by R. L. Syme
The men looked at each other and nodded. They ran around the mooring posts and jumped over to the other dock. Valc motioned for Cadha to follow, and she jumped edge to edge, just as she’d sailed so many times off the hill at Hoorn onto Papa’s ship.
Only this time, she couldn’t tumble to the ground and be held safe in her father’s arms. This time, she had to keep running.
They ran up the small gangway. The boat wasn’t as deep or wide as Valc’s small trader. She wasn’t sure the riverboat was seaworthy, and it could only have ferried the men if they’d stayed in moving water, it was so flat on the bottom. Yet being on the solid deck eased her fear that it could at least take them away from this awful place.
They pulled up the gangway and used it to push away from the dock, then dropped it into the water. Valc and the monk picked up the poles that lay on the deck and pushed themselves out into the river.
“We’re going the wrong direction,” Valc said once they were into the current.
The monk took the long pole from Valc’s hand. “Let the river carry us where it needs to go.”
“But we can’t go back into England.”
“We won’t be on the river long enough to make England. We just need to get out of the city.” The monk walked to the back of the boat and lowered the rods into the water, pushing them along to even quicker speed than they had been making.
“What do you plan to do when we get out of the city?” Valc asked.
The monk waved him off. “Go, tend to your wife. Once we’re out of Berwick, we can find a ship that will take us where we need to go. I know some traders who dock in Edinburgh. We can be there by nightfall.”
Cadha’s head was spinning. They were in Berwick? Wasn’t that Scotland? And wife? What had Valc done? Valc came to her side and put his hands on her, checking her arms and legs.
“Are you hurt anywhere?” He stopped at her wrists and looked them over.
“Your wife?” she whispered. “And who is that monk?”
“There’s much to tell you.” Valc dropped her hands and gripped the back of her head. He pressed his lips to hers and kissed her with a ferocity she could only understand after having been spared from death on more than one occasion.
The hard seat of the riverboat cut into her back and her wrists still ached and she smelled vaguely of fish and sweat and perfume, yet every part of her body sang with anticipation when he touched her. She gripped the sides of his body with her legs.
Valc groaned in the back of his throat and angled his head, forcing her mouth open, taking his kiss deeper and harder.
“You are distracting me, Valc,” she said between furious kisses.
“Stop talking,” he ordered and something tingled in her belly.
“Stop, Valc. Tell me whatever it is you need to say.”
His eyes held a dark sheen when he finally looked at her. “I don’t want to talk.”
He leaned her back onto the seat and placed one hand under her head, steadying himself atop her. The aliveness returned to her skin and her body woke again.
The monk cleared his throat and punted at the river with the long pole. Cadha peered up at him and pushed at Valc’s chest.
“We have to talk,” she said.
Valc blinked and chewed on his lower lip. “You’re right.” He sat her up and settled her against his chest. “I will tell you everything.”
“Starting with why that monk thinks I’m your wife.”
His earnest gaze pinned her and took her breath. “Because you are.” He kissed her one more time and whispered, “Or you soon will be.”
The entire landscape of her insides lit to blazing with those words and she snuggled into him while the monk punted them down the river, just out of earshot. Cadha no longer cared whether someone would follow. The desperation was over and she would soon be at rest.
Valc secured Cadha into the cabin of the trade ship on which they’d hired passage. He left her to change into the more comfortable dress Auden had produced out of his pack. After the past day and a half, Valc had learned to stop asking questions. Brother Auden waited for him on the deck, still speaking with the Scottish captain.
“He says we should reach the northern coast in a day.” Auden smiled and nodded at the broad-faced Scot. “The port Acheson uses is near his lands in Balfour.”
“Where did you leave the earl’s river boat?” Valc leaned on the rail, attempting nonchalance. The Scot did not relax, and spoke to Auden in quick, punctuated words.
“He’s still not comfortable with a woman on board.”
Valc waved at them both and placed the gold in the man’s outstretched hand. “We’ve paid for his discomfort.”
“He’s giving up his own quarters, you must understand.”
“I understand.”
The ruddy man called out to one of his crew and walked off. Valc turned to survey the long dock.
“I still would like to know how you got rid of the boat.”
Auden’s smile waned. “I left it tied up on the river. They would never stop chasing us if we scuttled it.”
“It would serve him right to have that thing at the bottom of the deepest ocean. And all the ships he’ll build to replace it.” Valc tried not to see the man’s hands on Cadha’s body, but he couldn’t help it. Every time he thought he’d managed to drown it from his mind for the last time, it would bob back to the surface.
A crewman pushed them away from the rail and slid behind them to climb the rigging. Valc’s eyes followed up the mainsail to the sky. The sun was low. They should have been out on the water already, but their captain kept putting them off, saying he had more cargo to load.
Valc couldn’t help his paranoia. There could still be men out looking for him—for Cadha. Though he doubted they could take their case before a magistrate, he knew there were other ways to settle a debt. And there were still men going to that secret room in the castle, coming up from their perfectly innocuous boats, buying girls, and going back to their homes.
