by Lady Lissa
I still can’t remember what happened that night. I keep trying but it’s really hard for me to remember. Mandy always has this smirk on her face, like she knows something and I wonder if she does. Does she know something that I don’t about what happened to me that night? I wanna ask her but I can’t stand to hear her lie to me and I know that’s exactly what she’s gonna do.
I’ve been running into Lucy a lot. I don’t know where she be coming from most of the time, but she always seems to be in the same area I’m in. She’s nice and all, but she ain’t who I want so talking to her don’t do shit for me. I don’t know why she’s always smiling in my face like some love struck teenager. I could care less about her ass.
“Hey Onyx,” she says with that goofy smile on her face.
“Wassup,” I ask.
“Hey, are you in that Statistics 101 class?” she asks.
“You already asked me that before, remember?”
“Oh yea. So how is the class going for you?”
“It’s going great. Math is one of my best subjects,” I say.
“That’s great! Do you think you’d be interested in tutoring me once or twice a week?” she asked.
“Uh, I think you asked me that too last month. I told you that I’d like to but I can’t. Right now, I got way too much on my plate.”
“I’d pay you,” she offers.
“It’s not about that. Like I said, I just have too much on my plate,” I repeat.
“Oh, that’s too bad because I really wanna pass this class,” she says.
“I’m sure if you check around, you’ll find someone who will tutor you,” I tell her.
“I know, but I figure since we know each other already, it would be better for you to help me.”
“I can’t.”
“Have you been back home lately?” she asks.
“Leaving to go home tomorrow,” I say.
Her face takes on a nervous twitch when I tell her I’m going home. I don’t know what it is about the way she looks at me, but it’s something. I’m not worried about her though. I am worried about Mandy’s crazy ass.
“Oh, you are huh?” she asks nervously.
“Yep, so look, I’ll holla later.”
I take off and head to my next class. The day goes by smoothly and when classes are done, I head down to the football field to help out. I only have a couple of more weeks before basketball practice starts. Our first game is the first week of December, so I won’t be working the football gig much longer. Coach says he has something else lined up for me though. I’m glad because my baby needs to be taken care of and I plan to do my part.
I refuse to be a deadbeat dad. The next day, I wake up bright and early and head for class. I can’t wait until my last class is over so I can head home. When I get out of my 3:40 class, I rush over to the dorm and grab my bag, ready to jump on the highway and head home. The first thing I wanna do is go over to Starr’s place to talk to her. I don’t care what her mom has to say about it either. I have to talk to her.
I listen to my Lil Boosie CD on the ride home. It takes me two and a half hours to get there. I park in the driveway and cross over to Starr’s yard. I ring the doorbell and wait for her to answer because her car is in the driveway. It’s her mom that comes to the door and just as I suspected, she ain’t happy to see me.
“What are you doing here?” she asks with that scowl on her face that I’ve gotten used to.
“Miss Nina, I need to see Starr please,” I say.
“She doesn’t wanna see you,” she says as she tries to shut the door in my face.
I block the door and she opens it, looking at me up and down with an attitude.
“I think you have a lot of nerve Onyx. I knew you would hurt my child and you did. Now, get off my doorstep,” she says.
“Miss Nina please. I would have never done anything to hurt Starr. I love her so much,” I say.
“Bullshit! If you loved her, you wouldn’t have cheated on her!”
Wait, what? What the hell is Starr’s mom talking about? I never cheated on her. Is this some bullshit she cooked up to break the two of us up? If so, she really has too much time on her hands. I mean, why is she so worried about me and Starr’s relationship like that?
“Miss Nina, I promise to God, I have never cheated on Starr. We have a baby coming and I wanna marry her. I wouldn’t do that to her,” I say. Right now, the tears have started to flow from my eyes and down my cheeks. I hope that Starr’s mom can see past her anger and see the sincerity in my eyes.
I love Starr more than anyone else in this whole world. I want us to be a family, especially since we have already started one. This woman has got to believe me.
