by L. Ann Marie
“Thank you for naming my boy. I love it.”
He kisses her cheek. “It’s perfect.”
Lily gives me a shy look. “I need to use the bathroom.”
Amanda kicks us out. Jeremy takes Phoenix and we all wait in the hall. I get my drink in me and relish the burn going down. Everything is better now that she’s awake.
“I need to tell you this, but hope it does not take away the happiness you are feeling.” Fuck. I take a breath and nod, I’m ready. “She has some damage. It is on her right side. She will overcome it, but it will take some time. I will ask Mitch to come right away so it is not a concern. She will overcome it. Today celebrate with her. She is happy and healthy just like your sons.”
I say his words over again. “Her story wasn’t written. It is now. We’ll get through whatever we need to.”
He smiles. “You will and yes it is now my Brother.”
I’m so relieved to hear that. Jeremy laughs. Dakota walks away pulling his phone. He’s calling Mitch. I dial my dad and tell him. He surprises me yelling, “Thank fuck!” I just laugh. I tell Jessie to call Brantley and let everyone know but we need some time. He’ll text everyone.
Amanda lets us back in. Jeremy puts Phoenix right back in her arm and kisses her cheek. I put Teller on her other side and Amanda motions me to the hall. “I took her IV and catheter out. She has some other issues that will need...” I put my hand up.
“Dakota told me about her right side. He’s on with Mitch right now.”
She nods and pulls me down kissing my cheek. “I’m glad you never give up. You’re a good man Little Ben. She deserves a good man.” I have no idea what to say so I throw her chin. She laughs and goes to talk to the nurse.
Everything goes by too fast. I can’t take in her every move and smile while people come in and out talking to me. They’ve all been here showing support for us so I don’t stop it, but wish for night to get here so I can spend time with her and our boys.
I put Teller on her right arm and give her his bottle to feed him. She’s so fuckin’ happy she has tears again. I smile because I actually got that from her.
Pres comes in and goes right to her. “I am so fuckin’ happy to see you smile. It’s been too long Lily.” I laugh.
“It has apparently. My poor husband has been left with two babies.” She’s smiling up at him, but I see hurt in her eyes.
I shake my head no, but Pres answers for me. “He did everything as if you were right beside him showing him how Lily. He never missed a beat, never regretted the time you were sleeping. Everyone will tell you how he demanded you be by his side and your boys stay with you. That’s how you ended up here and not at the rehabilitation center. He wouldn’t allow you to be away from him for even one night. He showed everyone what all in means.”
She looks at me with tears. “Thank you. I love you too.”
I just nod. Mitch comes bouncing in with a smile. Pres takes Teller and the bottle and moves away so Mitch can talk to her. “Jeremy, get Phoenix and follow me. We’ll be in their room Little Ben.” I smile at his order and watch them go. He just wanted to hold the baby.
While Mitch is talking to her about some kind of brace-glove and boot, Lily tells her about her eye. Dakota didn’t say anything about her eye so I pay closer attention. She didn’t see the boys on the bed earlier and she doesn’t see when someone is on her side. Mitch does a finger thing and tells her it’s peripheral. She doesn’t seem concerned, but I note it so I don’t do anything to make that feel like a bigger problem for her. I agree to take Lily in for some scans and Mitch bounces with her little clap. Lily is smiling when she leaves. I’m glad Dakota thought to call right away.
I bend and kiss her, happy to get a kiss back. “I’ve missed you Little Mamma.”
“It feels surreal. I feel like I just woke up and a whole month has passed. It was just yesterday that I saw you last.” I don’t know what to say so I kiss her lips again.
“That will never get old,” Uncle Danny says walking in. Brenda squeals and runs to Lily. I hug Uncle Danny and follow him out. “I’ll see her when it calms down. Everyone is happy for you LB and so fuckin’ proud of how you handled everything.”
I don’t know what to say. No one is in the boys’ room so I start down the stairs. “How did you know? Did you see it?”
I stop and look at him. “No. Her story wasn’t written. I just held on hoping it was long enough that the ancestors had to write something.”
