by Vella, Wendy
Will watched his brother sink into the high-backed chair behind the desk and then took the one in front. The last time he had been in this room had been the day he and Joseph had argued, the day he had left the house for London.
“I am pleased that I can now put that memory to rest,” Joseph said.
“Pardon?” Will wasn’t sure he had heard those words correctly.
Joseph leaned his head back on the chair and looked at him, his eyes steady as they searched his face.
“The memory of our last argument here, I can now put it to rest.”
The man seated before Will seemed suddenly different from the harsh, unyielding duke he’d always known, he noted the laughter lines around his mouth, and even his posture was less rigid.
“Penny talked at me for endless hours last night about you. Demanding I unbend enough to actually have a conversation with you, William. For some reason she believes we have never communicated with each other, and that this is the time to start and more importantly I, as the eldest, must be the instigator. She fears that you will leave again if I do not and… I do not want that.”
Will just stared at his brother. He had expected a lecture and harsh words but never this.
“Well, say something,” Joseph said when he remained silent. “Or must I beg?”
“Beg for what?”
“Your forgiveness.”
“But there is nothing for me to forgive, Joseph. I was at fault, not you.”
The Duke braced his elbows on the desk and then put his head in his hands in a very un-dukish manner.
“I do not like speaking of emotions and have trouble articulating them as do most men, but I will try or my wife has informed me she will sleep in my son’s room until I do.”
Shaking his head Will wondered if he was actually hearing these words.
“I would pray every day that you were not in any danger and that your horse would appear so I could take those words back.”
“I thought you would be relieved to see me go, at the time I was fairly certain you were not overly fond of me.”
Snorting, Joseph shook his head. “I wanted to place my first in your jaw but that did not mean I did not care for you, Will. You are my brother, and whilst I did not like the man you were turning into, I believed you could be saved or I would not have bothered to try.”
Had he been wrong in believing his brother wanted to control him? Had Joseph only wanted to help guide him on the right path? If Will had truly taken the time to look, would he have found the big brother he always wanted?
“When I realized you were not coming back, I sent a man to London to find you and when he returned saying that he had found evidence that you and Luke had boarded a boat bound for India, I knew I could do nothing to bring you home.”
Will remembered Thea’s words. He was so worried when you left, he paced these halls for days, muttering about going after you and then one day he just stopped and never mentioned your name again.
Climbing to his feet, Will began to pace. “I truly didn’t believe you cared at the time. I was so consumed with anger and frustration over what I believed to be the wrongs inflicted upon me that I did not take the time to see how my departure would impact those I left behind. It wasn’t until I was away from here that the guilt grew. I wanted to send you a letter many times but I never knew the right words to say.”
“‘Joe, I’m well, please don’t worry. I will return one day’.”
Will snorted at his brother’s drawled words.
“For the first few months after leaving here I felt free and the pressure inside me eased, but it did not take long to realize what I had left behind and to understand how atrociously spoilt I had become.”
“Why didn’t you return sooner, Will?”
Will rested his forehead on the cool glass of the window. Did he even know why he had stayed away so long?
“I never fitted here you know, not really, Joe. Our father was the Duke and you were in training to be his heir, but what was I?”
“A son and a brother who was loved very much.”
“Perhaps.” Will looked out the window. “But I wanted more and never had the strength of character then to go searching for it so I settled on being rebellious.”
“You were certainly that,” Joseph said.
“The more trouble I created the angrier you got and a part of me relished in your rage. I wanted your perfect life to have a chink in it, and that chink was me.” Will felt the shame that always came when he remembered his behaviour. But he needed to say these things, they were five years overdue, and he would not leave this room until he had at least cleared the air with his brother.
“But why wait so long to return?”
“I wanted to make something of myself, be someone who the both of us could be proud of, Joe. It just took me so long to find that person and even longer to find my way back home and I’m sorry that in doing so I hurt so many people.”
Will heard the clink of a glass.
“Penny says the problem is that we never really formed a bond, Will. Before Father died, I was always taking lessons or behaving like Father expected me to and after he died I became your parent and was no longer your brother and I’m sorry for that.”
“Everything you said to me the day I left was true, Joe.” Will sighed. “And I should have supported you after our father died, not made your life difficult.”
“And maybe if I had asked you for that support instead of trying to do it all myself then things would have been different.”
Will was silent for a while as he thought about what he wanted to say next.
“I came to understand a bit about the pressure you were under and probably still are, when I was away.”
“Tell me about yourself, brother, so I may now know the man you have become?” Joseph asked.
Will couldn’t seem to stand still so he walked around the office touching things. He had never been good at baring his soul, and doing so while facing his brother, the one man he had never really spoken to, was not easy for him.
“Come, Will, talk to me,” Joseph coaxed. “I don’t believe we have ever really conversed on any level.”
“When I had packed my things I left the house and stormed to the stables. Luke was inside and asked where I was bound. I told him and he asked to accompany me,” Will said, remembering that day.
