by D. J. Manly
I dumped the letters on the table beside him. “I have something for you,” I said softly so the others wouldn’t hear.
He gave me the once-over. “Not interested.”
“Not that; well, that too if you want it, but I have money, five grand. What about that?”
He put the letters down and stared at me. “You got five grand?”
“My brother is going to bring it to me. I’ll give it all to you if you make sure I make it out of here alive.”
He met my gaze. I finally had his attention. “That’s it? That’s all I have to do?”
“Get me moved into your cell block.”
He picked up the letters again. “No.”
“What do you mean, no?”
“I’ll protect you but you’re not sharing my cell.”
“Why not? How in hell can you protect me if you’re not with me?”
“I bunk alone.”
“You think I’m going to molest you or something?”
He gave me an ironic look.
“It’s ridiculous so what’s the problem? I bunk with you, Mendez, or no deal.”
“Well, I guess you’ll be fodder then for Hitler’s sons.” He walked over to the other counter.
I followed. “When I say I want your protection, I want it totally, Diego, and Duncan must think I’m your boy. I want you to request that I—”
He put down the letters again. “Get the money and we’ll talk. Now go to work; the guard will be on our backs if you don’t.”
I felt as if I’d gotten somewhere with him. Now, if only I could survive until Saturday.
When it was time to go back to our cells, I grabbed Diego’s arm and pulled him aside. He gave me that look but luckily I didn’t land on the floor. “Listen, can I have an advance?”
“Advance on what?”
“I need your protection until visiting day. I got three days to go. You want your money, then take care of me, okay?”
He didn’t reply, just walked away but I had a feeling he wanted that money enough to try to keep me alive until the weekend. Damn it, Alvaro, you better have that money.
Duncan was behind me in the line at breakfast, and I looked around nervously for Diego. When Duncan reached around to put a hand on my crotch, Diego showed up beside him. “That’s mine, Duncan. I wouldn’t touch it if I were you.”
I saw Diego’s eyes glint dangerously, and had the satisfaction of seeing Duncan withdraw his hand. “This isn’t settled, Mendez.” He pushed ahead of me in line and Diego took his place behind me.
“Don’t say anything,” he said to me. “If you’re my slut, you do as I say, and you don’t speak unless I tell you to.”
“Fine.”
“Now, get my breakfast and bring it to me at the table.”
“What?”
“Just do it,” he grunted and walked off.
“I need a second tray,” I told the guy serving. “I’m bringing Mendez his breakfast.”
“You’re Mendez’s bitch!” He laughed. “Hey,” he called out to anyone who was within earshot, “Mendez has a bitch.”
Everyone laughed. And I was embarrassed as hell but I was still breathing.
I brought the two trays to where Diego sat and put them down, taking a seat across from him.
“Come over here and sit beside me.”
“What for?”
“I said so. Come on.”
I got up and went to sit beside him. All eyes were on us. “Now feed me a bite of toast.”
I stared at him as if he’d lost his mind.
“Don’t make them think you’re fighting me, or it’s over.”
I lifted the toast and he took a bite.
“Okay, that’s enough. Eat.”
“I don’t get this.”
“You don’t know the rules and you need to know them if you’re going to live. If we play this game, you got to do what I tell you, or don’t waste my time.”
“Then I need to be in your cell.”
“I told you, I want to see the money first, then we’ll talk.”
“My brother knows you.”
“Really?” He didn’t seem too interested.
“He says you were something once.”
Diego didn’t comment.
“He’s in a gang, my brother.”
Diego took his tray and stood up. “Then he’s an idiot. He’s going to end up dead.”
I stood up as well and followed him.
He stopped and glanced at me over his shoulder. “Where you going?”
“With you.”
“To the can?”
“Look, I need to shower and … well, I’m too scared to shower alone.”
He sighed. “Okay, give me a minute and I’ll go with you.”
“Thanks.”
