by A'zayler
“You got some big balls.”
“Because I can carry them muthafuckas.” Quay looked Don square in the eye. “You want her, do her right and I’ll fall back. You slip up, she’s mine. Period.”
Don balled his fists up and held his head back a little. He and Quay traded murderous glares, but neither of them said anything further. Don would let Quay have this round, but he wouldn’t hesitate to end his life if the opportunity presented itself.
Don held his closed fist out toward Quay. “Respect.”
Quay pressed his fist against Don’s and moved past him and left the small room. Seconds later, the guard came in and shackled Don’s wrists again. They walked together to Don’s room. Once he was back in the comfort of his cell he hit the floor to do some push-ups. He needed to do something to get his mind together. He needed to pick what side of this he wanted to be on. He was either going to be all in or all out. Kill them all, kill them and keep Danna, or do neither and just take his vengeful heart and bruised ego elsewhere to live out the rest of his days.
13
How bad could it be?
Slow melodic tunes of R&B played throughout the speaker of Cannon’s phone as she and Danna sat on the bleachers of the local basketball court. The sun was blazing as always, and the sweat pouring from Ezra and his teammates was mouthwatering. Cannon and Danna had been practically drooling over the men as they moved around the court shirtless.
It was Saturday evening and the perfect way to end a long day. Danna had been cooking and cleaning her house all day and she was dog tired. The moment Cannon mentioned meeting Ezra and some of his friends at the basketball court so they could work out, she’d tagged right along. She’d been an isolated mess for the past two weeks, so she figured what was better to break her out of her funk than sexy, single, sweaty men.
“I owe you for this shit here, Cannon,” Danna mumbled as she salivated at the guy who’d just come off the ground to make a jump shot.
“I told you. Every time I feel bad, or something is on my mind all I have to do is look at your brother with no clothes on and bitch, everything is alright in my world.”
Danna turned her nose up and began gagging dramatically. Cannon’s face was bright from her laughter as she pushed Danna’s shoulder playfully.
“He may be your little brother and all, but don’t act like you don’t see how fine Ezra is. You know that nigga is the fucking greatest. Don’t do him.”
“Baby, I ain’t doing nothing surrounding Ezra, and I wish you wouldn’t either.”
“Well I wish you wouldn’t walk around moping every day, but you do it. So,” Cannon nudged Danna’s shoulder.
“Girl, I’m doing my best. I just can’t seem to shake this shit.”
“I empathize with you Danna, I really do because I know what heartbreak feels like, but I also know what happiness feels like too. From the moment you told me about the prison incident, I’ve been wanting to make you move on from Don and just find someone else, but I’ve never been the leave-your-man friend. I’d rather just be a listening ear or shoulder to cry on, but you do need to get yourself together. This crybaby stuff is getting old, sis.”
Danna looked off into the distance. “You’re right. It feels like it’s taking me forever.”
“It feels like forever because you ain’t talking to nobody else. I’ve already told you a million times, if you’d just find somebody else then you would be okay, but no, you don’t listen to me.”
“I do listen. I just don’t know who to talk to. I like grown niggas, not these little ass boys.” Danna motioned toward Ezra’s teammates. “They’re cool to look at, but I need me a man.”
“I feel you on that.” Cannon agreed. “What’s wrong with Quay?”
“Nothing,” Danna’s smile slid across her face. “Everything is right with that nigga. He’s just locked up right now too and I honestly ain’t trying to deal with that.”
Quay had been in the back of Danna’s mind since she left the jail that day, and though she’d written him once, that had been it. She hadn’t executed any other forms of contact, and she was fine with that. Right then she just wanted to give her heart a break. Even if it did speed up at just the thought of Quay.
“You’re in denial, Danna. You like Quay. I don’t care what you say. Every time I bring his name up you be smiling.”
“I do not.”
“Lies,” Cannon told her as Ezra winked at her.
Danna sucked her teeth. “You and him make me sick.”
“If you would check Quay out, then you could get like us instead of hating all the time.”
Danna snickered and shook her head. “Nope. Quay is going to break my heart just like the rest of the men.”
“You won’t know until you try.” Cannon’s light face shone beneath the sun.
Though she was saying it in a joking manner, Danna knew she was serious. Maybe Quay wouldn’t be so bad, at least not while he was in jail. What harm could talking on the phone really do? Fortunately for her, it didn’t take her long to find out.
* * *
“What took you so long to write me?” Quay’s deep voice sounded throughout Danna’s phone speaker.
It was a little after ten o’clock at night and she was lying across her bed smiling too hard for her to be in her room alone. It was a good thing Quay wasn’t there to see the effect that he had on her. Even after so many years, anytime she was near him she felt like a teenager all over again. Whether in person, or over the phone, she was a puddle of water when he was involved. Cannon had been right.
“I don’t know. I guess I was just trying to get my mind right first. What took you so long to call me? I sent you my number days ago.”
“I had to wait until my home boy could get me his burner phone. Can’t be moving too fast up in here. Mess around and get caught with this shit, these niggas will be adding all kinds of time to my books.” Quay released a long breath before resuming their conversation. “But you know I could have helped you get your mind together, right?”
