one night we’d had with Toni. That night had changed everything, it had changed me. If I could just get Grant to remember that, we could move forward. He wasn’t going to be paralyzed forever, but I knew the problem went deeper than that.
He’d almost lost his life. It was changing him, making him afraid. I hated seeing that.
I slugged the scotch back and looked at the clock on the wall. I needed Toni. I needed to touch her, to smell her, to taste her, to make the world disappear.
I’d have to do it without Grant, and I wasn’t sure that was right. We were supposed to all be doing this together. Grant was the one bailing on us though, right?
Fuck it, I thought, a moment of anger taking over. If he wants to leave us behind, we’ll have to take comfort where we can.
I hated myself for thinking that way, but couldn’t stop it.
Either I went to her and we gave each other comfort, or I’d sit here and get drunk. Getting drunk never solved much.
I took a shower, put on some sweats, and checked on Grant. He was awake.
“I’m going to see, Toni. She needs us both. If you aren’t willing to let her in then I’m going to her. Do you want to come with me?”
“No.” Simple, direct, definitive. He was letting her go.
“That’s cold, mate. It really is.” I knew he was in a bad way, that didn’t mean he had to treat her like dirt though.
I didn’t even say goodbye to him; I just left. He had his phone, drinks, snacks, and whatever else he might need.
She answered the door, despite the lateness of the hour, with a smile of welcome. “Hey, babe.”
“Hi. May I come in?” I waited, my breath making streams of fog in the air.
“You know it.” She took my hand and we went to her bedroom. I hadn’t seen it before and didn’t pay much attention to it now. I only saw her.
Instead of letting her lead me to the bed, though, I pulled her up against me as I shut her bedroom door.
“I need you,” I whispered into her hair as I found the top of her jeans with nimble fingers. “I have to feel you, h
ot and wet for me.”
I nuzzled her hair away from her neck as my fingers slid inside her panties and ran smoothly down her silky skin.
“Are you wet for me, Toni?” I nipped at the spot below her ear, a move that made her shiver before she gasped my name as I sucked at the spot.
My body had responded to her the moment I saw her in the doorway, wearing time-worn jeans and an old sweatshirt, her hair falling around her shoulders in soft curls. She’d never been sexier and now, now I just wanted to make her mine.
“David...” she started to whisper, but my questing fingers found her clit and her words cut off. “Oh!”
Her hips surged back into mine, crushing my cock. It was pain, it was pleasure. It felt so fucking good!
I didn’t think we’d make it to the bed.
“Where are Eric and Mark?” I demanded, my fingers steadily strumming at the small button of flesh beneath my fingers. I squeezed it with two fingers flattened against each side and plucked at it gently. I stole her ability to speak. She cried out a sound of ultimate pleasure as her body began to dance against mine. “So responsive, but you haven’t given me an answer, Toni.”
I wanted to tease her, to have her in a mess of wanting more.
I pulled my fingers from her pants and turned our bodies. She now faced the door, her palms flat by each side of her head.
“Tell me where Eric and Mark are, or I’ll stop touching you.” Only my lips touched her, just to the side of her ear.
“They’re, David, please, don’t stop!” She gasped, she swallowed, she thrust back into me, but she didn’t answer me.
“I asked you a question, Toni. Where are the boys?” I let one hand fall to her hip so I could hold her steady for the next bit.
With deliberate intent, I kicked my pants off and slid myself between her thighs. “If you want this inside of you, baby, you’re going to have to talk.”
She moaned in delight, her thighs clamped around me, and I laughed low and quiet. I tossed my shirt away and pushed myself into her while I pulled her own shirt up to reveal a bare back. No bra.
Mmm, I did like that.
I cupped her breasts and pulled her back to me, my feet spread wide for balance. I loved that she’d decided to play this game with me.
I felt a fluttering touch on the very tip of my dick, a touch that made me hiss in anticipation. “We’re going to play that game, are we?”
“Give me what I want.” Her long slim fingers pressed into me, pressed me into her denim-covered center.
“Give me what I want, Toni.” I thrust into her fingers and her grip tightened.
“Fuck me.” The heaviness of her breathing, the way she whispered the words, told me they weren’t going to hear us, otherwise she’d have controlled herself more.
“Where are they?” She was going to crack, she was too close not to. I nipped at her neck again, in just the right spot.
“They’re watching a movie in the living room, they won’t hear a thing. Now please, David, please just fuck me?” Her words were almost a sobbed plea. I couldn’t help but grin in triumph.
“Not yet, princess.” She cried her frustration, but I did push her pants down her legs. “You have to trust me, Toni. You don’t want this to end yet.”
I went to my knees, pushing the soft denim away. My hands slid down the back of her thighs, down the back of her knees, to remove the pants from her legs. When I looked up, I was face to face with the round globes of her perfect ass. Round, tight, and enough to fill my hands.
I pushed on her bottom a little, my hands flat against her, before I slid my hand deep between her thighs.
“Oh yes, Toni, you’re wet, my love.” My fingers slipped into her silky fluids before I opened her folds and slid one finger deep inside. “So very wet, baby. Is that all just for me?”
“Just for you, David.”