“Yeah, just get that cash.”
A half hour later, I was standing beside Diego in the shower room trying not to ogle him or to get a hard-on. I failed on both accounts. Damn, he had a beautiful body but while I was studying it, I spotted at least two places that might have been scars from a knife and a bullet. He had had a tattoo once on his forearm but it had been grated off.
When the Aryans came in, Diego turned off the water and reached over and turned off my taps as well. “Let’s go.” He threw a towel at me.
“Well, well,” Duncan said, looking Diego up and down, “aren’t you a sight.”
Diego wrapped the towel around his waist and I put mine in front of me.
Duncan stripped off his clothes and laid them aside. He and his three confreres blocked the exit.
Diego made it obvious that he too was looking Duncan up and down. “Um, well, well,” he echoed, “you, on the other hand, aren’t.”
Duncan’s expression darkened. “One of these times,” he sneered, “I’m going to have that ass of yours, Mendez. It will be mine. You’ll be begging for more.”
Diego threw back his head and laughed. “You take my ass? You couldn’t handle my ass, you Nazi fuck. Now, stop beating your chest, you ape, and get out of my way.”
Duncan put up his hands and stepped to the side but his move forced me to brush by him in a very intimate way, and it was damn disturbing.
Diego stood in front of the sink and started to put shaving cream on his face as the Nazi group laughed and went to the showers. Diego kept one eye on the mirror the whole time.
“Aren’t you scared to talk to them like that?” I asked him.
“Of what?” He stroked the razor across his jaw.
“Those guys, what they could do.”
“No.”
“What if they jumped us in there? It’s three to two.”
“Ah, excuse me”—he glanced at me—“three to one.”
“Not nice. Okay, so I’m no superman but I could have helped you.”
“I doubt that.” He shook the cream off his razor and rinsed it. “Don’t worry. They wouldn’t attack me like that. They’d wait to ambush me someplace quieter. Look,” he said, pointing up.
I squinted. “Damn, there’s a camera. Isn’t that illegal?”
He laughed. “Not in here. And there are none in the shower room itself, as far as I know.” He winked.
God, he was such a hunk.
We dressed and left the shower room. I shadowed him for a while, which annoyed him. Finally, he told me to go away somewhere.
I went to see my teacher, then worked in the mail room, more than aware of the looks I was getting from the Nazis and their biker friends.
That evening, I played checkers with Kimbo in the commons room. Diego was upstairs in his cell. I made sure I knew where he was. When Kimbo beat me at the game and we decided to call it quits, I quickly made my way to Diego’s cell.
He was reading on his bunk, not bothering to look up as I came in. “Whatcha reading?” I asked.
He looked at me. “The Autobiography of Malcolm X.”
“Is it good?”
“Yeah.” He went back to reading.
“What
if I don’t get the money? Will you just throw me to the wolves?”
He put the book down on his chest. “You need to toughen up.”
“How?”
“Learn to fight. How in the hell did you get in here anyway, a little girlie boy like you?”
I sat in the chair by the desk. He didn’t say anything about that. “I’m not a girlie boy.”
“You look like one.”
“I can’t help the way I look. I’m innocent. I’m in here for my brother.”
He laughed.
“What?”
“‘I’m innocent’ are probably the two most common words heard in here.”
“It’s true in my case. I took the rap for my brother. He said I wouldn’t see time.”
“Nice brother you got.”
“So, answer the question. Will you help me if Alvaro doesn’t get the cash?”
“Why should I?”
“To be a decent human being.”
“If I was a decent human being, I wouldn’t be in here.”
“Come on, Diego.”
“Listen, I’m up for parole in a year. Already you got Duncan looking to challenge me again because of you. I’m trying to stay clean so I can get out of here.”
“I heard you weren’t up for parole right away.”
“I’ve been working with potential gang members, doing some work for the gang squad. The parole board upped my hearing. I may have a shot at a job on the anti-gang squad when I get out. I can’t risk getting into it with Duncan and his Hitler boys over a nice piece of ass.”
