by Marie James
“Make it back safely, and I’ll make it worth your time,” he vows, brushing his lips against mine one last time before he walks away.
I stare after him and keep standing alone in the hallway long after the scrumptious sight of his ass disappears around the corner.
I am well and truly fucked where that man is concerned.
Chapter 30
Cannon
“You weren’t joking,” I say in awe as Dad shows me the spreadsheets from last year’s fiscal calendar.
“Wait, you sound impressed.” He grins at me when I can only nod.
“I had no idea things were this complicated.”
“What exactly did you imagine?” He sits back in his office chair, positioning his hands behind his head as he looks at me.
I turn in my own office chair, reluctant to pull my eyes from the computer screen. He was right when we spoke months ago about Cerberus. The club is a multi-billion-dollar business, and I had no idea.
“A few debits for jobs, and a handful of credits for supplies.”
His lip twitches at my ignorance of the situation. “It’s a little more complicated than that.”
“Clearly.” I dart my eyes back to the computer screen. “Sorry for not taking you up on the offer to do this sooner.”
“It’s no big deal. I know you want to get away from here, spread your wings and all that, but I want you to know there are opportunities here as well.”
Six months ago, if someone asked me what my plans were, I’d quickly tell them about my desire to stay in California after college or head to a huge city like New York or Chicago. That’s what I’ve wanted for so long it became my mantra. Go anywhere so long as I was away from Cerberus. I don’t know when it started. I don’t even know why I wanted to get away, and even as I told everyone that, my actions spoke differently. I always come back for holidays and many weekends during the semester. It’s almost like I was saying one thing and doing the complete opposite. This is where my family is, and at the end of the day these people are the ones that mean the most.
That number has grown by one recently, and the thought of not being here this next school year makes me uneasy. I don’t even want to think about it, but I know it’s coming whether I want to face it or not.
I haven’t had a heart-to-heart with Rivet. We haven’t discussed where this situation between us is heading, but the way she reacted to me earlier in the hallway says more than her mouth was willing to admit.
“You seem lost in thought,” Dad says after who knows how long of me being stuck in my own head.
“Yeah, sorry,” I apologize. “Just have a lot of shit in my head right now.”
“Did you talk to Michael earlier?”
Michael is one of my frat buddies, and he also happens to be Cassie’s ex-boyfriend. They had an amicable split a few months ago, and they were cordial enough with each other that Cassie continued to show up at the parties we held last semester.
“I did, and it took me twenty minutes to get him to back down from the idea of heading to Tijuana to search for her. I think I convinced him to let the police handle the situation, reminding him that getting in the way of an investigation could do more harm than good.”
Dad nods, and he doesn’t seem surprised that I kept Cerberus’s name out of the situation. We were raised not to talk about what the club does, even though as a kid we really didn’t have a clue other than they helped people. In recent years, my eyes have been opened wide, and some days I wish I were still in the dark about all of it. Sometimes burying your head in the sand is easier to stomach than the truth.
“Knowing the finer details about some of this stuff is honestly one of the negatives in considering working for Cerberus.”
“We have more successes than not, but the bad ones will stick with you. It’ll change the way you see the world. It’ll make you understand why your mother has urged me to convince you not to go back to campus in the fall.”
My pulse pounds in my ears.
“Not go back? Like quit school?”
Dad shakes his head. “Do your last year online, like Samson did.”
I watch his eyes, but I don’t find anything other than my loving father in his blue gaze.
“She’s really freaked out about all of this?”
“Of course she is. We all are.” He sighs, rolling his office chair a little closer to me. “I’m not trying to smother you. That’s not what we want at all, but the thought of—”
Dad clears his throat when his emotions try to take over.
“We just want you safe, and I’m hoping this isn’t going to be one of those times you’re going to dig in your feet because of stubborn pride or some sense of independence. It’s not fair to ask you to make this sacrifice because it’ll help keep your mom from going crazy, but I’m willing to play that card to keep you here.”
“If I don’t go back to SDSU in the fall, it won’t be because there’s danger in Tijuana or because Mom gets nervous when I leave town,” I confess, and I know he can see the truth in my eyes.
“Rivet?” he asks softly, without an ounce of the irritation I would expect in his eyes about his employee.
I nod. “Yeah. She’s… she’s just… yeah, Rivet.”
He grins, but it’s a half-smile, only tugging up one corner of his mouth.
“She’s an amazing member. I didn’t think things were serious.” He grins wider. “I didn’t expect things to get serious between the two of you.”
“Because I’m not a serious guy?”
“You know how you are, Cannon, or should I say how you were? Life is a party for you, but you’re young, that’s how it should be. Your mother and I didn’t want the dark cloud of the world’s realities hanging over your head. We wanted you to be as carefree as keeping you safe would allow. I didn’t think it would change so fast for you, but I’m not surprised either.”
“What do you mean?”
“When you know, you know.”