The way she sighed my name made my stomach tighten and my dick throb. I pulled her hips back and she followed. My mouth found her center, wet and ready for my tongue. I pressed down on her back, making her push her hips out further until I could slide my tongue over her throbbing little clit.
“David...” Fuck, the way she said my name made me crazy for her!
With my left hand, I found her opening and slid two fingers into her, stretching her for what was to come later.
She rode my fingers, my tongue, with a sinuous dance of desire, her perfect little sighs telling me she was just on the edge, almost there.
I wanted to slam into her, I wanted to fuck her until there was only us, and nothing else, but I held back, I controlled myself, until I felt the first clench of her walls.
“David!” She gasped once more.
I would tell her later what it did to me when she gasped out my name like that as she came. Right now, I had to send her over the edge. I sucked at her, hard, tight, and hot, and she fell into the abyss with a low keen. Her back arched as her muscles twisted inside of her, telling me I’d done it just right. I always do.
My balls were aching to unload into her by the time she came down, by the time her gasps turned to breaths, and my dick wanted to know once more what it was like to be wrapped in her liquid velvet. I let her catch her breath before I stood.
She blinked at me as I picked her up and carried her to the bed.
“But you haven’t...” she said, her beautiful eyes upset.
“Who said we were done, Toni?” I gave her that grin that I knew melted her heart and sat her down on the bed. “Open for me.”
She sprawled back on the threadbare comforter and let her legs fall open. She opened herself to me and I wanted to be between those damp thighs once more. I wanted to push her into insanity until she was high on her orgasms, but later. When that look of love in her eyes was permanent, when Grant had sorted himself out and we could both work together to drive her that far.
I grasped my shaft as I moved toward her, that light touch almost too much. With my jaw clamped, I slid into her, bare and raw. It felt so fucking good!
I had to pause as I sank in, to the very last inch. I held my breath, my toes curled into the dark blue carpet on her floor. I counted to ten before I opened my eyes and looked down into hers.
Two twin sapphires stared up at me with love, trust, and a burning desire. I knew mine were as light as hers were dark. Women have said my eyes look like glaciers when I’m aroused. I don’t know, I just know that hers were as dark as night and I wanted to drown in them. There against the worn comforter she looked like a siren on a bed of silk. She deserved so much more than that old thing she slept under and I made a promise to myself then that from now on, Toni would have only what she deserved, if I had to work myself into the ground to get it.
“Are you alright?” She asked, concern clouding her eyes for a moment.
“Just looking at you, princess. You take my breath away.” Her hand came up as I leaned down, and she caressed my bottom lip.
“You think you don’t do that to me?” Her question was accompanied by a squeeze of her walls that nearly undid me.
“Don’t make me come yet, Toni, please. I just want to... fuck, I just want you.” I knew it was true then, that the emotions plaguing me since I’d laid eyes on her that first time were real. It wasn’t desire alone, it wasn’t the heat of the moment. I loved her bravery, her fire, the way she fought for those she loved.
I loved how gentle she was, while also so fucking fierce. I loved her curiosity, her willingness to do things that scared her, and most of all, I loved how she looked at me. Like I was her reason for life.
If she looked at Grant the same way as he fucked into her, well, we were both set for life.
I began to move then, my toes digging into the carpet, and she planted her heels in the mattress so she could match my pace.
On my elbows, I watched her with each thrust of my dick into her, the way her eyes rolled into the back of her head before they came back to mine, the way her mouth fell open as she concentrated on my length invadi
ng her. If it felt as good to have me sliding into her as it felt to do the sliding, then we were both in heaven.
I started slow but upped the pace as her hips worked me, and I soon found Toni had set the pace. Fast, hard, and deep as she took me on the ride of my life.
“Come with me, David. Come with me.” Her nails bit into my ass as her walls clamped tightly around my throbbing dick.
“I can’t say no to you.” I fell over the edge as my body emptied into hers.
I was her. She was me. Then we were one in the darkness.
15
Grant
“She’s going to leave us both, Grant. Not just you, or me, both of us. You have to talk to her!”
I stared at myself in the mirror. I was walking again, but with a cane. I was slowly coming back to myself, but fear still held me in its grip.
Snow was on the ground and there were Christmas trees in the windows of all the houses when David took me out for my physical therapy appointments. I’d missed the magic of Halloween, the gorging of Thanksgiving, and now I was staring down the barrel of a Christmas without the woman I loved. Maybe permanently, if what David said was true.
“What do you mean?” I turned away from the bathroom mirror and waited. I could shave the beard off later.
“She was offered a job at Newport News. Better pay, better stories, more recognition. I think she’s going to take it.”
“Why would she leave New Hope? You’re here.” I paced out of the bathroom and down to the living room.
“Yeah,” he said as he followed. “I’m here and that’s not what she signed up for. She signed up for both of us.”
“That’s crazy, you’re man enough for both of us. Why does she need us both?” I couldn’t look him in the eye as I said it. It hurt too much to push them both away like this, but I had to.
“She wants us both, that’s why! Toni deserves to get what she wants, not to be totally rejected like some piece of trash. You’re really starting to piss me off, mate. You could at least give me a reason!”
“I don’t have to do anything.” I know I sounded like a two-year-old, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t tell him about the fear.
Dirty Cops Next Door Page 13