“Miss Nina, have you ever been in love? I mean, so in love that you thought you would literally die without that person? That’s how I’ve been feeling these past couple of weeks without Starr. I’ve been feeling like I can’t breathe or function right without her. Please, you have to believe me when I say, I have never cheated on her the whole time we’ve been together. This has got to be some misunderstanding,” I beg.
Her look softens a bit and once she steps aside to allow me entrance into their home, I feel hopeful that I can make all this go away.
“Have a seat in the family room. I’ll go get Starr,” she says.
I go to the family room as she instructed me to do and wait for Starr to come join me. Ten minutes later, she finally walks in, teary eyed. She looks at me and I rush to try and take her in my arms. I have missed her so much, all I want to do is hold her. Then my eyes land on her swollen belly. Last time I saw her, she wasn’t showing yet. But now, at almost five months, she has this cute little baby bump and she looks so beautiful.
She has this glow about her and it radiates around the entire room. I reach for her but she holds up her hand to stop me.
“Don’t touch me,” she says.
“Starr baby, what’s going on? I don’t understand why you’re so upset with me,” I say.
She looks at me with such disgust in her eyes that I almost feel ashamed of myself, even though I don’t know what I’ve done to make her feel this way. I’m staring at her with tears in my eyes, waiting for her to tell me something. All I wanna do is hold her. I’ve missed her so much.
“You have the nerve to say that to me,” she says.
“Baby, I swear, I don’t know what this is about. Your mom said something about me cheating on you…” I begin before she interrupts me.
“Oh, so now you’re gonna act like you don’t know what you did?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I never cheated on you!”
What is she talking about?
“Liar! Stop lying to me because I already know the truth. All I wanna know is why? Why would you hurt me this way? Is it the baby? Is it because you felt pressured because we’re having a baby? Why Onyx, why would you do this?” she asks as tears are streaming from her eyes. I just wanna take her in my arms and hold her tight. I just wanna wipe away her tears.
Seeing Starr crying like this is literally breaking my heart in pieces. I am so in love with her and I would never ever want to cause her this much pain. I don’t even know what I did or how I can fix it.
I get down on my knees before her and look up into her eyes, with tears in my own eyes. I just need her to see how this has been eating me up.
“Baby, I swear to you that I have never cheated on you. Don’t you know how much I love you? I’m so happy about this baby because now we can be a real family,” I reach out and touch her belly and she doesn’t move away from my touch this time.
“I love you more than anyone or anything else in this entire world, except the baby, of course. But, I wanna marry you Starr. You are my everything and I swear, I would never hurt you,” I say.
She pushes my hand away from her belly slowly and says, “But you did hurt me Onyx. You hurt me more than anyone has ever hurt me before. If you wanted to see other people, you should have told me that.
Of course I would have been hurt, but at least we would have discussed it face to face. I wouldn’t have been blindsided this way,” she says.
“I don’t want and have never wanted to see other people since we got together. I don’t know why you keep saying that,” I tell her.
“Then why did that bitch send me a picture of the two of you in bed together?” she asks.
Oh snap, now I’m really confused. Someone sent a picture of us in bed together? This is the first I’m hearing about it. Who would have done such a thing and how? It had to be that bitch, Mandy and the picture must be photo shopped. There is no way I would have gotten into bed with that bitch or any other chick for that matter.
“Okay baby, I don’t know who fed you these lies, but I’ve never gotten in bed with anyone. The only woman I wanna be with is you. If Mandy sent you a picture of the two of us in bed together, it has to be a photo shopped picture. I ain’t been with that girl in years. I hate her for what she’s done to you,” I say.
“Not Mandy…” she says.
“Well, if you aren’t talking about Mandy, who are you talking about?” I ask because now I’m really confused.
“Lucy, her cousin, that’s who!” she says.