Danna snickered. “I feel you, but nah, you would have only made it worse on me.”
“How? I’m just here to help you, beautiful. No pressure this way.”
Danna flipped over on her stomach and picked up her phone. “That’s what your mouth says, but your presence is something else. You make me feel so childlike.” Danna fiddled with one of her long locs. “Talking to you makes me forget everything.”
The sexy yet soulful chuckle filled her room as Quay’s deep laughter mesmerized her. It had been so long since she’d heard him laugh, she wanted to savor it.
“That’s a good thing. If I make you forget stuff, you should have been rushing to talk to me.” He paused for a minute. “You good on that? How you feeling?”
Danna’s mind went back to the heartbreak that she’d been enduring for too many days to count. Don had really done a number on her with that baby Totiana was pregnant with. It was like everywhere she looked, there was something that reminded her of his betrayal. If it wasn’t Totiana posting pictures of her belly on social media, it was Don’s constant calling.
If she could have it her way, she would just run away for a few weeks until she could find a heart that wasn’t as raggedy as hers was right then. She’d gone against everything Vonetta had taught her and opened up to that nigga, and he had run her right over. She hated the vulnerability she’d shown with him, because it had amounted to nothing more than sad songs and tears.
“I’m straight. It’s fucked up, but it’s not like I didn’t know he was still fucking around with her.”
“You knew about that shit and you let it happen?” Quay’s voice held a hint of shock mixed with disappointment. “Come on now, Danna. I gave you more credit than being one of these dumb block bitches. You too fly for that kind of behavior.”
Danna’s eyes watered because Quay was right. She was too fly for it, and she was lying. She hadn’t known a thing. That betrayal had cut her so deep that it was hard to
keep her tears at bay. Anytime she thought about it her emotions took control. The warm tears cascading down her cheeks right then were proof of her long-lasting pain.
“Danna? Are you crying?” Quay asked. His voice was a lot softer that time. “Ah man, I didn’t mean to upset you. I just don’t like you playing yourself like that.”
Danna sniffed. “I know. Neither do I. I didn’t know.”
Quay sighed. “I figured you didn’t. You’re too savage for that shit. You would have been beat old girl’s ass if you had.”
Danna’s mood heightened again as laughter replaced her tears. “You’re right about that, but that ain’t even what I’m trying to do no more. I don’t want to be in a love that drives me to be somebody I’m not. I’ll fight and whoop ass all day, but I don’t want to do it because my man is fucking off. Then what’s the point? What am I really fighting for?”
The line was quiet, both of them in their own thoughts. Danna could hear the background noise on Quay’s end so she knew he was still there, but she wanted to know what he was thinking.
“Quay?”
“What up?”
“Why you let me stay away from you all this time? Why you ain’t make me yours?”
“Because I shouldn’t have to make you do anything; if you were mine, you would have come willingly. You never came.” Quay said something to someone in his background before directing his attention back to her. “Plus, I knew you was fucking with that old dude. I ain’t the type to get in another man’s way.”
That was news to Danna. She’d thought she’d been as discreet as possible during her little fling with Don. How in the world had Quay known? She and Don had never gone out in public together other than when her entire family was with them. Any other time they were ducked off in his car or at his house. Never at hers, and never in public places.
“You ain’t know shit.” Danna played her surprise off.
“I knew enough to know you were giving my pussy to that old ass man when you should have been giving it to me.”
Danna’s chest sank at the same time that her eyes closed. “Quay, you’re the fucking remedy, baby.”
He was laughing again and making her whole night. “I could be more than that if you’d ever let me.”
“What about Don?”
Quay scoffed. “You’re asking me about that man like I’m supposed to be scared of his ass. You need to be asking that nigga about me. Don manipulates y’all women, I don’t give a fuck about him.”
See, that was that thug shit that Danna loved. If it was one thing that made her panties wet, it was a dominant man. One that didn’t allow nothing or no one to intimidate him, and Quay had been that. From the first time she’d ever seen him putting in work for her father, her girl had been juicing for him ever since. He was fearless and standup about it. He didn’t throw a rock and hide his hand. He owned the things he did.
“He’s not going to cause you any trouble in there?”
“He can try,” Quay’s voice took on a more serious tone. “Listen, baby, I’m not trying to talk about that nigga all night. I have ways to handle that. You just tell me what you want from me. You said I could have a do over, your mind still on that?”
Danna looked up at her ceiling and pondered his statement. She was still in so deep with Don. They hadn’t talked since the day she’d left the prison but they hadn’t officially ended things and the last thing she wanted to do was mess over Quay because she wasn’t ready. He was too real for her to be on some phony shit.
“I don’t know yet, Quay.”
“Cool. Handle your business. I’ll be here when you’re ready, but I ain’t waiting on you.”
Danna’s face frowned. “What you mean you’re not waiting on me?”
“I mean, I’m not Don. I’m not going to lie to you about you being the only one. If you ain’t writing and talking to me somebody else will. I have needs that have to be met, boo. I ain’t about to stand by watching you give your pussy to another nigga while my balls turn blue.”
