by Rye Hart
“Do you still—?”
“No. I quit cold turkey once the kids came to live with me. Though I can’t say I don’t struggle with it. When things get out of hand and stressful with the kids, I can almost taste them on my tongue,” I said.
“Is that why you hired a nanny?” she asked.
“Yep. I needed help going from no kids to two. Even when I was engaged, I never planned on having kids. This was an entirely new adventure for me when they first showed up.”
“Wait, you were engaged?” she asked.
I nodded. “I was. Her name was Elise. She left me in my toughest times of addiction. Then I found out that she had an affair with my business partner – a man I once considered a friend. Ted threw me under the bus and it was decided that I wasn’t fit for the role so I was told to leave with a severance. The whole experience did a number on me.”
“Hence the cabin in the mountains of Montana,” Melanie said.
“Yep. I tried repeatedly to kick the pills but it wasn’t until the kids came to live with me that I was finally ready to deal with life clean.”
“I think it’s an amazing thing that you are doing. They could have ended up in foster care with families that didn’t care about them,” she said, placing her small hand over mine.
“It was hard, taking them in. I have more than enough means to care for them financially, but emotionally it’s been a battle. Liam looks so much like my brother, and Hadley looks like her mother. As much as I love them, it hurts a little to look at them and be reminded of all I’ve lost. But when you stumbled up onto the porch during that storm and stayed with us, I saw how you were with the kids. How much they warmed to you and how much they wanted you around. It was like I could see life in a whole new light again, just with you here.”
“They’re good kids, Evan. You’re doing a wonderful job with them,” she said.
“I don’t feel like I am most days.”
“And no new parent does. But as long as they are happy, healthy, and loved, you are doing it right.”
I chuckled at her as I shook my head.
“I’m sorry I left like I did yesterday. I just saw that message and felt this looming secrecy between us, and it was a little stifling,” she said.
“I understand. I’ve been feeling it, too. I’m hoping that talking to you will alleviate it some,” I said.
“It has. And thank you for telling me. Seriously.”
“You know you can talk to me too, right?”
My question stopped her in her tracks and I could feel her body tightening up again.
“I know I’m not the only one who was carrying secrets, but I also don’t want to force you to talk to me. I wanted to talk with you, so I did. Partially because I felt you needed to know after seeing that text, and partially because I just—wanted to. I’m here, should you ever want to talk.”
“Thank you,” she said, nodding.
We went back to sipping on our beers as the embers of the fire slowly flickered out. I pulled her close as her head nuzzled underneath my cheek, and I breathed in deep the smell of her skin. She was sweet and light, like a freshly sugared warm doughnut. My hands stroked her arm while the wind whipped around outside, driving the temperatures down and forcing me off the couch to make another fire.
Melanie whimpered at the loss of my touch as I got up from the couch, and I smirked before I took her empty beer bottle from her.
“The kids will be up soon, if you want to go back to working,” she said.
“Actually, I’m done for the day. And with the weather graying outside again, I figured we could make it a movie night.”
“Movie?” Liam said.
The sound of his groggy voice whipped my head in the direction of the hallway.
“Aladdin?” Liam asked.
“That’s your favorite movie, isn’t it?” Melanie asked him.
“Uh huh,” he said.
Then, we both heard Hadley’s cries trickling down the hallway.
“I’ll get her,” I said. “You set up the movie and gather up all the blankets.”
It was going to be a wonderful night with just the four of us, and I was very much looking forward to it.
CHAPTER 22
MELANIE
I woke the next morning to the smells of toast and peanut butter wafting under my door. The previous night had been amazing, the four of us snuggled in the blankets on the couch watching Aladdin for the tenth time since I’d been here. I reached for my phone and placed a quick call to my dad to check in before getting out of bed and wandering down to the kitchen.
With every phone call, Dad was sounding stronger and stronger, and it made my heart soar. Not only did it mean he was healing, but it also meant I could spend more time with Evan and the kids without having to worry so much about him.
As I was about to open my door and head down the hall a text from Layla came through.
“Hey there, sex goddess. You spill the beans yet?”
Our conversation yesterday helped me feel closer to him. I still wasn’t ready to completely open up to him, but it had drawn parallels between the two of us. He knew what it was like for the world to betray him. For the foundations of your world to be rocked to the point of no return. I knew he would understand at least that part; I just needed to find the strength to tell him.
