by ROUNAK PURI
"MESSAGE FROM MASTER: How's it going?
"MESSAGE FROM Jenny: They're not attacking" I sent back.
"MESSAGE FROM MASTER Well done whatever it is. Be careful
I stood still as a buzzard stopped circling over head and landed next to a Roomba near by. It watched me in a calculated way, then suddenly the Roomba lept up at went for the buzzards neck. There was the smell of electricity and burnt buzzard . In minutes several Roomba ripped the bird apart then spent more time hoovering the feathers. I nervously grasped my self defense carrot.
Eventually, I stopped sweeping. I was surrounded by them now. They could have easily over whelmed me. They paused for a second and I began to do the movements Pixel did looking for a plug to charge from. They kept getting out of the way. Then one turned round and offered me his charge terminal. This was the move that Pixel danced to indicate she needed charging. once Pixel brought a friend I called Pixellet. I had noticed that sometimes a well charged robot would buddy charge a low charge one. One of them turned around and I put the battery to the terminals to charge. I lay there for ages slowly charging.
"Weird isn't it?" I said over the radio.
"What?" said Rockwood.
"How we end up being our parents," I said.
"Really"
"Yeh I mean here I am like my mum cleaning up while back indoors your like my second step dad, legless and with another woman on her back," I said.
"LOL," said Rockwood.
Eventually, my collar told me it was charged and I moved back into a sweeping motion this time moving back to the escape hatch. After being very slow and careful I got back in.
"We have power!" I announced eating my self-defence implement.
I went over and charged Kayla's collar. Then sat down and let Rockwood hold the wires while I was charged.
"How's that?" he said.
"About 24 hours of charge," I said. I was irritated I had a mouth cut from a sharp root vegetable.
"My plan time, could you do it again?" said Rockwood.
"Yes I guess I could do my impression of a Roomba." hang on isn't that what we would technically call being a cleaner? Technically the Roombas are doing an impression of me.
"Then I have a plan. Get some rest and drink some water. You have a phone connection you can walk up that hill and call for help" said Rockwood.
"In these shoes?" I said. It looked like a big hill. It sounded like a simple plan. Like - we will walk to the south pole and back what could be less complex than that? Unfortunately, simple plans turn out to be the roads to unfortunate and terrifying results...
I looked at Kayla she was coming too. I went over and knelt by her.
"I thought I had lost you," I said quietly.
"Did you check your pockets?" said Kayla.
I'd found a sponge which I used to soak up the blood . Rockwood took it and squeezed it into a cup then used his fangs to drink.
"Vampires," I said to Kayla.
"I'm not a vampire, I'm a sanguinarian" said Rockwood. He looked down "Normally I hate drinking left overs but it's not bad" he said looking like he was drinking a fine wine. I could see the LEDs down his back starting to flash faster.1
"The good news is Kayla has recovered faster than I had hoped. She's OK enough for me to inject a micro surgery robots into her. With them I can get some of the last internal bleeding stopped then she can be moved. All you have to do is the slightly dangerous task of walking up the hill to get better reception" said Rockwood.2
He loaded up a microsurgery robot from the medical kit into a syringe to inject it. The robot was tiny.
"Is this going to hurt Master?" asked Kayla.2
"With the amount of pain I'm blocking in your collar, you could have a Elephant dance a tango on you and you wouldn't notice," said Rockwood.
"OK" said Kayla as fell asleep.
"It's quiet out there," I said.
"Almost too quiet. " he said "I don't trust them. They are up to something".
I crawled over to him and kissed him.15
"What was that?" said Rockwood slightly surprised.
"That was my number 8 kiss for luck. If I die out there I didn't what you to hear about it second hand" I said, then brush in hand walked out. My earring went from orange to pink with fear.7
"What do you see?" said Rockwood over my collar.
The plane was surrounded by even more Roombas practically as far as the eye could see.
"The Roombas have brought some more of their friends to the party," I said softly.