“I didn’t know,” I said. At least I was a nice piece of ass. “But you’d risk it for the cash?”
“Damn right; it would give me a start when I got out. I haven’t saved that much in here, only get two dollars a week.”
I nodded. “If I become your … you know … stay with you, will Duncan back off?”
“I doubt it. He’s always wanted to get to me. Now he has an excuse.”
“Why? What’s he got against you?”
“It’s just a fight for dominance. Nothing personal.”
“That tattoo on your arm, was that from your gang?”
“Yes.”
“Did it hurt coming off?”
“Yes, it hurt. I did it myself. But it hurt a hell of a lot more keeping it on.” He picked up his book again.
“Please let me move in here with you, Diego. You can teach me to fight. Please?”
“I’ll talk to Michaels tomorrow.”
On my way back to the cell, Duncan caught me and placed a hand on my arm, yanking me closer. “So, what’s it like, getting fucked by the beautiful yet deadly Diego Mendez?”
“It’s a shame you’re never going to find out,” I replied, pulling away as I glanced at the guard standing a few feet away.
“Listen,” he said, releasing my arm, “let’s call a truce. We can protect you from all the other predators in here.”
“What’s the catch?”
“You help us nail Mendez. I want that sweet ass of his.”
“Forget it.”
“Listen, when he’s gone, you’ll be alone. Who will protect you then?”
“I’ll have to cross that bridge when I come to it.”
“You have my word and that of the brotherhood that no harm will come to you. You just have to lead Mendez to—”
“The slaughter? No thanks.”
Duncan’s lip curled into a snarl. “Then you’ve just made yourself my enemy. I want you to give a little message to your boyfriend. He’s never leaving this place alive.”
The words sent chills up and down my spine. And I stressed about it all night because I didn’t have an opportunity to warn Diego before bed count.
“I suspect Mendez already knows that anyway,” Kimbo told me in the dark as I lay there on my bunk staring up at the ceiling.
“Yeah, I suppose he does,” I replied softly, but I didn’t want anything to happen to him.
The next morning at head count, the guard called out, “Torres, you’re moving today.”
There were some wolf whistles from the others standing nearby who had probably guessed where, and a stony glare from Duncan.
Kimbo glanced at me and whispered, “How’d you manage that?”
“Money.”
“Money? You’re going to pay Mendez to protect you?”
“Damn right. Mendez is no altruist but he wants cash.”
“Where you getting this money from? I’m sure it’s not just petty change.”
“Can’t say right now. Tell you later.”
As soon as head count was over, I went in search of Diego. I found him standing in line for breakfast but he was way ahead of me. I waited patiently with my tray and at the first opportunity I broke out of the line and went after Diego. He was sitting in his usual place in the corner, all alone.
I slipped in across from him with my empty tray. He glanced at my tray and then away but he didn’t say anything. “Duncan told me that he’s planning to kill you,” I said breathlessly, “that you’ll never leave here alive.”
He looked at me again, no expression on his face. “Is that so?”
“Yes, don’t you care? He asked me to help him, offered me protection to do it. I said no.”
He went back to eating.
“Diego?”
He looked up. “Yeah?”
“He’s going to ambush you somewhere, rape and kill you.”
He laughed. He actually laughed. “What else is new? He’s been dreaming about that for a long time, Torres. Tell me something I don’t know.”
“The guard told me I’m moving today.”
“Remind me to buy you a housewarming gift.”
“Get serious. Thanks for that.”
He shrugged. “If you get on my nerves, out you go.” He stood.
“Can I come with you to shower?”
“Are you going to shower without water the way you breakfast without food?”
I mumbled under my breath about him being a smart-ass and I heard him laugh. He had a nice laugh, deep and hearty, and it amazed me how he could laugh after hearing that someone wanted to kill him. But I realized that I didn’t live in the same world he did.
