by Rye Hart
“But you did it,” I said. “That’s the important thing here.”
We sat down and began to eat but I could feel her eyes on me. I knew I looked tired but did I really look that bad?
“Yes, you do,” Gwen said.
“Do what?” I asked.
“Look that bad. Here.”
She pulled out her purse and dug around in it for a while. Eventually, she presented me with a compact mirror. I looked up at her and she raised her eyebrows, almost daring me to look at a person I didn’t want to acknowledge. I sighed and took it from her before I popped it open, thinking it really wouldn’t be as bad as she thought it was.
But even I was startled by the person staring back at me.
The bags underneath my eyes were heavy, despite the massive amount of time I spent sleeping. I still had imprints on my face from where my blanket smushed into my skin. My cheeks were puffy from all the salty snacks I was eating while my cheekbones protruded a bit with the fact that I wasn’t getting enough calories. My hair was frazzled, there were wisps in my face, and, suddenly, I didn’t recognize the person staring back at me.
Who the hell was this haggard woman?
“Now, I know you came to talk about when I’m going to start shopping around for my new business location but, if we’re gonna talk about that, then we have to talk about you,” Gwen said.
“Oh, come on, it’s not that bad,” I said.
“Don’t you ‘lawyer’ me. This has gone on long enough. You’ve been out of work for a month and the Whitney I know would’ve already had another plan in place. What’s happening? What’s going on?”
“Here’s the deal,” I said. “I’ll talk about me but we talk about you first. I don’t want my shit overshadowing this incredible thing you’ve just done.”
I took a bite of my salad while Gwen held my stare.
“You drive a hard bargain but I accept,” she said, grinning. “And to answer your first question, I’m going to start looking next week.”
“I hate it when you do that.”
“Do what?” she asked. “Know all the things you’re thinking all at once? I’m your best friend. It’s one of my superpowers.”
“Got it,” I said. “So, can I help you look for places?”
“No.”
“Why not?” I asked. “Come on. It’ll be fun! I’ll treat us to lunches and everything.”
“Most of my shopping is gonna be online until I can narrow it down. Then, I’ll be contacting a realtor. And you? You’ll be in Gatlinburg.”
“Uh, why the hell would I be in Gatlinburg?” I asked.
“Because I know you and I know you enjoy the mountains more than the beach. You like the beach when no one is there but you like the mountains no matter what. There’s a cabin resort in Gatlinburg that caters to people who just need to get away. That’s where I went after my breakup with Tommy last summer.”
“You did come back a new woman. I never heard you talk about Tommy after that fiasco.”
“Best fucking decision I ever made. I treated myself to some sleep, a hot tub, and a massage, then came back to tell his sorry ass that it was over for good and never to call me again.”
“Get it, girl.”
“And that’s what you need,” she said. “A place to go think. That idiotic apartment that you live in? That place isn’t a place to think. It’s a prison and it’s kept you there long enough.”
“I can’t argue that point with you.”
“I think you should get rid of it altogether, honestly. Get it off your plate before you go to the mountains.”
“First, I haven’t agreed to the mountains and, second, where the hell would I come back to?” I asked.
“Girl, you know you can always stay with me.”
“We did enough of that shit in high school,” I said.
“And we’ll do more of that shit now,” she said. “Look, Whit. I love you. You’re not my best friend. You’re my fucking sister. We’ve literally been through all the shit together. Trust me that I know what’s good for you. Pay whatever you need to get out of that lease, pack your shit up, and come stay with me for a bit. Please?”
“Am I staying with you or going to the mountains?” I asked.
“Don’t get smart with me. First you do one, then you do the other. And, finally, you figure out just what you are going to be when you grow up.”
I watched as Gwen’s hand reached out to take mine and I could feel tears rising in my eyes.
“I don’t know what to do,” I said.
“What have you always wanted to do?” she asked.
“Be a lawyer,” I said.
“Then find somewhere else to be a lawyer. Open up your own damn practice, for all I care.”
“It’s just not that simple,” I said.
“No, it’s not. I can tell you that firsthand. I can also tell you that it’s the most exciting thing I’ve ever done with my damn life. And it’ll be that way for you, too, once you find out what you want.”
“But how do I find out what I want?” I asked.
“Go to the resort,” she said. “Get yourself a cabin. For a few days or a week. Hell, go and stay through the holidays. Pack up your shit, toss that apartment, blow off Memphis for a while, and go do something you want to go do.”
“And I want to go to the mountains?” I asked.
“Girl, I don’t fucking know. All I know is you love the mountains and you love watching sunsets with coffee in your hand.”
“Oh hell, I really love that,” I said, groaning.
“So, we can do it right now,” she said.
“What?”
“On my phone. We can do it right now. Let me pull up the website.”
“Wait, wait, wait,” I said. “Right now? We’re gonna book something right now? I mean, have we talked about your business yet?”