"You sure know how to be reassuring." said Rockwood.
***
A few hours later I had swept the outside of the plane's wreckage. I was talking to Rockwood while he operated on Kayla.
"OK I have picked up some larger bits and forming a pile in front the Roombas. I think they had come to the conclusion I'm not a threat." I whispered.
"Good," said Rockwood. It was that kind of 'good' people say when you're on the phone but you know they are using a laptop or something while you're talking to them. In this case, he was operating on Kayla, so I didn't mind.
"I'm going up the hill now. How do.... they... make these hill things so big?" I said.
I started to sweep in a Pixel fashion. If this was a real Disney cyber princesses I could just sing to them and one happy song later I would be out of trouble. However, me being she without the voice upgrade I have to sweep my way to safety. Good to know I could save the day with my ninja cleaning skills.
"You're quiet," said Rockwood.
"I hope Senpai will notice me not complaining," I said. It was hot. I had a feeling the plan might work and realizing the good news was that Villeria's holiday was ruined. Humanity saved through ruined vacation!
I was followed up the near by hill by about 50 curious Roombas. From the top there was one bar signal strength on my collar and send a rescue text. My once high tech pristine shining silicon outfit was now dull and dusty ( I was so pleased #DEC would be so angry me looking like this) . When I got to the top of the hill I was shocked by a sight.
"OMG are you getting this?" I said looking down the other side. "It's some kind of attack".
On the other side of the hill in the distance was a NMO vehicle. It was also surrounded by more wild Roombas. I used my bracelet to be a screen for my collar cam. By zooming in I could see what was going on. The vehicle was surrounded by a number of robot bodies. There was one combat robot left which was left firing rapidly into the ground around itself. Then their gun must have jammed or run out of bullets or something. The robot stood there frozen in a kind of "oh shit' moment. Then the surrounding Roombas attacked. They scrambled over each other to sting the robot. It flailed for a moment and was completely covered in solar powered cleaners. There were so many Roombas there it looked like an ocean covered in black oil. Eventually, the robot beneath the black sea stopped moving. The Roombas chewed on it for awhile and I saw part of a tentacle being dragged away to fill a hole.
I slowly turned around to the gaggle of machines which had followed me up the hill.
"hello pixel guys!" I said in my most friendly voice. Now I was terrified.I didn't even have a self-defence carrot.
I got down on my hands and knees and started sweeping up with the brush. While I did I sent the text that Rockwood had given me. I followed Pixel's cleaning pattern. The Roombas started cleaning as well and they had clearly decided I was just another model of floor sweeping machine. There was a noise behind me. I turned round sweeping. The vehicle the other robots had arrived in was clearly being dismantled along with the occupants. Some of the Roombas on the hill with me got bored and started to go downhill to join the others chewing up the vehicle. Eventually, I got a message back from someone called "LJ", "Rescue team coming to your coordinates".1
Very slowly and very carefully I began to make my way back down the hill. I swept around the plane again climbed back into the wreckage but still managed to brake my heel doing it.
Rockwood was talking to Kayla."Your going to be fine" he said. Feeling her head.1
"I like you, your only a little bit evil Master." said Kayla.1
"You're bleeding," I said noticing the blood running down his thigh.
Rockwood looked down.
"Your bleeding Master" he corrected " and your are right in all the excitement I didn't notice," he said.
"I know you. I know you. You're my little pixey friend" said Kayla looking at me.1
"Ignore her the medication is making her a spaced out," said Rockwood.
"If you can take your trousers off I'll have a look master" I said.
"Oooooh" said Kayla.
He suffered a nasty gash crawling out of the flight deck. I had seen what he had done to the flight deck. Metal bent back like an alien birth. He had been in quite a hurry to get out of there. He stood there solidly while I sewed the wound up with a needle and thread.
"it's a shame about the people that came to rescue us... Master" I said
"That wasn't the rescue team. They were here to finish us off" Rockwood said.