“And that’s not vague either. Can you explain—”
My jaw snaps shut when the office door opens. Griffin walks in with an easy smile on his face. It seems like the weight of the world has been lifted off his shoulders. Acting like everything was fine when he was around Ivy had taken its toll on him, to the point that he didn’t even bother trying to hide his stress when it had just been the two of us.
“I didn’t expect you back so soon,” Dad says as Griffin plops down in the chair on the other side of the desk.
“It was a lot more streamlined than I thought it would be. Very organized and straight forward.”
Griffin left midafternoon yesterday to head to California to testify against the Marine lieutenant who made him choose between his life and lives of civilians while at war. My brother was discharged from the Corps and was a different person from the one who left here right after high school. A black cloud followed him around, but Ivy was able to shine some light on him. I know he’s been in therapy as well.
“I was the first one to testify this morning, and they cut me loose. Prosecutors have so much evidence, they have no doubt that Novo will spend the rest of his life in prison.”
“That’s good news,” Dad says. “Seriously good news.”
Griffin leans forward, elbows on his knees. “So that means one door is closed.”
“It does,” Dad agrees.
“I’m ready to open another.”
Cold chills race down my skin at the determination in my brother’s eyes. He’s been so lost for so long, it’s an honor to sit here and see the life return to his face. Ivy has loved him, has been by his side since almost the second he returned from the hell he lived the last couple of months in the Corps, but there’s always been something missing, something he needed to be complete.
“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” Dad asks.
A slow smile spreads across Griffin’s cheeks.
“I want to join Cerberus. If the offer still stands.”
Dad clears his throat for t
he second time today. “Of course it does.”
“Cannon, can you grab me a new hire packet from the file cabinet?”
I raise an eyebrow, but I stand and move toward the file cabinet Dad is pointing at. “There’s actual paperwork?”
“This is a business, Son. Of course there’s paperwork.”
Sure enough, he’s right. There’s a lot of paperwork. I hand the thick folder to Dad who breezes through it with skill before handing half of it to Griffin to start on.
“I’ll get your psych scheduled with Dr. Alverez and you can do your physical while you’re there. Background check can be done by the end of the day.” Dad taps the keyboard a few times until some sort of database pulls up. He types in Griffin’s full name before pressing enter and letting the machine run. “Don’t look so surprised, Cannon. You might as well get a folder out for yourself. Even part-time employees are required to go through the same process.”
“I’m only interning,” I argue, not looking forward to psychological testing or turning my head and coughing for some doctor at the hospital.
“Everyone,” Dad says again.
I climb to my feet and grab another folder. By the end of the day, my paperwork is complete. Dad knows about the time I ended up in the drunk tank after a particularly wild party at school, and I’ve just about made up my mind to complete my senior year of college in the same town I don’t ever see myself leaving long term ever again.
Chapter 31
Rivet
“No thanks.” Jinx scrunches up his face when I offer him a beer. “If I’d known that we were going to be called out, I don’t think I would’ve drunk so much last night.”
“So maybe you just imagined those girls then,” I tease as I lift my own bottle to my lips.
Jinx grins, his eyes going a little fuzzy as he thinks back on the previous night’s proclivities. “No, those girls were one hundred percent real.”
The guys around the table laugh, and I can’t help but chuckle myself. We’re all in light moods after discovering the three girls we came here to find passed out drunk in a hotel room rather than waiting for dental records after a car fire like the families had to do with the last group.
The relief was so intense, we’ve opted to have a few beers while they gear the plane up to take us back home. This is the fastest trip I’ve made since joining Cerberus, and honestly, I’m anxious to get back to the clubhouse, and beyond ecstatic knowing I’ll get to sleep in my own bed tonight.
Plus, there’s also the added chance that Cannon will join me. He did make a promise in the hallway earlier today after all. I hiss a long sigh, turning my head to scan the small bar we’ve invaded. I can’t get him out of my head, and I don’t know if I’m okay with the intrusive thoughts or if I hate them completely.
“College students are idiots,” Grinch mumbles as he tosses a peanut shell on the littered floor under our bar stools. He’s been agitated since we left the hotel with the grumbling, hungover girls.
It’s not that he wished we’d had a different outcome, he’s just the type that doesn’t understand why they would’ve put themselves in danger in the first place. I gave up long ago trying to figure out why people do what they do, and college students most of all rarely think of the consequences when they act. This also makes me think of Cannon. He’s still a college student after all.
“Lots of people are idiots, not just college students,” I tell him, playing the devil’s advocate. “The world could be going through a catastrophic event and people would still be going on vacation and living their best lives. Hell, there are groups of people so ignorant to what’s going on around them, we could be months into an apocalypse before they even got wind that something was wrong.”
“Most people don’t think bad things can happen to them,” Hound adds. “For the most part, they’re protected from the outside world and the evil that lurks around.”
“True.” I raise my beer in agreement.
“They all need a damn healthy dose of reality,” Grinch mutters as he peels the label off his beer. “What about Izzy?”
“What about her?” Hound narrows his eyes as he looks at our teammate.