I just wasn’t sure how the hell to even begin a conversation like that, or when the proper time was to bring it up.
“Not yet.” I typed back. “But I will, soon.”
I ventured into the kitchen where the kids were happily eating and Evan was standing at the sink telling Liam a silly story about a dancing giant. The little boy was giggling so hard that tears were forming in his eyes and Hadley was looking at him and clapping wildly. My breath stuck in my chest for a moment and I felt warmth spread all the way through to my toes. No matter what he thought about himself, Evan was doing a wonderful job with those kids.
“Good morning Mew!” Liam called when he spotted me.
“Good morning Liam,” I answered with a grin.
I stepped into the kitchen and Evan surprised me by placing a kiss on my forehead before handing me a cup of steaming hot coffee. I looked over to see if Liam had noticed, but he was busy smearing peanut butter over half of his face. I giggled and went over to wipe him down with a wet washcloth.
“That’s supposed to go in your mouth, silly,” I said as he giggled.
Evan went and worked in his shed for a few hours while I cleaned up the house, did some laundry, and read to the kids. I was really starting to enjoy taking care of the house and the kids. It was something I never thought I’d have after my abduction. It had taken me almost a year of extensive therapy even to be able to go back to school, and almost another year to go out anywhere else besides classes.
Though I’d improved a lot over the last two years, I had still resigned myself to the fact that I might never be able to trust a man enough to have a relationship, get married, and have kids. Being able to care for Evan, Liam, and Hadley was refreshing and made me hope for the future. A future I hoped would include all three of them.
When Evan came back in the house in the early evening, dinner was ready and we all sat down to eat after he had a quick shower to warm up and wash the sawdust out of his hair. As we ate, I couldn’t help but steal glances at the man across from me. Though he had shared his secrets with me, he was still such a contradiction.
He was big and rough, but gentle and loving. He was rich beyond what most people would ever see in their lifetime, yet he spent his time making and selling furniture in town. He had said he’d never wanted kids, yet everything he did was for the two precious bundles that sat at the table with us.
I admired him. And I was falling for him. Hard. The realization brought a lump to my throat and I had to excuse myself from the table. I went into the bathroom, feeling Evan’s worried eyes on me, and shut the door. I turned on the cold water and splashed some on my face as the hot tears spilled from
my eyes. Realizing that I was in love with Evan was the most freeing sensation I’d felt in a long time.
I regained my composure and turned off the water. I opened the door to find Evan standing on the other side, his brow furrowed in worry.
“Are you okay?” he asked, reaching out to run his fingertips down my arm.
I smiled up at him and nodded. “Yes, I’m fine. Better than I’ve been in a while,” I assured him.
He looked only half convinced as we made our way back to the table to finish dinner. Once the food had been cleared, I took the kids to get them bathed and dressed for bed while Evan did the dishes.
After the goodnights had been said and the blankets had all been tucked under their chins, Evan and I retired to the living room to sit on the couch in front of the fire as we did most nights.
“I’m sorry I haven’t asked, but how is your dad doing?” Evan asked.
A new warmth spread through my chest. “He’s doing really well actually. Stronger by the day,” I told him.
Though the news was welcome to me, Evan looked troubled by it, though he tried to hide it.
“That’s great to hear,” he said softly.
We sat in silence for a few moments before he spoke again. “So, if he’s doing well, does that mean you’ll be looking for a teaching job somewhere soon? I mean, it seems wrong for you to waste your education.”
I turned and looked at him, taking in the hint of sadness in his eyes that he was trying so hard not to show and my heart nearly broke. “My education is in Early Childhood Development, Evan. Yes, my original goal was to be a preschool teacher, but things can change. I think you know that better than most people. I may not be in a classroom here, but what I’m doing with Liam and Hadley is no less important. I’m using my degree every day with them.”
“Was doing laundry and giving baths part of your degree?”
I laughed. “Not exactly, but I don’t mind doing it.”
“I just don’t want to hold you back,” Evan said.
Now I was starting to worry a bit. “You’re not holding me back Evan. But if you want me to go—”
“No!” he said quickly, assuaging my fear. “I just don’t want you to give up something you’ve wanted for us.”