“Yes, his mother arrived on my doorstep the following morning informing me that if anything happened to her boy it would be me that she came after, especially as it was my irresponsible brother that had led her Luke astray.”
Will snorted. “Luke is no longer that boy, Joe; he is now a man with his own mind and income and a surprising aptitude for making money. He has the remarkable ability to do calculations quicker than anyone I’ve ever met.”
“Really? I can imagine that could come in handy,” the Duke said, and then waved his hand for Will to continue with his story.
“The boat we secured a passage on was headed for India, and that was where I met Freddy. He too was leaving to seek his fortune, only unlike like us he was a man who had experienced a little of what life can throw at you without the protection of your family. He saved us from some men whose intent was to rob Luke and I and no doubt slit our throats, and has stayed with me ever since.”
Joseph didn’t speak, but Will saw his fingers clench around the crystal decanter as he reached for it.
“We talked for what felt like the entire journey to India and worked through a plan between us that would benefit us all. I had the title and some money and Freddy and Luke had the intelligence and were not afraid of hard work. Once we arrived in India we started to implement it.”
“Please sit, Will.”
Taking the glass his brother held out to him, Will sat and sipped the contents while watching Joseph do the same. He swallowed his smile; his brother would need the cognac’s fortifying powers shortly.
“I put up the money and we purchased our first shipment of silks
, which we on sold to anyone who wanted them. Eventually we moved into other things, like spices and furniture and soon we were able to buy our first ship.
“Ship!” Joseph spluttered. “You own a ship?”
“Three of them, actually.”
“Good lord!”
Will laughed at his brother’s stunned expression.
“Freddy began to accompany the shipments back to England and then he started buying warehouses to store the goods in.”
“And you never thought to accompany him?”
Will held his brother eyes. “The time was not right then, Joe, as it is now.”
“So how rich are you?”
“Extremely.”
Joseph laughed; a great rolling sound that filled the room and Will couldn’t remember the last time he had heard such a noise coming from his brother.
“Richer than me?”
Will nodded.
“And what do you plan to do now you’re back in England?” Joseph questioned when he had himself under control.
“I will continue to bring shipments into the country and there are a few other things that I would like to look at investing in here in England. Firstly, however, I had thought to purchase some property nearby.”
Not much silenced the Duke, but silenced he was.
“Stunned, brother? I hope in a good way,” Will said, wondering why he suddenly felt uncertain.
“In a good way, brother, I assure you. Mother and father would be very proud of the man you have become and I am only sorry that I doubted you for so long.”
“I gave you no reason to believe in me, Joe. I hope that has now changed.”
The Duke nodded. “Do you know how many times I have longed to just say the word brother and know it was you I was talking too, Will?
Will nodded because he had felt the same, too many times to count. He knew their relationship would take time to grow, yet for the first time in many years, he believed that he and Joseph would one day become friends. Slowly the pain inside him was easing, the tightness in his chest loosening. He was home and home is where he would stay.
***
The Langley sisters put on their warmest stockings and best walking dresses and boots, then bundled into their outdoor clothes and set out for the church at a slow stroll. Bella had assured her sisters that with the aid of her walking stick, she could make it the short distance to the village and back. Livvy would find a ride home for them if she tired.
Mrs Popplehinge had left strict instructions as to when the flowers should be changed, and what flowers to pick from the small greenhouse at the rear of the church, therefore Livvy was determined that they do exactly as she had directed. She would not give the woman reason to complain.
“How is your shoulder, Livvy?”
“Much better, Phoebe, thank you,” Livvy said as they made their way down the road that led to the village. “You will let us know if the walk gets too much for you, Bella?”
“Yes, Livvy.”
“I wonder if walking to the village on such a cold day is healthy?” Phoebe said, looking at the grey sky.
“It will do us good. Because of my shoulder we have been inside too long and I, for one, need some fresh air.” That was not strictly speaking true; Livvy had stayed inside because she did not want to see Will again yet there was no way she would ever admit that.
“Can you believe it is nearly Christmas, and still we have had no snow?” Bella said, leaning on her walking stick whilst she swung her basket with the other hand. She looked pretty in her dark green, velvet cloak. A matching bonnet was nestled on her curls with cream ribbons tied beneath her chin. Seeing the colour in her cheeks and slight weight gain reinforced to Livvy that what she and Phoebe had done had been the right thing to do, even though the guilt of their actions was never far away. They had paid bills and subsequently ordered more supplies, and Bella looked much healthier for the change in her diet.
The Langley sisters lived a charade when they left their house. Dressed always in their finest clothes, they acted as if the most pressing concern in their lives was choosing new trim for a bonnet when they were in the village of Twoaks, and so far the façade had worked. Livvy had serious doubts it would do so for much longer.
“Will you ride, Harvey, in the Derby this year, Livvy?” Bella called over her shoulder.
Harvey was Phoebe’s horse, and she had ridden him in the race last year and placed third, she had hopes of winning the prize money the Earl of Dobberly put up this year.