"How can you be so sure?" I said pulling his flesh together.
"I've scanned through your collar cam stream. Robot military units wouldn't attach US Army missile launcher to their vehicle. The same kind of missile which shot us down. They were there in case I managed to eject out. Clearly the whole thing was designed to look like a rogue human attack. You said the crew were all tidied?"
"Yes. By the time I got out the tank was half tidied as well" I said
"No evidence but Poor them"
"They were trying to kill you ?"
"The Roombas would explain why so few American migrants managed to get to Mexico. The wild Roombas must be living on the obvious routes south" he said.6
"Well good news is the humans nearly gotyou? ... Master" I said getting back to my role as head of mockery.
"No. Someone knew I was leaving the capital. Someone who knew I would be flying south. Someone who could guess or find out my flight plan. My guess is it would be General Bitstream. I thought he was just trying to get me out of the capital. I knew it was a trap but I didn't realize it was an assassination plot. It looks like the New-humanists really want to get their bill through. My invite to the opening must have shaken them. I can figure the rest out when I get reconnected to my compute farm. " said Rockwood.
"Don't listen to master monolog" said Kayla.
"That's a shame," I said biting the thread with my teeth.
"What exactly?" said Rockwood.
"I thought I would enjoy sticking a needle in you more," I said
I finished the sewing and got a cloth and began cleaning the wound. While Rockwood pulled his trousers up I noticed the Wifi led on Kayla's collar came on. Moments later I heard another Osprey arriving. I looked out of the escape hatch. The dust thrown up by the twin blades was making the wild Roombas agitated.
Over the wifi I could hear the collective seething with the word"no! Mess!" from them.
"We better hurry up. Master" I said.
The Osprey plane didn't land but just hovered loudly above us. A stretcher was lowered down on a rope and Rockwood lifted Kayla up and put her on it. The Roombas were finally riled and started tidying the wreckage of our plane. I was like an earthquake. I could feel them biting through the fabric of the plane.
"You next Master. First law and all that" I said. I didn't mean it I just thought with his injury he should go next.
"I know you don't mean it and I'm not giving you an obvious means of escape. You're next" said Master. The rope came down and he slung it under my arms. The Roombas were in a frenzy now the plane was slowly sinking. I climbed into the open door of the plane as quickly as I could, then they dropped the rope down one more time. As the rope got close Rockwood just jumped up grabbed it and proceed to pull himself up hand over hand up the rope. Beneath him, the Roombas and plane disappeared in a wall of dust. As we took off the site cleared and I could see Roombas filling in the gouges in the ground we had made during 'landing' with plane parts.5
Wifi was on and I was geofenced, trapped again. That was probably my best chance of escape. All I had to do was kill him, let my friend die, walk through a hundred miles of desert hunted by robots, and with the danger of deranged killer Roombas to an uncertain safety. Wow was that really as good as it got - why didn't I take that?
One thing I knew I would never be angry at Pixel again. I smiled, Villeria would be deeply unhappy no Rockwood and possibly no vote, Rockwood didn't strike me as the consolation prize vote kind of guy. He got what he wanted.1
Rockwood leant over. It was loud in the plane but he spoke to me over my collar so I could hear him perfectly.
"In a few weeks, there will be and Opening of the new art Gallery of humanity. I'm one of the few cyborgs to be invited and I can bring my significant other. I was thinking of asking Villeria but now I realize I want you to come instead. You'd have to go as my pet but would you come?"