“Does she know about the dangers? You’ve taught her about vigilance and safety, right?”
“Of course I have. She knows to be cautious and to never get too comfortable in her own surroundings, but people make mistakes. Some just do it with more flare than others, like those girls from tonight did.”
“I bet our team showing up at the hotel, the informative talk we had with them, and their parents’ worry doesn’t keep them from doing something stupid again next week,” I mumble. “Let’s just hope they get stupid matching tattoos or something instead of endangering their damn lives.”
“Here, here.” Jinx says as he lifts the beer he refused earlier before taking a long pull. He squints his eyes, and I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing at his misery. He must’ve really tied one on last night, but even though we’re talking about the girls’ regrets, I know the man wouldn’t have traded last night’s fun for anything, even if it means he’s miserable for the next two days.
“I think—” I begin, but my phone rings in my pocket.
My pulse ramps up because my team is here, so that leaves either Cannon or Bishop trying to reach me. I grin wide when I pull my phone free and see my friend’s name on the screen.
“Excuse me,” I tell the guys as I stand from the table and walk toward the front entrance of the bar. “Hey you.”
“Rivet.” I can hear the smile in Bishop’s voice and it causes the corners of my own mouth to pull up.
“It’s been way too long. Are you safe?”
“I am. I’ve missed you.” The jovial tone in his voice is gone in a blink. “It’s hard doing this shit without you.”
“I miss you, too,” I tell him, and it’s the truth.
We were thick as thieves before I discharged, and it’s taken some adjustments to get used to him not being around while I’m working. I still haven’t formed the kind of bond with one of the Cerberus guys that I had with him. It’s rather disorienting.
“I was thinking,” he begins, “I have some time coming, and I want to see you.”
I grin wide as I leave the bar, keeping my eyes open and scanning the area while my back is to the concrete wall of the building.
“You want to visit New Mexico?”
“Not particularly,” he laughs, the sound humorless and filled with mild irritation, “but I know I won’t be able to convince you to come back to California.”
“I never know when I’ll be called out, and I haven’t been here long enough to ask for time off,” I explain.
“I know.” He doesn’t sound very thrilled even though he’s trying to make plans to see me, and I don’t know how to take it. “I can come there. We can get a hotel room and hang out or something. We can stay close enough to your place in case you get called up.”
Normally this wouldn’t be a problem for me, but the mention of us even hanging out in a hotel room together alone makes Cannon flash in my mind. If he told me he was going to stay a couple of days with a female friend of his that he happened to have slept with once, it would piss me off. I imagine he’d feel the same way I am right now.
“Just to hang out?” I clarify.
Silence fills the line, and it seems like minutes tick by without him responding.
“I miss you,” Bishop finally says, his voice low and filled with need.
I swallow thickly. I don’t want to make him mad, but it’s clear just from his tone that he expects more from me. Maybe avoiding this conversation as long as we have is the worst thing we could’ve done.
“Listen, I just want to see you. We can order room service and just hang out. Binge watch stupid movies and eat our weight in fast food. Drink enough tequila to—”
“We’ve done that before, and you know how it ended.”
“Yeah,” he sighs. “I know how it ended. That ni
ght was amazing, Rivet.”
“That night was—” I clear my throat, trying to dislodge the lump forming there, but I don’t continue on my line of thought because not only is it a conversation we need to have face-to-face but because this isn’t the right time to discuss it. I’m in Mexicali with my team, and we’re an hour away from loading up on the jet to return to the clubhouse.
Return to Cannon.
“When will you be flying in?” I ask instead.
“Day after tomorrow,” he answers.
“That-that’s soon,” I stammer.
“Don’t sound so excited to see me or anything.”
Ignoring his agitation, I smile, trying to get myself back into a better mood.
“We can make plans when you get here,” I tell him because I’m not going to commit to anything before I talk to Cannon. “I can’t wait to see you. It’s been way too long.”
“We’ll talk soon, Rivet,” Bishop says before the call goes dead.
Bishop is my best friend, but there’s an ominous feeling settling in my gut when I walk back into the bar to join my team. He wants more than I’m willing to give him, and I can’t figure out how to let him down without ruining our friendship. I know if I dig deep enough, I’d understand that the beginning of the end started that night we shared in Bahrain.
“Yeah. No big deal. Yeah. We’ll find some place to crash.” Hound hangs up his phone, and he sighs before he looks back at the rest of us. “There’s an issue with the damn plane.”
“So we aren’t going home tonight?” Jinx asks, saying what we’re all thinking.
“Nope,” Hound responds. “Max has booked us rooms at the hotel down the street. Looks like we won’t get out of here until midday tomorrow at the earliest.”
Rocker grumbles. Grinch looks more irritated than usual, but Jinx just seems relieved that he gets to crash soon.
We pay the tab and leave the bar. It takes everything in me not to ask one of the guys if they have Cannon’s number. After the day I’ve had, all I want to do is hear his voice, even if it’s some stupid pickup line that will make me want to slap him.