“We have. I’m gonna start my search next month online and with a realtor. Once I have it narrowed down to two places, you’re gonna get all the pictures and you’re gonna tell me which one to go with because I can never make decisions like that on my own. Then, when I sign the rental agreement, you’re gonna help me decorate the damn thing because I’m shit at that. Okay?”
“You really are shit at that. I’m no interior designer but I know I can do a better job than you,” I said.
“Very funny, smart ass. Now, ready to book?” she asked.
She turned her phone around and I saw the most picturesque, snow-covered mountain I’d ever seen in my life. I took her phone and started scrolling through the pictures, looking at the cabins available to me. There were massive cabins that could house two families and small studio cabins that were made for only one or two people and, all of a sudden, things started falling into place. I looked through pictures of fires roaring in the fireplace and pictures of the jet tub every cabin boasted. I thought about cooking my small little dinners for one and enjoying cups of coffee while the sun set over the beautiful view where one of the studio cabins was located.
I clicked on it and searched for its available dates and found that it was open for three solid weeks.
I saw Gwen smile out of my peripheral vision while I continued to type away on her phone. I dipped into my purse and pulled out my credit card, booking the small cabin for the next three weeks. I had four days to pack up and get out there and, by the time I hit the confirmation button, I’d resolved myself to another task.
I was getting rid of that shitty apartment of mine.
“So?” Gwen asked. “How does it feel?”
“For the first time in a month, I feel excited about something,” I said.
“Good,” she said. “You should. It’s a beautiful place, and you’re gonna love it. And who knows? Maybe you’ll meet yourself a sexy rugged manly man.”
“Oh, no. I’ve got the cabin and it’s lit a fire under my ass to ditch the apartment. I’m not taking on a man.”
“Girl, you really need to get laid. When was the last time you go
t laid?”
“I have sex!” I exclaimed. “Just… not… often?”
Gwen started laughing before she tossed a grape into her mouth.
“You should find yourself a nice, local mountain man who’s got a thing for city girls. He’d dick ya right before he sent ya home. And if he’s real good to you, he’ll feed you sweet tea shirtless, too.”
“Are you serious right now?” I asked.
“Hell yes! Go to the mountains, relax, and get laid. Those are your three tasks.”
“I’m not focused on finding a man right now,” I said. “I’m focused on finding a future.”
“Well, two out of three is still the majority,” she said. “I can’t be pissed at that. And did I hear you say something about actually getting rid of that apartment?”
“I’m riding the high of doing something I wanna do, so I’m gonna ride it as far as it takes me,” I said.
“Wanna call the landlord now?” she asked.
That grin on Gwen’s face was something I was never able to say “no” to. The moment that grin crawled across her face, it meant she had a plan in motion, so I handed her phone back to her before I pulled out mine.
“Stay quiet,” I said as I dialed the number.
“When have you known me to be anything but?” she asked.
I shook my head at her while she continued to eat lunch. I talked with my landlord and told him I would be moving out in the next four days and that whatever I needed to pay was all right with me. He wasn’t happy and tried hard to negotiate me into staying but I stayed firm. I knew it was going to be hard for him to rent that apartment back out, especially since he didn’t take care of it in the first place. But I didn’t care. For the first time in a month, I felt like I was finally taking control of my life again and, now that I had a wonderful trip planned, I felt like I knew what I deserved.
And that apartment was not what I deserved.
“Sir,” I said. “I will be moving out in four days. I’ll leave a check at your office on Friday. Thank you for your time.”
I hung up before he could get another word in edgewise and, suddenly, I felt another boulder being lifted off my shoulders.
“How do you feel?” Gwen asked, grinning.
“Really good,” I said.
“Good, because you’re my next client.”
“What?” I asked.
“I got a text message from one of my clients. He canceled and he was my next two hours. So, you’re sitting in the chair and I’m doing something with that rat’s nest.”
“You’re not cutting my hair,” I said. “I like it long.”
“Yes, but your color needs refreshing and you’ve got split ends for days. Let me touch you up before your fun little man-hunting trip.”
“I’m not man-hunting,” I said.
“Whatever, and it’s no charge,” she said.
“Nope. I’m paying you if you’re gonna do my hair.”
“No, you’re not. That’s what you can give me as a ‘hurray, you saved up all that money!’ present.”
“Nope. I’m taking you out to dinner tonight.”
“Which means you’ll need awesome hair,” she said, grinning. “That you’re not paying for.”
“Fine. But I’m paying for dinner.”
“Then I expect a nice restaurant.”
“I was thinking more along the lines of nice barbecue,” I said.
“Now you’re talkin’ my language. Come on. Let’s get you in that chair and ready for tonight.”
Chapter 5
Liam
I woke up alone in my bed and I sighed. It was better that way. No one to wake up in the middle of the night with my nightmares. No one to protect from my anger. No one poking and prodding about my days in the military and no one to feed or look after. I’d done enough of that shit in the Navy and I was leaving those days behind me.