“You can’t let it get to you.” Auden shifted his eyes down to Valc’s clenched fists. Valc hadn’t even realized he’d gotten so rigid, so angry. He relaxed his shoulders and released his hands.
“What?”
“What happens in that room. I can see it in your eyes. I was livid for days when I first found out about it.”
Valc leaned back on the railing. “How did you stop seeing the girls… and the way they are treated?”
“My brothers and I are working to end what happens there.”
“As soon as I retrieve my ship, I want to help you.”
Auden nodded toward the captain’s quarters. “You have a personal reason to be enraged. Once time has passed, you will both forget she was ever there. You will have to.”
“I will never forget,” Valc promised. And he couldn’t imagine he ever could. The kind of debauched mind it would take to treat a girl like that deserved to be punished. Killed. All of them.
“They all say they will never forget.” Auden’s eyes tightened in frustration. “But it always falls to us to protect the ones who have no brother or husband or father to come after them.”
“How often do you succeed?”
“Not often enough.”
Valc exhaled. “You think leaving the boat will keep them from coming after us?”
“I think leaving the boat will make one less imagined offense they have to chase down. That man may never forget losing Cadha, but…”
“He hasn’t lost anything he can’t replace.” The words hung between them, dark and heavy. Nothing could change the ugly truth of the world.
“And he will replace her. Some other girl will pay for the offense we have given, and I will pray for that girl.”
Valc turned to face the monk and placed a hand on his shoulder. “I promise you. I will never forget this. When we have my ship, we will return to Holy Isle and help you. We will end this sickness.”
The corner of Auden’s mouth turned up. “May it be
so.”
Cadha’s voice caught Valc by the throat. “May what be so?”
“Nothing to worry you, my dear.” He grabbed her by the waist and hauled her against him, kissing her head.
Cadha laughed. “I’m not worried. May what be so?”
Auden’s smile infuriated Valc. The two men exchanged looks over Cadha’s head and Valc finally spoke, “I promised to help Brother Auden end the trade of women in Berwick.”
“You make a lot of promises, Valcymer.” Her eyes teemed with emotion as she looked up at him. “But that is one I believe.”
“As you should.” He dipped down to kiss her, but she skirted away from him, going to the edge of the gangway. Valc followed, pulling her back to the center of the ship.
“You shouldn’t be seen, Cadha. Not until we are well on our way.”
She wriggled away from him. “There’s no way the man would recognize me, even if they managed to track us, somehow.”
“Braided hair and a dark dress aren’t going to ensure your safety.”
Auden cleared his throat. “We should get you back inside the captain’s quarters. It was hard enough getting you on board without being seen. Most men are not…”
“Not comfortable with a woman on board, I know.” Cadha gave the monk a rueful smile. “My father is a ship’s captain and I spent most of my growing up years having the sign of the cross made over me whenever I’d step onto a deck.”
“You can be out in the open air all you like once we’re at sea,” Valc said, trying to drag her back to the enclosed room under the quarterdeck.
She resisted the whole way, but he finally had her safe in the room and his heart stopped galloping through his chest.
“As long as we make it to Wick by tomorrow, I promise to do as you ask.”
Valc nodded. “The Captain says we will arrive tomorrow evening. We can find your brother and…” he stopped. They had yet to discuss their future beyond Wick, or beyond retrieving his ship.
“You will need Maas’s help to reclaim your ship,” she said.
“And how is that?” His chest puffed of its own volition. “I can steal my own ship back without anyone’s help.”
“We don’t need to steal your ship. The pirate only asked to see Maas and speak to him. He wants to know I was telling the truth.”
“Cadha, if they cared about the truth, they would have saved us from the sea.” Valc shook his head. “They only care about money. That’s why they are privateers and not monks.”
She bristled and walked to the small desk that sat in the corner of the room. Cadha traced the corners of the maps that lay on the desk and faced away from him.
“My father is a privateer, and he cares about more than money.” Over her shoulder, she said, “You are a privateer of sorts, and you care about more than money.”
Valc crossed to her. “Your father is not the same kind of man that Calum Acheson is. Your father has a family he protects and a woman he loves. Your father has a conscience.”
“And you?” Cadha turned in his arms and settled her hands on his chest. Her hair had been split and braided again, and it framed her head like a halo. So beautiful.
“What about me?”
With a small upturn of her mouth, she challenged him. “Do you have a conscience? Do you have a woman you love? And a family?”
Valc knew what she was asking, but her words hit deep and hard. He thought of Greta and her end. He thought of the many years he’d spent as a lonely child, not knowing if there was a soul in the world who loved him. Of all the evil he had done in his life.
“I am more like the Bastard of Balfour than I am like your father.” He couldn’t keep the sad note from his voice, and she reflected his sour turn in her drawn gaze. “If you’re asking whether or not I love you, you know the answer to that. But the other parts of my life and my past… they are not pretty. Some are dark. They are not like anything you have known before.”
“I don’t need to know anything more about you to know that I could love you,” she whispered before kissing him.
Valc was surprised at her boldness, but reveled in the feel of her lips on his. He stole his arms around her and pulled her into his body. In the face of Cadha’s building affection, all the hard years of his past faded into oblivion.