I bust out laughing because this must be some sick joke. I must be the butt of that prank television show. I just know that any minute somebody is going to jump out and yell that I’ve been punked. That has got to be it because I ain’t never slept with that girl. I never even though about sleeping with her. For one, I love Starr and two, she’s Mandy’s cousin. Now, I know some dudes do that nasty shit and sleep with sisters and cousins, but I’m not one of them. I don’t do shit like that.
“You’re kidding right?” I ask when I see the serious look on her face.
She pulls her phone from her back pocket and turn it towards me.
“Does this look like a joke to you? Does this look like I’m kidding?” she asks angrily thrusting the picture in my face.
I’m looking at this picture and trying to figure out what the fuck I’m doing in the bed with this girl. I’m not even awake. As a matter of fact, I look like I’m sleeping while this bitch is beside me wide awake, snapping pictures. When the fuck did this happen? I’ve never slept with this girl, but in the picture, it looks like we did sleep together. I rub my eyes and look at the picture again. Oh my God! This bitch set me up. But when and how?
“Okay, now that’s some crazy shit! I’ve never been with that girl and I don’t know how she got that picture of us,” I say.
“Wow! That certainly was not the answer I expected,” Starr says.
“Baby, I swear that I’ve never been with that girl. I love you too much to ever cheat on you. Not only that, I wouldn’t cross that line with her. She’s Mandy’s cousin, for Christ’s sake!” I say.
“So explain this picture then,” she says.
“I can’t. Hell, I’m not even awake in any of those bogus pictures so I don’t know how she got those pictures. For real, I honestly don’t know. Please baby, believe me. You know me…” I begin before she interrupts.
“I thought I did,” she says.
“No, you do know me. You know that I am not that big of a jerk. You know I would never do that,” I say.
“So how did this happen?” she asks.
“I’m not sure. When were those pictures sent to you?” I ask.
“What difference does it make?” she asks.
“Please, just check to see when the pictures were sent to you,” I beg.
She looks at her phone for a few seconds, then says, “October 9th at 8:59 in the evening.”
I start thinking back to what I was doing that night. My mind reeled from day to night; what I did when I woke up, what happened during the day, what I did after class and who I was with. All of a sudden, this little light bulb goes off in my head. I grab my phone and begin going through my messages looking for the last time Starr texted me. Sure enough, it was the morning of October 10th. That was the morning I woke up late with a horrible headache, feeling like I had a hangover. That was the morning I couldn’t remember how I woke up naked after I passed out with all my clothes on.
“That bitch!” I say in anger.
“What is it?” Starr asks.
“She must have drugged me,” I say.
“What? Who drugged you?” she asks.
“Lucy! She had to have drugged me, otherwise none of this shit would have happened!”
“Onyx, you’re not making any sense right now,” I tell him. I need him to realize how ridiculous this sounds. Why would Lucy drug him? She wasn’t even after him, at least not that we knew of.
“That has to be it Starr. I mean, if I wasn’t drugged, do you think I’d remember that night?” I ask.
“What are you talking about, Onyx?”
Oh, she’s just as confused as I am. I don’t know what happened that night, but I’m gonna keep wracking my brain out until I figure it out.
“The night of the 9th, I was feeling dizzy and out of it. I was so fucked up, I don’t even remember how I drove back to the dorm…”
“You were drinking and driving?” she asks.
“C’mon now, you should know me better than that.”
“Okay, but if the girl did drug you, how did she do it without you knowing? Were the two of you together at any time during the day?” she asks, trying to make sense of this situation.
“Well, I did see her earlier when I was done with my first class, as always,” I respond.
“What do you mean as always? Do you guys have a class together?” she asks.
“No, we bumped into each other by accident a couple of times. Then, it seemed like every other day, there she was. The only thing I did after class was go to work. The only thing I drank while I was there was water. Come to think of it, I did see her watching that afternoon, but I figured she had someone special playing football. I didn’t think anything of it,” I say.
“But, how could she have drugged something you had?”