I wasn’t a doctor, I wasn’t a defender, and I wasn’t a protector.
I was just a man, trying hard to forget about the bullshit.
I dragged myself out of bed and took a shower. I was ready for winter to set in. I was ready for the snow to cover my cabin. I was ready to make a fire, sit by it, and simply reflect. I enjoyed the quiet, the eerie silence that came with being so far out into the woods. Back here, there was no one screaming. Back here, there was no one firing off guns. Back here, there was no one crying until they fell into an endless slumber.
I opened up the fridge and started taking stock of things. The snow hadn’t fallen nearly as hard last night as I thought it would and I was suddenly glad for that. Out of all the things I’d forgotten, I didn’t grab milk at the store.
That meant I’d have to go back into town and get some.
It was a tip I’d learned from a local who was chatting my ear off. You could buy gallons of milk and freeze them for the winter. All you had to do was take about half a cup out of the gallon, screw the lid on tight and then store it away. I didn’t use a great deal of milk for things but I would need it if I wanted to bake and cook up some of the things I’d bought the other day. I sighed, knowing Moose would try to talk my ear off again, but I didn’t really have a choice.
I wrapped a scarf around my neck and pulled on a hat. The temperature was dropping, which meant I’d need to store my truck away. The last thing I needed was the snow and ice damaging this thing. Every time I got into it, my truck reminded me of a lighter time. A time where I could still smile without feeling guilty and take a breath without feeling like my lungs were trying to collapse in on themselves.
I rode into town and tried to get my mind off things but when I came across a tree down in the middle of the pathway, I had to backtrack. I’d get my chainsaw out later and remove it.
I wasn’t sure where this back way took me, but I was hoping it would pass by a clearing. If I could keep leaning to my left, I could get back onto the road and get into town. As I traveled down the road, it eventually cleared into a carved-out path through the trees.
That was when I saw it. The resort.
I’d heard a few locals talk about it whenever I had to go into town. They talked about how the cabins were beautiful, but they also talked about how loud the families were. Rich families and people getting away would descend onto the resort and ham it up. They’d clog up the local restaurants, trying to experience “local Gatlinburg” life, when all they really wanted to do was buy a designer pair of boots.
The locals complained that it flooded their town with “city folk,” but I saw it a bit differently. It would have been the life I lived had things not gone south in the Navy.
I drove by the back road that skirted the property and studied the log cabins. They were put together well and I could tell they had all the common luxuries of high-class society. Ample electricity, central heating, massive windows that you could see into, chandeliers hung from the ceilings, and there were probably walk-in saunas and shit like that.
At another point in my life, I would’ve loved shit like that.
But not anymore. I wandered around the back end of the resort and finally came to what I thought was the front of it. I had to stop at a small little stop sign to get to the main road, but I had to wait until some people crossed my path. A mother was walking with her fully-grown sons while the father lugged all their luggage. There was a couple holding hands who couldn’t stop kissing one another long enough to cross the damn road.
And then there was a woman: one lone woman looking down at her feet.
She couldn’t have been older than twenty-eight and she was dressed as if she worked in the corporate sector. She had long blonde hair that looked perfectly styled. The sun reflected off the top of her head and almost made it look like she was glistening.
I wondered what her story was. What in the world was a woman like herself doing at a resort that tailored itself to families? Surely, she needed some money to stay at a place like this, which probably accounted for the way she was dressed. Her dark red pea coat covered her e
ntire body but I could see her black work pants and her black heeled boots peeking out from beneath the fabric.
A beauty like her didn’t need to be walking with her shoulders slumped and head down.
My phone rang in my shirt pocket, ripping me from my thoughts, and I started back into town while I answered it. I knew there was only one person who would be calling me because, well, he was the only person who had my number.
And it was about damn time I heard from him.
“Paxton,” I said. “It’s about damn time.”
“Canter, what’s crackin’?” he asked.
“Nothin’ much. Just driving into town for some milk.”
“Preparing for that harsh winter or something?” he asked.
“Well, I do hear the locals talking about it sometimes. And the weather forecasts aren’t too pretty, either.”
“At least you’re getting into town. I was worried you’d coop yourself up in that cabin and never come out.”
“A man’s gotta eat,” I said, grinning.
“Especially when he’s as massive as you.”
“So, what’s going on with you?” I asked. “How are the guys?”
“Well, me and some of the guys are actually preparing for another deployment,” he said.
My hand gripped the phone a bit too tightly.
“Another deployment?” I asked. “You sure you’re up for somethin’ like that?”
“I mean, I need to get my mind off things. I need to show myself that not every deployment will turn out like our last one. All I’m doing here is sitting at a fucking desk, pushing papers and twiddling my fucking thumbs, man. I can’t do it anymore.”
“So, you volunteered for this one?” I asked.