But you’re what I’ve wanted, I almost said. Instead, I offered, “If I ever start to feel that way, I promise I’ll let you know.”
He nodded, seemingly relieved. “Good, because I called and fired the nanny this morning.”
“You did what?” I asked.
“Yeah. She was nice and good with the kids, but she didn’t have anywhere near the connection that you have with them. Plus, you’re easier on the eyes,” he said, grinning.
I giggled and playfully slapped at his arm. “Oh, so all I am is eye candy?” I teased.
Evan grew suddenly serious. “Not even close, Melanie. You are beautiful, yes, but you are so much more than that.”
And when I looked at him, I felt every bit as special as he thought I was.
I leaned in and pressed my mouth to his, groaning as his tongue licked over my bottom lip. His hands came up around me and pulled me into his lap. He tugged gently on my hair to expose my neck and sucked at the tender skin along my jaw, causing my nipples to harden and my breath to become ragged.
When I couldn’t take anymore, I brought my mouth back down to his, but before our lips could meet, he pulled back.
“So, you’ll stay?” he asked, a storm raging in his eyes.
“For as long as you want me.”
CHAPTER 23
EVAN
A rhythm started developing between all of us. Melanie had been with us for a couple of weeks, and I was feeling really good about things. Her father was doing remarkably well, and so Melanie stayed more nights than she went home. The kids loved having her around and I was beginning to bring in more orders for my woodworking. Though I didn’t need the money, I found that the work kept my mind occupied and off the need for pills. The money I brought in was just a bonus; one I set aside in a secret fund for the kids.
But there was still something lurking in the back of my mind.
There was something that simply wasn’t right with Melanie. As close as we’d gotten, she still wouldn’t let me in, and no matter how many times I tried to get her to understand that she was safe, she always seemed to be looking over her shoulder. Liam had wanted to go outside a couple of days prior to making snow angels, and I caught her staring over at my shed.
Her eyes were lined with tears and it seemed as if she was frozen in her spot.
There was still so much I didn’t know about her. I was dying to know what she was keeping buried inside of her so I could help her through it, but a part of me wondered if I could. Was it something I could help her with? Was it something I could heal? The thought of not being able to help her made me feel like shit. It also brought up doubts about our relationship. Weren’t people who cared about one another supposed to lay all their cards on the table? I had shown her mine, but she had yet to show me hers.
I didn’t know how this was going to work long term if she didn’t let me in. If we were going to occupy the same space, she would have to open up. She would have to learn to confide in me, especially if I had any hope of us ever getting through anything tough. I wanted to be with her, and I wanted her to be with the kids. But I wasn’t going to have a superficial relationship with her.
Especially since I’d poured my life into her lap two weeks ago.
I went to the bank to deposit the money I’d made, then drove back to the cabin. It was much later than I’d thought it would be, and I knew the kids would be asleep once I got there. Darkness draped over the mountain as my tires crunched over the icy pathway, and the smoke pouring from the chimney was a welcome sight.
Climbing out of the truck, I noticed most of the lights were off in the cabin. I figured Melanie had probably gone to bed as well, and part of me was disappointed about that. I was hoping to get some time with her, just to see if I could make her feel comfortable enough to talk with me. If anything, I could express to her my own hesitations with the situation, and maybe that would prompt some sort of discussion.
But when I walked into the house, I found out Melanie wasn’t in bed. In fact, she didn’t even look tired. The kids were nowhere to be found and the house was dark, except for the fire burning in the fireplace and the candles flickering on the table.
“Welcome back,” she said sweetly.
Shrugging off my coat, I studied the cabin in front of me. It was immaculately clean, which never happened with Liam and Hadley around. It smelled of fresh flowers and cinnamon, but it was the table of food that caught my eye. There were garlic mixed vegetables and whipped potatoes. There were two plates holding massive slabs of New York strip steak. The smells were heavenly and Melanie looked downright pleased with herself, and I felt a surge of luck rush through my veins.
I was in awe of how much Melanie did for this family, of all the things she didn’t need to do that she just did. Like cooking meals and cleaning up the house, taking care of all our laundry and even keeping a list of things we were running out of. This woman was the most incredible creature I’d ever come across, and something inside of me changed.