He laughs as if I’m kidding and slaps my back.
Chapter Fourteen
Four days
Lily
He carries me back into the room and I smile the whole way. “I can walk you know.”
He kisses my head. “You don’t have to.”
“Mitch said I’ll be walking out of here today. You’ll have to catch me later to carry me anywhere.”
He laughs. We turn toward the opening door. Mitch and Jess come in and I notice how much they look alike standing there together. They both have those big infectious smiles. “I’m so glad you could make it today. Jess has everything ready for you.”
“Thanks Jess.”
She comes over and takes my hand. “My mom can tell you how it all works. I made it so it’s lighter and pretty for you.” I laugh watching her put the pink brace on me. When she’s done I move my hand and my fingers move.
“Look honey!” I give him a finger wave and sign, ‘I love you’.
He laughs and signs it back. Mitch is bouncing. She explains the band and puts a mark on me for tomorrow. She tells me they’ve been making them so long they almost don’t need the fittings and measurements anymore. Jess rolls her eyes shaking her head.
I get the brace on my foot and Jess loosens my sneaker then slides it on. “Perfect.”
I agree. This is awesome. I don’t remember what happened, but not being able to walk right or hold things sucks. If I could remember maybe it wouldn’t be so weird. I can’t complain after hearing how Little Ben fought everyone to keep me with him and the boys. He did all the hard stuff while all I did was sleep and wake up.
“What we’re doing is retraining your muscles to do what they’ve always done.” I nod. “You know I love my doctors; they help me figure things out when I need them, but they’re always wrong about people. Since your hip and lower back are responding and holding you up, I think it’s just a matter of time. Don’t get too impatient and make every little thing you accomplish another milestone. Walking is a little different, you need to think and plan the movement at first. Let’s try for one of those milestones.”
I slide off the table and take Little Ben’s hand with my new braced hand. I stand and don’t feel any different. He steps back and I try for a step forward. My foot drags. “Good! You lifted it up Lily. Now, close your eyes and think about what that looks like. Lift your heel, then toes and knee and take that step.” She’s so happy I smile and do as she says. “Yes! Just like that!”
I open my eyes and Little Ben is smiling at me. “One more for me Little Mamma.”
“Oh, I love the Little Mamma!” Mitch claps.
I laugh, she’s so damn cute. I step and do it right then take another. “I got this.” I pull my hand away and use my pointer finger on the center of his palm. “With one finger.” I step beside him and turn.
He laughs and hugs me. “You got this Lily. Like everything else you do, you make it look easy.”
Mitch claps again. “Go and conquer the world Lily. Jess can adjust anything you need. She has one she’s working on for a different shoe, she’ll explain when she’s done with it.”
“Thank you so much. It feels good to walk right again. I don’t really know how to thank you.” I hug her.
“Go live your dream Lily. Everyone deserves...”
“A future,” Little Ben and Jess say laughing.
Mitch gives them a look. “Well they do.” She walks out and I smile. I’ve never seen her mad.
“You shouldn’t mess with her. H
er ability to believe that is what keeps her motivated to do these miraculous designs for us.” They both give me a surprised look.
Jess looks at Little Ben. “I’ll go apologize for us.” He throws her chin.
I take his hand. “I feel like walking. Want to go see the horses?”
“How about I drive to the Therapy Center and we walk from the lot to the stable.”
“Oh ye of little faith.” He makes a face at me. “Maybe you’re right.” I smile for him knowing he’ll smile right back and he does. He drives then we walk.
I’m trying to give him the time he missed with me, but I miss my little misters. As we’re walking through the stable he turns me. “You want to go pick up the boys?”
“Oh my God yes! I wanted to spend time with you, but I miss them.”
He laughs. “Me too. We’ll go steal them back from my mom and I’ll get us home.” He pulls his phone and walks away.
I laugh and walk to a door to pet a horse that’s watching me. “Hi there, big guy.” He pushes his head against me and I lose my balance falling on my ass laughing.
“Fuck. I’ll call you back.”
I laugh harder at his expression. “I’m okay. Relax.”