"Is that an order?" I asked him.3
"It' will be once you say yes. It will be full of Co- labs but I would like you to be there with me" he said "oh and show me that number eight kiss again" he said.28
I followed orders as we went home.4
Chapter 64/Him/Lady Zola
It was about 9:00 in the morning about five days later. I was chilling in his arms while he was 'recovering' in bed. While I had to be careful not to touch anything bandaged I was starting to feel less like I was sleeping with the enemy. It was getting harder to get to, what I had decided was my expected level of vitriol into my conversation. I told him I was going easy while he was recovering. In practice I was starting to think I had misjudged him. I mean I remembered the time he had made the Judas City security guy apologise to me. I was now in a heart vs head vs need for survival situation. Head and need for survival had decided this could be a trick. Heart was taking the minority opinion he was somehow magicaly OK and heart wasn't talking to the others. I was wondering about this when the doors to his room flung apart.2
Striding boldly past #DEC and #6502 was someone tall thin and incredibly beautiful, she marched gracefully in her high heels, in her right hand was an electronic cigarette held high. Her, tiny hat, perfectly manicured hair and only tiny hint of any make up suggested that she was an owner. Then I noticed her violet coloured eyes. She was a cyborg.4
"Commander Lady Zolaria Slaughterhouse former NMO military now director of Human studies institute
"Brooklyn, wake up. You are by far the laziest man I've ever met" she said coming in.
Rockwood turned over.
"In case you haven't heard I was injured in a plane crash, I lost my legs" said Rockwood sitting up in bed. My collar cable started to retract and I was pull towards the foot locker bed I called home.
'Message from master Into your bed
She ignored me and sat on his bed. From the comfort of my footlocker bed I could see the hint of a zip meant that the bitch's clothes were not printed and could come off. I envied and loathed anyone who could just get out of their clothes when they wanted to. The back of her outfit was gossip thin muslin you could see the LEDs blinking in a rancorous way up and down her spine. I noticed a tiny designer label 'Mr Jones' on her dress. I guess they still needed people to do the creative stuff I reminded my self.
"Well aren't you the brave hero? Douglas Bader would be proud of you. Your needed new legs ages ago, you're old ones were getting shabby " she puled back the sheets "see these new ones look much better!"2
"I liked my old legs they were worn but comfy. What do you want Zola?" Rockwood pulled the sheet back over his new muscular calves.
"and I haven't had a single answer to any of my emails" she complained.1
"Didn't you see my out of office mail sign ? What is it that you want?" said Rockwood sipping at his expresso.2
"When you asked me to be the hot back up you didn't say it would be for weeks. Weekend you said,
the weekend. I have some important work to get on with and that means I can't carry on doing nothing the way you do." she complained.
"God forbid, I keep you away from your precious meat packing factories" said Rockwood.
"Yes well you were right there, they are my precious meat packing factories. I do have other important tasks to do but I can't sit around like you doing nothing interruptible incase of a silly little emergency which will never come. I have a job the New Mechanical Order relies on me to do them."
"OK, I'll re-engage but I want a favour," said Rockwood.
"Oh What is it?" said Zola taking another drag.
"I'm taking her to the grand art opening. I want you to take her to the Mall of Humanity and find her a suitable dress"
"find who a dress?" said Zola looking around and ignoring me.
"Her, the pet there" said Rockwood pointing at me.
"Don't be silly Brooklyn, you expect me to walk into Neiman Marcus and say 'I'd like something ball suitable for my ex-boy friend's pet in silicon and could you make it go with the collar?' Really Brooklyn you'd be the laughing stock. Why on earth do you want to take her to the opening even if you could get an invite which I doubt?"1
"I'm the prime back up and I can do what I like. I like her and she makes me feel real and I want to show her off to everyone. Plus I have an invite." said Rockwood.4
"Honestly, Brooklyn to you want me to play back her collar stream to show how ridiculous that sounded?"1
She turned around and tilted her head sideways.
"I know you," said Zola looking at me again. she had a with a hint of an Swiss accent l "you're that funny one with the hilarious video?"1
"Mistress honours me" I said repeating what ever it was my collar said.
"Come here and say something funny then?" she said.
"How many slaves does it take to change a light bulb" I said.
"I don't know how many slaves does it take to change a light bulb?"
"One to hold it and 99 to turn the building around." I said again straight from the collar and with a dead pan delivery.