“Of course she will ride Harvey, he is far swifter than her slug Boris,” Phoebe said, offering Livvy a soft smile. Taking the two steps to bring them together, she took her sister’s hand in hers and squeezed it.
“Thank you, Phoebe, and although Boris is not as swift as Harvey, he is certainly no slug and I shall thank you not to mention it in front of him.”
“Perhaps slug was harsh.” Phoebe laughed. “And I’m sorry for what I said to you the other day,” she added so only Livvy could hear.
“I’m sorry we argued, too.”
“The thing is, Livvy, I spoke without thinking and hurt you and that was not fair of me. Bella and I are very aware that you are sacrificing your happiness to ensure we one day find ours.”
When she let her guard down and showed the real person beneath, Phoebe was actually very sweet.
“Having both of you settled will be enough happiness for me, Phoebe, don’t you realize that?”
“But what of your happiness, don’t you want a family and husband of your own?”
The pale blue velvet bonnet framed Phoebe’s pretty face and Livvy hoped that one day a man would love her for what lay beneath the beauty.
“I don’t want that for me. I’m going to be a wonderfully indulgent aunt to the nieces and nephews my sisters give me. Besides, loving someone is painful and hurts when you lose them.”
Phoebe frowned. “Why would you lose them?”
Livvy looked away in case Phoebe saw what she was not saying.
“We lost grandfather and then father and mother. I don’t cope with grieving very well.”
“That is utter rot, Livvy! You are not a coward. How dare you give up your hopes and dreams just because you have lost loved ones? Many people lose family, husbands and wives, and go on to love again. If you won’t be honest then I will. You don’t want to risk loving again because Lord Ryder hurt you.”
Ferocious Phoebe was back and she was right. The pain Livvy felt when Will left had been unbearable and she had no wish to ever experience that again.
“I do not want to discuss him, Phoebe, furthermore how do you know what it’s like to love someone that way?”
“I don’t,” Phoebe said, flashing a wide smile. “But I have spoken to many people about this, Livvy, and all say that love is something you do not plan for and cannot halt once two people meet who are fated for each other.”
Livvy swung her sister’s hand for several steps, mulling over the words as they walked down the narrow, windy lane.
“Perhaps you are right, but the pain is something I have no wish to ever experience again, Phoebe. Therefore, I have a feeling no man will meet my exacting standards and fall at my feet declaring his undying adoration and love. No, I shall pin all my hopes on you and Bella receiving just such a declaration.”
Thankfully Phoebe didn’t say anything further as they had reached the village. She just harrumphed as the sisters walked over the bridge and down the main street.
Twoaks was a lively village, not too big yet not too small either, with neat stone cottages and shops that were usually bustling with activity even on a brisk winter’s morning.
“Step to the side, sisters,” Livvy directed as two carts being pushed by men involved in a heated debate rumbled by.
“Don’t step in that!”
“I see it, Livvy,” Bella said, limping around a large pile of horse manure.
“Good day, Mrs Casey!” Phoebe called to the elderly lady who was sitting on her p
orch, as she had every day for as long as Livvy could remember.
Being born and raised close to a village was both a gift and a curse as far as Livvy was concerned. She loved being part of the community and sharing the highs and lows of those she knew. However, it had been hard, since their father’s death, to hide their situation from people who knew them so well. Livvy hated lying, yet she had become skilled at it and that saddened her.
“I think we could make that with a bit more ribbon. Red I think,” Phoebe said dragging Livvy to look in a shop window. Pressing her face to the glass she studied the pretty bonnet on display. “You have that bonnet with the hideous grey ribbon that makes you look insipid, Livvy. It will do perfectly for what I have in mind.”
Livvy thought of the coins they had stolen and the few she had in her reticule. “I think we can manage a piece of ribbon,” she said, ushering her sisters through the door. “However, I protest to looking insipid in that bonnet. In fact, I will go so far as saying I look fetching.
Phoebe snorted. “Fetching, you look bilious, and that is on a good day.”
As they were now inside the shop Livvy could not answer so she hissed instead.
“It seems something is hissing inside your shop, Mr Todd,” Phoebe said loudly to the proprietor as he came forward to greet them.
“Hissing, Miss Langley?” he said, looking alarmed and quickly glancing around his shop for anything that could make such a noise. “I cannot think what it would be.”
“Good morning, Mr Todd, don’t worry I believe the noise was outside,” Livvy reassured the proprietor whilst sending her sister a dark look.
“I’m sure you’re right, Miss Olivia.” He gave the door a final look. “Are you looking for anything in particular?”
“Red ribbon,” Phoebe said promptly.
The shop was a riot of colour. Braids, buttons and ribbons covered every inch. There were trimmings in every shade and size.
“I will show you all we have,” Mr Todd said, beginning to lay ribbons before them on the counter.
“I think this is too thin,” Bella pushed one aside.
“Too red,” Phoebe said, pushing another aside.