“I just spent a fuckin’ month watching you sleep. I don’t know how to relax with you!”
Dammit! I feel the tears fall. “I’m sorry, but I don’t remember the month you just had. I woke up to two babies and a body that didn’t work! I didn’t cause that month Little Ben.”
He’s shocked. His hands push his hair away and he lifts me up. “You’re right, I did. I don’t mean anything, but I don’t ever want to see you hurt. Ever. I’m rethinking more kids so you won’t have that pain.”
I start laughing and can’t stop. He kisses me and I stop. “I’m sorry, but I’m a woman – the very definition of pain. You can’t take it all away. I don’t even want you to. Although a cure for PMS wouldn’t go unappreciated. What happened isn’t your fault, honey. Someone shot a missile, I can’t even believe I’m saying that, but they did and I got hurt because of it. I don’t blame you, so stop beating yourself up. I’m going to fall, I’m going to hurt and I want more kids, so deal with it like you do everything else. Now take me to steal my boys back and relax.”
He looks at me weighing all I said. I love how he does that. He smiles. “Yes ma’am.” He bends to kiss me. I hear clapping and laugh. “I think we have an audience,” he says against my lips.
I turn and smile. “Next show at six.” I turn back and whisper to him, “Get me out of here.” He laughs and lifts me up.
***
Little Ben
My mom didn’t think we’d last as long as we did. I’m still smiling. We make it into the house and get the boys changed and start feeding them. “I love this. I can do everything!”
She’s so excited to hold a bottle. I feel like a shit for yelling at her about getting hurt. I did that. I told Dakota to shoot the fuckin’ missile down without checking where she was then I yelled at her. Fuckin’ jerk is what I am. It’s good that she didn’t just let it go. I didn’t even realize I was shielding her until she said it. I was making decisions for her without her input. I have to watch that. Getting her back was a gift that shouldn’t be a prison for her. Being an old lady is already a restricted position. I have no right to take more from her. We’re sitting side-by-side on the couch so I bend and I kiss her smile. “I love you Little Mamma.”
She smiles and starts burping Phoenix. “Love you too, my handsome Prince.”
When the boys are done, I move the table and put the boys in their seats on it so they can see us. I hit the stereo and put my hand out for her. “Amanda said Bob learned to walk better by dancing. It gives you all the different foot movements so your steps are sure. Dance with me Lily.”
She giggles, making me smile, then takes my hand. We start slow then move to faster. She’s laughing and I twirl her seeing the boys smiling. “They like to see you laugh.”
She looks. “Teller is kicking his feet.”
I stop and pick him up. He laughs and I’m surprised. I’ve never heard him laugh. “Hold him, I have to get something.” I get the harnesses from their room and put one on her then put him in it. “If it gets to be too much tell me.” She nods dancing around with him. He’s laughing with her. That’s so fuckin’ cute. I record them with my phone and send it to my mom. Phoenix makes his noise reminding me he’s here and wants to dance too. I put the harness on and dance with him. He doesn’t laugh, but he’s smiling. When I move closer to Lily and dance with her he laughs, she kisses him then twirls away and he laughs again. Fuckin’ cute. She misses a step and trips, but I catch her. I hold her waist and slow us down. She’s tired, but I wait until she says she’s had enough. It doesn’t take long.
I get Teller back in his seat and he kicks his feet. “You like dancing my little man?” His arms move up and down like a little bird making me laugh. “Cute.” I put Phoenix on the side of him and turn them so they can see each other. They’re moving in their seats. Lily is just watching them. “They’re so fuckin’ cute.”
“They are. I can’t believe they’re here.”
I think about her being in a coma. She went to sleep one day and woke up with kids. That has to be a hell of a shock. “You’ve adjusted to all this so easily I forget that to you it was one day.”
“I guess when you’re the one taking care of all of us it’s hard to see it as one day. It’s really weird to be told about a month I didn’t live in.”
“I’m glad you’re here now and we have this.” I pull her on my lap and kiss her. She doesn’t let me go and I’m hard before she pulls away. Jesus.