I watched him take off his clothes and climb under the water. There were two other inmates showering close by and they were watching too. It didn’t matter if you were into men or not; Diego’s body was something to behold.
I was hard again and I chastised myself for that. It was hard to hide and I couldn’t jack off in the shower room.
I let the water run over me and tried to relax, thinking that might make my erection subside. It didn’t. I could still see Diego out of the corner of my eye and when he moved his soapy palms over his penis, my balls did the high jump. I couldn’t help picturing that cock inside of me, or Diego’s hot mouth on mine.
I’d always dreamt of a big, muscular man with a beautiful face and a thick cock. I’d always dreamt of being swept away, possessed … taken in a way that was all-encompassing.
Diego would have made many of my gay friends at home beg for it. He was the stereotype of the strong, silent bad boy who would take what he wanted when he wanted and kick your ass out of his bed in the morning. He was never the guy you ended up with but he was the one night of hot sex you never forgot.
He was saying something to me now and I shook myself out of my X-rated Harlequin romance novel and stared at him, hoping to hell he didn’t notice that my cock was standing at attention. But of course, how could he not notice?
“Are you finished?” he asked. There was a smirk on his face.
I nervously reached for the taps. “Yeah.”
“Nice,” he said softly, his gaze settling on my cock. “Very nice.”
We were alone. The other two were gone. Touch me. I cleared my throat. “I get that way in the shower.” I picked up the towel and covered myself up. “It’s been a thing with me, you know.”
He stood there leisurely drying himself
. I looked everywhere but at his cock.
“A thing?” He gave a short laugh
“I…” I began to pull on my pants before I’d even dried off. “Yeah.”
He was laughing again as I followed him to the sink. When Diego started to shave, I let my irritation show. “It’s not nice to make fun of people.”
He glanced at me. “You are just too cute.”
“Cute?” I croaked.
“You sounded like a little boy just then. Torres, this is not the fifth grade. You got a hard-on, big deal. I get them all the time. You like my body. I get that. It just means this place hasn’t stolen your humanity yet. Embrace it.”
I nodded. We didn’t speak anymore until we left the bathroom. “I have to go to see my teacher. Guard told me I’d be moving in at lunch.”
He walked off.
Mrs. Crosby and I met in a private area in the library. She had grey hair and spectacles which sat on the edge of her nose. She was looking at my school records. “You were a good student, Yandal,” she said. “It’s too bad you got into trouble.”
What could I say to that? “Call me Yan.”
“I’ve made your work program and spoken to the warden.” She handed me a paper. “I asked him to give you more study time. It won’t do to put you in the classroom with the others. You’re much too advanced. We should be able to catch you up to graduate this year if you work hard.”
I was pleased about that. “I was thinking about college.”
“We’ll talk about that. I’m sure we can arrange something via correspondence. What programs are you interested in, Yan?”
I thought for a moment. “I think I’d like to do something in the counseling area, work with teens in trouble, you know.”
“Very honorable, okay. I’ll see what’s available. Now we need to get to work,” she said. “One step at a time.”
My time in the mail room had been cut to two days a week. I was required to work on my studies for the other three. I didn’t mind. I felt secure in that room with a guard on the door and the teacher was in and out to answer any questions.
That day I took my lunch and then was told to move my stuff to the cell on the second floor. Again as I took the stairs, all eyes were upon me, and there were some inmates calling out things like, “Look whose ass is going to be smiling tonight.”
Diego wasn’t in his cell when I walked in and I wasn’t sure which bunk to take so I laid my stuff on the desk and headed for the cafeteria. As I did, two Nazis sandwiched me and walked with me all the way to the kitchen. One of them goosed me and the other whispered disgusting things in my ear. As I got to the cafeteria, I met a guard at the entrance and pushed the two ugly morons to the side. “I’m Diego’s. Leave me alone.”