Why did Danna’s heart break like that? It literally broke into pieces as she listened to Quay talk about giving himself to another woman. Yeah, she really needed to get herself together because she was allowing these niggas to do her too dirty. The old Danna that didn’t love niggas never would have let that shit happen. She needed to shake back, and shake back in a hurry.
“Dan, I ain’t trying to hurt you or nothing like that, I just don’t want to lie to you either. That ain’t me.”
Danna sniffed, but said nothing. She was tired of crying. These niggas had her fucked up. Fuck Don and fuck Quay.
“Danna?”
“What!” she yelled.
“Whoa, calm your ass down. All that yelling is unnecessary. If you’re angry then say so, but don’t be doing all the fucking hollering like I’m not a grown ass man.”
Yes, Daddy check me. Danna’s insides leaped with momentary joy. Quay was her dream come true. She sniffed again trying to get herself together.
“Danna!” He spoke her name so forcefully that she wanted to fall to her knees in front of him and he wasn’t even there.
“Yes?”
“You got you shit together?”
“Yes,” she mumbled.
“That’s better. Now talk to me like you’ve got the sense that I know you have.”
A giggle escaped her tight throat. “I hate you.”
“No, you don’t. You love this shit that’s why you got your fucking act together. I ain’t Don. You ain’t about to come up here to this damn jail showing your ass on me.”
He and Danna both laughed.
“I be seeing you yelling and clowning on that man, wishing it was me. I’d hem you up so fast, you wouldn’t dare be that defiant if I was your man.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Niggas love to say what they would and wouldn’t take. I’d clown with your ass too, and slap you if you tried to buck.”
Quay’s laughter was so sexy as he chuckled at her. He laughed so hard that Danna had to join in.
“Danna, I’d beat your ass.”
“Good. It needs to be beat.”
“Word? I got that for you.”
Danna rolled back over onto her stomach and picked up one of her locs. She was smiling bashfully as she nodded as if Quay could see her.
“I hope you do because I need it.”
“Come get it then. You know where I’m at.”
Danna’s mouth went against everything her body was telling her. “I can’t do that right now.”
Quay’s cleared his throat. “I know you can’t. It’s cool though, I’ll just let another one of my li’l freaks keep it warm until you’re ready.”
“I hate you. Bye.” Danna picked her phone up about to hang it up.
“I wish you would hang up this phone in my face.”
Stopped in her tracks, Danna just held her phone in her hand afraid to hang it up. Quay had already warned her that he wasn’t the type of man that let his women run over him. She didn’t want to test him just yet.
“If you don’t want that to go on, then change it. But as long as you’re up here giving this nigga your body, I’ma do the same.”
“I ain’t giving that nigga shit,” she spoke defiantly.
“Well then I won’t either. The ball is in your court, Danna. I’ve been wanting you for too long to keep playing these little kid games. You think I want to watch you walk in and out of here doing all the shit for another man that you should be doing for me? Fuck no. I wanted to drag your ass out of that damn closet the day I saw you in there.” Quay sucked his teeth. “In there with all your ass and shit out waiting on that old ass nigga.” He fumed and Danna could finally hear the feelings that he had for her. His anger made them loud and clear. “I’m telling you now, you do that shit again, I’ma be the one fucking you. Either that or I’m knocking that nigga the fuck out, so don’t try me Danna, because I’ll do it for real.”
The smile on her face would remain for days as she
replayed this conversation in her head. Quay was the man she’d been begging God for. Everything about him was what she liked. How had she allowed herself to look over him for Don? She shook her head and chopped it up to her inexperience, because the two were drastically different, and in ways that mattered.
“I’m sorry, Quay.”
“You should be.”
The line was quiet as they listened to one another breathe. Danna didn’t know what he was doing but she was busy picking out their wedding colors in her head. Quay was going to be her husband whether he knew it or not.
“Dan?”
“What’s up, baby?” Her eyes were closed as she listened to his voice.
“Hurry up and stop playing with me, aight?”
“I am.”
“When?”
“When you tell me you love me,” she joked.
“I love you,” he told her in the most earnest voice he’d ever used with her.
Danna’s eyes squeezed tighter. “Let’s get married.”
“The day I get out.”
Her smile got bigger. “You play so much.”
“I ain’t playing. I’ll probably need to take a shower and shit but I’ll marry you whenever and wherever.”
“Oh yeah, I forgot you love me.” Her giggles brought about some of his own.
“Shid, I do. I’ll be even more in love once you let me get some of that loving you got. I know it’s hitting right.”
“And you would be correct.”
Quay cursed under his breath and Danna smiled even harder.
“Let me make you cum real quick, Danna. I need to hear you moan my name.”
Danna sat up on the bed, unsure of what he expected her to do. She had an idea but she’d never done that before and didn’t know if she wanted to start with him. Quay would probably laugh at her or say something silly that would make her feel crazy.
“You with it?”
“Who’s in the room with you?”
“My cellmate, but don’t worry about him. Worry about me and how my mouth gon’ feel kissing your pussy.”