Chapter Thirteen
Cadha woke from the middle of her deep sleep feeling the panic of the blindfold. She scratched at her face before she realized the dark was natural.
Valc’s arms were around her before she could crawl away and he shushed her, held her. Her heartbeat thundered in her ears and Valc’s hand on her back provided a rhythm for her to breathe to.
“It’s just a night terror,” he whispered. “You’re here and you’re safe.”
She closed her eyes against the dark of the room. Valc had blown out the candle, or it had gone out on its own, but the unfamiliar black expanse unnerved her.
“I can’t see anything.”
Valc reached behind him. “Let me find the flint and I’ll light the candle.”
“No, it’s fine.” She put her ear against his chest. “If you stroke my back again, I think it will help. The rhythm. It’s how my mother put me to sleep as a child.”
A tight laugh bubbled up from inside him and she heard it echo through his chest. “I’m not sure I like the idea of you thinking of your mother while we’re sharing a bed.”
She swatted at him. “We’re not sharing a bed, Valcymer.”
“So this isn’t a bed we’re on? And we’re not lying down together? And you’re not holding on to me? And you weren’t just sleeping?”
This time, she laughed. She appreciated his attempts to lighten her mood. Now that it was night and she’d been asleep, she’d almost been able to forget the last several days.
Part of her wanted to leave it all behind. The emotions she felt when she laid in Valc’s arms… she’d never felt these things before. Not with any boy before him. And her need to see Maas was now a need to confirm that her sister had been right. That Maas was intending to begin a new life in Scotland.
If he had truly designed to start his new life and leave his old behind, it wouldn’t be so bad for Cadha to have fallen in love on her way to find him. She might never stop feeling guilty about the emotions blossoming in her heart until she could hear why Maas hadn’t returned to Hoorn. Until then, every moment with Valc seemed illicit and clandestine.
“We’re not sharing a bed in that sense,” she said. “I know you mean to entice me into some sort of witty banter, but I’m not feeling up to it at the moment.”
Valc laid his hand on her back. “I mean to entice you into more than banter, but your virtue demands my restraint.”
Cadha laughed. “My virtue demands nothing; it’s my nerves that are worn.”
“I will wait. As long as you require.”
His earnest, deep tone told her he would rather not wait and she knew he deserved to hear the truth. Valc was a good man. She should be honest with him.
“Where is the monk?” she asked.
“Auden? He’s sleeping belowdeck with the rest of the men. They think we’re married, remember?”
“Valc, I need to tell you something, and it’s going to hurt you.” She traced the edge of his open tunic.
He grabbed her hand and kissed it. “You are distractingly beautiful, you know.”
The kissing of her fingers extended to her palm, and then to her arm, missing the tender flesh of her wrist. Cadha pulled her hand from his grip. “Valc.”
His dark eyes met hers and the breath stuck in her throat. She didn’t want him to stop kissing her, but she couldn’t continue one more moment in a lie.
“I’m promised to someone.”
Valc’s lips parted and his tongue darted between his teeth. He didn’t speak or look at her for several breaths. “Come again?” he asked.
“The man I was going to Wick to seek out. He was my intended.”
Valc pulled back and scooted to the e
dge of the bed. “Someone other than this brother you spoke of?”
“I never called him my brother,” she said. “He was like my brother.”
“Ahhh.” He let out a bitter laugh and leaned back against the wooden wall. “So that’s how you got around lying to Acheson.”
“I didn’t lie to him.”
“You’re right.” Valc rolled his tongue and looked into the empty dark of the room. “You didn’t lie. You never said he wasn’t your betrothed.”
“Valc.” She reached for him, but he was off the bed before she could lay skin on skin.
“You didn’t lie.” He walked across the room, pulling his shirt closed. “I was in love with you, and the truth-spotter knew it before I did.”
“Valc. Please.” Cadha scooted across the bed and sat on the edge. “Please, I need to tell you. I’m going to end my understanding with Maas.”
“You don’t need to do that.”
She expected venom. Anger. But the resignation in his tone tugged at her heart. She could barely see the outline of him in the dark, as he tied the top of his tunic.
“I just need to stop at Wick. We can go see Maas together and I will end our understanding.”
“Were you counting on him to help me retrieve the ship from Balfour?” Valc edged toward the desk and sat. “Because he’s not likely to help me after you’ve broken his heart.”
Cadha’s shoulders drooped. “What if I…”
Valc held up his hand. “Don’t worry about me, Cadha. You are well-shot of me, honestly. Auden and I will retrieve the ship. I’ll see you safely to your betrothed, and we can part ways.”
Tears burned their way up her throat. “That’s not what I want, Valc. Please. Just let me think about this. I’m sure there’s a way I can speak with Maas that will…”
“No. It’s best if you go with your intended and I go with the monk. We can part ways at Wick.” He stood. “I obviously care more for you than you do for me.”
Cadha tried to steady her breathing. She couldn’t make the right words come out of her mouth. Everything she said, he took the wrong way.
“I’m going to get some air. The night is calm.” He stepped through the door before she had a chance to stop him.