She has a confused look on her face. “I don’t know what I can do. Am I allowed to make love after the babies? How long do I have to wait? I should have asked Jess.”
Fuck. “The doctor said six weeks.”
“I feel fine. I haven’t had any problems have I?” She turns red.
“No baby. You had a pad under you right after but there were no problems. We kept you clean and dry so you wouldn’t get an infection. You didn’t.”
She looks away. “You did that?”
I turn her face to me. “I would do anything to make sure you’re safe and comfortable. The last thing your body needed was having to fight an infection. It isn’t something to be embarrassed about. It was a medical thing, nothing more.” I kiss her lips.
“So if I haven’t had any problems and I feel fine, I can have sex?” She looks hopeful.
“No. You have never had sex. Love makes all the difference in the world, if you don’t feel it, that’s sex.”
She rolls her eyes at me. “Shit you make this harder than it needs to be.”
I laugh. “I don’t mean to. I can call Amanda or Samantha and ask, but the doctor said six weeks. Of course you were in a coma for most of that.” She’s not smiling. “We can work around...” My phone rings. “Hold on babe.” I smile when she growls at me. “Yeah Tess?” She doesn’t usually call me.
“Stop messing with her and tell her if she feels fine, she’s fine. We healed her and that means everything. She’s confused enough!”
“Yes ma’am.” I keep the smile off my face, but I want to laugh. She doesn’t say anymore so I look at my phone. “She hung up.”
“Tess called to yell at you for me?” She’s smiling.
I look at her. Tess doesn’t yell at people. She saw this conversation and called to yell at me. What the fuck is up with that? “Apparently I need to stop messing with you. She said if you feel fine, you’re fine.”
She cracks up. “I heard.”
“I’ll make dinner. We need to wait until after Alex shows.” I look at my watch. “Which will be in a little more than an hour.” I slide her over.
“What ever happened to the quickie?” She pouts.
I hold her chin. “It’s been a month of me not loving your body. There will be nothing quick about this.” I watch her shiver and kiss her lips.
>
“Fuckin’ men,” she says as I’m walking to the kitchen and smile.
I get dinner on the table and bring the boys in, sitting them so they can see us and each other. Alex shows early and Lily has a big smile as he sits with us. I roll my eyes at her and make him a plate. She loses the smile realizing he’s not leaving sooner but eating with us and I laugh.
“Alex is working with Jared in the Lab,” I tell her.
“Today I helped Trapper in the garage. He sees with his fingers and ears. I showed him how to put the new tires on. He has smart fingers.” He’s smiling, proud of Trapper.
“That’s good. Jax said he’s a good mechanic.”
He nods bobbing his head up and down. “He is. The kids even listen to him now. Jax says he schools them even though they don’t go to school ‘cause it’s summer right?” He’s confused.
Lily laughs. “You’re right Alex but ‘schools them’ means teaches them.”
“Then he does school them in the summer. Ha. Summer school!” He laughs.
She leans over and kisses his cheek. “You’re cute. I like your jokes.”
He’s beaming. He’s so fuckin’ cute. I hope that never changes. The boys start moving around and Lily tells him about dancing with them and the boys laughing.
He looks at them. “I never heard them laugh. You make them happy Lily. I’m glad you woke up to make everyone happy and laugh.”
I laugh. “Me too.”
He’s bobbing his head again. “Dad says you never gave up and wouldn’t let her go. That’s why she’s awake, ‘cause you believed. We believe too ‘cause that’s what Brothers do.”
Lily starts crying. Fuck. She stands up and walks out. “Keep watch on them Brother. I’ll be right back.”
“We’re good.” He starts eating.
I walk out looking for her. Her steps didn’t go far. She’s in the living room. “Babe?”
She looks at me with tears rolling down her face. “Brenda said you wouldn’t leave me. She fought with you about it. Phoenix died and Jeremy held on to him and got him back. You did that for me didn’t you? You wouldn’t let me go. Did you see all this happening?” She pulls her shirt up and wipes her face. It’s such a little kid thing to do, just seeing it throws relief on me and I have no idea why.