“I don’t know Starr. I’m just as confused about this as you are. All I know is that I drank my water that I always keep in my sports bottle and right after, I felt like shit. I had plans that night after practice was over to get something to eat, but I was so fucked up, I couldn’t do anything but go straight to the dorm. As soon as I finished drinking that water, I started feeling funny. By the time I got to the dorm, I could barely stand up by myself. Someone saw me and helped me to the elevator, but I was so out of it, I couldn’t make out who it was. Everything was just so darn fuzzy. Whoever it was helped me all the way to my room, unlocked the door for me and that’s when I passed out on the bed. That’s the last thing I remember. When I woke up the next morning, I felt like I had a really bad hangover and I couldn’t understand why. I was almost late for class, which is why I hadn’t responded to your text messages right away. I can’t believe she did that to me and that bitch has been smiling in my face ever since, knowing what she did to me,” I say as I run my hand down my face and sit down on the sofa.
This is some crazy shit. I never thought nothing like this could ever happen to me.
CHAPTER 15
Starr
When my mom first told me that Onyx was downstairs, my heart skipped several beats. I hadn’t seen him in three weeks and I wanted so badly to be excited to see him now, but how could I be when he had cheated on me? I don’t know what he’s even doing here. If I had cheated on him, he wouldn’t want anything to do with me, so why is he here?
I wasn’t going to go downstairs, but I couldn’t help myself. I missed him and I wanted to see his handsome face and fine body. Even though I’m upset with him, that doesn’t change the love I still feel for him in my heart. I made my way downstairs, prepared to throw his ass out of my house after giving him a piece of my mind.
But, once I saw him, all those feelings of love and adoration came flooding back. I managed to keep my feelings at bay though. He wasn’t getting off that easy after sleeping wit
h that girl. I must admit though, when he got down on his knees in the front of me and placed his hand on my round belly, I got weak in the knees. I almost knelt down with him and wrapped my arms around him, but then reality kicked in; he still cheated on me.
Now, listening to him describe how this girl drugged him and took advantage of him, it just seems unreal. Why would Lucy go through such lengths with her cousin’s ex? What is her motive and why would she send me that picture? Maybe they didn’t even sleep together. Maybe she just wanted me to believe they did so we would break up.
“Onyx, do you remember if the two of you had sex that night?” I ask, sitting next to him on the sofa.
“No. I don’t remember anything after passing out. I don’t know if we did or didn’t. I just know that I woke up naked, even though I went to sleep fully clothed. I have wondered how that happened and now it all makes sense. But why would she do that?” he asks confused.
“Maybe she just wanted to break us up,” I say.
“Well, she definitely succeeded with that,” he says sadly.
I loop my arm through his, placing my hand in his and say, “No, she didn’t.”
He looks at me with such love in his eyes, I don’t know how I ever believed he cheated on me in the first place. He grabs both sides of my face and with tears in his eyes, gives me the gentlest kiss on the lips. I kiss him right back because I missed him so much. I never wanted to believe that Onyx had cheated on me. Our love for each other and the bond we share as best friends was too strong for him to ever hurt me that way.
He pulls his lips from mine and say, “I love you so much Starr Landry.”
“I love you too Onyx Maxwell,” I say as we begin to kiss again.
His hand rubs against my stomach and he leaves it there. He holds me real tight before kneeling before me again and lifting my shirt.
“What are you doing? My mom is in the next room,” I say, nervous that he’s going to do something to make my mom put him out.
“Don’t worry. I’m not gonna do anything but this,” he brings his lips to my belly and kisses it.
“Hey little one, it’s your daddy. I just want you to know that you are loved, by your mommy and I. We love you so much and we are going to make sure that you always know that you were wanted, from day one. We can’t wait to meet you, little angel. We love you so so much,” he says, bringing tears to my eyes. He kisses my belly again with his hands on both sides. That’s when I feel it for the first time. I feel our baby kick and from the excited look on his face, I know that he felt it too. We smile at each other and kiss softly.
